


very cool, hina

by sevenohfive



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Multi, anyway no angst and no drama just stupid fucking teenagers, byakuya has Friends so he isnt one hundred percent asshole, chatfic, class 77??? is a DISASTER, hiro likes checking up on his friends, ive decided chihiro uses she/they bc its poggers, junko is sane and normal :), komahinanami platonic ot3.... i think abt them daily, man: kaito. breed: himbo, saiomaede friendship!!!, uh. references to sex and a bunch of mild dirty jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:04:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 63,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27150121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevenohfive/pseuds/sevenohfive
Summary: hina!!!:i just woke up in a cold sweat and suddenly remembered the cute earrings i saw at the mall yesterday and im just saying that i may or may not want to shoplift them after school today and!! one of u gets to be my lucky accomplice! yay!!Kirigiri:oh.Kirigiri:okay. i'm going back to sleep.what? you egg:UM
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Harukawa Maki/Iruma Miu/Tojo Kirumi, Asahina Aoi/Ogami Sakura, Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko, Fukawa Touko/Genocider Syo | Genocide Jack/Naegi Komaru, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Ikusaba Mukuro/Maizono Sayaka, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, Kirigiri Kyoko/Celestia Ludenberg, Koizumi Mahiru/Saionji Hiyoko, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Soda Kazuichi, Mioda Ibuki/Pekoyama Peko, Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi, Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya, Nanami Chiaki/Sonia Nevermind/Owari Akane
Comments: 215
Kudos: 560





	1. bring it on lil gay boy

**Author's Note:**

> this is based on my discord server. i love u guys u r all so stupid,, like its just a bunch of dumb gay people in one confined space lol
> 
> non-despair chatfic au but i attempt to not add much drama bc im weak haha. just teenagers being dumb!! thh cast are second years, sdr2 cast are third years and ndrv3 cast are first years!! have fun!! i have some drafts for like. 4 chapters or more idk
> 
> also all 6 dr1 survivors are good friends with each other because i said so. like imagine their power bro,,,, i think im able to properly write everyone apart so there's no need to put a list of names here yet?? but if anyone needs it please comment it down!! enjoy!!

**six gay peas in a pod <3**

**[3:47 AM]**

**hina!!!:** HEY

 **hina!!!:** guys

 **hina!!!:** i know it’s early but please don’t leave me on seen </3

 **30% off:** it’s only been one min lmao calm down

 **Kirigiri:** to be fair i intended to leave it on read.

 **what? you egg:** same hina it’s so early please sleep :(

 **hina!!!:** KYOKO u r so mean to me </333 u guys r also awake anyway

 **hina!!!:** yeah ok soooo

 **hina!!!:** i just woke up in a cold sweat and suddenly remembered the cute earrings i saw at the mall yesterday and im just saying that i may or may not want to shoplift them after school today and!! one of u gets to be my lucky accomplice! yay!!

 **Kirigiri:** oh.

 **Kirigiri:** okay. i'm going back to sleep.

 **what? you egg:** UM

 **30% off:** i support you queen

 **hina!!!:** HIROOO UR GOING WITH MEEE FUCK CAPITALISM

 **30% off:** LETS GOOOOOO

 **what? you egg:** @Kirigiri UM??? HELLO??? KYOKO??? WAKE UP THEYRE PLANNING SOMETHING ILLEGAL AGAIN??

 **hina!!!:** yeah makoto it’s illegal to ignore me :^(

 **30% off:** HEART BEEN BROKE SO MANY TIMES

 **what? you egg:** it’s illegal to shoplift………….

 **Kirigiri:** please just buy them.

 **Kirigiri:** i won’t report you, but togami might. he's mean like that.

 **hina!!!:** u r saying that to ME who is BROKE kirigiri kyoko i am WOUNDED

 **what? you egg:** omg ik our part time at the gym isn’t doing so hot and sometimes it’s nice to treat ourselves but HINA PLEASEJSHFJH

 **Kirigiri:** yeah.

 **hina!!!:** makoto you r the sweetest person i've ever met it’s unreal and. kyoko your little ‘yeah’ is so cute it touches my heart

 **hina!!!:** BUT

 **hina!!!:** consider: im a bad bitch

 **what? you egg:** please no

 **hina!!!:** sometimes i just want to be swiper

 **30% off:** same ngl

 **what? you egg:** hina :((((

 **hina!!!:** listen they are PLASTIC but they are EXPENSIVE for whatever reason. more expensive than they should be!! its not like theyll go bankrupt if a little lesbian decides to steal one pair of earrings!!!

 **hina!!!:** illegal? yes. but this is an act of rebellion

 **hina!!!:** guys

 **hina!!!:** STOP LEAVING ME ON READ IM SERIOUS HERE ASSFDFSDS

 **what? you egg:** i have this theory that if hina isn’t given attention in like 1-2 minutes she just dissipates from existence

 **hina!!!:** ;)

 **Kirigiri:** do you even have your ears pierced?

 **hina!!!:** a

 **30% off:** i

 **what? you egg:** are you….. shoplifting earrings….. for holeless ears……

 **hina!!!:** um

 **hina!!!:** this is why you guys are here to stop me <333 my friends <3333 love you guys <333

 **what? you egg:** HINA

 **30% off:** this is so funny to me like fr how much dumbass juice can that small body take

 **hina!!!:** okay FIRST OF ALL YOU WERE DOWN TO LITRALLY STEAL WITH ME MINUTES AGO

 **hina!!!:** and second it is LITTLE LESBIAN not SMALL thank you very much and only im allowed to call myself ‘little’ everyone else can go home

 **hina!!!:** and third not all of us can be tall hiro

 **30% off:** its ok hina the height genes will love you soon <3

 **what? you egg:** why are you two always like this

 **Kirigiri:** this friend group is weird like that.

 **what? you egg:** aaaaaskjdj kyoko i thought you went to sleep already ;-; you’re the one who needs it the most you have so much work to do as class rep

 **Kirigiri:** the notifs are flooding my phone.

 **hina!!!:** u can just mute us??

 **hina!!!:** or do u not want to mute us bc u,,, wuv us??? uwu

 **30% off:** you wuv us??? kwokochan??? owo

 **what? you egg:** h

 **Kirigiri:** i'm leaving.

 **hina!!!:** pwease no umu we wuv ywo too much pwese dont weave us uwu

 **Kirigiri:** when i pass by the cafe im telling them to add another espresso shot.

 **what? you egg:** UM??!!???

 **hina!!!:** we r so irritating we let kyoko walk one step closer to a caffeine coma

 **30% off:** isnt her regular order at 7 shots already

 **hina!!!:** NO WAIT OH MY GOD KYOKO

 **hina!!!:** im stopping owo speak just please dont drink your edible tranquilizer

 **Kirigiri:** i've had worse.

 **hina!!!:** i

 **what? you egg:** VISIBLE CONCERN

 **30% off:** kyoko-chi u should just sleep :<

 **hina!!!:** hold that thought

 **hina!!!:** i just remembered smth which one of u guys knows how to pierce ears

 **what? you egg:** HINA

 **30% off:** leon might know a place but in our class i rmb that sayaka knows! also mioda-senpai i think

 **what? you egg:** HIRO

 **hina!!!:** OPERATION SHOPLIFT IS BACK ON BUSINESS BABEY

 **30% off:** :DDDD

 **30% off:** :0 toko-chi is online

 **it was a dark stormy night:** can you guys shut the fuck up its almost 4 am

 **hina!!!:** good macklemorning to fukawa toko i guess

 **it was a dark stormy night:** go to sleep holy shit

 **what? you egg:** can’t sleep because the math hw is so difficult im sorry im trying my best </3

 **hina!!!:** toko is like *concerned friend noises* but under layers and layers of spikes

 **what? you egg:** shes even more softer around komaru its rlly cute

 **it was a dark stormy night:** thin ice, naegi makoto

 **what? you egg:** komaru is also a mess around her anyways like she’ll start rambling more when toko’s here im rlly happy she has a friend where she can be like that tbh

 **30% off:** IM

 **it was a dark stormy night:** my current work in progress happens to be a murder mystery and my latest research is on different reports on stabbing cases so if you want to test three different homicide scenarios then be my guest

 **what? you egg:** ahaha :D im so sorry fukawa-san :D i will just focus on my homework and sleep like you tell me to :D

 **30% off:** HAJHDHSDSF

 **hina!!!:** we all know toko wont rlly do it she tolerates us uwu

 **it was a dark stormy night:** fuck you

 **hina!!!:** ok ill take what i can get

 **30% off:** lol

 **hina!!!:** anyways since kyoko isnt here to be a mom i will remind you all that operation shoplift will be live today after school wish me luck babes muah muah

 **hina!!!:** and if byakuya happens to go dad friend on me as well tell him quote on quote ‘I can do what I want filthy capitalist’

 **what? you egg:** @Kuya @Kuya @Kuya

 **hina!!!:** MAKOTO HOW COULD YOU

 **30% off:** if it was anyone else pinging him i doubt togamoney would even look at his phone lmao

 **it was a dark stormy night:** byakuya at anyone else be like “perish worthless commoner” but for makoto its like “yes naegi make it quick naegi”

 **30% off:** TOKOSDFODGIDGS

 **what? you egg:** TOKO SHUT J JGHFH UP DJHSHF

 **hina!!!:** lmao ur so lucky u have the privilege to diss him as the Gay Best Friend

 **30% off:** doesn’t that go to kyoko

 **hina!!!:** no not really shes our impulse control

 **Kuya:** What.

 **what? you egg:** byakuya :D

 **hina!!!:** oh for fucks sake

 **30% off:** gay

 **Kuya:** It’s four in the morning, you idiots.

 **what? you egg:** hina has a message for you ;;

 **Kuya:** I don’t care what she does as long as it does not involve me.

 **it was a dark stormy night:** thats byakuyanese for ‘don’t do it for the love of god’

 **Kuya:** I despise you Fukawa

 **it was a dark stormy night:** that’s also byakuyanese for ‘thank you for helping me translate my emotionally constipated way of speech, fukawa’

 **hina!!!:** HELPJFKDJ

 **what? you egg:** HOW DO YOU EVEN GET AWAY WITH THAT IM

 **30% off:** LMFAO HE LOGGED OUT

 **what? you egg:** who’s supposed to stop hina from doing something stupid if kyoko and kuya aren’t here :(

 **hina!!!:** let me commit crime makoto just this once

 **what? you egg:** im telling sakura

 **hina!!!:** WAIT NO NOT HER PLEAJHSAD

 **30% off:** ah yes, the gf, the weakness

 **hina!!!:** it’s just EARRINGS makoto let me BREATHE

 **hina!!!:** whatever >:( u can’t stop me

 **Kirigiri:** we have classes at 7:30. sleep, or at least, rest up.

 **30% off:** SHE’S ALIVE

 **hina!!!:** mom friend kirigiri kyoko strikes again in an epic comeback

 **it was a dark stormy night:** i think it’s called being a functional human being

 **what? you egg:** EXCUSE ME SHE IS FAR FROM FUNCTIONAL

 **Kirigiri:** what

 **what? you egg:** as her best friend im aware she looks reliable and all but like have you actually. truly. sincerely met kyoko

 **what? you egg:** in exchange for her intelligence she runs on two hours of sleep and…. her honestly disgusting regular café order

 **Kirigiri:** um

 **hina!!!:** half of her thousand brain cells r dedicated to her deduction and reasoning skills and stuff and the other half is just the ones in charge of barely holding onto her sanity

 **30% off:** lol

 **it was a dark stormy night:** why are you guys talking like she isn’t here

 **Kirigiri:** as much as i would love taking offense to what you both just said, i would be more relieved if you all put down your phones and sleep. please.

 **30% off:** be like my man togamoney amirite

 **Kirigiri:** mhm.

 **30% off:** oky :D

 **what? you egg:** fineee </33 but only bc u said so

 **hina!!!:** yeah concerned kyoko is cute :T also im getting tired anyway i need the energy for my grand heist later

 **what? you egg:** HINA >:(( IM STOPPING U JUST U WAIT

 **hina!!!:** bring it on lil gay boy

 **what? you egg:** you will become the dust beneath my feet

 **Kirigiri:**.

 **what? you egg:** SORRY SORRY JSDHHDFHD I’M OUT

 **hina!!!:** looking forward to u backing out makoto

 **hina!!!:** btw sleep tight everyone <3

 **it was a dark stormy night:** fucking finally

* * *

**six gay peas in a pod <3**

**[4:20 AM]**

**30% off:** wait whose turn is it to say the thing for good luck later

 **hina!!!:** ME

 **hina!!!:** 420 MAKE A WISH

 **what? you egg:** isnt it supposed to be 11/11???

 **hina!!!:** yeah but we're late so compromise yk

 **30% off:** improvise. adapt. overcome

 **Kirigiri:** guys.

 **30% off:** :(

 **hina!!!:** sowwy </3

 **what? you egg:** </3

 **Kuya:** I get more white hair each minute I spend talking to you people.

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[11:48 AM]**

**Eggroll :D:** sorry to disturb you guys but has anyone seen hina i need to talk to her dkdkkfjd

 **sakura.:** oh, what for?

 **Eggroll :D:** ahaha,,,,

 **junkrat emoshima:** yeah what is UP with the vibe between you guys

 **Eggroll :D:** i have a fight to finish >:(

 **junkrat emoshima:** isn’t she a fucking athlete u dont stand a chance

 **Eggroll :D:** that may be the case but in the end only god can decide her fate

 **junkrat emoshima:** understandable have a bad day

 **chihiro:** isn’t it supposed to be nice im

 **Celes:** I believe I overheard her talking about ear piercings with Sayaka a few minutes ago.

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** ^

 **junkrat emoshima:** muku u bitch what is that name

 **Taka:** @Eggroll :D She is having lunch with Maizono-san at the music room!

 **Eggroll :D:** ISNFJNDFJDSKS

 **Eggroll :D:** HINA i cant believe YOU

 **chihiro:** whats going on???

 **11037:** is this about the piercings lmao

 **Eggroll :D:** she is SHOPLIFTING

 **11037:** THAT’S EVEN BETTER

 **Eggroll :D:** oh my godddd can somebody sane in this class pls help me before hina commits atrocities against the law for a set of earrings

 **my readings are accurate:** what abt kyoko-chi

 **Eggroll :D:** she’s probably busy i don’t wanna bother her D:

 **junkrat emoshima** : she and her goth gf r probably at the gardens in their own little world doing their freaky foreplay again

 **Eggroll :D:** um. i. you mean playing poker right djsdjsfhs

 **junkrat emoshima:** i said what i said twink

 **my readings are accurate:** and to everyone’s disappointment they aren’t actually dating :// but my crystal ball told me it will be soon!!!

 **chihiro:** THEY’RE NOT???

 **chihiro:** the first years even started a betting pool if they were seeing each other or not

 **my readings are accurate:** UM WHATJAHDJ

 **11037:** fr fr to be honest i cant actually tell if theyre just REALLY close or they r kissin its so hard to tell w those two

 **11037:** oomf be like I’m a compulsive liar and the only person that can unravel me and my secrets is my dear, sweet detective :)

 **chihiro:** LEONSJDJSHAHDSJHF U ARE SO DEAAADJAHDF

 **sakura.:** you guys are aware they can read the backlog right

 **junkrat emoshima:** good. those dumb bitches need all the help they can get

 **chihiro:** BYESUDDJSF

 **Eggroll :D:** aaaaaah we’re really out of topic esp since lunch break isn’t going to take forever but

 **Eggroll :D:** @Taka help me please

 **Taka:** @stop telling me to drink the chlorine Asahina-kun! If you don’t cease planning this, then I am obligated to stop you myself. This is immoral!

 **Eggroll :D:** taka :DDDD

 **discount miku:** sorry taka she cant be stopped anymore her ears have holes and they’re ready to be filled :/

 **11037:** h

 **junkrat emoshima:** sayaka u whore read that again im going to cry

 **my readings are accurate:** I CANT BREATHEHDDS

 **Eggroll :D:** i

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** please phrase that differently.

 **discount miku:** OH MY GOD I DIDN’T NOTICE PLEASE?<>!{p2@#? IM SO DUMB

 **discount miku:** thank u for pointing it out nicely muku <3

 **junkrat emoshima:** yo u both just gonna ignore me huh

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** right. you're welcome.

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** <3?

 **discount miku:**!!!!

 **discount miku:** <3!!!!

 **junkrat emoshima:** ugh i cant be mad muku is using emoticons now im so proud

 **my readings are accurate:** i spy something w the letter S

* * *

**Maizono Sayaka > Naegi Makoto**

**[11:53 AM]**

**Sayaka:** e

 **Makoto:** me but with byakuya

 **Sayaka:** gay

 **Sayaka:** ANYWAYS MAKOTO TELL HIRO TO STFU HE’S SO EMBARRASSUNGGFH

 **Makoto:** I CANT HE’S JUST LIKE THAT DJSHFSHF

 **Sayaka:** mukuro is so cute and hot and like rlly cute i cant take this anymore

 **Makoto:** CONFESSION TIME???? HELLO???

 **Sayaka:** NO not yet dsjskskdkf

 **Makoto:** we really are just a pair of frightened bottoms keysmashing about our crushes to each other

 **Makoto:** BUT STILL. YOU’VE HAD A CRUSH ON HER SINCE FIRST YEAR AAAAHASGHS HOW LONG CAN YOU KEEP IT IN

 **Sayaka:** forever :))))

 **Makoto:** SAYAKA

 **Sayaka:** makoto :((((

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[11:56 AM]**

**stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** ok so to list it off the ones coming w me for my epic grand earring heist is hiro, leon, chihiro, and mioda-senpai

 **vroom vroom:** why tf is chihiro going with you

 **chihiro:** i just want to watch lol

 **Taka:** Asahina-san please stop!

 **vroom vroom:** normally i would love to join u guys but taka is a higher priority so im on his side. aight you fucks listen to your class prez

 **Taka:** Bro :D

 **Eggroll :D:** aaaaa taka using emoticons,,,, my crops are watered

 **my readings are accurate:** haha g word

 **vroom vroom:** i will beat your ass hagakure yasuhiro

 **my readings are accurate:** :(

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** hiro y r u always like this hjshgdsjfg

 **Kirigiri:** hina, i'll ask togami to pay for the earrings. just stop whatever it is your planning so everyone doesn’t get in trouble.

 **Taka:** Ah, Kirigiri-san!! I’m ashamed I didn’t think of it sooner as your group is close to Togami-san, but thank you!

 **Kirigiri:** it’s no problem. we're closer to him, it wouldn’t have crossed your mind. asking anything from him can be a handful.

 **11037:** mom friend kirigiri coming in clutch

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** WHOA WHAT THE FUCK

 **Kirigiri:** i would’ve ignored them, but if they get in trouble then i will too.

 **chihiro:** lmfao

 **discount miku:** keep this up and kyoko will be turning into tojo from the year below

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** that’s… not a good thing. right?

 **Eggroll :D:** you guys may not feel it from the text but kyoko doesn’t enjoy being class rep at all lmaoo

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** KYO UR MAKING ME FEEL BAD

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** i mean byakuya is literally drowning in money so i could care less but still

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THAT

 **Kirigiri:** mhm. i don’t have to do anything, really. i'll just ask makoto to do it in dms.

 **junkrat emoshima:** bruh moment

 **discount miku:** bruh moment

 **Eggroll :D:** KYOKO WHAT

 **11037:** look ik makoto’s being gay rn but junko and sayaka both being bruh girls is giving me whiplash

 **chihiro:** huh. junko i get but sayaka has those hiiii girl vibes im actually Confused

 **junkrat emoshima:** omg saya-chan we r both bruh girls????

 **Kirigiri:** anyways.

 **Kirigiri:** if you will, makoto.

 **my readings are accurate:** g

 **Eggroll :D:** hiro if you say anything i will hurt you

 **my readings are accurate:** UR SO MEAN 2 ME

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[4:11 PM]**

**Eggroll :D:** okay i asked him

 **vroom vroom:** nice

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** WHA

 **junkrat emoshima:** LETS FUCKING GOOOO

 **discount miku:** GET THAT TOGAMI ASS MAKOTO

 **11037:** I AM LOOKING RESPECTFULLY

 **Eggroll :D:** YALL STFU SJDKFHJDHF

 **Eggroll :D:** neways he said,,, yes,,, i think???

 **Eggroll :D:** idk i like to think im good at it but im not as fluent as toko in byakuyanese

 **chihiro:** BYAKUYANESE

 **chihiro:** @no fukawa-san, we need help translating

 **no:** what

 **Eggroll :D:** byakuyamessage23.jpeg

 **Eggroll :D:** if it isn’t loading it says: I do not like indulging with people like them, but it has been a while since I’ve shown… my, well, gratitude, for all of you putting up with me so I regress. As long as it is only the six from our group then perhaps I will allow a little treat. Count yourself lucky, Naegi.

 **no:** he’s happy that we’re friends w him and wants to treat us so basically he said Yes

 **chihiro:** BRUH

 **11037:** I CANT BELIEVE????

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** hi um WHAT THE FUCK

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** byakuya wuvs us,,,, deadass

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** ^

 **junkrat emoshima:** togami b like i will stop being an asshole for a few minutes, as a treat

 **discount miku:** THIS IS SO FUNYNFDGJHDFJG HE LITRALLY HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR U GUYS ESP MAKOTO IM GOING TO PISIDUSF

 **Eggroll :D:** SAYAKA SHUT

 **discount miku:** u literally have a better chance of getting together than me and my crush </33 this is so sad chihiro play the world is mine

 **chihiro:** wha

 **chihiro:** WAIT SAYAKA WHAT

 **stabbing is a hobby:**?

 **discount miku:** i REFUSE to say anything else

 **junkrat emoshima:** YOU ARE ALL SO FUCKING STUPID

 **stabbing is a hobby:** junko???

 **my readings are accurate:** can i say it

 **vroom vroom:** nothing’s stopping you dude

 **my readings are accurate:** g

 **my readings are accurate:** gay

 **Eggroll :D:** hiro >:(

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** this is all thanks to yours truly babey

 **sakura.:** i’m sure the earrings will look incredible on you, hina.

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** SAKURAAHSAJDHGF I LOVE YOUUUU HDSGSHGF

 **sakura.:** love you too. <3

 **discount miku:** imagine being in a happy and loving relationship

 **Eggroll :D:** cant relate

 **vroom vroom:** cringe

 **Kirigiri:** same

 **discount miku:** KYOKO KAWUGDHW WHAT HUH

 **junkrat emoshima:** WTF OPEN UP DETECTIVE

 **chihiro:** kirigiri take the L

 **no:** i hate it here

 **my readings are accurate:** we wuv u too toko-chi uwu

 **my readings are accurate** : maybe syo too

 **no:** are you sure

 **my readings are accurate:** i don’t need to answer that

 **no:** lol

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[8:24 PM]**

**Eggroll :D:** BONDINGTIME1.jpeg

 **Eggroll :D:** BONDINGTIME2.jpeg

 **Eggroll :D:** BONDINGTIME3.jpeg

 **Eggroll :D:** I LOVE THEM??? AAAAA

 **vroom vroom:** for once togami doesn’t look like hes being suffocated lmao

 **my readings are accurate: @** makoto wlyt <3

 **Celes:** You all had lots of fun, I assume?

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** YEASSSS LOOK AT MY NEW LIL EARRINGS ITS TINY MERMAIDS AAAAHDSJDHS

 **Celes:** It fits you perfectly.

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** celes <33333

 **chihiro:** celestia ludenburg, shsl girl complimenter

 **Celes:** Of course.

 **Taka:** I’m glad you all had fun! Next time I will try schedule a bonding session for the entire class!

 **sakura.:** that sounds great.

 **Eggroll :D:** TAKA YES

 **Taka:** Ah, also @Kirigiri, as you are online and everyone else needs to know anyways, thank you again for passing me the class rep position. I’ll do my best!! We’re doing the paperwork tomorrow, correct?

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** FINALLY????

 **Eggroll :D:** oh thank god

 **Kirigiri:** no, thank _you_. that position along with the class president is perfect for you, and it’s been a challenge juggling rep duty with my detective work. it's appreciated.

 **Taka:** Thank you so much!

 **11037:** yall r so hardworking its bringing tears to my eyes

 **Celes:** I’m glad to see you took my advice, dear.

 **Kirigiri:** thanks. i just wish i could’ve done it sooner. i really don’t know why i was voted class rep. last year it was fine, but i don’t think i'll be able to handle it this time around if it went on for a little longer.

 **my readings are accurate:** idk it was a good choice at the time lmao

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** does this mean she’ll stop drinking that coffee i stg

 **Eggroll :D:** PLEASE

 **no:** if i hear that order one more time i think my brain will combust

 **chihiro:** oh you two go in the mornings together right?? around past 6ish?

 **no:** ugh unfortunately

 **11037:** is it even that bad i mean kiri doesn’t seem like the type to make a lot of bad life choices or smthn

 **no:** she ordered black coffee with 8 espresso shots this morning

 **11037:** I’VE LOST FAITH IN YOU KIRIGIRI KYOKO

 **Taka:** That’s… extremely worrying.

 **vroom vroom:** wtf kirigiri do u even get any sleep w that

 **sakura.:** i think that’s the point

 **Celes:** I’ve tried easing her out of it by coaxing her to sleep more. She’s doing better than she did last year, but it’s still not as good as it should be.

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** pls keep working on it omg makoto and i have been doing so for AGES

 **Eggroll :D:** :(((

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** it seems like ultimate detectives are cursed to be sleepless? saihara from 79A has the same problem, harukawa complains about it a lot when she’s sparring with me and pekoyama.

 **discount miku:** yeah :((( i talk w akamatsu during music club and she sometimes asks abt kyoko and if shes having the same issues

 **Kirigiri:** i'm alright you guys.

 **Celes:** Not really. No.

 **Eggroll :D:** yeah </3

 **chihiro:** tfw u got worried hot goth gf to check up on u when ur stricken w insomnia

 **Celes:** Fujisaki :)

 **chihiro:** yes i did not say anything celes-san pls go on

 **Eggroll :D:** HSJAHDHSA

 **Togami** : I know better than to lie to the Ultimate Gambler, Kyoko.

 **Eggroll :D:** kuya!!!

 **11037:** homo moment

 **discount miku:** PACK IT UP MAKOTO

 **Eggroll :D:** SHUT IT SOLDIER FUCKER

 **discount miku:** MF I’LLSKF CUT YOU??!?,LEWKR?!

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** OH

 **junkrat emoshima:** HOMO ACTIVITY

 **my readings are accurate:** g word

 **11037:** im

 **stabbing is not a hobby:**???

 **junkrat emoshima:** oh my godddddd

 **discount miku:** @Eggroll :D TAKE THIS TO THE DMS YOU BOTTOM

 **Eggroll :D:** GRRRR GRR BARK BARK WOOF GRR

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** cant believe that in this moment im kinning enoshima junko of all people

 **junkrat emoshima:** YOU BITCH YOU SHOULD BE HONORED

 **Taka:** I really do not understand how some of you keep up with each other…

 **vroom vroom:** it’s ok taka me neither

 **chihiro:** that’s what makes this class,,, like that I guess?????

 **no:** well i mean it could be worse

 **Celes:** How so?

 **sakura.:** ah. i think fukawa-san's noticed yamada-san isn’t here

 **chihiro:** LMAO GET FUCKED


	2. damn bitch we kinda dying today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **junko:** ALRIGHT SLUTS LETS GO HELP UR STUPID DEFECTIVE
> 
>  **junko:** *DETECTIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hm. celesgiri rights i think
> 
> edit: also the junkrat emoshima username isnt calling junko a rat, its referring to the actual overwatch character jshfdjsdfhjdhfj

**Class Seventygay**

**[6:51 AM]**

**chihiro:** life.

 **chihiro:** pain.

 **chihiro:** what is life but a series of struggles god just puts us through because of his hatred towards humanity

 **vroom vroom:** alright fetus that’s enough philosophy for today

 **chihiro:** FETUS???SAKJDKSJ MONDO EXCU SE ME???KSJDJA??

 **11037:** fujisaki chihiro found dead in tokyo

 **junkrat emoshima:** morning……. whores

 **junkrat emoshima:** i am craving the soft and warm touch of a woman

 **stop telling me to drink the chlorine:** i hate agreeing with you but saem

 **junkrat emoshima:** WH

 **discount miku:** ajhdsjdsfdg,,,,, women,,,,hot,,,, girls,,,,,,,,sdjksaldfs

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** oh cool. i like girls too.

 **discount miku:** h

 **junkrat emoshima:** MUKUROSAIK?!S HDSAJFH?!?!:l E; Al:”!)@##? !

 **11037:** *sayaka voice* DON’T SAY SIKE DON’T SAY SIKE

 **discount miku:** YOU TWO SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT U

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** ?

 **no:** it’s 6… please. please just one normal morning

 **junkrat emoshima:** yes??? it is normal???? i want to eat a hot woman’s pussy for breakfast??? will that change anything miss in love w makoto’s sister????

 **no:** i can make murder look like a suicide

 **chihiro:** what’s so utterly terrifying about fukawa-san is the fact that she never capitalizes anything when chatting so you can’t tell if her threat is real or not

 **Eggroll :D:** if its not syo then its not a threat

 **chihiro:** oh cool

 **Eggroll :D:** unless you start talking about komaru

 **chihiro:** oh

**stop telling me to drink chlorine changed their nickname to i get us into trouble**

**i get us into trouble changed sakura.’s nickname to i get us out of trouble**

**Eggroll :D:** wait since when did you have admin privileges

 **i get us into trouble:** let me speak lil gay boy

 **i get us into trouble:** so enough abt toko’s lesbian yearning i have smthn to say

 **no:** asahina i know your home address

 **discount miku:** um are you guys just gonna keep ignoring her

 **vroom vroom:** lmao

 **i get us into trouble** : ANYWAYS

 **i get us into trouble:** i may have stolen one more pair of earrings hehe

 **Eggroll :D:** and sakura saved you :/

 **i get us into trouble:** and sakura saved me :D

 **chihiro:** but i thought togami bought you some already what

 **i get us into trouble:** LISTEN i planned so MUCH of that heist i did NOT want to waste it

 **discount miku:** how did it go????

 **Kirigiri:** sakura-san ended up paying for her when she got caught.

 **i get us into trouble:** KYOKOSFSJF SHUT UPP U R SUCH A BULLY I HATE YOU </3

 **i get us into trouble:** its bc i wanted the gf and i to match okay :]

 **i get us out of trouble:** i wish she should’ve just told me.

 **i get us into trouble:** IM SO SORRYYJHFDSHSKSS

 **Eggroll :D:** don’t be like hina, kids

 **i get us into trouble:** fuck you square up makoto

 **Eggroll :D:** yeah??? YEAH??? mcdonalds parking lot by hope’s peak road. 7 am sharp.

 **i get us into trouble:** FUCKING FIGHT ME SLUR

 **11037:** BRO WTF THEY WENT OFFLINE THIS SHIT FOR REAL

 **no:** not again

 **discount miku:** HUH?JDH WHAT???

 **chihiro:** what just happened

 **vroom vroom:** ykno when we first introduced ourselves to each other they were the last kind of people i expected to punch each other’s lights out at the back of a mcdonalds

 **chihiro:** shut up mondo if u weren’t close to taka you would join them no balls

 **vroom vroom:** i

 **junkrat emoshima:** THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGGGG

 **11037:** fight fight fight

 **discount miku:** so is anyone gonna go there to watch them or

 **chihiro:** what we NEED is some ADULTS

 **chihiro:** @Celes you’re online and not on idle :D pls stop your girlfriend’s friends from going ham on each other

 **Celes:** Kyoko’s not my girlfriend. And I’m afraid you’ve got the wrong kind of person to ask mediating a fistfight.

 **junkrat emoshima:** yeah lol she will end up getting clocked in the jaw and joining the fight instead

 **Celes:** I’m not going to dignify that with a response.

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** @Kirigiri @Taka

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** kids in the hp road mcdonald’s parking lot, fistfight, unarmed, be tight on time with only ~30 mins before the first class

 **junkrat emoshima** : GET THEIR ASS MUKU

 **Taka:** On my way! Thank you Ikusaba-san!

 **Kirigiri:** ^

 **vroom vroom:** HUH

 **discount miku:** WHSAHGDHSAGFHKSF

 **11037:** IKUSABA WHAT WAS THAYTASYAD

 **junkrat emoshima** : next thing we know they’re going to school in a helicopter and hina/makoto are both handcuffed

 **11037:** detention maximum prison

 **no:** i really, really hate it here

 **chihiro:** why are we gay

* * *

**six gay peas in a pod <3**

**[12:01 PM]**

**Kirigiri** : this is the second fistfight we’ve had this year that’s happened in the back of a mcdonald’s.

 **Kirigiri:** it should be odd it’s happened twice, but with you guys i've learned to stop questioning anything.

 **hina!!!:** we’re sowwy uwu

 **what? you egg:** never again :^(

 **30% off:** we just gave kyoko-chi a migraine lmao new achievement gamers

 **it was a dark stormy night** : why do i associate with you guys again

 **what? you egg:** u tolerate us <3

 **hina!!!:** <3

 **30% off:** <3

 **what? you egg:** @Kirigiri @Kuya send hearts >:(

 **Kirigiri:** ah.

 **Kirigiri:** <3?

 **hina!!!:** CUTE/???!?!>!@#>!;L:?!

 **hina!!!:** holy shit you are so cute date me kyoko im in love with you

 **what? you egg:** you….. have a girlfriend

 **hina!!!:** sorry cant help it ;P

 **what? you egg:** @Kuya :(

 **Kuya:** No.

 **what? you egg:** please :D

 **Kuya:** <3

 **Kuya:** There. Be grateful, I have other things to do.

 **hina!!!:** that was fast

 **30% off:** wh

 **30% off:** whip

 **30% off:** whipped

 **what? you egg:** hina hiro stfu

 **it was a dark stormy night:** fine. i get it. i do.

 **it was a dark stormy night:** :/

 **30% off:** wha??? no heart????

 **what? you egg:** it's reserved for komaru

 **it was a dark stormy night:** i know where your family lives

 **what? you egg:** UM

 **hina!!!:** ANYWAYS

 **hina!!!:** at least i’ve gained some new valuable things this week

 **what? you egg:** like what

 **hina!!!:** i mean,,, no one else can say that they had bisexual icon pop sensation maizono sayaka pierce their ears for some earrings right

 **30% off:** IM

 **what? you egg:** hina……….

 **hina!!!:** and like. no one else in hpa besides makoto can say that they were late for history class because they decided to fuck some shit up behind a restaurant

 **Kirigiri:** she’s not wrong on both accounts.

 **hina!!!:** kyoko u beautiful bastard im free on friday night we can go to the park or the book café just say the word <33333

 **what? you egg:** HINAJSSABDHSFBS

**what? you egg:**

kyoko: 

hina: stop bullying me :’(((

kyoko: agrees w hina

hina: PLEASE DATE ME IM IN LOVE WITH YOU

 **hina!!!:** JSADHSJAGFHDSGF MA KOTO

 **Kirigiri:** i'm flattered, but i already have plans for friday night.

 **what? you egg:** DON’T TAKE HER SERIOUSLY

 **Kirigiri:** i know. i'm just saying it now in case one of you wanted to ask.

 **30% off:** um??? guys????

 **what? you egg:** WAIT HOL UP BACK UP

 **what? you egg:** YOU JUST FINISHED SOME CASES AND YOU’RE FREE FOR A WEEK RIGHT

 **what? you egg:** WHOS YOUR FRIDAY NIGHT I AM LISTENING

 **hina!!!:** kyoko i am looking WHAT IS UP

 **30% off:** i smell g word

 **Kirigiri:** none of your business.

 **hina!!!:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **30% off:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **what? you egg:** is it code c

 **Kirigiri:** that’s for me to know and for you guys to find out.

 **what? you egg:** *loud booing*

 **what? you egg:** the mysterious and cool persona doesn’t work!!! we know your gay!!!!!

 **hina!!!:** is our wittle wesbian kiwigiwi kwoko finally getting a date,,,,, owo,,,, as the wesbian goddess i am so pwoud of ywo owo

 **30% off:** hina shut up there are literal tears in my eyes

 **Kuya:** @Kirigiri Glad to see it work.

 **Kirigiri** : hm? oh right. thank you.

 **30% off:** UM W H AT

 **what? you egg:** KUYA??????

 **hina!!!:** wingman byakuya??? and kyoko saying THANK YOU to HIM,,,,,,, i never thought i'd be alive to see them happen on the exact same day

 **it was a dark stormy night:** @Kirigiri if you fuck this up and somehow don’t kiss celestia by the end of your date i will get syo to dropkick you

 **what? you egg:** KJSAHDJSAFJHDSGHJDSAS

 **hina!!!:** TOKO

 **30% off:** why are u invested in them

 **it was a dark stormy night:** kirigiri is one of my current references for my wip, and celestia was a beta for one of my other novels… i owe them

 **Kirigiri:** no you don’t. we did it because we were interested in your work and wanted to help.

 **it was a dark stormy night:** okay whatever

 **hina!!!:** awwww

 **30% off:** OH

 **what? you egg:** wait that’s actually awesome what

 **Kuya:** Put down your phones, plebeians. Biology’s starting soon.

 **hina!!!:** okay dad </3

 **30% off:** okay daddy </3

 **what? you egg:** hiro sajhdjsgfdhsgsks

* * *

**Hagakure Yasuhiro > Kirigiri Kyoko **

**[12:13 PM]**

**Yasuhiro:** i dont listen to byakuya so u better square the fuck up

 **Yasuhiro:** its a date isnt it

 **Kyoko:** no.

 **Yasuhiro:** sure the grass isnt green and water isnt wet

 **Kyoko:** it’s really not.

 **Yasuhiro:** kyoko-chi :(

 **Kyoko:** mhm.

 **Kyoko:** alright. to be honest, i'm not really sure.

 **Yasuhiro:** GASP THE DETECTIVE IS STUMPED

 **Kyoko:** right. you guys know that i may be good at observing and judging things from an objective approach, but when it comes to all this, reading feelings and emotions, i'm not so sure.

 **Yasuhiro:** kyo do u wanna talk in person about this :(

 **Kyoko:** that would be nice for later, but right now through text is fine.

 **Yasuhiro:** yay :> lay it on me Sherlock

 **Kyoko:** it’s not that much, but i guess i'm just frustrated because this is the first time i'm uncertain about reading the room correctly. 

**Kyoko:** she’s a truly kind person underneath all the layers, just really, really hurt and untrusting of everything, so it’s kind of worrying because i might be wrong. and i really don’t want to hurt her too, she’s had enough of that.

 **Kyoko:** there’s a lot more i have to say, but i'd rather have them for later.

 **Yasuhiro:** kyo ;-; first of all im rlly happy you trusted me enough to dump all this on me kyoko-chi!!! and also happy for u bc ur doing ur best out of ur comfort zone

 **Yasuhiro:** im confident it will all be okay :) ur a good person kyoko-chi

 **Kyoko:** you think so?

 **Yasuhiro:** HELL YEAH

 **Kyoko:** it’s nice to hear that from you, hiro.

 **Yasuhiro:** :D

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[9:34 PM]**

**11037:** does anyone know the answers to 17 and 28 for the physics assignment i am so fucking lost im gonna lose it scoob

 **vroom vroom:** same ^^ even w taka helping me out this shit isnt easy to crack

 **Taka:** Get off the phone Mondo. I’m coming back soon with some snacks :) We will probably take a while.

 **vroom vroom:** yeah sure and thanks bro

 **chihiro:** I AM LOOKING

 **11037:** ugh i get it im single and u guys r crushing on each other but nobody answered my question hELLO

 **11037:** oh wise and generous brains of the 78th class grant me your wisdom

 **junkrat emoshima:** world hard and cold..... tiddy soft and warm

 **chihiro:** sleep, bake bread, make peace not war 

**discount miku:** jhsadshf,,,,,shjfjhsdfhf,,,

 **11037:** NOT what i wanted

 **11037:** but appreciated nonetheless

 **Celes:** It’s A for 17, and if you solved 28 you might think the answer is B, but there are some certain derived equations needed for you to get the right answer which is actually C.

 **11037:** WH

 **11037:** THANKS????

 **Taka:** Celes-san! That’s not fair!

 **discount miku:** are you sure you should be telling a gambler that

 **chihiro:** why do i feel like i just witnessed a dark alley drug deal

 **no:** her answers are right. i checked it a few minutes ago

 **discount miku:** FUKAWA LMAO

 **i get us into trouble:** WAIT FR??????

 **i get us into trouble:** CELES I SHOULDVE ASKED U TO TUTOR ME FROM THE START I THINK UR MY SOULMATE

 **Kirigiri:** haha

 **discount miku:** im sorry but kyoko appearing from god knows where and ominously going ‘haha’ after hina calls celes-san her soulmate is so funny to me

 **my readings are accurate:** DSJHFHGD MY KIND OF ENERGY

 **i get us into trouble:** i

 **i get us into trouble:** ultimate swimmer steals sexy detective’s goth gf asmr

 **chihiro:** sexy detective

 **11037:** sexy detective

 **discount miku:** sexy detective

 **i get us into trouble:** LISTEN MY TASTE IN WOMEN REMAINS SUPERIOR KYOKO YOU ARE DROP DEAD GORGEOUS I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT

 **i get us into trouble:** actually it can go another way too

 **i get us into trouble:** ultimate swimmer steals goth girl's sexy detective gf asmr

 **Kirigiri:** thank you?

 **discount miku:** GIRL TAKE THE COMPLIMENT SHE’S RIGHT YKNOW

 **Celes:** @i get us into trouble I’ll be there soon.

 **i get us into trouble:** haha i got your gf kiss my ass kyoko

 **chihiro:** HINA I CANT STAND YOUSJHDHSF

 **i get us out of trouble:** i passed by taka in the common room and he looks like he’s going to explode.

 **Eggroll :D:** celes-san w all due respect i am warning you to sleep with one eye open tonight dksjdskdjd

 **Taka:** I’m alright. Just. Please don’t share the answers again. Everyone should be able to reach them at their own pace.

 **my readings are accurate:** i mean yes but also no

 **my readings are accurate:** <3

 **Eggroll :D:** HIROSJDHSJHFKS

 **Taka:** Get to work everyone! If you do well, then your assignments will be done in no time!

 **chihiro:** everytime taka motivates us i just gain 100+ points of courage and vitality

 **Eggroll :D:** same <3

 **Taka:** Thank you, you two.

 **chihiro:** <33333

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[1:41 AM]**

**junkrat emoshima:** ok so now that taka’s asleep which of u hoes is willing to spill the beans on what the right answer for 5 and 30 is

 **my readings are accurate:** IT’S ALMOST 2 AM

 **i get us into trouble:** i got both kyoko and richie rich to help me on those :3c the answer is A and D

 **junkrat emoshima:** hina i owe u my life i could kiss you rn

 **i get us into trouble:** ew no i don’t want ur germs on me </3

 **junkrat emoshima:** U SLUT BE THANKFULSHDSJHDSA??>!?!

 **i get us into trouble:** look in the mirror emoshima >:////

 **my readings are accurate:** r u two friends or not bc i cant tell

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** sometimes i can’t tell if she’s even my own sister.

 **junkrat emoshima:** M,,UKU,,,I,,,AMH,,HURT ,,HURRU TRU HDJSF,,,WAAA,,,WHY,,,,WOULD U,DO TH,,,IS TO ME,,,,,

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** i'm disowning you.

 **junkrat emoshima:** waaaadsjhf,,,dgj,,muku,,,, pleasz,, i wub you pelsase,,, pelaadkjs,,,,

 **no:** full offense but if you continue crytyping i'll kill you

 **i get us into trouble:** TOKOADJSFJH

 **junkrat emoshima:** betrayed by hina, fukawa and my OWN SISTER

 **chihiro:** UM GUYS

 **chihiro:** CAN I SAY SOMETHING

 **my readings are accurate:** ofc you can but WHY are you AWAKE

 **i get us into trouble:** sure thing chi!!!

 **chihiro:** so like its nearly 2 in the morning now right

 **chihiro:** i kinda stayed up late bc i was adding some modifications to alter ego and i got thirsty so i went to our cafeteria to get some drinks

 **chihiro:** for whatever reason i see kirigiri standing by the fridge and she turned to me holding this menacing looking cup of iced coffee and said ‘this one has cream, 20 pumps of mango, 20 pumps of mocha, so that’s 40 pumps of sweet, sweet hell fujisaki-san. and i will down this all in one gulp. if i pass out that means im most likely in a coma’

 **i get us into trouble:** UH

 **my readings are accurate:** IS SHE ALIVE IM GOING DOWN THERE

 **junkrat emoshima:** KYOKO MET GOD?

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** …is she in a coma then?

 **chihiro:** um

 **chihiro:** well

 **chihiro:** she. isnt????

 **chihiro:** she actually IS alive but like. she’s just staring into space while her hands are writing on some important looking papers,,

 **chihiro:** i decided to stay w her bc i didn’t wanna leave her alone in that state so uh. we've been here for like almost an hour already

 **i get us into trouble:** @my readings are accurate hiro take a pic i need to see her b4 i come down there too

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** i feel bad. kirigiri-san seems like she’s under a lot of stress.

 **i get us into trouble:** i mean the 8 espresso shots were an obvious giveaway already lmao

 **junkrat emoshima:** she needs a break and some pussy

 **i get us into trouble:** hehe wink wonk

 **junkrat emoshima:** oh who might it be ;) ;)

 **stabbing is not a hobby:**?

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** who are you guys talking about?

 **junkrat emoshima:** muku i love you so much but you are so dense oh my god

 **stabbing is not a hobby:**???

 **my readings are accurate:** kirisleepykyoko.jpeg

 **my readings are accurate:** pleasehelpthislesbian.mp4

 **junkrat emoshima:** KIRISLEEPY KYOKO

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** oh, at least she looks okay?

 **junkrat emoshima:** her eyes r drooping lmao

 **my readings are accurate:** SHE JUST SHOT UP AND SLAPPED HERSELF WHAT

 **i get us into trouble:** IM COMING DOWN THERE HOLD ON

 **chihiro:** she just brought out her laptop, opened a document and started typing rlly fast

 **chihiro:** hina pick me up im scared

 **i get us into trouble:** omw

 **junkrat emoshima:** ok im curious let me try something

 **i get us into trouble:** um what

 **junkrat emoshima:** later

 **my readings are accurate:** guysimscared.mp4

 **my readings are accurate:** SHE’S WORKING ON 4 DOCUMENTS

 **Eggroll :D:** WHY ARE YOU GUYS AWAKE

 **i get us into trouble:** navigating through the aftermath of kyo’s caffeine addiction

 **Eggroll :D:** oh hold on let me see the backlog

 **junkrat emoshima:** and while you are doing THAT

* * *

**New Group**

**[2:18 AM]**

**enoshima.official added na0makoto, ultimate.asahina and 5 others**

**enoshima.official renamed the group to clown sightings**

**enoshima.official changed their nickname to junko**

**junko:** ALRIGHT SLUTS LETS GO HELP UR STUPID DEFECTIVE

 **junko:** *DETECTIVE

 **ultimate.asahina:** lol

 **yasugakure:** why a new group tho

 **junko:** so she doesn’t find out duh

 **junko:** look i might be stoopid as hell but ik kiwikiwi isnt the type of person to accept help so easily so we gotta be subtle about it

 **ultimate.asahina:** im surprised u noticed that ngl

 **junko:** waaaaahdjhd!!! im not that dumb!!! hmph!! stop bullying me!!!

 **ikusaba.hpa:** junko if you don’t shut up i swear to god

 **junko:** u luv me <33333

 **yasugakure:** hina i think i found ur long lost sister

 **ikusaba.hpa:** thank god please have her i don’t want her anymore

 **ultimate.asahina:** LMAO

 **junko:** MUKU YOU ARE SO MEAN TO ME

**ultimate.asahina changed their nickname to ahoy**

**fukawawrites** : stop derailing the damn conversation

 **junko:** h

 **junko:** fukawa i want you to know im genuinely scared of you

 **official.togamibyakuya:** What is this?

 **junko:** oh mr krabs is awake good grief

 **ahoy:** we’re gonna help kyoko stop being a coochie abt her sleeping habits (or lack of it tbf) but on this chat and not the main one bc we know she’s stingy when it comes to accepting help lol

 **official.togamibyakuya:** I see.

 **yasugakure:** ur being surprisingly mellow about this what

 **junko:** ^

 **official.togamibyakuya:** What? Do you people expect me to have a tantrum about it or something?

 **yasugakure:** yes

 **junko:** yes

 **ahoy:** yes

 **ikusaba.hpa:** yes

 **fukawawrites:** yes

 **official.togamibyakuya:** Enoshima I will throttle you

 **junko:** HUH WHY ME

 **junko:** UGH IDC ANYMORE EVERYONE JUST GET DOWN HERE AND GET THE DETECTIVE TO SLEEP

 **yasugakure:** ok but how??

 **fukawawrites:** sleeping pills

 **ikusaba.hpa:** sing her a lullaby

 **ahoy:** knock her out and carry her to celes’ room

 **junko:** HINA YOU ARE A GENIUS

 **ikusaba.hpa:** um

 **fukawawrites:** why do i even bother

 **yasugakure:** AHHDGSAHFDGSHFGKS W H A T

 **na0makoto:** WHAT GUYS NO DON’T DO THAT IM

 **junko:** oh you’re alive

**na0makoto changed their nickname to ultLuck**

**ultLuck:** anyways as i was saying

 **ultLuck:** N O

 **junko:** YES

 **ahoy:** oh cmon why not makoto :<< she gets cuddle time w the love of her life and sleep in a nice bed what else could she want

 **ultLuck:** EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT YOU KNOCK HER OUT AND BREAK INTO CELES-SAN’S ROOM UNINVITED????

 **junko:** this is for her own good naeggs

 **ultLuck:** why am i even trying

 **ultLuck:** you guys already knocked her out didn’t you :/

 **fukawawrites:** just give up and watch, it’s easier

 **yasugakure:** yeah lol

 **yasugakure:** kirisleepykyokobutactuallysleeping.jpeg

 **ahoy:** shes so cute whaddahell

 **ahoy:** in another timeline, in another lifetime, i wouldve fallen in love w kirigiri kyoko 

**yasugakure:** we get it hina ur lesbian now stfu and help me carry her

 **junko:** JKAHJDHSAJFHDSGKD

 **junko:** ok so im on lookout at the girls’ dorms which one of u knows how to pick locks

 **ultLuck:** i really cant believe we’re doing this

 **ikusaba.hpa:** me either

 **ikusaba.hpa:** since asahina-san and hagakure-san are carrying kirigiri-san, i'm picking the lock. hold on let me get out

 **junko:** LETS GO BABEY

 **ultLuck:** kyoko is gonna kill us :(

 **official.togamibyakuya:** You all perplex me.

 **official.togamibyakuya:** However, I suppose it’s beneficial for you lot to know that Ludenburg isn’t roused so easily, so allowing some noise while picking the lock won’t wake her up.

 **fukawawrites:** what

 **ultLuck:** KUYA NO

 **junko:** TOGAMIAJ DHSJAGF>!>!lkl@po#*$?!

 **ikusaba.hpa:** i work quietly anyways, but that’s nice to know... i guess. in a way. thank you togami-san.

 **ultLuck:** GOD WE ARE SO SOOOO DEAD

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[3:05 AM]**

**chihiro:** UM GUYS WHAT WAS THAT

 **junkrat emoshima:** OML GODYMGFKSAKSDSA WE FORGOT ABOUT YOUJASHDFS

 **i get us into trouble:** CHIHIRO DON’T SAY ANYTHING WE’LL TELL YOU WHATS UP WE JUST FORGOT TO ADD YOU IN

 **chihiro:** IM GOING TO CRY WHAT

 **chihiro:** WHY DID YOU GUYS KNOCK HER OUT

 **chihiro:** IM SO CONFUSED PLEASE IM

 **i get us into trouble:** CHI WE’RE SO SORRY

 **my readings are accurate:** yall delete the important messages lets go gays

 **no:** everyday i keep asking why i interact with you people

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[6:56 AM]**

**Celes:** @everyone Which one of you?

 **Eggroll :D:**?

 **Taka:** Celes-san?

 **discount miku:** wh????

 **11037:** huh

 **Celes:** I’m asking politely. Which one of you?

 **vroom vroom:** yo we dont know whats going on

 **Celes:** I know very well that Kyoko is a good person and won’t pick the lock to my room and sleep next to me, and I doubt that she would do so without letting me know in advance.

 **Celes:** So, I am asking very politely. Which one of you?

 **discount miku:** UM WHAT

 **i get us out of trouble:** that’s concerning.

 **vroom vroom:** wtf

 **junkrat emoshima:** r u sure ur dear detective didn’t fuck the brains out of u that u barely remember anything

 **junkrat emoshima:** i mean if its true then damn u 2 r rlly quiet

 **11037:** JUNKO?D!11!DHGDGGDS/|>@l:#l##>$?!

 **i get us out of trouble:** enoshima-san…

 **discount miku:** i

 **Taka:** Enoshima-san! That’s inappropriate!

 **Taka:** As for your query Celes-san, I didn’t see any activity this morning, around 5 AM at most, that pertains to what happened. I also didn’t do it. I’m sorry.

 **Celes:** That’s quite alright, anyone with a working brain knows that you wouldn’t do anything like that.

 **junkrat emoshima:** BRUH DON’T IGNORE ME

 **Celes:** I left Kyoko to sleep in my room for now, she seems very exhausted. I'll be asking some of you soon to take notes for her.

 **Celes:** But once I get to class, I WILL find out which one of you heathens did this.

* * *

**clown sightings**

**[8:05 AM]**

**yasugakure:** when do u guys wager she’ll wake up

 **ahoy:** idk after lunch maybe

 **junko:** SEE WHAT I SAID?? that’s how much sleep that bitch needs

 **ikusaba.hpa:** celes-san is very laser-focused on our group. i'm not intimidated, but it seems the rest of you are.

 **ahoy:** PLEAJASJHAUHD SHE KNOWS SHE KNOWSSSS WE ARE SO DOOMED

 **ultLuck:** im scared :(((

 **yasugakure:** OH COME ON YOU GUYS

 **ahoy:** stfu ur the most scared out of all of us UR LEGS ARE SHAKING

 **yasugakure:** CAN YOU BLAME ME????? UNLIKE YOU WLWS I DO NOT FIND CELES’ GLARE HOT. I FIND IT TERRIFYING

 **junko:** i dont think we can outlie the queen of liars

 **junko:** we’re dead boys we had a good run

 **ahoy:** damn bitch we kinda dying today

 **fukawawrites:** do you guys think there’ll even be a missing person’s report

 **yasugakure:** TOKO DON’T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT WHAT THE FUCK

 **ahoy:** I HATE YOU GUYS <3

 **yasugakure:** i just hope byakuya doesn’t drop us

 **junko:** @official.togamibyakuya we’re relying on u morosexual

 **junko:** so anywho

 **junko:** me on the floor after celes beats me to death w a hammer b like *bleeding sexily*

**ikusaba.hpa left the group**

**junko:** WHAT

 **ultLuck:** uh

 **ahoy:** ahahaha guys she’s approaching me goodbye world

 **junko:** ONLY THE PROFESSOR WALKING IN CAN SAVE YOU HINA

**fukawawrites left the group**

**yasugakure:** COME BACK W

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[11:56 PM]**

**junkrat emoshima:** TOGAMI YOU FUCKING SNITCHKSJALSADbedn

 **discount miku:** what

 **11037:** oh my god she fuckin dead

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[2:24 PM]**

**Kirigiri:** good afternoon.

 **Kirigiri:** all of you are dead to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i've figured out the pattern: 2 chapters each for every dr so like. 2 each for thh, sdr2 and ndrv3?? a rotation if u will
> 
> edit: anyway somebody asked for the list of nicknames so here:  
> Eggroll :D - Makoto   
> Kirigiri - speaks for itself  
> Togami - speaks for itself  
> discount miku - Sayaka  
> junkrat emoshima - Junko  
> stabbing is not a hobby - Mukuro  
> stop telling me to drink the chlorine, i get us into trouble - Hina  
> sakura., i get us out of trouble - Sakura  
> no - Toko  
> my readings are accurate - Hiro  
> 11037 - Leon  
> chihiro - speaks for itself  
> vroom vroom - Mondo  
> Taka - speaks for itself  
> Celes - speaks for itself
> 
> for the survivors chat its;  
> hina!!! - speaks for itself  
> Kirigiri - speaks for itself  
> what? you egg - Makoto  
> 30% off - Hiro  
> Kuya - Byakuya  
> it was a dark stormy night - Toko


	3. gay people real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **ryotAH:** why cant we just be like kirigiri and saihara who does timed crying sessions in the library instead
> 
>  **boss baby timeskip:** im sorry they have a what now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my thh ships be like *popular pairs* and then my sdr2 and ndrv3 ships be like *rarepair hell* so hiii im ur average soniaki and pekobuki enjoyer (please help me god) i simply believe in rarepair supremacy
> 
> also when you read until the end this is an advanced im sorry sjkdjsdjfdhgjdgf

**two bros alone on an island sitting 5ft apart bc theyre not gay**

**[10:50 AM]**

**token white girl:** Good afternoon everyone! If anyone needs me during lunch break, you can find me at the gardens.

 **gamer girl gf:** gotchu

**gamer girl gf pinned a message**

**token white girl:** Thank you, Chiaki.

 **gamer girl gf:** ok anyone else wanna announce smthn before i have lunch and basically ignore you losers for the rest of the day

 **boss baby timeskip:** the boy’s bathroom is locked again

 **boss baby timeskip:** whos the one in there having an existential crisis and crying to dancing queen by abba??

 **stab me daddy:** hajime

 **stab me daddy:** its his turn today

 **boss baby timeskip:** oh k

 **boss baby timeskip:** thanks peko

 **stab me daddy:** np

 **totally not a furry:** I believe it is my turn later tonight! The dark devas will appreciate it if their master has exhausted the best available emotional outlet!

 **ryotAH:** why are we like this

 **ryotAH:** why cant we just be like kirigiri and saihara who does timed crying sessions in the library instead

 **boss baby timeskip:** im sorry they have a what now

 **totally not a furry:** @ryotAH We’ve lost the concept of time two years ago.

 **ryotAH:** oh

 **hajimeme:** dw guys ill be done in like. a few minutes

 **hajimeme:** i’ll still be able to have lunch w u 2 @gamer girl gf @komaeda <3

 **komaeda <3: **ah!! that's good to know hajime!! im just glad you and nanami-san are always making time for someone like me

 **gamer girl gf:** dont think we’re letting that last line slide komaeda :l

 **gamer girl gf:** and u can call me chiaki i stg we’ve been talking abt this since last year

 **hajimeme:** well at least he doesnt call himself trash anymore :/ i think we’re making good progress haha

 **teru fried chicken:** yk sometimes i wonder if hpa cares about mental health bc we’re really out here using the boy’s restroom as a therapy session office and hajime’s taken it upon himself to be a councillor

 **ryotAH:** hope’s peak academy staff be like damn yall hear sumthn

 **hajimeme:** uh

 **gamer girl gf:** mental health would be a monumental task if the students ur managing and teaching are,,, like,,

 **gamer girl gf:** you know

 **gamer girl gf:** *vague gesturing towards this entire school*

 **mama-hiru:** careful chiaki your class rep side is showing lol

 **Tsumikan:** i think they should be paying attention to it a lot more ><

 **Tsumikan:** i want to know everyone’s doing well mentally too ^_^

 **Tsumikan:** it’s hard managing this program all by myself

 **stab me daddy:** it’s nice to know that at least you care for us, tsumiki-san.

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** ^

 **mama-hiru:** hiyoko.

 **minion gijinka:** i wasnt even gonna say anything what

 **mama-hiru:** good to know you’re improving

 **ryotAH:** whipped

 **Tsumikan:** @stab me daddy @togami 2 electric boogaloo thank you, you two i appreciate it ^o^

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** ok but mikan has anyone ever told how cute you and your emojis are

 **Tsumikan:** DSIdhsfn

 **shark week:** UM GUYS WHAT WAS THAT SCREAM

 **ryotAH:** lol scroll up souda

 **totally not a furry:** It scared the dark devas…

 **mama-hiru:** mikan lol

 **minion gijinka:** PACK IT UP OWARI

 **teru fried chicken:** gay people real

 **ryotAH:** gay people real

 **teru fried chicken:** RYOTA SAME HAT

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** I JUST SAID SHE WAS CUTE ???? IVE CALLED EVERYONE THAT LOTS OF TIMES ????? EVERYONE SHOULD APPRECIATE HER ???

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** ibuki agrees!! mikan is amazing!!

 **mama-hiru:** ibuki just appears to compliment girls then disappears to god knows where and honestly mood

 **Tsumikan:** tthankk yyouuu >///<

 **gamer girl gf:** alright el gee bee tee communitee calm down for a sec this is your class rep speaking

 **gamer girl gf:** i need to know if hajimeme is out of the bathroom bc those mcnuggets arent going to eat themselves damn

 **komaeda <3: **is it okay for me to go on ahead and order for you two, chiaki-san?

 **gamer girl gf:** nah we’re going together head for the lobby

 **gamer girl gf:** hajime is just being a slowpoke

 **hajimeme:** my existential crisis has a SCHEDULE chiaki and i have like 3 minutes left. you KNOW im serious with this

 **gamer girl gf:** LUNCH DOESNT GO ON FOREVER HAJIME

 **teru fried chicken:** why yall going to mcdonalds WHEN IM RIGHT HERE

 **mama-hiru:** if you start cooking for them by extension you cook for the entire class and do you think you can cook + feed everyone in one hour lmao

 **teru fried chicken:** ew logic

 **teru fried chicken:** disgusting

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** L

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** mahiru u couldve just kept that to yourself

 **mama-hiru:** literally fight me rn owari

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** are you sure about that

 **mama-hiru:** a

 **mama-hiru:** no

 **stab me daddy:** does anyone know where ibuki is having lunch? she isn’t responding to dms.

 **shark week:** ok but why u of all ppl,,,, asking abt her

 **shark week:** also first name basis??? and no honorifics??? last year wasnt she mioda-san or somethin

 **minion gijinka:** ^

 **ryotAH:** eyes emoji

 **COACH!:** @stab me daddy Mioda-kun was walking here! She’s having lunch with me and Kuwata-kun at the track field! She said she wanted fresh air while tuning her guitar!

 **stab me daddy:** ty

 **shark week:** huh

 **shark week:** WAIT SHE DIDNT EVEN ANSWER MY QUESTION

 **minion gijinka:** are they… yknow

 **boss baby timeskip:** just leave it fuckwits she probably just needed smthn

 **boss baby timeskip:** also kaz you better hurry the fuck up the bento you left w me is getting cold

 **shark week:** oop my bad

 **minion gijinka:** is there something we should know or

 **boss baby timeskip:** fuck off

 **shark week:** yeah <3 he’s just my bro <3

 **teru fried chicken:** uh. what

 **shark week:** none of ur business duh who tf says shit in a group chat

 **teru fried chicken:** fr

 **minion gijinka:** damn ok

 **minion gijinka:** r u adults always like this </3

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** you and kuzuryu are almost the same height

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** and we are literally the same age

 **minion gijinka:** says the 40 year old

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** :(

 **Tsumikan:** saionji-san i suggest that you be careful with your food tonight ^_^

 **minion gijinka:** WHA

 **mama-hiru:** HWAHG?HDSAGD??WA?KRWA???

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** MIKAN?????

 **shark week:** THEYRE SO DIFFERENT FROM FIRST YEAR AND NOW ITS LIKE

hiyoko: h

mikan: bye whore

 **teru fried chicken:** SJHADHGJSGFDLFKD

 **minion gijinka:** this is BULLYING and i am APPALLED

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** Takes one to know one, Saionji.

 **minion gijinka:** i

 **teru fried chicken:** its ok hiyoko mahiru can kiss that burn for you

 **ryotAH:** DJFJHFDGJHG?!>?#>#?!

 **boss baby timeskip:** ok but whatever happened to tsumiki

 **boss baby timeskip:** that’s what being exposed to enoshima for long periods of time does to you fr

 **shark week:** why r we referring to enoshima like some kind of virus lol

 **mama-hiru:** is he wrong

 **shark week:** MAHIRUHFDJHDJHSSLDS

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** OOP SHOTS FIRED

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** ibukipekopekoandtheboys.jpeg

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** ibukipekopekoandtheboys2.jpeg

 **mama-hiru:** ibuki popping out of nowhere and uploading two images with no context whatsoever is the kind of energy i aspire to have this year

 **ryotAH:** ‘ibuki, pekopeko and the boys’

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** nekomaru is just vibing and kuwata looks like hes going to choke wtf is this man eating

 **COACH!:** He asked to try some of my food!!

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** …it has laxatives doesnt it

 **mama-hiru:** LMAO

 **shark week:** PEKOYAMA AND INSTANT RAMEN IS SO FUNNY TO ME

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** it’s ibuki’s!! we exchanged lunch meals!! :D

 **boss baby timeskip:** mf is cursed to have her glasses fog up w remotely any food thats fresh and smoking

 **minion gijinka:** arent u 2 supposed to b having lunch together or smthn

 **boss baby timeskip:** nah we’ve been doing that less for almost a year now

 **boss baby timeskip:** i like it when she hangs out w others besides me y kno

 **boss baby timeskip:** mioda just happens to be one of the people who somehow got through her

 **minion gijinka:** IS THERE SOMETHING WE’RE SERIOUSLY MISSING HERE IM GOING NUTKJSAHDJS

 **teru fried chicken:** OSHIT WHATS UP

 **ryotAH:** ^

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** nothing!!

 **stab me daddy:** nothing.

 **minion gijinka:** HUH

 **boss baby timeskip:** shut the fuck up stop bothering them or i'll send a hitman

 **mama-hiru:** ^ sorry but hiyoko has no fear :/

 **minion gijinka:** @stab me daddy @*breathes in* *screams* ??????

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** you’re not missing anything!!

 **stab me daddy:** you’re not missing anything.

 **shark week:** WHA

 **mama-hiru:** what are you two even

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** close friends!!

 **stab me daddy:** close friends.

 **minion gijinka:** WHATS GOING ON R U TWO GOING OUT OR SOMETHING

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** no!!

 **stab me daddy:** no.

 **minion gijinka:** bruh

 **ryotAH:** i hate it here

 **shark week:** same

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** i hate gay people

 **boss baby timeskip:** owari, you’re gay people

* * *

**kiss your homies or else**

**[11:14 AM]**

**kk slider:** hajimeme im taking sonia w us and no this is not a question. this is a threat

 **i'm hajime:** understandable have a nice day

 ***drops from counter* and im gay:** did you finally ask her out chiaki-san? i know an ultimate as great as you can do it if you tried :D

 **i'm hajime:** ISJAJHDAHDF

 **kk slider:** jahdjasfgsdgfs kOMAEDA

 **kk slider:** its. not :/

 **kk slider:** it’s just lunch???? and a friend hangout???? you two r literally going w me??????

 **i'm hajime** : jUsT lUnCh

 **i'm hajime:** i’ll have you know that inviting the person of your interest to lunch has a high success rate that you will end up more than friends. that's how nagito and i ended up kissing at the back of a cafe

 **i'm hajime:** source? me. trust me

 **kk slider:** irrelevant. i just want my nuggets

 ***drops from counter* and im gay:** chiaki-san :(

 **kk slider:** i want both sonia and the nuggets but thats beside the point

 **i'm hajime:** i mean

 **i'm hajime:** we’ll just leave u w her then

 **i'm hajime:** right nagito

 ***drops from counter* and im gay:** yes of course!

 **kk slider:** ABSOLUTELY NOT

 **kk slider:** other than the obvious scheming u two will probably just make out and miss a class and ill get in trouble so no fuck you :/

 **i'm hajime:** that’s rich coming from a white girl’s simp

 **kk slider:** hajime they will never find your body

 **i'm hajime:** you wont have the audacity to kill me if you cant even ask sonia out so good luck trying to do that <3333

 **kk slider:** HAJIMEJKNRFJEBFGSLLKsnd

 **kk slider:** lets just go to lunch please i hate you both

 ***drops from counter* and im gay:** Chiaki-san i want to be frank with you but i'm getting tired of watching you two dance around each other’s feelings its been a year already :(

 **kk slider:** yes ok komaeda but i still want my nuggets

 ***drops from counter* and im gay:** ultimates deserve to be happy with each other!

 **kk slider:** good god

 **i'm hajime:** lol

 **i'm hajime:** nagito do the thing im sick of her

 **kk slider:** what

***drops from counter* and im gay added princess.nevermind to the group**

**kk slider:** e

 **kk slider:** WHAT ARE YOU DOINHGHSODIDIJGFH

 **kk slider:** IM COMING FOR YOUR ASS KOMAEDA

***drops from counter* and im gay changed princess.nevermind’s nickname to Sonia**

**i'm hajime removed administrator privileges from kk slider**

**kk slider:** HAJIME YOURE DEAD

 **Sonia:** Um? Hello?

 ***drops from counter* and im gay:** sonia-san :D chiaki-san has something to say

 **kk slider:** NO

 **i’m hajime:** YES

 **kk slider:** DON’T SCROLL UP

 **kk slider:** PLEASE

 **kk slider:** hfjd

 **kk slider:** sadjhsjf

 **kk slider:** duasd

 **kk slider:**.

 **kk slider:** h

 **kk slider:** a

 **i'm hajime:** CHIAKI

 **Sonia:** What’s going on?

 **kk slider:** nothing important just go back to whatever you were doing :^)

 **i’m hajime:** scroll up sonia

 ***drops from counter* and im gay:** it’s important to us sonia-san :D

 **Sonia:** Okay?

 **kk slider:** NO PLJAHJDHKISJAI?!>@#

 **kk slider:** pls don’t listen to them theyre stupid

 **Sonia:**?

 **i'm hajime:** dont listen to chiaki she’s being a pussy

 **kk slider:** HAJIMEJHSADJHSF

 **kk slider:**.

 **kk slider:** h

 **kk slider:** dshuhff

 **i'm hajime:** CHIAKI STFU OR ELSE IM MUTING YOU LET IT HAPPEN FFS

 **kk slider:** i hate it here fr fr

 **kk slider:** when i see you two its on sight

 **kk slider:** hinata hajime, komaeda nagito, kick her out or my lawyer will be in contact

 **i'm hajime:** no <3

 ***drops from counter* and im gay:** no <3

 **kk slider:** i regret sending u memes komaeda im out of here

 **i'm hajime:** SONIA’S TYPING EVERYONE SHUT UP

 **kk slider:** i'll get u for this later fuck you

**kk slider left the group**

**i'm hajime added nanami.chiaki to the group**

**i'm hajime changed nanami.chiaki’s nickname to kk slider**

**Sonia:** Chiaki?

 **kk slider:** a

 **kk slider:** what me whos that

 **kk slider:** i guess im the only chiaki here haha what is it

 **Sonia:** Is it true?

 **kk slider:** well maybe im joking

 **kk slider:** or perhaps not

 **kk slider:** i guess its true haha

 **kk slider:** if you want it to be

 **Sonia:** We can have lunch and talk in my room if you’d like. I have enough food for the both of us.

 **kk slider:** oh

 **kk slider:** um

 **kk slider:** sure cool

 **Sonia:** Ten minutes. ^^

**Sonia left the group**

**i'm hajime:**.

 **i'm hajime:** so

 **i'm hajime:** that. just happened

 **i'm hajime:** god that was so awkward god bles

 **kk slider:** i

 **kk slider:**.

 **kk slider:** am i dead

 ***drops from counter* and im gay:** we’re all very much conscious, chiaki-san

 **kk slider:** im dead aren’t i

 **i'm hajime:** u idiot go get ur girl

 **kk slider:** i hate you guys

 **kk slider:** wtf im so nervous

 **kk slider:** im still going to kill u both in case ur getting any other ideas

 **i'm hajime:** u wont be saying that when ur making out w her later

 **i'm hajime:** CHIAKI DID U JUST GIVE ME THE BIRD SHJFDSHF

 **kk slider:** fuck u i hope u choke on those nuggets

 **i'm hajime:** ILY2 NOW GO GET THAT PRINCESS COOCHIE

* * *

**kiss your homies or else**

**[11:50 AM]**

**i'm hajime changed their nickname to disaster 1**

**disaster #1 changed *drops from counter* and im gay’s nickname to disaster #2**

**disaster #1:** SO

 **disaster #1:** nagito how long do u think until the girlfriends start spamming pics of each other on the group chat

 **disaster #2:** maybe by the end of the day hajime ^^

* * *

**Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko > Pekoyama Peko**

**[4:17 PM]**

**Fuyuhiko:** ibukiandpeko12.jpeg

 **Fuyuhiko:** i thought you two were keeping it lowkey this is so not cash money

 **Fuyuhiko:** i was doing my best getting the attention away from you two

 **Peko:** we’re not dating

 **Fuyuhiko:** yeah and hinata and komaeda are just a pair of heterosexuals w some weird skinship rituals to fortify their ‘broship’

 **Peko:** we’re not dating

 **Fuyuhiko:** peko i

 **Fuyuhiko:** im.

 **Fuyuhiko:** SHE’S SITTING ON YOUR LAP???? AND NUZZLING YOU???

 **Peko:** yeah and?

 **Peko:** we’re not dating

 **Fuyuhiko:** peko im going to explode if you keep this up

 **Peko:** we’re not doing anything?

 **Fuyuhiko:** its okay to hide it peko but not from me we’re like family

 **Fuyuhiko:** its also ok to say you’re dating her i'm actually relieved bc your pining was so obvious you two are so gross sometimes lol

 **Peko:** but we’re not dating

 **Fuyuhiko:** i

 **Fuyuhiko:** w. what

 **Fuyuhiko:** you’re not giving me much material to work with here

 **Peko:** we’re just close friends

 **Fuyuhiko:** ARE YOU FUCKING W ME RN

 **Fuyuhiko:** peko just. stop

 **Peko:** say what you want but

 **Peko:** we’re not dating

 **Fuyuhiko:** isthisallowed.mp4

 **Fuyuhiko:** HOW ABOUT THIS

 **Fuyuhiko:** it’s a lil blurry but still?? you thought you were slick

 **Peko:** a little kiss on the cheek doesn’t mean we’re dating

 **Fuyuhiko:** YOU WERE MAKING OUT????

 **Peko:** a little making out doesn’t mean we’re dating

 **Fuyuhiko:** PEKO I SWEAR TO GOD

 **Peko:** it’s ok young master, we all make mistakes sometimes

 **Fuyuhiko:** MOTHERFUCKER I’LL SHOOT YOUITYG|??!?@?#?!

* * *

**two bros alone on an island sitting 5ft apart bc theyre not gay**

**[1:03 AM]**

**COACH!:** If you people are planning to be intimate with each other, at least keep it down for the comfort of everybody else!

 **mama-hiru:** IT’S SO LOUD

 **minion gijinka:** whoever’s getting absolutely fucking railed at this time of the hour i hope you’re really happy. because of you being an absolute loud ass bitch of a godforsaken bottom you just woke me up and now i cant go back to fucking sleep. once i find out who you are i will make sure you know the true meaning of despair. i will fucking obliterate you verbally that you will never find the will inside yourself to fight back when im done with you. you WILL fucking pay and i will make sure to see to your demise personally

 **teru fried chicken:** KJSAHJDSHFJSDJFDEGF

 **mama-hiru:** HIYOKODSAJSD?!?AKAS!!DSF/@<#$?!

 **teru fried chicken:** THEYRE HAVING A GOOD TIME AT LEAST LMAOOOO

 **totally not a furry:** Dear lord.

 **Tsumikan:** that’s… a bit excessive but my sentiments exactly ><;;

 **ryotAH:** i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here

 **ryotAH:** ive endured so much sleepless nights already but this. im. not prepared for this one

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** anyone have any spare noise cancelling headphones lying around lol

 **ryotAH:** GOD I WISH

 **mama-hiru:** is it hajime and komaeda ugh

 **hajimeme:** no holy shit we just woke up

 **hajimeme:** AND. WE ARE V I R G I N S

 **minion gijinka:** then who else would be slapping cheeks in our class asswipe

 **hajimeme:** HIYOKO DO NOT SPEAK EVER AGAIN PELEASELAHDSJFDGBVDHG

 **Tsumikan:** should we find out who it is and ask them to keep it down? >///<

 **mama-hiru:** unless you want embarrassment on both sides then sure

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** I'm pretty sure that we shouldn’t leave things this way either.

 **teru fried chicken:** ion care how late it is but if you guys noticed whoever the mf is they have some fuckin pretty good pipes

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** TERUTERU SHUT UP MY LUNGSDHGDGSSSSS

 **mama-hiru:**.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,,.

 **mama-hiru:** suddenly i am sad gacha girl

 **minion gijinka:**?#&)*$(*$$?@:(@%21?&

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** I pity the ones rooming next to them.

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** I think it’s time we ask Nanami to forward the application for soundproofed walls… this is too much.

* * *

**kiss your homies or else**

**[1:10 AM]**

**disaster #2:** hajime :< what if its them?

 **disaster #1:** CHIAKI

 **disaster #1:** CHIAKIIII

 **disaster #1:** GOOD GOD I HOPE IT ISNT YOU

 **disaster #1:** @kk slider

 **disaster #1:** @kk slider

 **disaster #1:** @kk slider

 **kk slider:** Ah, sorry Hajime! Sonia here. I’m replying because Chiaki fell asleep playing games with me. She was wearing some headphones when she fell asleep, and I haven’t taken them off because of, well, you know.

 **kk slider:** Don’t worry, we’re not the ones producing the noise.

 **kk slider:** mylove.jpeg

 **kk slider:** Look! She looks so cute I love c:

 **disaster #1:** sonia thank god u have no idea how scared shitless i was sklfkdjgkdgdsf

 **disaster #1:** also aww im happy for you guys

 **kk slider:** Thank you ♥ I’m sure whatever Chiaki said earlier, she didn’t mean it. She loves you too. ^^

 **disaster #1:** haha awwww ik that sonia

 **disaster #1:** doesnt solve whoever is behind the damn moaning though good god

 **kk slider:** It’s okay Hajime! I have a plan to get whoever it is to stop!

 **disaster #2:** as expected of an amazing ultimate like you Sonia-san!

 **disaster #1:** nagito

 **disaster #2:** as expected of you Sonia-san!

 **kk slider:** Thank you!

 **disaster #1:** i just hope whatever that is…. works.???? though i doubt it

* * *

**two bros alone on an island sitting 5ft apart bc theyre not gay**

**[1:24 AM]**

**ryotAH:** WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

 **teru fried chicken:** MY EARS

 **Tsumikan:** please tell me if some of you are bleeding ><

 **mama-hiru:** um. i. what. the moaning just.

 **mama-hiru:** IT JUST FUCKING STOPPED

 **minion gijinka:** whoever just fucking screeched at the most unrealistic pitch ive ever heard in nineteen years i now owe you my life those horndogs just stfu

 **minion gijinka:** now. i sleep

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** same

 **hajimeme:** UM

 **hajimeme:** GUYS I MIGHT KNOW????

 **hajimeme:** @token white girl WAS THAT YOU????

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** HOL UP

 **teru fried chicken:** UM WHAT

 **minion gijinka:** DEADASS????

 **mama-hiru:** i

 **totally not a furry:** what on earth

 **ryotAH** : we got gundham to do lowercaps what

 **token white girl:** Yes! 

**togami 2 electric boogaloo:** I mean. It worked?

 **teru fried chicken:** e

 **token white girl:** I didn’t think it will, but I’m glad it did! I hope that solves the problem at hand everyone. Good night.

 **hajimeme:** SONIA WHAT NO WE NEED YOU TO EXPLAIN WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED WASDJSIJFFG

 **ryotAH:** i mean we would love to know wtf just happened but S L E E P HINATA

 **hajimeme:** i'll just ask in the morning then OTL

 **shark week:** bruh i just woke up and wtf

* * *

**two bros alone on an island sitting 5ft apart bc theyre not gay**

**[5:31 AM]**

**boss baby timeskip:** mioda

 **boss baby timeskip:** mioda fucking ibuki

 **boss baby timeskip:** @*breathes in* *screams* @*breathes in* *screams*

 **stab me daddy:**?

 **stab me daddy:** fuyuhiko?

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** :0 yes? what do you need from ibuki?

 **boss baby timeskip:** you

 **boss baby timeskip:** i know it was you

 **boss baby timeskip:** im coming for you

 ***breathes in* *screams*:**???? ibuki does not know what you are talking about???

 **boss baby timeskip:** don’t deny it and don’t play dumb

 **boss baby timeskip:** peko for fuck’s sake you could have warned us or something that you two we’re gonna shag

 **stab me daddy:** we didn’t do anything

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** we didn’t do anything

 **boss baby timeskip:** PEKO IM FIRING YOU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me making teruteru tolerable be like
> 
> also yeah so that happened,,,, im sorry and dont talk to me pleanajhswe grhj
> 
> edit: list of nicknames were asked for so im adding haha:  
> hajimeme - Hajime  
> gamer girl gf - Chiaki  
> komaeda <3 - Nagito  
> token white girl - Sonia  
> shark week - Kazuichi  
> boss baby timeskip - Fuyuhiko  
> gordon ramsay content enjoyer - Akane  
> stab me daddy - Peko  
> mama-hiru - Mahiru  
> minion gijinka - Hiyoko  
> Tsumikan - Mikan  
> *breaths in* *screams* - Ibuki  
> togami 2 electric boogaloo - Impostor, the better Togami  
> totally not a furry - Gundham  
> teru fried chicken - Teruteru  
> COACH! - Nekomaru
> 
> hajime, chiaki and nagito's chat;  
> i'm hajime, disaster #1 - Hajime  
> *drops from counter* and i'm gay, disaster #2 - Nagito  
> kk slider - Chiaki


	4. *gundham voice* Whore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **boss baby timeskip:** due to personal reasons i have decided to pass away
> 
>  **shark week:** FUYUHIKOADJSLE HAHAHHAAHSAGDHSGF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahaaha,,,, i have less free time bc college decided to bitchslap some deadlines on me again so updates will be slower but not that much. all im doing is copypasting from my drafts lol
> 
> edit: i think i forgot to mention izuru doesnt exist in this au?? idk i never thought this through bc im stupid lol. maybe the kamukura project failed and as compensation they just placed hajime in the main course lmaooo
> 
> anyway more pekobuki bc im. garbage

**two bros alone on an island sitting 5ft apart bc theyre not gay**

**[7:02 AM]**

**shark week:** so

 **shark week:** was anyone gonna tell me mioda and pekoyama were an item or was i supposed to find out through a group chat

 **shark week:** or fuyuhiko breaking down in the lobby

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** i dont think anyone knew besides kuzuryu lol

 **ryotAH:** OOMFS R DATING???? FR???

 **COACH!:** CONGRATULATIONS! @stab me daddy @*breathes in* *screams*

 **minion gijinka:** mioda consider urself fucking lucky if ur s/o was anyone else i would have fucking strangled u

 **hajimeme:** PEKO AND IBUKI ARE WHAT

 **teru fried chicken:** ,,,,,,, gay. gay together

 **totally not a furry:** @komaeda <3 I believe we had a deal.

 **komaeda <3: **of course! i will wait at the back of the school to collect your money tanaka-san, i'm sorry you lost the bet to someone like me

 **totally not a furry:** All is fair in love and war Komaeda-kun!

 **gamer girl gf:** wow hpa’s underground gambling ring is more widespread than i thought

 **totally not a furry:** Ah… this isn’t direct messages. A shameful mistake on my part. Oh well.

 **hajimeme:** UM WHAT

 **gamer girl gf:** shut up hajime

 **ryotAH:** yeah stfu hajime we’re trying to congratulate oomfs for dating

 **hajimeme:** BUT BUT BUT ,DASLJFDSKJF!??!??????

 **minion gijinka:** r u done hinata we got more important shit to deal with

 **minion gijinka:** like mioda and pekoyama dating apparently

 **hajimeme:** i

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** we’re not dating!!

 **stab me daddy:** we’re not dating.

 **gamer girl gf:** I CALL

 **gamer girl gf:** BULL

 **gamer girl gf:** SHIT

 **mama-hiru:** wh.

 **mama-hiru:** what.

 **mama-hiru:** peko run that by us again please

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** we’re not dating

 **stab me daddy:** we’re not dating

 **teru fried chicken:** can you guys give me eyedrops i think im seeing shit

 **shark week:** wht the fuckity frickity fackity fackery hell on earth

 **ryotAH:** i hate it here

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** I agree with the term… ‘bullshit’.

 **minion gijinka:** bullshit so real i think i feel my organs running out of my asshole

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** bullshit so real im preparing my bleach and weed cocktail

 **hajimeme:** YOU TWO EXUCUSEKME ME|???>$>?$?!?!

 **ryotAH:** b. but u two d did the thing the t h e se x im im

 **ryotAH:** im.

 **ryotAH:** i

 **gamer girl gf:** GIRL NOT ON THEM BREAKING RYOTA

 **teru fried chicken:** f

 **stab me daddy:** that doesn’t mean we’re dating

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** we did it as friends!!

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** right pekopeko?? as friends!!

 **stab me daddy:** as friends.

 **boss baby timeskip:** due to personal reasons i have decided to pass away

 **shark week:** FUYUHIKOADJSLE HAHAHHAAHSAGDHSGF

 **minion gijinka:** @stab me daddy @*breathes in* *screams* WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN

 **minion gijinka:** I

 **minion gijinka:** FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS??

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** nope!! it just means pekopeko and ibuki aren’t dating :D

 **ryotAH:** THEN WHAT ELSE COULD IT MEAN

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** what the ever loving fuck

 **hajimeme:** can. can you both elaborate please . please

 **stab me daddy:** it’s simple.

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** yep yep!

 **stab me daddy:** we’re both gay

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** we’re both gay!!

 **stab me daddy:** but not

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** gay together

 **stab me daddy:** gay together

 **boss baby timeskip:** i

 **token white girl:** jesus fuck son of a bitch

 **hajimeme:** SONIA\HDSJAD///?@?$><>$<??!

 **boss baby timeskip:** ive had FUCKING ENOUGH

 **boss baby timeskip:** *sigh*

 **mama-hiru:** im sorry but did you just type out a fucking sigh

 **boss baby timeskip:** *sigh*

 **boss baby timeskip:** *sigh*

 **boss baby timeskip:** *sigh*

 **boss baby timeskip:** *sigh*

 **boss baby timeskip:** *sigh*

 **boss baby timeskip:** *sigh*

 **shark week:** FUYUHIKO WHAT

 **boss baby timeskip:** Peko, I’m tired of your bullshit.

 **minion gijinka:** OH SHIT PROPER GRAMMAR

 **boss baby timeskip:** I’m going to your room. We’re going to have a TALK

 **ryotAH:** please

 **minion gijinka:** GET HER ASS KUZURYU

 **stab me daddy:** hold on

 **stab me daddy:** fuyuhiko, let’s not get unreasonable here

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** yeah :0 ibuki thinks her room isnt presentable you know!!

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** im sure peko-peko still hasnt hidden the strap on over the cabinet yet!!

 **hajimeme:** HUH

 **teru fried chicken:** w

 **boss baby timeskip:** WHSKFDSLJTERT/3//?@??#

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** or even the lube i think. tidy it up peko-peko!!!

 **ryotAH:** WHAT. WHAT WHAT

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** BLEACH

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** bleach on my eyes. please please i'm nothing

 **mama-hiru:** i

 **mama-hiru:** i want to commit heart stop

 **minion gijinka:** because of you two i give up on liking women. everyone this is me coming out as straight

 **minion gijinka:** sorry it had to end this way :’(

 **minion gijinka:** mahiru i apologize for being like this :’(

 **mama-hiru:** damn i thought u were my hoe

 **mama-hiru:** but now u just fam </3

 **mama-hiru:** i dont support that lifestyle but you do you man :/

 **minion gijinka:** one last call of honor please </3

 **boss baby timeskip:** F

 **ryotAH:** F

 **teru fried chicken:** F

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** F

 **shark week:** F

 **gamer girl gf:** F

 **token white girl:** F

 **hajimeme:** WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN GOING ON

 **minion gijinka:** i came out hinata, duh

 **hajimeme:** one normal day

 **hajimeme:** just one normal day

 **Tsumikan:** you wish for too much hajime-kun ^o^

 **hajimeme:** im just going to sit down and pretend all of you don’t exist

 **gamer girl gf:** ANYWAY

 **gamer girl gf:** while hajime has another teen life crisis i have a thought

 **gamer girl gf:** like

 **gamer girl gf:** this class is the second gayest thing ive seen in three years

 **ryotAH:** ayyyyy

 **teru fried chicken:** whoa bro whats the first one bro

 **gamer girl gf:** me bro

 **gamer girl gf:** its me bro

 **gamer girl gf:** me

 **teru fried chicken:** nice

 **shark week:** nice

 **ryotAH:** nice

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** nice

 **hajimeme:** i hate you guys

* * *

**kiss your homies or else**

**[12:09 PM]**

**disaster #1:** SO

 **disaster #1:** when r u telling them abt u and sonia

 **kk slider:** oh so ur done w ur mental breakdown for today huh r u good

 **disaster #1:** shut up chiaki answer my question

 **disaster #2:** i wish to know as well!

 **kk slider:** sonia and i agreed to let them figure it out for themselves its kinda funny

 **kk slider:** when do u think theyll figure it out

 **disaster #1:** aw okay

 **disaster #1:** hmmmm how do i say mmhmhhm como se dice

 **disaster #1:** considering we never knew abt peko and ibuki until we literally heard the latter getting railed last night then maybe,,,,, in like a few months

 **kk slider:** HSAUHDSGFSHGFKSLELS

 **kk slider:** also wow you litrally have no faith lmao what

 **kk slider:** in our defense they were really, really good at hiding it and keeping their hands to themselves lol

 **disaster #2:** i have an idea!

 **disaster #2:** i’ll give it a week :D

 **kk slider:** thats kinda fast

 **disaster #1:** okay but why

 **disaster #2:** unlike pekoyama-san and mioda-san, i don’t think chiaki-san is very great at withstanding being away from her love for, at maximum, an hour :^)

 **disaster #1:** NAGITO HAHAHAHAHDGSHADGSLEKAD

 **kk slider:** KOMAEDAKHSJAHDJS?!

 **kk slider:** RUDE

 **disaster #2:** i dont mean this in an offensive way D: i just think sonia-san isn’t the type to stay undetected ^^ i reckon she’d want to brag about you at any given opportunity

 **disaster #2:** you’re one of the few people in here she treasures greatly chiaki-san. shaped like a friend :D

 **disaster #2:** but this is just an observation, someone like me cant possibly be right? yes?

 **disaster #1:** nagito

 **kk slider:** komaeda :////

 **disaster #2:** right right im trying my bad

 **kk slider:** ok but like

 **kk slider:** that. that was actually so nice of you

 **kk slider:** maybe,,,, mayhaps,,,, i kinda want to agree

 **kk slider:** like it honestly is sweet of you to say that

 **kk slider:** ,,and i want to believe its true

 **disaster #2:** it really is, trust me chiaki ^^

 **kk slider:** okay <3

 **disaster #2:** <3

 **disaster #1:** GOD I WANT TO HUG YOU TWO SO BAD FR FR

 **disaster #1:** ILY GUYS

 **disaster #1:** btw chiaki no hetero bro

 **kk slider:** aight no hetero to u 2 bro <3

 **disaster #1:** COME TO MY ROOM LATER AFTER CLASSES GUYS

 **disaster #1:** ITS FRIDAY MOVIE NIGHT LETS GOOOOO

 **disaster #2:** i'll bring the snacks hajime!

 **disaster #1:** chiaki you don’t have any plans around that time rite

 **kk slider:** nah sonia has some hw

 **disaster #1:** then ur in charge of drinks. ill set the room up

 **kk slider:** LETS GOOOOOOOO

* * *

**two bros alone on an island sitting 5ft apart bc theyre not gay**

**[9:38 AM]**

**mama-hiru:** good morning to all lovely women and nb pals it is Sunday,,,,, happy 'nap for literally the next 24 hours' day!! unless you haven’t done hw

 **teru fried chicken:** what abt men 

**mama-hiru:** the what now

 **teru fried chicken:** nvm

 **mama-hiru:** so anyways

 **mama-hiru:** take a shot for everytime hiyoko calls you a housewife when you show the tiniest expression of discipline and responsibility

 **COACH!:** I’d be drunk!

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** passed out

 **gamer girl gf:** rushed to the ER at critical condition

 **hajimeme:** you’d all be at my funeral bc i died from alchohol poisoning

 **shark week:** …r yall ok

 **hajimeme:** each class literally has their,,, poison or something

 **hajimeme:** ouma from year 1, enoshima from year 2 and ,,, then

 **hajimeme:** there's hiyoko

 **ryotAH:** anyone in this class be like im going to start working on homework bc ur all insufferable and hiyoko b like ‘ok housewife’ ‘silence housewife’

 **minion gijinka:** should i be mad or

 **minion gijinka:** i feel like i should

 **hajimeme:** well i mean………… are you

 **minion gijinka:** no lol

 **Tsumikan:** i'll make sure you all won’t end up at that point ^_^

 **Tsumikan: @**COACH! @togami 2 electric boogaloo @gamer girl gf @hajimeme the medical conditions i mean

 **COACH!:** THANK YOU TSUMIKI-KUN!!

 **gamer girl gf:** thats epic

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** mikan we literally dont deserve you what

 **Tsumikan:** >///<

 **mama-hiru:** hiyoko

 **minion gijinka:** I WASNT GONNA SAY ANYTHING PROMISE PROMISE

 **mama-hiru:** :)

 **teru fried chicken:** dare i say the w word my ladies

 **totally not a furry:** Whore?

 **shark week:** NOT THAT ONE GUNDHAMSJHF DJSHFJDFE,,EREG

 **mama-hiru:** IM DEAD BYE

 **hajimeme:** *gundham voice* Whore

 **ryotAH:** SDJSFDSHGJFDHGHJAJADLS

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** (hiyoko voice) cut the cameras, deadass

 **minion gijinka:** I

 **teru fried chicken:** WHIPPED

 **teru fried chicken:** I MEANT WHIPPED

 **teru fried chicken:** BUT THAT WORKS

 **teru fried chicken:** i guess? ? ?

 **totally not a furry:** Right. Of course.

 **totally not a furry:** My apologies.

 **shark week:** U DONT EVEN LOOK APOLOGETIC LMAODSFDSKGJDG

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:**...how would you know that

 **shark week:** why would i tell u

 **ryotAH:** is there something we should know or

 **minion gijinka:** thats MY line asswipe

 **ryotAH:** shut the fuck up banana looking bitch im asking a question

 **minion gijinka:** WHAT did you just call me

 **minion gijinka:** mitarai ryota you are ON SIGHT

 **ryotAH:** i dont give a fuck. try me, my instant noodles diet and my two hours of sleep

 **mama-hiru:** ISNT THAT A BAD THING??? THATS. THATS A BAD THING

 **ryotAH:** sorry but for each hour of sleep i lack, is just adding to the likeliness of me committing atrocities and transgressions against god

 **mama-hiru:** thats. thats not a good thing either

 **minion gijinka:** mahiru stop letting ur maternal instincts take over im tryna cut a bitch

 **ryotAH:** SILENCE

 **boss baby timeskip:** guys

 **boss baby timeskip:** can yall stfu for a sec i got smthn to say

 **boss baby timeskip:** you guys know that piercing incident w asahina from 78 4 days ago right

 **boss baby timeskip:** kaz here, the fucking idiot, decided he wanted piercings too without asking help from mioda like a dumbass

 **shark week:** IT WAS A CRUCIAL, LIFE CHANGING DECISION THAT MIGHT BECOME THE DECIDING FACTOR OF MY OUTWARD IMAGE YOU KNOW

 **boss baby timeskip:** THAT YOU DIDNT THINK THROUGH ENOUGH. SCREWS FOR BRAINS

 **boss baby timeskip:** THAT SHIT COULD GET INFECTED YOU KNOW

 **shark week:** aaaaaa sorry

 **shark week:** :(

 **boss baby timeskip:** anyway

 **boss baby timeskip:** what im saying is we need solution to clean some piercings bc he did it himself and im asking if anyone here has some

 **boss baby timeskip:** bc like. mioda hasnt had anything pierced in a while so she probably doesnt have any

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** HOW???? DID HE DO IT ON HIS OWN???

 **boss baby timeskip:** watched shit on youtube and didnt do stuff accurately :/

 **shark week:** look i just wanted to impress someone ok D: im sorry for making u worry ;-; gundham and nekomaru were here to cheer me on for like. moral support hjshfdjshf

 **totally not a furry:** Ah, I wish we would’ve stopped him if we knew it would end up like this. We’re sorry.

 **COACH!:** WE’RE SORRY KUZURYU-KUN!!!

 **boss baby timeskip:** i wasnt worried fucker

 **stab me daddy:** he was.

 **boss baby timeskip:** SHUT UP PEKOSADSJFHJS DFMAK

 **boss baby timeskip:** also u 2 don’t need to apologize ffs its fine

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** @shark week @boss baby timeskip ibuki actually has some fuyuhiko-chan!! bought recently from the nearby pharmacy, because ibuki just got a belly ring yesterday :D

 **mama-hiru:** wait what

 **mama-hiru:** im surprised at the fact that you DIDN’T have a belly ring?

 **ryotAH:** ^!!!!!!!

 **ryotAH:** yeah!!!

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** aaaaaaah ibuki gets what you mean!!!

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** but ibuki isn’t rich you know!! ive been wanting one for ages!!! i was earning for it through gigs for a few months now!!

 **stab me daddy:** y

 **stab me daddy:** you got a belly ring

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** yeah!!!! :D

 **stab me daddy:** sned oic

 **stab me daddy:** send pic

 **shark week:** PEKOYAMA HAHAHAHDGSHFGSHF

 **minion gijinka:** HAHAHAHDHDHDB HORNY ALERT BITCH IMSBDBBFLS

 **mama-hiru:** PEKO YOU /DOG/

 **boss baby timeskip:** getting way too excited there for being *just* a friend huh

 **stab me daddy:** i want a reference picture because i'm thinking of getting one as well

 **stab me daddy:** right.

 **stab me daddy:** that’s it

 **boss baby timeskip:**.

 **shark week:** WHATDSKIFHJDSIHFG?!??#?$?$

 **ryotAH:** WAIT PEKOYAMA FR???? FOR FUCKING REAL?????

 **mama-hiru:**?!?@?@????!?!!!!!

 ***breathes in* *screams*:**!!!!!!

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** really peko-peko??? ibuki didn’t think you’d be the type to want a piercing?? or a belly ring actually!!!! :D

 **boss baby timeskip:** yeah me neither :) its like she just said the first thing that came to her mind when it registered the Gay and now shes wishing that shes dead :)

 **ryotAH:** FUYUHIKOSIHDSHF IM DEADHASJDHSJHF

 **minion gijinka:** peko be like *panicking in front of her phone*

 **stab me daddy:** all of you shut up

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** :’’D

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** well, if you’re really, really interested ibuki can take you there some time!!! you're of age already anyway!!

 **stab me daddy:** n

 **shark week:** YOOOO SHE’S RIGHT OMG

 **stab me daddy:**.

 **mama-hiru:** PEKO BELLY RING PEKO BELLY RING PEKO B

 **shark week:** PEKOYAMA GO GET UR BELLY RING GO GO GO

 **minion gijinka:** dont tell us ur getting cold feet pekoyama

 **boss baby timeskip:** its not like she just wanted to see mioda’s new piercing and now she’s dug her grave or something right hahahahaha

 **stab me daddy:** im going

 **boss baby timeskip:** WH

 **boss baby timeskip:** WAIT WAIT

 **boss baby timeskip:** R U SERIOUS WHAT

 **shark week:** BYEEHAJD?@?#>?$>$>@?!!!

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** yay!!! go to ibuki’s room so we can sort out the details!! okay peko-peko??? :DDD

 **minion gijinka:** I AM CRYING LITERAL TEARS JDSHFSJFH

 **boss baby timeskip:** FOR REAL??? NO BALLS???

 **ryotAH:** HAVE FUN WITH YOUR DATE YOU FUNKY HOMOSEXUALS

 **minion gijinka:** if ur gonna bang each other at least keep it quiet this time

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** we’re not dating!!

 **stab me daddy:** we’re not dating.

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** and we’re not banging :)

 **stab me daddy:** we’re not banging.

 **minion gijinka:** CAN YOU BOTH STOP DOING THAT I H ATE IT HERE

 **boss baby timeskip:** I’M SICK

 **boss baby timeskip:** I’M FUCKING SICK

 **ryotAH:** if i ever end up at life support im telling the doctors thats its both ur fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> minor kuzusoda was for a friend <3 i hope ur doing great king
> 
> anyway ndrv3 chapters next
> 
> initially i planned the v3 ships w kaemaki and saimota but hhhhhh kirukae,,,, irumatsu,,,, GIRLS,,,, you guys can comment down what you would like to see if u want!!! im,,,, indecisive,,,,


	5. just saw oomf at a lesbian bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **c sharp b gay:** i will deck all 4 ft of you ouma kokichi
> 
>  **cockitchy:** EXUCSEL 😭😭E,,,, ME,,,,, 4 FT,,,DSFSK😭F,,,,, IM NOT,,, ,S😭THAT SHORT WAAA,A,,,A,A,,,😭

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, crying and writing three girls crushing on kaede: u deserve it u funky lil lesbian
> 
> i was so tempted to go for tenkaede bc I read this one fanfic and got super emo buthjahsjas tenmiko…. good…… but not in this chapter haha
> 
> neways as an art major who enjoys studying the humanities, politics and the like can i just say that i adore kiyo’s talent,,,,shsl anthropologist and anthropology,,, gosh culture?? and people?? i SOAK that shit in lectures (pain) so in future chapters im just gonna make him a non-incestuous chill goth man who rambles when given the chance. also angie and gonta bc they deserve it. angie, kiyo and gonta appreciation hours babey 
> 
> also. miu and kokichi are probably their own warning

**haha 69**

**[12:17 AM]**

**c sharp b gay:** yall ik its like 12 but

 **c sharp b gay:** guys :/

 **c sharp b gay:** just saw oomf at a lesbian bar

 **does she listen to girl in red:** akamatsu-san???? what r u doing outside at midnight???? that’s dangerous??? do you need tenko to go outside?? some degenerates might take advantage of you???

 **c sharp b gay:** aaaa im glad you’re worried for me but don’t worry!! kirumi and kiyo are with me

 **does she listen to girl in red:** oh tojo-san is with you?? that’s good to know!!! feel free to ping or dm tenko if you’re in trouble :D

 **c sharp b gay:** thank you chabashira-san!

 **rantaro shake:** tenko be like

girl: a

tenko: ??? i will?? protect and love you???

 **plainjane:** did tenko just plainly gloss over the bar and korekiyo lmao

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** DAMN WHOS OOMF BAKAMATSU

 **3 ft catboy:** bruh moment

 **rantaro shake:** @c sharp b gay WHO ????

 **cockitchy:** shut up u cunts the lesbian is speaking

 **cockitchy:** anyway

 **cockitchy:** whos oomf kaechan 👀 👀 👀 👀

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** I

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** First of all,

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** question

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** What are you doing at. a lesbian bar. at midnight

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** kissing girls obviously??? shittyhara ur so slow

 **cockitchy:** for once i agree w the whore <3

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** shut the fuck up limp dick <3

 **cockitchy:** ok but use your wittle brain shumai ://// she’s picking up girls with her harem protagonist genes ofc?? wtf do u think shes doing

 **plainjane:** yeah she has like maxed out social stats saihara-kun :/

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** W. WH

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** not saying virgin cowtits is better than me but pissbaby is right in saying that kaebabe was probably getting some action ykno 😋😋😋

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** also i mean shes got nice looks i guess anyone would like her 😑 not that that makes her better than the gorgeous girl genius or anything

 **cockitchy:** im sorry im going to be nice for once but do u need to talk or

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** what the fuck does that mean dick cheese

* * *

**Iruma Miu > Ouma Kokichi**

**[12:23 AM]**

**Miu:** that was a yes but not now shrimp dick

 **Kokichi:** ….omygod of all people to fall for

 **Miu:** SHUT UP SHUT UP LATER YOU FUCKING LOSER

**Kokichi: 🤩😳🤩😳🤩😳🤩**

* * *

**haha 69**

**[12:24 AM]**

**3 ft catboy:** i think the question you’re supposed to ask is how she, tojo, shinguji and oomf were in there if they arent of age in the first place

 **die:** ^

 **rantaro shake:** YEAH DON’T THEY HAVE AGE REQUIREMENTS????

 **plainjane:** 18 to 21 depending on the place iirc

 **cockitchy:** OH MY GOSH THEY’RE RIGHT KAECHAN 🤬🤬 UR SO SNEAKY UR SUCH A LAWBREAKERRRR 🤬🤬

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** HELL YEAH FUCK THE LAW BABYYYY UR DOING GREAT KAEGAY

 **c sharp b gay:** SHUT UP GUYS I WASNT *IN* THE BAR OHM Y GOD

 **c sharp b gay:** WE’RE JUST OUTSIDE AT THE CONVENIENCE STORE ACROSS FROM IT

 **cockitchy:** ok but did u guys go in the bar or

 **c sharp b gay:** NO OF COURSE NOT WHAT

 **cockitchy:** WAAAAA INTERNALISED HOMOPHOBIA?!!?!?!?? KAECHAN IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANNA TELL US ????!??!

 **c sharp b gay:** WE’RE MINORS WE CANT GO IN THERE WHAT

 **c sharp b gay:** also ive literally been out for like a year shut up kokichi you know this

 **cockitchy:** maybe u couldve faked an ID uwu

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** lol bakamatsu u got some nerve fr

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** She WONT do that im

 **die:** ^

 **die:** no offense, but akamatsu gives me the impression of someone preferring to choke on water than do something remotely illegal.

 **c sharp b gay:** i

 **c sharp b gay:** well i mean i,, guess

 **c sharp b gay:**???? idk what u mean

 **cockitchy:** she’s telling u that ur too nice kaegay ://// what??? r u so distracted by her beautiful red eyes that u cant think straight hehehe uwu owo

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** haha straight

 **rantaro shake:** haha straight

 **die:** what

 **c sharp b gay:** i will deck all 4 ft of you ouma kokichi

 **cockitchy:** EXUCSEL 😭😭E,,,, ME,,,,, 4 FT,,,DSFSK😭F,,,,, IM NOT,,, ,S😭THAT SHORT WAAA,A,,,A,A,,,😭

 **rantaro shake:** oh my god you’re fucking crytyping

 **c sharp b gay:** oh sorry kichi i meant 3 ft

 **c sharp b gay:** no offense to u hoshi ur a king

 **3 ft catboy:** nah lol dw its chill

 **cockitchy:** WAAAAA 😭 RUDE IM ACTUALLY 6 FEET TALL KAECHAN 🤧 UR SO MEAN 2 ME 🤧🤧🤧🤧

 **buzz lightyear:** um hi

 **buzz lightyear:** can I ask a question???

 **cockitchy:** no </3

 **c sharp b gay:** go ahead momota-kun!!

 **cockitchy:** D: D: D:

 **buzz lightyear:** we’ve only been in this class for about. a few months so this might??? Be rude to ask??? but what is like. up w you two why are you both so close XD

 **rantaro shake:** did. did you just use XD unironically

 **plainjane:** fucking normie

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** SHITTYGANEJDHSJHFDJHF

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** wait holy fucking shit

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** is momota our token straight boy

 **buzz lightyear:** EXCUSE YOU IM BI

 **rantaro shake:** i think im going to jump off a cliff

 **c sharp b gay:** oh!! well ignoring amami-kun and miu for a moment

 **die:** lol

 **c sharp b gay:** im thinking of a way to phrase it in a short way

 **cockitchy:** ill answer for u kaechan <3

 **cockitchy:** she and i r lovey dovey purely romantic soulmates from the previous century dramatically torn apart by war and famine D: we reincarnated into newer bodies and found each other again duh!!! ur so stupid kaithoe :>

 **c sharp b gay:** that’s. that’s not it at all

 **buzz lightyear:** GRRR SHUT UP OUMA I WILL PUNT YOU

 **plainjane:** did you just type out a growl. wwhat the fuck

 **rantaro shake:** every time kaito talks on here the more i get utterly confused by every fragment of his existence

 **3 ft catboy:** i hate this class

 **c sharp b gay:** SO ANYWAYS @buzz lightyear to answer your question

 **c sharp b gay:** he, shuichi and i went to the same middle school ^^

 **buzz lightyear:** oh ok! :D thank you !!

 **cockitchy:** UGH KAECHAN UR RUINING MY VIBE HERE 😤😤😤

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** All i do is mediate them because i really have no idea what is happening with us half of the time

 **c sharp b gay:** dont worry shu we also love you :D

 **cockitchy:** dont put words in my mouth and speak for me kayaygay 🤬🤬 he has to kiss me and break the curse of the enchanted forest first to prove that he’s worthy of my love 😿

 **buzz lightyear:** XD

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** See what i mean

 **3 ft catboy:** oh mood saihara

 **die:** so you’re basically handling children? i get it.

 **buzz lightyear:** why do i feel offended

 **die:** take a guess.

 **buzz lightyear:** harumaki :’(

 **cockitchy:** WAAAAAH 😭😭😭😭 HARUKAWA-CHAN UR SO MEAN 😭😭 GOSH I HATE YOUUU </3333333

 **die:** good to know we’re on the same page then.

 **c sharp b gay:** harukawa-san :(

 **die:** whatever

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** whipped

 **die:** i'll fucking strangle you

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** EEEEEEEEE!! 😳 IM SSO SORRY!!! 😁😁 SKJDISDFHDG P-PLEASE PUNISH ME 👅🤤👅 IM SO SSORRY FOR BBEING B-BAD!!! 🤤😫 JDFUHFDHFAXKE!! 😫😫

 **die:**.

 **c sharp b gay:** miu i

 **c sharp b gay:** miu if you type out another stutter through text you will shorten my life expectancy

 **c sharp b gay:** good god

 **die:** i wish i was placed in another class

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** MOVING ON

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** hate,,,, i mean if its towards kokichi i think its justified

 **cockitchy:** wha

 **cockitchy:** SHUMAI YOU TRAITOR HOW COULD YOU 😡

 **cockitchy:** CHOOSING A STRANGER OVER THE JUICY, FAT ASS OF THE SEXY OUMA KOKICHI???

 **cockitchy:** this is not funny. delete this or my organization will be in contact

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** u dumbfuck not to call u out for being delusional but ur crusty ass is flatter than a fucking ironing board

 **cockitchy:** YOURS IS FLATTER KISS MY ASS FUCKING BITCH WHORE

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** EW EWW NO I AINT KISSING THAT ROTTEN SHIT

 **c sharp b gay:** can you guys not rn oh my god argue at morning or something

 **die:** can they just not do it at all

 **c sharp b gay:** ://// now harukawa-san that’s just wishful thinking :///

 **die:** nvm

 **rantaro shake:** ok but how did this conversation go from akamatsu seeing someone we know at a lesbian bar to ouma’s ass

 **cockitchy:** its in demand amami-chan <333333 some of u cant simply resist <333333 why??? u want a piece??? uwu owo

 **rantaro shake:** im

 **3 ft catboy:** ouma i cant stand you

 **plainjane:** that goes without saying lol

 **cockitchy:** D: D: KAECHAN THEYRE BEING MEAN 2 ME WAAAAAHHHHH

 **c sharp b gay:** let me buy kiyo and kirumi some snacks first kokichi ^^

 **cockitchy:** UR JUST GONNA LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE??? RUDE??

 **cockitchy:** SHUUUUUMAIIIIIIII

 **cockitchy:** SHUUUU

 **cockitchy:** @angry. #death #i want you dieded

 **cockitchy:** @angry. #death #i want you dieded

 **cockitchy:** @angry. #death #i want you dieded

 **cockitchy:** @angry. #death #i want you dieded

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** IM ONLINE KOKICHI STOP PINGING ME

 **cockitchy:** kaechan abandoned me 😭😭 pls defend my honor shu 😭😭

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** No

 **rantaro shake:** HAHAHASHGAHDGSHGFLD

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** GET FUCKED

 **buzz lightyear:** XDDDD

 **cockitchy:** ugh ur both so lame 🙄 for not helping me ur breaking my fragile heart 👎👎

 **3 ft catboy:** why did i decide to be friends with you people again

 **die:** you had no other choice

 **rantaro shake:** that’s……. ominous……. harukawa………. what

 **buzz lightyear:** harumaki lmao ur scaring them

 **die:** perish then

 **rantaro shake:** wh

 **buzz lightyear:** :(

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** I think it’s best if you all go to sleep, as the classes for tomorrow can be a bit demanding.

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** I only went out with Shinguji-san and Akamatsu-san because she couldn’t sleep and stay still, and taking the two only conscious people in the common room for a midnight snack at the nearest convenience store was the first thing she thought of to deal with it.

 **c sharp b gay:** sorry for being impulsive aaahh its just a thing both and chabashira-san and i have in common :((( not much people can relate,,, i cant help it at all

 **does she listen to girl in red:** tenko can confirm!!!

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** I know exactly what it is, Akamatsu-san. It’s alright, and I would have offered regardless. I was in the mood for a walk anyways, and going with you and another person was the perfect opportunity.

 **c sharp b gay:** as a friend??? and not a maid right???? :DDDD????

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** …as a friend.

 **c sharp b gay:** yay!! <3!!!

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** <3

 **cockitchy:** gay

 **rantaro shake:** omy god y yall cute holy shit

 **3 ft catboy:** shsl girl magnet akamatsu kaede

 **c sharp b gay:** u too shinguji-kun!! thank u for letting me bother u!!! @kork

 **cockitchy:** WAAAAA STOP IGNORING ME KAECHAN 😭😭😭😭

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Lol

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** UGH SHES SO BRIGHT I CANT SEE SHIT

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** Right.

 **die:**.

 **does she listen to girl in red:** AKAMATSU-SAN STOP STEALING MY SPOTTTT

 **c sharp b gay:**????

 **plainjane:** and in typical romcom protagonist fashion, all the hints,,,, it all flies over her head. they really gave her the oblivious trait huh,.,.,. sigh

 **buzz lightyear:** i didn’t understand a single word in that sentence

 **rantaro shake:** what the fuck tsumugi

 **cockitchy:** ugh kaechan turn down ur charm stats its so unfair

 **3 ft catboy:** im so confused by literally each and every one of you people

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** I would say im sorry but we all know they really are… not

 **cockitchy:** good to know ur using that lil coconut head of yours shumai ;P

 **kork:** @c sharp b gay Of course Akamatsu-san. ADHD has come up along with other similar things in my field of study, and helping you is in no way, shape or form a bother.

 **kork:** And as Tojo-san said, a walk is nice sometimes.

 **c sharp b gay:** aahhh really ;0; thank you thank you shinguji-kun!!!

 **does she listen to girl in red:** tenko hates admitting this but her respect for you has gone up a bit!!

 **rantaro shake:** WHOA tenko just complimented you whatajdhsjdh

 **buzz lightyear:** that’s like!!! a big achievement shinguji!!!

 **does she listen to girl in red:** dont let it get to your heads, you’re still degenerates!!

 **does she listen to girl in red:** (i mean this in a friend way ok djshdfjshf)

 **c sharp b gay:** :D

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** im going to fucking sleep i cant take this anymore

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** As am I. That goes the same for everyone else online.

 **die:** it’s almost 1 anyway

 **cockitchy:** harukawa-chan b like too gay too much im going to sleep if off

 **die:** i will end your bloodline

 **cockitchy:** im gay anyway

 **cockitchy:** the bloodline pretty much dies w me

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** FUCK YEAHHH LOUDERRR

 **rantaro shake:** JSHJAHDJSAHFKSDSFFJK 

**does she listen to girl in red:**!!!!!!

 **kork:** I think it would be best if we follow Tojo-san’s advice and sleep. We both have math and sciences in the morning.

 **c sharp b gay:** my weakness……

 **rantaro shake:** W HAT

 **3 ft catboy:** ew

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** unlike u cucks thats not even a problem for me 👅👅

 **c sharp b gay:** we get it miu ur smart and pretty but he still has a point,,, sleep

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** 0-!?#)<>11!2#&&)%+?

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** SJ!?#>^!?KA3546@(*#!@?#ngn

 **cockitchy:** WOW KAECHAN U JUST BROKE HER

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Need me a freak like that

 **c sharp b gay:** SHUICHIDSHFDJHGJS,E!>@?#?!??

 **rantaro shake:** BROSA@>#>#>m!)@))??

 **buzz lightyear:** what does that mean bro XDD

 **cockitchy:** i

 **die:**.

 **3 ft catboy:** I HATE YOU GUYS

 **rantaro shake:** i mean,,, in his defense if a hot guy w the looks of a runway model said that to me i would break down too lmao

 **plainjane:** ok bi disaster

 **rantaro shake:** This slander will be going to my lawyers, Shirogane Tsumugi. You will pay for your crimes and slights dearly. – yours truly, Amami Rantaro

 **plainjane:** OwO

 **rantaro shake:** DIE

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** I can’t exactly dictate or force everyone here to have better sleeping schedules, but it isn’t healthy to stay up for this long.

 **rantaro shake:** skajdsjffjd we’re sorry i'm going out now

 **plainjane:** same! or maybe i'll bingewatch a few episodes before that i guess…

 **cockitchy:** good night gays

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** It’s technically morning

 **cockitchy:** good night gays

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded** Any hour past 12AM counts as morning

 **cockitchy:** good night gays

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Never mind

* * *

**✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* My Awesome Wingwomen! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧**

**[6:10 AM]**

**Luminary of the Stars:** AKAMATSUUUUU-SAAAAAANNNN

 **Luminary of the Stars:** Kaede D:

 **Luminary of the Stars:** :((((

 **Luminary of the Stars:** @eagle one @eagle one @eagle one

 **Luminary of the Stars:** @eagle one @eagle one @eagle one

 **Luminary of the Stars:** @eagle one @eagle one @eagle one

 **eagle one:** momota-kun i was brushing my teeth omgdkshfjdh pls

 **Luminary of the Stars:** oh sorry XD

 **eagle one:** why didnt u tag harukawa-san btw

 **Luminary of the Stars:** she will murder me if i disturb her sleeping

 **eagle one:** fair

 **Luminary of the Stars:** okay but D: do you think sidekick will like the coffee i bought for him

 **eagle one:** momota-kun we talk about this EVERY MORNING oh my god

 **eagle one:** you go out of your way to do these little things for him like waking up early and bringing coffee for him in the morning,, its cute ok he likes it when you do that

 **Luminary of the Stars:** its bc the coffee brands in this school sucks :/

 **eagle one:** yeah lol ikr

 **eagle one:** anyways what im saying is you dont need to worry!!

 **Luminary of the Stars:** but what if he wanted another flavor or something ???!?!?

 **eagle one:** shu might seem timid but he absolutely knows when to speak up :/ you know this. and if you ask kokichi and i we will tell you the same thing ^^ he’ll let you know if he wanted something else ok

 **Luminary of the Stars:** yeah you’re right :D

 **eagle two:** why does he do this every goddamn morning

 **Luminary of the Stars:** harumaki :(

 **eagle one:** good morning!! @eagle two

 **eagle one:** also he’s in love harukawa-san it just how it be

 **Luminary of the Stars:** IM NOTZDSAJHFJSAS

 **Luminary of the Stars:** love is too strong but like,,, I rlly like him jdshds

 **eagle one:** momota-kun punching the air rn

 **Luminary of the Stars:** STFU DDDX

 **Luminary of the Stars:** also u can call me kaito :D and maybe harumaki by her first name too ykno

 **eagle two:** no

 **Luminary of the Stars:** :(

 **Luminary of the Stars:** play nice

 **eagle two:** maki’s fine I guess

 **eagle one:** ok!!!!! <3

 **Luminary of the Stars:** <3

 **Luminary of the Stars:** harumaki send a heart :D

 **eagle two:** no

 **Luminary of the Stars:** aight nvm i'll just get you to do it soon >:D

 **Luminary of the Stars:** GUYS OMG HE’S HERE WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO

 **eagle one:** ACT AS YOU NORMALLY DO???

 **eagle two:** ^

 **Luminary of the Stars:** BUT IM FEELING RLLY RESTLESS AHSAGDHS I WANNA IMPRESS HIM

 **eagle one:** pls don’t do something stupid omg

 **eagle two:** that’s not something you say to him of all people.

 **eagle one:** i

 **eagle one** : I,,, yeah I guess

 **Luminary of the Stars:** RUDE

 **Luminary of the Stars:** AAAAAH HE SMILED AT ME AND HE’S LINING UP AT THE QUEUE TO GET BREAKFAST I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO HELP HELP HELP

 **eagle one:** JUST ACT NORMAL SJHDJHSJFH KAITO-KUN JSDSJHFJSDF

 **Luminary of the Stars:** momota kaito, ultimate astronaut, panicking over his awesome sidekick w only a glass of water and one (1) banana

 **Luminary of the Stars:** oh to be momota kaito from a month ago. blissfully unaware of his feelings

 **eagle one:** um. i. are you LIVETWEETING

 **Luminary of the Stars:** SHUT UP LET ME HAVE THIS

 **eagle two:** this is a wild bi dork in his natural habitat, it catches the attention of potential partners with its gelled mane and loud mating calls, then ensnares them in a strategy called ‘fetching coffee for my bro’ which is the process of flustering saihara shuichi with concern and sincerity

 **eagle one:** MAKISJIHFDSJUFHD,W2/?@?!?@#

 **Luminary of the Stars:** first of all OUCH

 **Luminary of the Stars:** and second

 **Luminary of the Stars:** HARUMAKI YOU’RE USING YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR!!!! IT HASN’T BEEN USED SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL IM SO PROUD OF YOU XD <33333

 **eagle one:** lol

 **eagle two:** do you want to die

 **Luminary of the Stars:** ANYWAYYYY

 **Luminary of the Stars:** HE’S STILL IN THE LINE BUT I WAVED AT HIM AND HE WAVED BACK FUCKKK HE’S SO CUTESFJSSAHDJSHFRDSJT

 **eagle one:** im sorry but you just sound like chabashira-san now when she’s ranting to me about yumeno-san shdjshfjdtks

 **Luminary of the Stars:** SAJDJHSJF

 **eagle two:** you are so annoying

 **eagle one:** aw :( but maki-san he’s not that bad!!! kaito-kun’s just like a guy version of me :D

 **Luminary of the Stars:** yeah!! :D

 **eagle two:** exactly.

 **eagle one:** D:

 **Luminary of the Stars:** D:

 **Luminary of the Stars:** but you wuv us

 **eagle one:** you wuv us

 **eagle two:** die

**Luminary of the Stars activated voice-to-text speech**

**eagle two:**?

 **eagle one:** oh my god what are you doing

 **Luminary of the Stars:** guys im going to do something incredibly stupid or hot depending on what sexual orientation you are

 **eagle two:** so stupid?

 **eagle one:** kaito-kun???

 **Luminary of the Stars:** shu is almost at the end of the queue

 **eagle one:** and???

 **Luminary of the Stars:** so what im going to do is deepthroat this banana

 **eagle one:** YOURE GOING TO WHATAY36!?#?$_(@(!??

 **eagle two:** what

 **eagle two:** the fuck,

 **eagle one:** HO DON’T DO IT

 **eagle one:** ARE YOU JOKING PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE JOKING SIJDFSIHRFEJN5???!/2

 **Luminary of the Stars:** its not a joke its supposed to be sexy trust me

 **eagle one:** NO ITS NOT????

 **eagle one:** STOP STOPPPP ITS NOTTT

 **eagle two:** you’re so fucking stupid.

 **Luminary of the Stars:** hes looking at me i must do what has to be done

 **eagle one:** NO.

 **eagle one:** NO NO NO NO

 **eagle two:** kaito, you’re one of the only people i trust in this hellhole, so please listen to me when i say that you do not, for the love of god, deepthroat the fucking banana.

 **Luminary of the Stars:** too late

 **eagle one:** KAITO-KUN

 **eagle one:** NO NO NOOOOO LAEDKSAJREWK5

**Luminary of the Stars deactivated voice-to-text speech**

**eagle one:** oh my god

 **eagle one:** HE’S FUCKING DEAD

 **eagle two:** he’s not. trust me.

 **eagle one:** WHAT DID YOU DO!AP@(*##!???

 **Luminary of the Stars:** SHE APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE AND KICKED ME BEFORE I COULD START MY PLAN DX SIKJHDSHFSJR

 **eagle one:** oh thank god

 **Luminary of the Stars:** kaede :(

 **eagle two:** it’s stupid

 **Luminary of the Stars:** maki D:

 **Luminary of the Stars:** ugh fine he’s here anyway :/ talk to u later guys

 **eagle two:** k

 **eagle two:** im going to jog for a bit.

 **eagle one:** can’t believe kaito-kun got cockblocked via brutal intervention

 **eagle one:** also!! @eagle two can i join u??? the weather this morning is really nice today and i wanna go out a bit before eating :D

 **eagle two:** sure

 **eagle one:** yay!! ty!!!

 **Luminary of the Stars:** u guys r so mean :’(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me projecting onto tenko and kaede be like: (laser eyes) OTL truly this fic is just me fulfilling my specific niches haha
> 
> so recap:  
> thh: hina gets earrings because she's a queen and they smuggle kyoko into celes' room like she's a sack of rice  
> sdr2: pekobuki shags, soniaki rights, and peko accidentally agrees to getting a belly ring  
> ndrv3: kaede sees oomf at a bar and,,,,, kaito attempts to deepthroat a banana
> 
> anyways,,, thanks for reading as usual!! my sense of humor is so stupid im sorryjdsrdetfh
> 
> edit: list of nicknames for v3 ensemble! (those who have appeared so far):  
> c sharp b gay - Kaede  
> angry. #death #i want you dieded - Shuichi  
> buzz lightyear - Kaito  
> die - Maki  
> cockitchy - ...Kokichi  
> does she listen to girl in red - Tenko  
> rantaro shake - Rantaro  
> plainjane - Tsumugi  
> gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy - Miu  
> 3 ft catboy - Ryoma  
> no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink - Kirumi  
> kork - Korekiyo
> 
> kaito's chat:  
> Luminary of the Stars - Kaito  
> eagle one - Kaede  
> eagle two - Maki


	6. leave not-so-little miu out of this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **cockitchy:** i keep forgetting ur actually smart u ugly fuckface
> 
>  **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** shut your mouth you greasy hemorrhoid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my back is so sore but not for the reasons i desire /s
> 
> also me writing this chapter: WOMEN,,,,, GIRLS,,, TENMIKO RIGHTS
> 
> sorry as a lesbian i have needs

**haha 69**

**[2:10 PM]**

**does she listen to girl in red:** amazing day to all women and nb pals tenko loves you and you are all perfect!! and to the degenerates,,,,,,, afternoon i guess

 **3 ft catboy:** lol

 **does she listen to girl in red:** anyway has tenko ever told yall iruma-san is so bad at flirting that its,,, actually recognizable

 **rantaro shake:** WAIT I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED

 **does she listen to girl in red:** pov: you’re iruma miu and you don’t know how to flirt

 **rantaro shake:** ayo virgin cowtits r u free today i wanna hear u playin those keys bc ur stuff is good i dont think youre cute when youre focused on the piano or anything ahaha x

 **cockitchy:** ayo bitchrukawa wanna go work out w me when ur not surrounded by these whiny cucks damn i dont think u would look hot when ur sweaty or anything ahaha x

 **plainjane:** ayo rumi ass can u go help me clean my lab after dinner or somethin bc its fuckin shitty as hell in there i dont think its sexc when ur being so diligent or anything ahaha x

 **rantaro shake:** USAHJDSAHRJDHGKG

 **plainjane:** LMFAOOAE9WRJDFFJDLS

 **3 ft catboy:** i can hear it in her voice oh god

 **does she listen to girl in red:** GOOD JOB EVERYONE TENKO THINKS U DID GREAT

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** i hate yall

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** you guys fucking SUCK

 **vincent van got to gogh:** nyahaha OwO but you SWALLOW

 **rantaro shake:** nice yonaga-san ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **cockitchy:** ayyy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **plainjane:** ayyy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **vincent van got to gogh:** ayyy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** to hell with ur study group yonaga i was fucking interested for once

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** well fuck you now i wont come

 **vincent van got to gogh:** you won’t come? kami-sama thinks you need to get that checked out

 **cockitchy:** ayyy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **vincent van got to gogh:** ayyy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **cockitchy:** yonaga-chan with the sick burns **🤩** **🤩**

 **plainjane:** ik u all wont listen to me bc im too plain but can we just save these jokes for when we turn 18 jsdfhdjgfjd

 **rantaro shake:** KSJAKHDJSAFNDJKGA@(*&#

 **3 ft catboy:** everyday i keep asking why im friends w yall

 **little witch academia:** god can you all keep it down

 **little witch academia:** you’re all so loud it’s too early -3-

 **rantaro shake:** …it’s 2 pm

 **little witch academia:** too early

 **plainjane:** valid

 **3 ft catboy:** mood

 **plainjane:** and she has a point tho. it's like,,, sunday. you can plainly monopolize the time for sleeping

 **rantaro shake:** i. yeah

 **does she listen to girl in red:** @little witch academia aaaahhh hiii good afternoon himiko!!! <3

 **little witch academia:** heyy you too tenko =w= <3

 **cockitchy:** gay

 **little witch academia:** it better be

 **does she listen to girl in red:** JAK@)#*$??!#()(#(&&%

 **cockitchy:** ayyyyy

 **plainjane:** ayyyyy

 **rantaro shake:** ayyyyy

 **3 ft catboy:** so we just going to ignore chabashira breaking down or

 **plainjane:** shes probably dming akamatsu already just leave it lol

 **rantaro shake:** damn straight

 **cockitchy:** *lesbian

 **rantaro shake:** shit. Sorry

 **rantaro shake:** damn lesbian

 **cockitchy:** uwu perfectoo **🤩** **🤩** **🤩** **🤩**

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** fucking really hate yall,, these hoes aint loyal

 **cockitchy:** or what??

 **cockitchy:** u gonna sicc that weird dildo on us or something??

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** you’re too fucking weak for it. asshole

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy** : leave not-so-little miu out of this

 **cockitchy:** im sowwy 😭😭😭😭 i change my mind dont sic not-so-little miu on us please 😭😭😭

 **rantaro shake:** WHY ARE YOU TWO LIKE THAT I SWEAR TO GODFSIDJFKJDKG

 **3 ft catboy:** fr fr

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** i hate him <3

 **cockitchy:** and i hate her <3

 **3 ft catboy:** ah yes. friendship

 **plainjane:** platonic soulmates 100k words

 **rantaro shake:** TSUMUGI SHUT UPSDJHSHFSJR

 **plainjane:** enemies-to-friends go to therapy 100k words

 **rantaro shake:** TSUMUGI

 **Keebs:** Is this a bad time?

 **3 ft catboy:** yes

 **cockitchy:** yes

 **rantaro shake:** yes

 **plainjane:** yes

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** yes

 **Keebs:** Oh.

 **Keebs:** I’m just here because Shinguji-san told me to remind everyone that he and Yonaga-san’s study group starts at 2:30 sharp. For those attending, you have eleven minutes left.

 **Keebs:** Please refer to the message Akamatsu-san pinned yesterday if you’re lost.

 **Keebs:** We’re studying cultural norms and practices of select Southeast Asian countries then comparing it to our own for Shinguji-san’s part, and Yonaga-san’s going to help us draw up some drafts for the biology homework.

 **rantaro shake:** hELLA yeah it’s the best for both homeworks

 **rantaro shake:** we got this in the bag guys

 **rantaro shake:** @Keebs @kork also btw im helping out ive been to some parts of indonesia, philippines and thailand so i can offer my two cents haha

 **Keebs:** Of course!

 **rantaro shake:** ty kiibo my man

 **kork:** Thank you, Amami-kun. That would be very helpful.

 **rantaro shake:** yw king

 **Keebs:** @everyone Can I ask who’s coming? Shinguji-san and Yonaga-san need to know how much of us they’re going to accommodate for today.

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Oh me and kokichi are coming!! Kaede did hers in advance because she has a recital coming up so she’s busy practicing

 **cockitchy:** yep yep shumai’s got it!!

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** i wont need help for the biology part bc drafting is already an important and necessary part of my skillset and shit :/ im still going bc of shingucci’s though 😋😋

 **cockitchy:** i keep forgetting ur actually smart u ugly fuckface

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** shut your mouth you greasy hemorrhoid

 **rantaro shake:** why do both of your insults get weirder and weirder each day i stg

 **plainjane:** really?? they’re kinda mild compared to what i've seen on anime discourse threads

 **rantaro shake:** where the FUCK have you BEEN then holy shit

 **Keebs:** Iruma-san, Shinguji-san told me that I tell you that he said, “please do not call me that ever again, Iruma-san.”

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** eat my ass vorekiyo

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** SJDHSJHFS

 **antman:** Gonta and Ryoma are coming too! Gonta has both homework done, but he just wants to spend time with everyone.

 **rantaro shake:** thats so cute jshdjshfjshfe we lov u too gonta-kun

 **antman:** :D

 **3 ft catboy:** im coming along so you idiots don’t pull anything stupid

 **plainjane:** ok that’s fair

 **plainjane:** also im not coming!! im already doing mine and its almost done! chabashira-san will though if i recall correctly

 **does she listen to girl in red:** yeah!! tenko usually does homework with akamatsu-san but she’s busy so :/

 **little witch academia:** i’m coming then -3- i’m confident i won’t be sleeping much on the spot if both tenks and angie are there to wake me up or stop me from doing so

 **does she listen to girl in red:** tenko will make sure of that!!

 **does she listen to girl in red:** but please tell tenko if she’s being invasive of your personal space!! she doesnt wanna make you uncomfortable shgdhsgfhgf

 **little witch academia:** okk =w=

 **does she listen to girl in red:** thank you!! <333

 **rantaro shake:** WOW YALL R SO CUTE

 **plainjane:** now if only some mfs here moved fucking faster like them

 **rantaro shake:** tsumugi djshfdjshfjhdfes

 **3 ft catboy:** fr tho

 **Keebs:** Correct me if I’m wrong, the ones that are coming are: Amami, Saihara, Ouma, Iruma, Gokuhara, Hoshi, Chabashira and Yumeno? Tojo-san will be there to provide everyone some snacks and refreshments, while the rest are unaccounted for, are busy, or have plans.

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** i think u got it down to a T keebs

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** also kirumommy’s there? 😳 hot 🤤🤤🤤

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** IRUMA>#**#&#@

 **3 ft catboy:** gay

 **cockitchy:** lets get going el gee bee tee,,, wait is kiiboy counted bc he’s,, u know uwu

 **Keebs:** This robophobia is unacceptable, Ouma-kun. I have screenshotted this dissent and sent to my legal executives. You will hear from them in the next 24 hours.

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** He’s joking kiibo dw hjdshfjdhf

 **cockitchy:** WAAAAA SHUMAIIII 😭😭 WHAT AM I GONNA DO CAN YOU ACT AS A LAWYER 😭😭

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** I… no??

 **cockitchy:** rest in pieces ouma kokichi you had such a good run :’(

 **cockitchy:** and you haven’t even drank all the panta you want yet ugh :’(

 **3 ft catboy:** lol

 **rantaro shake:** JHSJADJFHJSFDGJ

 **Keebs:** That aside, everyone please come down to the gardens. We’ll be starting soon!

 **Keebs:** Yonaga’s san’s already starting on some examples.

 **Keebs:** yonagaketching.jpeg

 **Keebs:** shingujisippingtea.jpeg

 **Keebs:** tojosayshi.jpeg

 **plainjane:** awwww

 **does she listen to girl in red:** omw!!

 **little witch academia:** im with her ^

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** also omw

 **antman:** Okay!

 **cockitchy:** LETS GOOOOO

 **rantaro shake:** LETS GOOOOO

* * *

**Yumeno Himiko > Akamatsu Kaede**

**[2:34 PM]**

**Himiko:** tenkokeepssendingmeheartsbye.jpeg

 **Himiko:** look i know you don’t expect me of all people in our class to pop in your dms but i need to talk to somebody about this and you were the best choice ok =//3//=

 **Himiko:** amami was also a choice since he likes to go ‘supportive brother’ mode on almost everyone here but =v= we studying rn

 **Himiko:** she’s so cute,,,,, im going to die from it someday,,,,,

 **Kaede:** ok i admit i was shocked at first when i saw your name pop up on my notifs justskjfskrfk awwww also. hi!!!

 **Kaede:** i think this is our first time talking to each other through DMs, yumeno-san :D

 **Himiko:** haha yeahhh

 **Himiko:** am i disturbing you tho

 **Kaede:** nope not at all!! i’m taking a break rn and watching maki-san run laps from my lab :D

 **Kaede:** im usually on a tight schedule esp when a recital is near but ill make an exception!!

 **Himiko:** you don’t need to do that -3-

 **Kaede:** no don’t worry i want to do this!! i need the distraction anyway sjhdfsjhfjdf sometimes i get far too focused on doing one thing and forget about literally everything around me

 **Kaede:** and the next thing you know either miu or kirumi-san is kicking down my door and forcing me to eat aksdjsfd i keep bothering them haha i think they don’t like me that much

 **Kaede:** at least maki-san’s nicer abt it and just knocks on my door and leaves food in front of it but still she prob thinks im annoying hhdjhf

 **Kaede:** wait am i rambling ahaha im sorryyyy

 **Himiko:** …oh my god tenko was right

 **Kaede:** huh???

 **Himiko:** nothing

 **Himiko:** anyways do u think im not trying hard enough for tenko

 **Himiko:** i dont get why she likes me when im lazy and quiet most of the time and she’s like. the human embodiment of a golden retriever =o=

 **Himiko:** i want to do something about it,, like confess or something

 **Kaede:** she likes you for your company, yumeno-san

 **Kaede:** and sometimes people will love people, it’s just how it is haha

 **Kaede:** and you can always do something about that last one!!

 **Himiko:** you think so?? 0-0

 **Kaede:** yeah!!

 **Kaede:** with what you do best ofc

 **Himiko:** how about like. a magic show??

 **Kaede:** that sounds amazing!!

 **Himiko:** im usually very confident w my ability and when im on stage but this one is different. this time im not performing in front of a crowd or for an audience

 **Himiko:** ive never performed for only one person before =o=

 **Himiko:** do you think she’ll like it hhh i'm getting nervous thinking about it

 **Kaede:** i think she’ll love it!! trust me yumeno-san!!

 **Himiko:** yeah. yeah i'll try =w=

 **Himiko:** maybe around two weeks. on sunday night. i got to give it my best -3-

 **Kaede:** yay!! good luck!! i'll be rooting for you!!

 **Himiko:** haha yeah. thanks for listening akamatsu =3=

 **Himiko:** i’ll cast a spell to make sure your recital goes well next weekend

 **Kaede:** thank you so much :D

 **Kaede:** also you can call me kaede you know!! i dont mind, we’re friends now!!

 **Himiko:** hehe if you say so =v=

 **Kaede:** <3!!

* * *

**haha 69**

**[3:29 AM]**

**c sharp b gay:** thinking hours

 **c sharp b gay:** hngngnnghhgggg

**c sharp b gay activated voice-to-text speech**

**c sharp b gay:** i love the way she sounds

 **c sharp b gay:** i love the way she sings

 **c sharp b gay:** i love her form

 **c sharp b gay:** god im so in love

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** KAEDE????

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** ITS 3 AM

 **rantaro shake:** WAS THIS MEANT FOR DMS AKAMATSU WHAT

 **kork:** Why are you all awake?

 **c sharp b gay:** i love her so much

 **c sharp b gay:** shes unlike anything i’ve ever seen before

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** mind sharing to the class who the fuck ur talking abt cowtits??

 **cockitchy:** UH OH ITS HAPPENING 🤬🤬 AAAAAAHHH ITS HAPPENING PEOPLE 🤧🤧

 **buzz lightyear:** im scared

 **little witch academia:** are we going to die today: wheel of fortune

 **die:** @c sharp b gay ??

 **rantaro shake:** OH GOD OH FUCK

 **plainjane:** @angry. #death #i want you dieded @cockitchy REEL IN UR FRIEND BEFORE IRUMA AND HARUKAWA KILL SOME POOR BITCH

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** I DON’T KNOW WHATS GOING ON

 **c sharp b gay:** sorry im just so in love

 **rantaro shake:** oh god oh fuck ph gods oh fuck she cant fucjking hear us she got airpods on oh god oh fucking god

 **vincent van got to gogh:** owo??? it’s got to be someone in this class right???

 **little witch academia:** ofc -3- i can’t think of anyone outside this class she’s very close to

 **c sharp b gay:** nope

 **little witch academia:** oh

 **rantaro shake:** O HDEAR GOD

 **plainjane:** OH NO NONO OH NO

 **vincent van got to gogh:** wait what in the kami-sama FUCK

 **3 ft catboy:** haha we’re dead

 **buzz lightyear:** IM SCARED

 **c sharp b gay:** she’s amazing

 **c sharp b gay:** im so in love with the way she sings

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** Ah? So a singer or musician in particular then? Maizono? Mioda?

 **kork:** If you hold that brush any tighter it’s going to break, Tojo-san.

 **c sharp b gay:** smooth sleek and shiny

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** NEWSFLASH BAKAMATSU I CAN BE SMOOTH, SLEEK AND SHINY TOO. EVEN FUCKING BETTER ACTUALLY

 **cockitchy:** HAHAHAAH?%)%(%(

 **rantaro shake:** IRUMA BYE IM DEADSJIFHJDISFRM4M

 **c sharp b gay:** love the way i touch her

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** hUH

 **die:** what.

 **plainjane:** i

 **cockitchy:** Hope’s Peak Academy’s Ultimate Child Caregiver Arrested On Account of Frustrated Homocide

 **cockitchy:** HOMOCIDE

 **cockitchy:** HOMIECIDE

 **cockitchy:** HOMPCIDE

 **cockitchy:** HOMICIDE FUCK

 **rantaro shake:** homocide

 **plainjane:** homocide

 **3 ft catboy:** homocide

 **vincent van got to gogh:** homocide

 **little witch academia:** homocide

 **buzz lightyear:** homocide

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** homocide

 **cockitchy:** WAAAAAA 😭😭 THIS IS LIBEL HOW DARE YOU GUYS 😭😭

 **c sharp b gay:** so in love with your streamlined curves

 **c sharp b gay:** so pretty so breathtaking

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** Who is it Akamatsu-san?

 **kork:** Oh, Tojo-san would you like tea? Some biscuits? Cookies or scones? I’ve spent enough time with everyone here to know what they like in the same way you do, come on. I know it’s very early in the morning, but you should relax. Don’t be shy

 **rantaro shake:** its no use kiyo shdjshhf

**c sharp b gay deactivated voice-to-text speech**

**c sharp b gay:** oh!! i didnt clarify i see haha sorry for waking you all up

 **c sharp b gay:** im talking about my bechstein ^^

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** HAHAHAHAHAGEHS#$&^$

 **cockitchy:**.

 **little witch academia:** who?

 **rantaro shake:** BECHSTEIN??? FOREIGNER GF????

 **plainjane:** WHO WHO WHO

 **c sharp b gay:** oh wait!! i'll send a pic of me leaning on her hold on!

 **buzz lightyear:** OH SHIT

 **buzz lightyear:** KAEDE HAS A FOREIGN GIRLFRIEND AND SHE DIDN’T TELL US XD

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** @c sharp b gay Who took the picture?

 **c sharp b gay:** shuichi-kun obviously did! ^^

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** …?

 **die:** what

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** why the fuck didnt u say anything pooichi

 **3 ft catboy:** yeah dude

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** NO GUYS PLEASE JUST WAIT FOR IT HAHAHASHFHDSF

 **cockitchy:** ITS NOT LIKE THAT AHAHAHHAHAHA,,, **🤩** **🤩** **🤩**

 **cockitchy:** OWO

 **cockitchy:** UWU

 **cockitchy:** OUO

 **cockitchy:** QVQ

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** STFU COCKICHI WHAT ELSE COULD IT FUCKING MEAN

 **c sharp b gay:** meandmybechsteinpiano.jpeg

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** wh

 **die:** oh.

 **die:**.

 **die:** i think. i'm going for a walk

 **die:** yeah. that’s right

 **die:** if anyone of you disturbs me, i'll kill you

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** Would you mind if I join? I won’t disturb you.

 **die:** sure whatever

 **rantaro shake:** HAHAHAHA#*&#*@?@??#)!@)#

 **buzz lightyear:** YOU CANT RUN FROM ALL YOUR PROBLEMS FOREVER GUYS XD

 **plainjane:** i-

 **plainjane:** i.

 **little witch academia:** =3= she was talking about her piano

 **3 ft catboy:** bruh

 **kork:** Tojo looks the most relieved I’ve seen her.

 **no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink:** It’s not nice to lie, Shinguji-san.

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** what the ever loving fuck

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** god fucking hell

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** i hate here

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** im going to take a fucking shower or something holy shit

 **cockitchy:** iruma miu breaks down on class 79’s groupchat at 3 am in the morning live at hope’s peak

 **c sharp b gay:**???????

 **vincent van got to gogh:** may kami-sama bless you akamatsu-san ^-^

 **little witch academia:** i’ll cast another spell to make sure you’re well rested tomorrow night akamatsu -w-

 **c sharp b gay:** what??

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Kaede as your best friend I love you but you are so,,,,asdnjshfjsf

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** I’m. FLOORED

 **cockitchy:** its nothing kaechan <3

 **c sharp b gay:** ok??

 **does she listen to girl in red:** tenko is sorry for her everyone!! lesbians are just like this!!

 **c sharp b gay:** HUH???

 **does she listen to girl in red:** it’s nothing trust tenko

 **c sharp b gay:** i. sure??

 **does she listen to girl in red:** go to sleep akamatsu-san if you know what’s good for you :)

 **c sharp b gay:** chabashira-san that smile emoji is scaring me haha

 **c sharp b gay:** AND OKAY BUT??? WHAT’S GOING ON???

 **little witch academia:** yeah listen to her kaede

 **c sharp b gay:** WHA

 **c sharp b gay:** ok ok im going to sleep im sorryreuyeyturhjtghg

 **cockitchy:**.

 **cockitchy:** awa

 **cockitchy:** ewe

 **cockitchy:** iwi

 **cockitchy:** owo

 **cockitchy:** uwu

 **cockitchy:** wew

 **cockitchy:** rip in pieces akamatsu kayaygay, you are so fucking stupid

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** We seriously need to talk to her soon skdjsfhjfh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so angie and kiyo get some time to shine bc fuck canon i dont fucking listen i cant hear this bitch haha try harder
> 
> more notes: kaede u r so stupid i love u djkfjdggjkhj and also. kaede/himiko friendship. HELL YEAHHHHHH LOOK AT THEM!! anyways,,, initially, the dm/conversation was gonna b between tenko and kaede, but kaede and himiko is rarely done so im like. FUCK IT
> 
> ok so idt i mentioned this before but maki still has the ultimate assassin talent but idk if ill make use of that,,, owo awa what will i do ahaha 👉👈 angst??? drama?? who knows bc i dont know either OTL (edit: nah shes still the caregiver and just works out a lot)
> 
> another rotation so next up is the original disasters: thh kids. thanks for reading as always haha
> 
> edit 2: new nicknames!  
> little witch academia - Himiko  
> Keebs - K1B0  
> vincent van got to gogh - Angie  
> antman - Gonta


	7. it came w ur fucking xbox togami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **discount miku:** dat ikusaba ass be nice
> 
>  **juncock emoshima:** BITCH THAT’S MY SISTER ILL KILL YOU&%R@^HSGHKER^#!?(!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> college: gives no classes for three days and counts it as a semester break which is supposedly bad
> 
> me, who’s only been getting 3-4 hours of sleep every day for the last 2 months: *crawling desperately into the bedsheets* oh god thank you jesus 
> 
> slowly and slowly questioning if this chatfic deserves the M rating or something jshfjdshgjdg

**Class Seventygay**

**[7:03 PM]**

**11037:** yooo halloween’s just right around the corner my dudes

 **11037:** yall got plans dressing up for it bc im down to match w whoever wants to hehe

 **my readings are accurate:** BET

 **my readings are accurate:** which reminds me

 **my readings are accurate:** @Taka heyy pls pls change my name to ghost hater

**Taka changed my readings are accurate’s nickname to ghost hater**

**ghost hater:** thenks :D

 **chihiro:** cant u just change it on ur own

 **ghost hater:** lazy

 **chihiro:** lol

 **Eggroll :D:** why didn’t you ping hina?? she’s admin too for whatever reason

 **ghost hater:** i dont trust her >:(

 **i get us into trouble:** HEY

 **i get us into trouble:** …i guess you’re right

 **Eggroll :D:** lol

 **Eggroll :D:** why is hina admin but kyoko isnt

 **chihiro:** huh,,,, thats actually a good point

 **i get us into trouble:** yall r so mean and for WHAT

 **11037:** oop back to my halloween question

 **11037:** @everyone r u guys gonna dress up or attend that halloween party headmaster kirigiri set up

 **chihiro:** u can do both tho??

 **11037:** oh yea i forgot

 **Taka:** I’ll both be dressing up and going to the party. Nothing too extravagant. The party is an optional thing, but Mondo and Chihiro have been encouraging me to loosen up more and they wanted me to go with them. Seems like it’s okay.

 **chihiro:** ngl im just happy you accepted in the first place lmao

 **vroom vroom:** yeah bro ^

 **i get us out of trouble:** hina and I are going. we already have plans for matching costumes and commissioned the ultimate tailor from 78B two months ago, if i remember correctly.

 **i get us into trouble:** sakura and i r going as pirates!! <33333

 **11037:** YO THATS SICK

 **11037:** also whoa thats early,, but i get it tho,,, halloween just hits different

 **Eggroll :D:** FOR REAL SPOOKY SEASON IS JUST DIFFERENT

 **Eggroll :D:** i'm trying to get kuya to dress up too but hghghghgngh it’s so hard to convince him!! its like last year all over again hsjhfdjhf

 **discount miku:** but he’s less of an asshole this year?? you probably have a chance? also he's like a big softie for u guys anyway. so u can do it!!

 **Eggroll :D:** i guess ;-; i'll keep talking to him haha

 **chihiro:** you guys talk as if he wont read this chat hadhsgfask

 **11037:** it’s obvious we don’t give a shit

 **chihiro:** OK FAIRRR

 **ghost hater:** you just gotta use the puppy eyes makoto HHAHAHHADGHSG

 **Eggroll :D:** puppy eyes??

 **ghost hater:** pfft nothing

 **chihiro:** @i get us out of trouble hey sakura why not the shirogane girl from 79A? her cosplays r rlly good

 **Kirigiri:** i believe it is already specified in her talent that she specializes on only making costumes for fictional characters, and it’s also stated in her commission sheet.

 **i get us out of trouble:** ^

 **chihiro:** ohhhh ok ty kiri

 **chihiro:** also r u going to dress up?? :o

 **Kirigiri:** makoto and the others insisted i get a costume, and i haven’t found any reasons to deny them, but it still escapes me what i would wear for it.

 **i get us into trouble:** SEXY VAMPIRE

 **Eggroll :D:** HINA I SWEAR TO GOD

 **11037:** HOMOSEXUALISM

 **junkrat emoshima:** bruh vampires have always been gay like damn,,, inherent homoeroticism of wall pinning and their entire existence u kno (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖) (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

 **11037:** U RITE U RITE

 **i get us into trouble:** KYOKO PLS GO AS A VAMPIRE IM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU I AM ON MY KNEES

 **i get us out of trouble:** yeah, she is.

 **Eggroll :D:** wait WHAT

 **i get us out of trouble:** hinabegging.jpeg

 **Eggroll :D:** oml sajdshfdhfjdhgf

 **Kirigiri:** i

 **chihiro:** AJHDJSHFHDGSJFKS

 **junkrat emoshima:** HAHA*@&*&@!( u just want to see her in pants or something

 **i get us into trouble:** BITCH PLEASE THAT’S THE ENTIRE POINT

 **junkrat emoshima:** YOU BEAUTIFUL, BRILLIANT WHOREJKSJFDKSHFJE

 **junkrat emoshima:** YOUR MIND

 **discount miku:** ok but what about: Fangs

 **i get us into trouble:** YEAAHAHHAHDHSA&@*@^&^#

 **junkrat emoshima:** now that’s just horny

 **junkrat emoshima:** sayaka u slut do u have a bite kink

 **discount miku:** w

 **discount miku:** NO???? WHAT ON EARTH GAVE YOU THAT IDEA FUCK YOU JAHDJSAHFSD

 **chihiro:** yo bro dont worry we dont kinkshame here bro

 **11037:** yeah bro its ok to admit u want black haired girls to bite u senseless bro

 **i get us into trouble:** idk bro seems pretty horny to me bro

 **junkrat emoshima:** yeah bro this looks really really horny to me now bro

 **discount miku:** I HATE IT HERE

 **11037:** well at least ikusaba isnt online yk lol

 **Eggroll :D:** you guys are aware kyoko’s still reading the chat right

 **Kirigiri:** i guess i'll keep it in mind?

 **i get us into trouble:** FUCKKKK YEAHHHHHH

 **junkrat emoshima:** CHEF’S KISS

 **ghost hater:** why do yall keep simping for a taken girl 

**junkrat emoshima: ‘** taken’ my asshole ion care if there’s sexual tension or something if i aint seeing them kissing in the hallways then nothing is set in stone

 **junkrat emoshima:** watch

 **junkrat emoshima:** ayo @Kirigiri my lovely lady r u free this sunday ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Kirigiri:** no…?

 **junkrat emoshima:** damn ://

 **i get us into trouble:** u fucking idiot u arent her type </3

 **junkrat emoshima:** bitch im everyone’s type </3

 **i get us into trouble:** you’re delusional bc kyo only likes black hair, red eyes and a liar complex </3

 **junkrat emoshima:** fucking shit man </3

 **Eggroll :D:** CAN YOU TWO SHUT UPDJSKFHJSDHF

 **11037:** yall bullying the girl and shes just right here

 **chihiro:** fr this class is a mistake

 **Eggroll :D:** also celes-san

 **Eggroll :D:** i think this is your warning that you should move faster sjdhsjfhsjfh

 **ghost hater:** ugh cant believe the friday night out was a bust these useless lesbians man :/

 **Eggroll :D:** ikr

 **Celes:** I’ll keep that in mind, Naegi-kun.

 **Eggroll :D:** WH

 **Kirigiri:** what

 **chihiro:** SAHAJDJSHFJHDSGHDJKDJ

 **i get us into trouble:** WHAT THE FUCKKSFKJSDFJFHD

 **junkrat emoshima:** GAY PEOPLE REAL

 **11037:** HOMO MOMENTTTT

 **ghost hater:** OH SHIT OH SHIT

 **discount miku:** HAJD*#(&#*^$??@)*#??? CELES-SAN????!#*(&#

 **i get us into trouble:** ever a top as always huh celes :^)

 **junkrat emoshima:** what. fucking disgusting. how dare you insinuate she is a top. how dare that thought even cross your mind. unthinkable. pathetic. this is the highest form of betrayal. we are friends by choice, but by nature we are adversaries. from this moment on, i will cut ties with you, asahina aoi. fuck you, you worm. you will pay for your sins against humanity. your gross violations against mankind will be marked down in history. i will make sure of that. watch your back, you worthless piece of dust.

 **chihiro:** SDJSFJKDGJKAEIARKSKSDR

 **chihiro:** JUNKO????

 **Eggroll :D:** AJDSFHDJFHDJG

 **11037:** BYEE JDSHFSHF#&*$^!$&#!?(

 **i get us into trouble:** FUCKING FIGHT ME JUNCOCK

 **chihiro:** j u n c o c k

**chihiro changed junkrat emoshima’s nickname to juncock emoshima**

**discount miku:** i

 **11037:** MY LUNGSJHD&#*&^@@!)@

 **i get us into trouble:** HAVE YOU SEEN HER??? SHE LITERALLY OOZES TOP ENERGY???

 **juncock emoshima:** UR JUST A BOTTOM GET OVER URSELF

 **Celes:** CAN WE NOT HAVE THIS CONVERSATION?

 **i get us into trouble:** shut up celes

 **juncock emoshima:** shut up celes

 **chihiro:** lmaoooo

 **11037:** should we even be here

 **Eggroll :D:** i….. don’t think….. so……

 **juncock emoshima:** @i get us into trouble HEY MF CELES IS THE BIGGEST PILLOW PRINCESS IVE EVER FUCKING SEEN BITCH NEEDS SO MUCH PAMPERING

 **i get us into trouble:** I CAN ASSURE YOU THE GOTH BITCH IS INTO ROPE SHIT AND OTHER KINKY STUFF JUST LOOK AT HER YOU AIRHEAD

 **Celes:** CAN WE PLEASE NOT HAVE THIS CONVERSATION?

 **juncock emoshima:** shut up celes

 **i get us into trouble:** shut up celes

 **chihiro:** oshit she’s bringing out the ‘please’ jdsfhdgjdhg

 **Taka:** I… this is… very… not exactly for everyone’s eyes I believe.

 **ghost hater:** im just watching the chaos from afar

**Taka flagged two messages**

**juncock emoshima:** I FUCKING BET KIWIKIWI HAS A STRAP-ON HIDDEN IN HER ROOM SOMEWHERE TAKE WHAT YOU WILL ASAHINA

 **Kirigiri:** i--um.

 **juncock emoshima:** SHE DIDN’T DENY IT GET FUCKED

 **i get us into trouble:** SO DOES CELES YOU JERK

 **Celes:** I have nothing of the sort.

 **juncock emoshima:** HA TAKE THAT FUCKER SHE’S NOT A TOP

 **i get us into trouble:** PFFT SHE’S LYING WHY WOULD ANYONE BROADCAST THAT THEY HAVE THAT OUT LOUD

 **discount miku:** why cant yall just agree theyre both vers and just move on

 **juncock emoshima:** shut up bottom

 **i get us into trouble:** shut up bottom

 **discount miku:** a

 **11037:** GET GOT LMFAOOOOOOO

 **chihiro:** its okay sayaka u can ask mukuro to kiss the burns for you

 **discount miku:** FUCK YOU#*&*$&!@^&!)#!

 **no:** for reference they both turned 18 months ago so they can buy those anyway

 **Eggroll :D:** TOKO THAT’S NOT HELPFUL IN THE SLIGHTESTIKSHDFJSHFJ

**Taka flagged five messages**

**i get us out of trouble:** it’s no use, taka.

 **Taka:** I’m still gonna try.

 **Celes:** Just block them out and pretend they don’t exist.

 **11037:** oh so like hinata-senpai

 **Eggroll :D:** thats what kyoko’s doing actually lol

 **Eggroll :D:** thatsroughkyo.jpeg

 **chihiro:** ah yes. face down on the desk,,,, the standard protocol

 **11037:** F

 **juncock emoshima:** HINA

 **i get us into trouble:** what you cunt

 **juncock emoshima:** I HAVE A FUCKING DEALBREAKER

 **i get us into trouble:** OH YEAH??? OH YEAHH?? TRY ME BITCH???

 **juncock emoshima:** HER NAILS.

 **juncock emoshima:** LOOK AT CELES’ NAILS YOU FUCKER

 **11037:** huh???

 **discount miku:** i hate that i understand what they mean kill me now i crave death

 **Eggroll :D:** you signed up for this hell and lived through it once. you are doomed to repeat it again

 **chihiro:** makotoahdjsahdjshf

 **ghost hater:** yo hina u’ve been quiet for a while now what’s up

 **ghost hater:** @i get us into trouble ???

 **ghost hater:** @i get us into trouble

 **ghost hater:** @i get us into trouble heyyyyy

 **ghost hater:** hellooooo????

 **Celes:** She checked my nails.

 **ghost hater:** oh

 **ghost hater:** wtf does that mean

 **11037:** probably a wlw thing man just leave it to them or smthn

 **ghost hater:** oh ok

 **i get us into trouble:** @juncock emoshima you win,,, this time,,,,

 **juncock emoshima:** HELL YEAHHHHHH

 **juncock emoshima:** NOW U OWE ME HAHAHAHAHJDGADG

 **i get us into trouble:** FUCKKKK

 **chihiro:** WHAT DOES IT MEAN????

 **discount miku:** her nails are long

 **chihiro:** YEAH IDK WHAT THAT MEANS????

 **discount miku:** i-

 **discount miku:** well.

 **juncock emoshima:** you see when two people love each other very much they dojdfbdfn n&w wn

 **Eggroll :D:** OH MY GOD SHE’S DEAD

 **no:** now if only there was a way for that to be permanent

 **Eggroll :D:** TOKONDSJSNFJDFOSFIK

 **Celes:** Do NOT say anything else. Please.

 **discount miku:** okay sorry sjfdsfhdf

 **chihiro:** nooooooo

 **chihiro:** i'll just look it up later

 **Taka:** NO!!

 **chihiro:** HUH WHY NOT

 **Taka:** Let’s just say that through unfortunate circumstances, I understand what it means, and that I am warning you that it is… not good to know. Maybe in the future, but not _now_.

 **chihiro:** okkk ;-;

 **11037:** taka best dad friend

 **Taka:** :D

 **Togami:** Question,

 **Togami:** Why are you idiots having top and bottom discourse about your own classmates in the class chatroom?

 **Togami:** Why even have that discussion at all?

 **Eggroll :D:** hey kuya!! :D

 **Togami:** Good evening, Naegi.

 **11037:** homosexualism

 **Eggroll :D:** stfu leon

 **11037:** :(((

 **i get us into trouble:** @Togami we dont give a flying fuck byakuya get w the program

 **juncock emoshima:** it came w ur fucking xbox togami

 **Kirigiri:** i think the point he’s trying to make is that the hope’s peak forums have that already.

 **Togami:** At least someone here still has some brain cells. My respect for pointing it out for these idiots as always, Kirigiri.

 **chihiro:** THEY HAVE WHAT

 **chihiro:** THE FORUMS????

 **11037:** bruh fr???

 **ghost hater:** we dont even check the forums damnnn

 **Eggroll :D:** i mean the hpa student body just collectively decided that the forums were boring so

 **ghost hater:** oh yeah

 **Kirigiri:** some topics are relatively mild, but if you dig deep enough you can find a few threads that can be a little... you get the point.

 **Kirigiri:** most are hosted by outsiders who happen to be fans or enthusiasts of hpa and its students, so a number of their assumptions and thoughts can be a bit unsavory.

 **juncock emoshima:** sounds freaky as shit

 **juncock emoshima:** now im curious

 **i get us into trouble:** same

 **11037:** same

 **discount miku:** same

 **chihiro:** sameee

 **ghost hater:** fr fr

 **Eggroll :D:** wait kyo does this mean you’ve been on the forums??

 **Kirigiri:** unfortunately, yes.

 **juncock emoshima:** OK WHAT DO THEY TALK ABOUT THERE

 **Kirigiri:** i'd rather not talk about the weird ones, and it’s best to see for yourselves to get even a margin of what i'm saying.

 **Kirigiri:** however, one i found amusing was a debate about who among the third years had the best rack.

 **chihiro:** WHAT THE FUCJKJVHCJGHFJ HAHAHADJHSAJHDG

 **i get us into trouble:** i

 **juncock emoshima:** NOW THATS MY KIND OF PARTY

 **11037:** WAIT WHO WON

 **discount miku:** nanami-senpai??? owari-senpai???

 **Kirigiri:** hinata-senpai, if i recall. nidai-senpai was a candidate but he got disqualified because he would’ve won it anyway without any further discussion.

 **11037:** WH

 **juncock emoshima:** HAHAHAHASH@&^#&$

 **juncock emoshima:** I FUCKING KNEW IT DAMN HAJIMESJHDSHJF

 **chihiro:** JSDHFJH&^#&^$&

 **Eggroll :D:** trans king coming in clutch

 **discount miku:** go off makoto

 **Kirigiri:** there was also one about who in our year had the best posterior.

 **11037:** LMFAOOOOO

 **ghost hater:** just say ass kyoko-chi nothing is stopping you

 **Eggroll :D:** come to think of it ive never heard kyoko curse before

 **i get us into trouble:** *kyoko voice* ass

 **Eggroll :D:** DSJFHJDSHFJDHG

 **discount miku:** bruh if its her it would be more refined

 **discount miku:** *kyoko voice* arse

 **Eggroll :D:** I HATE YOU GUYS#&&$&&S FJJF*&@#ASDK

 **i get us into trouble:** bitch that’s celes

 **discount miku:** omg u right

 **i get us into trouble:** *celes voice* why must you all be such a pain in my arse

 **Eggroll :D:** HAHADFJFGFDKS)!&^&^#&!%

 **juncock emoshima:** EVERYONE STFU D:<

 **juncock emoshima:** @Kirigiri what did they say abt whose ass is the best

 **juncock emoshima:** its obviously me right

 **11037:** ITS MINE BITCH WHADDAHELL

 **i get us into trouble:** it’s my ass thats the best wtf guys :/

 **vroom vroom:** its obv mine u guys fucking suck

 **11037:** WHERE DAHELL DID U COME FROM

 **Kirigiri:** i'll upload a screenshot of the poll.

 **Kirigiri:** forumbestasspoll.jpeg

 **juncock emoshima:** WH

 **juncock emoshima:** BRUH I

 **juncock emoshima:** TAKA AT TOP 1?????? JHDHFDJHFJ???#?#&*@^?

 **i get us into trouble:** IM DEADDDJEYHJDHGJGH

 **11037:** @Taka DUDE LOOK AT THIS JHFDFJDH

 **Taka:**...I don’t know how to feel about this.

 **vroom vroom:** issa good thing bro dw

 **Taka:** Okay…?

 **chihiro:** is no one gonna talk abt sakura being top 2 or

 **11037:** NAH ITS RITE

 **juncock emoshima:** if i fight her id get crushed yk

 **chihiro:** fair

 **i get us into trouble:** IM SO LUCKY FUCK YALLLLLL

 **Eggroll :D:** HINAHFDJHGJDHGFKS

 **juncock emoshima:** WAIT MUKURO AT TOP 3 WHAT THE FUCK

 **juncock emoshima:** SHE'S HIGHER THAN ME WHAT

 **juncock emoshima:** I MEAN,,, I SHOULD BE OFFENDED BUT I FEEL THIS WEIRD SENSE OF PRIDE???

 **discount miku:** dat ikusaba ass be nice

 **juncock emoshima:** BITCH THAT’S MY SISTER ILL KILL YOU&%R@^HSGHKER^#!?(!

 **11037:** SAYAKADSJHFFHKSDPE

 **chihiro:** togami’s somewhere at below the middle lol

 **i get us into trouble:** pfft average

 **Eggroll :D:** excuse me the togami booty is all i could ever want

 **Togami:** I.

 **Eggroll :D:** A

 **Eggroll :D:** WAIT

 **Eggroll :D:** WAITTT SHIT WAIT WAITSDKJFKJFS

**Eggroll :D deleted a message**

**i get us into trouble:** ON GOD@(&*#&*$

 **11037:** UH OH ITS HERE PEOPLE CODE REDDD CODE RED

 **chihiro:** OH GOD OH FUCK O

 **discount miku:** MAKOTOOOOOO

 **Togami:** The gardens, Naegi. Fifteen minutes.

 **Eggroll :D:** KUYA????

 **Togami:** Fifteen minutes, Naegi.

 **Eggroll :D:** i

 **11037:** holy shit

 **11037:** bruh

 **11037:**.

 **11037:** he’s offline bro

 **juncock emoshima:** YO TWINK WHAT R U WAITING FOR WTF

 **discount miku:** GO MAKOTO GO GOG O GO

 **chihiro:** GET THAT TOGAMI BOOTY

 **ghost hater:** MAKOTOOOOOOOO GOOOOO

 **i get us into trouble:** BITCH HE’S GONNA CONFESS HE LIKES YOU BACK DON’T WORRY TRUST US YOU MF

 **Eggroll :D:** I HATE YOU GUYS

 **Kirigiri:** good luck makoto. but i suppose you don’t really need that.

 **Taka:** Get going Naegi-kun!

 **Celes:** ^ Togami won’t be waiting there forever.

 **Eggroll :D:** wtf even u guys im

 **Eggroll :D:** HNGNGNGN IM GONNA CRY ILY GUYS

 **i get us into trouble:** JUST GO YOU IDIOT WTF

 **Eggroll :D:** ok jdshfdjdshfjhd

 **11037:** damn holy shit

 **11037:** this evening’s one of the gayest ive been in

 **vroom vroom:** forreal

 **chihiro:** if i start hearing noises at night that shouldnt be there in the future im suing u guys

* * *

**New Group**

**[10:57 PM]**

**20rock.kuwata added maizono.official, queen.of.liars and 2 others**

**20rock.kuwata renamed the group to covert spy operations music**

**20rock.kuwata changed their nickname to Leon**

**Leon:** gang gang

 **Leon:** WE GOTTA GO ALL OUT FOR HALLOWEEN

 **Leon:** i aint letting the bro trio and hina + sakura beat me >:((

**yasugakure changed their nickname to Hiro**

**Hiro:** r u just jealous of hina and sakura’s costumes

 **Leon:** THEY LOOKED SO COOL OKAY DSHJFDSDHJ

 **Leon:** mondo, chi and taka’s also looked cool as shit

 **Leon:** GOD I SHOULDVE COMMISSIONED THE ULTIMATE TAILOR TOO DSHBFHSF

 **Hiro:** we didnt know there was gonna be a poll for best everything ya kno :/

 **Leon:** ughh

 **Leon:** curse this school for capitalizing on my competitive tendencies

**ikusaba.hpa changed their nickname to Mukuro**

**Mukuro:** why am i here?

 **Leon:** bc u dont have a costume yet and sayaka wanted u

 **maizono.official:** wtf i didn’t say anything fuck u leon

**maizono.official changed their nickname to Sayaka**

**Sayaka:** anyway

 **Sayaka:** fuck u leon

 **Leon:** huehuehueh lov u too bro no hetero <3333

 **Mukuro:** oh.

 **Mukuro:** i just didn’t plan on attending or dressing up.

 **Sayaka:** wait what WHYYY

 **Leon:** yea dude

 **Leon:** literally everyone is going

 **Leon:** even fukawa and ur unhinged as fuck sister

 **Hiro:** its guaranteed to be a Party if shes there lol

 **Hiro:** also toko-chi’s just going bc makoto’s sister asked her out

 **Leon:** WAIT DAMNNN HOMO ACTIVITY

 **Leon:** komaru from the reserve course rite?? first year??

 **Hiro:** yeppp

 **Leon:** LETS GO LESBIANS

 **Leon:** anyway

 **Leon:** why arent u going @Mukuro

 **Mukuro:** i guess i just don’t have any reason to? i don’t want to stick with junko all the time.

**queen.of.liars changed their nickname to Celes**

**Celes:** You can always go with Maizono-san to the party if you want to. You don’t have to be with Enoshima that way.

 **Celes:** You guys are quite close, no?

 **Sayaka:** CELES SHUT UPDJSUHFDUJHF

 **Leon:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Hiro:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Mukuro:** oh. that sounds nice.

 **Mukuro:** is that okay with you, sayaka-san?

 **Sayaka:** i

 **Sayaka:** yeah

 **Sayaka:** really okay actually hahahaha

 **Leon:** real smooth there yo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Hiro:** ay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Sayaka:** i hate it here

 **Mukuro:** that’s good to know @Sayaka but there’s one problem…?

 **Sayaka:** oh what is it???

 **Mukuro:** i don’t have a costume, and the party’s in two days.

 **Sayaka:** OH I CAN DO SMTHN ABT THAT

 **Sayaka:** or for yall actually

 **Sayaka:** just dm me ur sizes and i'll ask the studio to bring out some spare stuff!!

 **Leon:** WHOA WAIT RLLY???? NO JOKE???

 **Sayaka:** haha yeah!! i was actually supposed to have a concert on the 31st but my manager insisted i take a break bc i did it last year!! sooo there’s like. a lot of unused costumes at the studio

 **Sayaka:** i just gotta give her a head’s up and drive by it tomorrow ig

 **Leon:** OH HELLA

 **Hiro:** YAY

 **Mukuro:** that’s good to know.

 **Celes:** Do any of you know how to drive? Or will you have to commute?

 **Hiro:** nah dw i may act irresponsible but i have a CAR and know how to drive ok u can trust big bro hiro on anything yk :P

 **Celes:** Ah, that’s good to know.

 **Sayaka:** arent u coming w us??

 **Celes:** Kuwata-kun may be a bit misinformed, as I already have a costume. What I do have though, is a matching one that’s unused.

 **Leon:** oh ahaha my bad

 **Celes:** It’s alright. No harm done.

 **Sayaka:** OHHHH CAN U SHOW I WANNA SEE AAHHHHH

 **Mukuro:** ^

 **Celes:** ruffleshirtsetandpants.jpeg

 **Hiro:** WIG

 **Leon:** GOD THAT DEEP RED RUFFLED BLOUSE LOOKS SEXY AS SHIT

 **Mukuro:** i agree.

 **Leon:** add in some fake fangs and ur gonna make the sexiest vampire

 **Hiro:** just as hina wishes god bles

 **Sayaka:** yeah but i feel like only a few can pull it off

 **Sayaka:** im thinking of some people

 **Hiro:** yeah i think so too???

 **Leon:** fr theres gotta be some like. innate confidence bc not everyone can pull off the victorian ruffled sleeves and pants look ykno

 **Hiro:** YOU NEED THE SWAG

 **Leon:** SWAG

 **Sayaka:** hmmm theres byakuya, myb mondo, kyoko or junko

 **Sayaka:** WAIT

 **Celes:** Do not say what I think you’re going to say.

 **Sayaka:** PLEASENJAHSJHD KYOKO WOULD FIT THAT SO WELL SHUT UPPPPP

 **Sayaka:** SHE ALSO DOESNT HAVE A COSTUME YET PLEASE PLEASEJBDFB

 **Sayaka:** PLEASE

 **Leon:** PWEASE CEWES-SAN WET US ASK KIWIGIWI KWOKO UWU OWO

 **Sayaka:** CEWES SUAYDUSAFYDS

 **Hiro:** LEON SHUT UP OFDJJDFHJGFHDFJHGFJ

 **Mukuro:** i think kirigiri-san would appreciate it if somebody offered her a costume.

 **Celes:** Fine.

 **Sayaka:** OH

 **Hiro:** UH OH ITS HAPPENING WHATS THE CONTINGENCY SOMETHING

 **Sayaka:** lol

 **Leon:** @Celes do i invite her or

 **Celes:** Go ahead.

 **Leon:** aight i sent her an invite we just gotta wait

 **Sayaka:** its okay celes-san i def think she would be perfect for it skfjdsfhjdgh

 **Sayaka:** this is also ur chance ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Leon:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Hiro:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**kirigiri.kyoko joined the group**

**kirigiri.kyoko:**?

 **Leon:** hol on

**Leon changed kirigiri.kyoko’s nickname to Kyoko**

**Leon:** aight there

 **Kyoko:**??

 **Sayaka:** celes has a spare costume for the halloween party that u can use!!

 **Hiro:** yea just tell us if u want it or not

 **Celes:** Scroll up, dear.

 **Kyoko:** oh, okay.

 **Kyoko:** it looks great, but will it fit me?

 **Celes:** Don’t worry about that, it will.

 **Kyoko:** oh

 **Kyoko:** i guess i'll take it? there aren’t any other options for me anyway.

 **Leon:** POG

 **Hiro:** POG

 **Sayaka:** AAAAAAAHHHH YAY IM SO HAPPYKDJSGKD

 **Leon:** YOU’RE NOT EVEN THE ONE WHO OWNS THE COSTUME WHAT

 **Hiro:** it’s all in the Gay tee em

 **Celes:** @Kyoko Head over to my room after breakfast, and I’ll hand it over to you.

 **Kyoko:** thank you.

 **Sayaka:** &@^&#$^@Nfngnwpl

 **Leon:** SAYAKA STFU STOP SQUEALING I CAN HEAR YOU FROM HEREE OH MY GOD

 **Mukuro:** ^

 **Sayaka:** im sorry im sorryjxfdnsjfjdhf

 **Leon:** IT SOUNDS LIKE A BIRD JUST DIED&^#^#&@

 **Hiro:** DSJFHSDJFHDJFGHDJKS

 **Sayaka:** IM SORRY OKAY STFU

 **Kyoko:** i'll get going now. good night everyone.

**Kyoko left the group**

**Celes:** Are you all happy now?

 **Sayaka:** FUCKING ABSOLUTELY

 **Leon:** HAAHSGADHGGHSF HOMOSEXUALISM

 **Hiro:** HECK YEAHHHH GO GET UR DETECTIVE GF

 **Sayaka:** wait

 **Sayaka:** holy shit

 **Sayaka:** oh my godddd

 **Sayaka:** OH MY FUCKING GOD

 **Mukuro:**?

 **Leon:** HUH

 **Hiro:** WHAT’S WRONG

 **Sayaka:** CELES U DIDN’T TELL HER U WERE MATCHING W HER JSDHFJDSHG JHKSA!!>@KJEj^&#*!4%#

 **Leon:** OH

 **Leon:** OHHHH DSIHJFSHDGFHDSGJ

 **Leon:** HOLY SHIT#&#^$^#*($@&*&#

 **Hiro:** G WORD PEOPLE REALLLL

 **Celes:** It just slipped my mind.

 **Sayaka:** BULLSHIT U DID IT ON PURPOSEJDHFJDHJHD

 **Hiro:** i mean

 **Hiro:** thats good right heheheh

 **Hiro:** now kyoko-chi will wear it w/o any second thoughts yk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Leon:** WHOA WAS THAT YOUR PLAN

 **Celes:** A little lying didn’t hurt anyone.

 **Mukuro:** …that’s kind of clever, in its own way.

 **Celes:** :)

 **Sayaka:** OHHHHHH

 **Leon:** OHHHHHH

 **Hiro:** OHHHHHH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is relatively v dry in humor compared to the other ones haha,,,, ig its bc its a setup lolol im sorry
> 
> some of my discord buddies wanted me to do the 'everyone's names r changed to something embarrassing they've done and now everyone has to find it out' but sjhfjhjdghj its a rlly overdone thing and idk if ill be able to pull something out of my ass for it lol
> 
> this chapter was supposedly all naegami/ikuzono but my brainrot said 'celesgiri or die' and i couldnt help myself OTL
> 
> edit: newerish nicknames  
> my readings are accurate -> ghost hater - Hiro  
> junkrat -> juncock emoshima - Junko
> 
> leon's group is v self-explanatory so there's no need to add it here!!


	8. two men alone in the night what will they do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** MF THAT’S GAY AS SHITKJD FJDSKJFGK
> 
>  **passed out in a haunted house:** i hate gay people. i hate gay people so much its unreal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> snippets of the party + the name change to something embarrassing trope bc i like pleasing my friends

**six gay peas in a pod <3**

**[5:32 PM]**

**hina!!!:** @Kirgiri KYOKO YOU LOOKING LIKE A SNACK RN

 **hina!!!:** halloweenkyoko1.jpeg

 **hina!!!:** halloweenkyoko2.jpeg

 **hina!!!:** halloweenkyoko3.jpeg

 **hina!!!:** halloweenkyoko4.jpeg

 **hina!!!:** MATCHING W CELES WAS THE BEST DECISION EVER WTF I COULD KISS U

 **Kirigiri:** she didn’t inform me we were matching, but i guess it’s fine. her dress looks incredible so i'm not complaining.

 **it was a dark stormy night:** just say she looks hot wtf

 **what? you egg:** TOKOJAHDJSAHDJSAHFKS

 **Kirigiri:** also, it’s rather difficult talking with the fake fangs in the way.

 **30% off:** u have a lisp jksadjskfjsk

 **what? you egg:** SORRY KYO BUT ITS A FAIR PRICE TO PAY FOR VANITY

 **hina!!!:** LOUDER MAKOTO

 **Kuya:** You remind me of one character from this show Makoto made me watch yesterday.

 **what? you egg:** ohhh haha dracula from castlevania rite?? she just needs da cape to complete the look ugh

 **Kuya:** Agreed.

 **30% off:** whoa ur being civil today :0

 **Kuya:** Speak more and I won’t.

 **30% off:** IM SOWWY UWU

 **30% off:** also haha looking nice in that prince outfit byakuya thumbs up from lil ol me

 **what? you egg:** ur adventurer costume looks nice hiro hehe

 **what? you egg:** also kuya’s matching w me :D i'm a knight!! and if u gave it a backstory maybe his personal guard

 **Kuya:** A charming one, at that.

 **what? you egg:** kuya 😳

 **hina!!!:** YOU GUYS R SO CUTE IM SO HAPPYYY WTFFF

 **hina!!!:** now if only someone did the same fucking thing :////

 **30% off:** :////

 **30% off:** cough kyoko-chi cough

 **hina!!!:** whats so funny abt celes to me is that she could go to the party in her normal attire and it wouldn’t look out of place,,, in both the party AND w kyo

 **Kuya:** Absolutely not. Ludenburg understands the struggle of aiming for the best.

 **what? you egg:** this is not a contest but sure go off i guess

 **hina!!!:** who knew the one way to get byakuya to agree was to prey on his competitive tendencies

 **30% off:** so like leon

 **what? you egg:** djshfdjshfjsfhj

 **hina!!!:** eh but i guess richie rich’s right in a way :T celes likes being extra so

 **what? you egg:** also sayaka and mukuro’s costumes ayyy

 **hina!!!:** oh!! red riding hood and a wolf

 **30% off:** kinda gay if u ask me

 **it was a dark stormy night:** furry!mukuro

 **what? you egg:** TOKO SHUT UPKSADKJSH

 **30% off:** yo btw whats the timeframe for the party again

 **Kirigiri:** 7PM to 12 midnight, hiro.

 **30% off:** YO THAT’S AWESOME

 **30% off:** also thank kyoko-chi

 **Kirigiri:** no problem. they're also asking us to sign the attendance records by the gym entrance, so heads up. taka's also going around telling everyone.

 **hina!!!:** aight im just waiting for sakura’s makeup to be done but we’ll be otw!! we all gotta take some pics outside before it starts :D

 **what? you egg:** yeah!! omw w kuya

 **30% off:** LETS GOOOOO

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[8:16 PM]**

**juncock emoshima:** LOOKING GOOD YALL

 **juncock emoshima:** sakuraandhinapirates.jpeg

 **juncock emoshima:** frankensteinmondoagenttaka.jpeg

 **juncock emoshima:** scientistchihiroreal.jpeg

 **juncock emoshima:** vampirecouplehehe.jpeg

 **juncock emoshima:** ninjaleonnininin.jpeg

 **juncock emoshima:** redsayakaadventurerhiro.jpeg

 **juncock emoshima:** tokomaruwitchlesbians.jpeg

 **juncock emoshima:** selfieofmeandmygirls.jpeg

 **juncock emoshima:** furrymukuroreal.jpeg

 **discount miku:** FURRY MUKURO ASJDKSAHFHJSJS

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[9:31 PM]**

**11037:** WHO THE FUCK SNUCK IN THE ALCHOHOL ??????? GOD BLES U ???

 **Eggroll :D:** jfc

 **discount miku:** souda-senpai and kuzuryu-senpai judging by the almost-riot happening on the other side of the gym

 **no:** also iruma and ouma from the year below

 **discount miku:** oh thanks!! there's also uh. mondo

 **Eggroll :D:** WH

 **11037:** LMAOOOOO

 **juncock emoshima:** it wouldnt be a party without someone breaking the rules bro

 **11037:** HELL YEAH DUDE

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** im assuming you did something.

 **juncock emoshima:** yes :3c

 **juncock emoshima:** just a bit of smthn smthn to get the REAL party started

 **11037:** r u talking abt that momota dude’s hair being on fire

 **juncock emoshima:** no wtf i have more class :/

 **juncock emoshima:** i asked the tech guy to play rickroll on the huge ass projector

 **11037:** BAHAHAJDJASHFJSDHFJSD

 **Eggroll :D:** i

 **Taka:** Good god. You are all out of control. I’m out.

 **i get us into trouble:** HAHAJSHAJHDJHDAJSHJ

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[11:45 PM]**

**juncock emoshima:** KIRIGIRI KYOKO EYEFUCKING

 **juncock emoshima:** gayrightsman.jpeg

 **juncock emoshima:** we get it that open back on dat dress be NUMMY AS FUCK but nothing is happening if u dont kiss the goth u indecisive mf

 **vroom vroom:** bruh u rlly don’t stop pulling any punches the girl’s drunk ffs

 **discount miku:** she doesnt give a shit

 **vroom vroom:** yeah ig ur right there

 **juncock emoshima:** mondo the boy aint waiting forever either

 **vroom vroom:** FUCK YOU

 **juncock emoshima:** :P

 **Eggroll :D:** kuya and i are conking out!! the costumes r getting stuffy for us sjdhsjfdhsjfs

 **juncock emoshima:** two men alone in the night what will they do

 **Togami:** You’re dead to me, Enoshima.

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[12:05 AM]**

**chihiro:** ofc tanaka-senpai and shirogane get best costume ksjdskfjksfj

 **stabbing is not a hobby:** celes-san and sonia-senpai were close seconds though. also amami from year 1.

 **discount miku:** this might be my girl-support-ur-girl mentality speaking butksajdksa celes numbah one 😤

 **i get us out of trouble:** objectively speaking shirogane’s is amazing. but i agree with what you said. celes also sewed hers after all. ^

 **juncock emoshima:** FUCK YEAH

 **Celes:** I don’t understand why they keep trying to bring sexy back.

 **11037:**???

 **Celes:** I never left.

 **chihiro:** OH SHITTTT

 **discount miku:** GO FUCKING OFFFFFF

**stabbing is not a hobby: 👏👏👏👏**

**11037:** SMOOOOOTH

 **juncock emoshima:** SMOOOOOTH

 **i get us into trouble:** SMOOOOOOTH

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[4:47 AM]**

**licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** YO THAT HALLOWEEN PARTY WAS WILD

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** why r our pfps blacked out

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** WAIT SHIT

 **drank milk while doing a handstand:** lol

 **drank milk while doing a handstand:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **drank milk while doing a handstand:** k im out

 **passed out in a haunted house:** i hate it here

 **did a lap dance:** LMAO

 **did a lap dance:** wait r these legit

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** who ARE you

 **did a lap dance:** WHY THE FUCK WOULD I TELL YOU

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** yall tune down the notifs it aint helping my hangover hshshsgdhsgks

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** bro wtf

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** D A D D Y

 **passed out in a haunted house:** ik who that is but im not saying it out of respect skjfksdfjkdjg

 **did a lap dance once:** NSFJDSFHDS

 **did a lap dance once:** me rolling up at a taco bell and talking to the guy taking my order at the drive thru be like; heyyyyyy daddy ;) ;) whats the sauce for today ;)

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** SHUT THE FUCK UP HLJJKHLKJHSDKS

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** yall r so stupid

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **did a lap dance:** WHOEVER YOU ARE I STAN YOU

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** PEKOYAMA-SENPAI????

 **passed out in a haunted house:** you. you,,, have a few screws loose jshfjsdhf

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** why her of all ppl?? its like asking to be a victim for first degree murder djhfjdhfjdhgfj

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** braver than any marine

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** HOW??? DID ANYONE???? KNOW THIS???

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** ALSO THIS WAS DONE FOR A REASON OK PLEASEJSHFJSDFHJ

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** no one would dare slap pekoyama-senpai’s ass even if they had a reason wtf

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** i

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** wait i can explain please pls jsdhfjdfjdgjakssjks

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** ^ …whoever you are i feel sorry for u in a way

 **passed out in a haunted house:** F

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** its appreciated i guess orz

 **was the lap for the lap dance:** looks like everyone’s names got changed to something they did?

 **was the lap for the lap dance:** oh

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** LOL

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** YO THATS GAY

 **did a lap dance:** ahahahaha hiiiiii <3333

 **was the lap for the lap dance:** hi i guess

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** huh im just gonna assume both of u know each other and don’t want to reveal urselves

 **did a lap dance:** ahaha the thing is

 **did a lap dance:** i dont actually remember who it is :l

 **did a lap dance:** i vaguely remember doing the lap dance, but not who i was giving it to?? i was too drunk skajdshfds

 **was the lap for the lap dance:** same thing.

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** LMFAOOOO

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** well then. this is both of ur chance ay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** that sucks

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** wait so does that mean whoever gave us these names know

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** so its someone who went w us during that night out food trip last thursday lol

 **did a lap dance:** or ya kno,,,, an admin

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** so taka, hina or chihiro??

 **ate makoto’s pudding last week:** I did no such thing.

 **ate makoto’s pudding last week:** oh

 **did a lap dance:** hey taka lol

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** HUH IT WAS YOU??? *YOU* ATE IT????

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** WAIT. SHIT

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** MAKOTO DSAHJFDHASFHSK

 **did a lap dance:** MAKOTO HAHAHAHA

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** I CAN EXPLAINDHSAHFS ADHFJFSA

 **passed out in a haunted house:** i. how. i

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** LISTEN DURING 4TH GRADE A LOT OF MY CLASSMATES KEPT SAYING IT AND I FOR WHATEVER FUCKING REASON THOUGHT IT WAS REFERRING TO A DICK UNTIL MY MOM EVENTUALLY POINTED IT OUT SJKDJSKJF

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** im

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** ITS CLOSE ENOUGH AT LEAST LMAOOAOAOA

 **did a lap dance:** 4th grade makoto voice i will kick ur dildo so hard ur eyes will roll to the back of ur head

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** JHSAJHDJAHDJSHJ

 **chihiro:** sorry for doing this guys i got bored hahahhashsghds

 **chihiro:** modified everyone else’s user settings for a bit so now u can text freely, but cant change nicknames or urls

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** WE’VE HAD ENOUGH IN ONE DAY CHI JFC

 **passed out in a haunted house:** was the party not enough,, that one was insane in its own right ksfdsfkjdgk

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** CHI I TRUSTED YOU WITH THIS INFORMATION AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO WITH IT??? UNFORGIVABLE

 **chihiro:** you trusted *me*

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** i

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** …nvm

 **ate makoto’s pudding last week:** I’m sorry Naegi-kun! I thought it was mine. But apparently it seems we just buy the same brand.

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** oh nah haha its fine

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** we srsly need to find better ways to organize our stuff in the fridge lol

 **ate makoto’s pudding last week:** I’ll just buy you some later tomorrow! Is that alright?

 **confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade:** ok ty taka :D

**chihiro changed confused ‘dildo’ for a penis until 7th grade’s nickname to Eggroll**

**chihiro changed ate makoto’s pudding last week’s nickname to Taka**

**chihiro:** there

 **Taka:** Ah, thank you, Chihiro.

 **Eggroll:** i still don’t forgive you >:(

 **chihiro:** oop

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** yall im gonna do smthn stupid

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** @everyone

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** @everyone

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** @everyone

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** @everyone

 **Eggroll:** now thats just evil

 **passed out in a haunted house:** fr lol

 **cares a lot for their friends:** Keep it down, you ruffians. It’s four in the morning.

**cares a lot for their friends deleted a message**

**Eggroll:** KUYA??????

 **Eggroll:** NO WAIT DONT GO OFFLINE THATS ACTUALLY SO CUTE WHAT

 **Eggroll:** IM COMING BACK TO UR ROOM TO CUDDLE U CANT STOP ME

 **chihiro:** awww

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** gay

 **passed out in a haunted house:** g word

**chihiro changed cares a lot for their friends’s nickname to Togami**

**can do cartwheels with heels on:**?

 **did a lap dance:** WHO THE HELL ARE YOU SHJFDHSJF

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** wow ok damn :///

 **did a lap dance:** THATS SO COOL???

 **blew up the microwave:** what the fuck is going on

 **blew up the microwave:** huh

 **blew up the microwave:** this is toko

 **blew up the microwave:** bye

 **chihiro:** ur not even gonna hide it i

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** WHAT

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** BRUH I

 **Eggroll:** SJADHSAKJHFSADHFD

 **passed out in a haunted house:** ok what a chad

 **chihiro:** she litrally just dipped out hahahashsfdf

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** god i wish that were me

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** yeah <3

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** SHE’S THE ONE WHO BLEW UP THE MICROWAVE??? @*&@*!&#??? OF ALL PEOPLE ???? WHAT ???

 **did a lap dance:** i think the question ur supposed to ask is HOW and WHY she blew it up

**chihiro changed blew up the microwave’s nickname to no**

**licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** ok so i read the nickname list and i have questions for the asshole who RAVAGED our coffee supply

 **Eggroll:** you DO know there’s like. literally only one person here who consumes questionable amounts of caffeine that its actually very concerning right

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** kyoko

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** kyoko

 **did a lap dance:** kyoko

 **passed out in a haunted house:** kyoko

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** @depleted the coffee supply kyoko wtf

 **depleted the coffee supply:** don’t disturb me.

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** LMAO BITCH IS CRANKY AS FUCK

**chihiro changed depleted the coffee supply’s nickname to Kirigiri**

**Eggroll:** w how she was at that party hours ago i wont even question it

 **did a lap dance:** yea

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** ok fair

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** guys

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** ukno ive been thinking for a while and i think i know who the flagpole one is bc i saw it happen @ the courtyard

 **did a lap dance:** WHO????

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** SPILL SPILL

 **passed out in a haunted house:** intense eye emojiing

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** no u dont <3

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** yes i do stfu junko i know thats u

 **licked the flagpole for 500 yen:** FUCK YOUDJSHFJSFH

**chihiro changed lick the flagpole for 500 yen’s nickname to juncock emoshima**

**Eggroll:** i

 **Eggroll:** i have many questions

 **juncock emoshima:** and i wont answer any of them dickwad <3

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** why did u tho

 **juncock emoshima:** I SAID I WONT ANSWER FUCK OFF BRO

 **juncock emoshima:** also bc im broke and 500 yen is 500 yen

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** YOU’RE A MODEL??????

 **Eggroll:** if there’s anyone here who should be broke its me gkgjhkgje

 **was the lap for the lap dance:** junko buys a lot of questionable things with her paycheck. you don’t want to know.

 **juncock emoshima:** yees <3

 **juncock emoshima:** wait a fucking second

 **juncock emoshima:** MUKURO?????????

 **was the lap for the lap dance:** hi

**chihiro changed was the lap for the lap dance’s nickname to stabbing is an occupation**

**called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** BRUH JKASDASHFD

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** O NG CDFJMAAED,D.A.6&@*

 **juncock emoshima:** YEAAAHAHHHHH UR FINALLY GETTING SOME IM SO PROUD OF YOUJKSD FKSAKS

 **Eggroll:** WAIT WAIT GUYS SHUT THE FUCKK

 **Eggroll:** IF I REMEMEBR THAT THURSDAY NIGHT CORRECTYLHDSDJSF

 **Eggroll:** @did the lap dance SAYAKA??? DKJSKFJDS????

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** OH. OH

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **did a lap dance:** well then

 **did a lap dance:** ADIOS

 **did a lap dance:** *fades from existence*

 **Eggroll:** NOOOSAJNDHSJDHFSJF OH MY GOODDDD

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** and she’s off. rest in pussy

**chihiro changed did a lap dance’s nickname to discount miku**

**juncock emoshima:** guys

 **juncock emoshima:** lesbian in her natural habitat

 **juncock emoshima:** tomatomukuro.jpeg

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **passed out in a haunted house:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Eggroll:** ayyyy

 **stabbing is an occupation:** maybe if i wasn’t drunk and more aware of what was happening i would’ve enjoyed it.

 **Eggroll:** w

 **Eggroll:** DSIAFJSA??kJSAKJDKSJkr

 **chihiro:** I. I. WH

 **juncock emoshima:** KSJAKDJK??@?$#l(#*@?!?

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** MF THAT’S GAY AS SHITKJD FJDSKJFGK

 **passed out in a haunted house:** i hate gay people. i hate gay people so much its unreal

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** @discount miku

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** @discount miku

 **Eggroll:** @discount miku @discount miku

 **passed out in a haunted house:** @discount miku @discount miku

 **juncock emoshima:** @discount miku 

**juncock emoshima:** @discount miku

 **juncock emoshima:** @discount miku WAKE UP PUSSY

 **discount miku:** WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU ALL WANTKASDJKSA

 **stabbing is an occupation:** you

 **Eggroll:** oh

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** oh

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** oh

 **passed out in a haunted house:** oh

 **chihiro:** oh

 **juncock emoshima:** oh

 **discount miku:** a

 **juncock emoshima:** YOU KILLED HER

 **Eggroll:** STOP BEING GAY IN CHAT AND BE GAY IRL

 **chihiro:** go forth children

 **passed out in a haunted house:** we’re taller than you

 **chihiro:** D: D: D:

 **juncock emoshima:** MUKURO JUST RAN OUT OF MY ROOM HAHAHAHGDSHAGD

 **Eggroll:** true????

 **juncock emoshima:** yesz

 **Eggroll:** oh

 **Eggroll:** :)

 **Eggroll:** sayaka’s so getting railed isnt she

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** yeah <3

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** yeah <3

 **passed out in a haunted house:** yeah <3

 **juncock emoshima:** yeah <3

 **chihiro:** yeah <3

 **discount miku:** fuck you guys

 **discount miku:** the ‘daddy’ guy is leon and the haunted house one is hiro btw

 **discount miku:** au revoirdkgdkg.sa n

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** rest in PUSSY

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** WHAT

 **called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once:** FUCK KSLJFKDS

 **Eggroll:** LEON???@>:efkl!@(**&#

 **passed out in a haunted house:** i mean mine was kinda obvious so

**chihiro changed called a minimum wage worker ‘daddy’ once’s nickname to 11037**

**chihiro changed passed out in a haunted house’s nickname to ghost hater**

**chihiro:** rip maizono sayaka. ur sacrifice wasnt in vain. at least u get shagged

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** no shit she’s got someone screwing her senseless today

 **juncock emoshima:** muku on her way to get an idol gf skjfkdjksgdjfkg

 **11037:** YALL LISTEN.

 **11037:** i was drunk and distracted ok

 **11037:** i was gonna make a joke and somehow daddy was the first word in my mind and i thought hiro was the guy next to me

 **11037:** turns out it was the mall janitor skjfasjfakf

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** HAHAHAHJSDAJHDS

 **11037:** ok but fr who the fuck are you ^

 **ghost hater:** yeah lol

 **juncock emoshima:** ^

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** im sorry but id rather eat my own hand than admit it wtf

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** figure it out

 **Eggroll:** the only ones we havent guessed is celes, mondo, sakura and hina,,, the other three r probably asleep bc they have lives and dont go here often

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** RUDE

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** wait fuck ksjafdajhsf

 **11037:** WHAT. WHAT. WHAT WHAT????

 **chihiro:** yeah.

 **juncock emoshima:** i. bruh i

 **Eggroll:** HINA??????

 **slapped pekoyama’s ass one time:** chi how did u know kjaaskdsjakfjsf

**chihiro changed slapped pekoyama’s ass one time’s nickname to i get us into trouble**

**chihiro:** i saw skjdksfjksjs

 **i get us into trouble:** YOU WHAT

 **chihiro:** yeah and like. JUST WHY??????

 **i get us into trouble:** WHY WOULD I TELL U THAT SHIT’S EMBARRASSING

 **Kirigiri:** saionji-senpai was offering her those little arm bracelets with the colors of the lesbian flag in exchange of doing the deed. hina couldn’t resist.

 **Eggroll:** LKSALJDKASJFSAFKSDJ

 **11037:** BRUH LMAOOOO FOR ARM BRACELETS???sl:l>@#(*??

 **juncock emoshima:** sounds like shit i'd pull

 **ghost hater:** yeah but which part

 **juncock emoshima:** yes

 **ghost hater:** understandable

 **i get us into trouble:** kyoko why do u always bully me what the fuck

 **i get us into trouble:** u r so mean 2 me </3333

 **i get us into trouble:** anyone wanna apply as my new gay best friend who i don’t tell no homo sometimes :^) the position is vacant now idk who kirigiri kyoko is :^)

 **Eggroll:** imo i think only kyoko can actually stand u skjksjfkfsj she isnt fazed by u joke flirting w her either

 **i get us into trouble:** damn </3

 **Kirigiri:** <3

 **i get us into trouble:** WHATSADKSJFKKA ????

 **i get us into trouble:** KYOKOOO FUCK YOU FR

 **11037:** hungover kyoko hits different lmaooooo

 **Eggroll:** HAHAHAHAHGDSHAGD

 **juncock emoshima:** hina take the L

 **11037:** u got fucking bulldozed ksdjskfks

 **Kirigiri:** also, @/can do cartwheels with heels on is celes.

**chihiro changed can do cartwheels with heels on’s nickname to Celes**

**Eggroll:** W H AT

 **Eggroll:** …wait now that u actually point it out it makes sense

 **11037:** oh yea oh yea

 **i get us into trouble:** so does that mean the handstand milk guy is mondo???

**chihiro changed drank milk while doing a handstand’s nickname to vroom vroom**

**11037:** yo thatss kinda fucking rad

 **Eggroll:** yeah if it didnt fail lol

 **11037:** ig ig

 **i get us into trouble:** oh yea chi i noticed this earlier but why is sakura’s secret ‘owns a dog’??? i knew already but its just weird how its mild compared to everyone else’s here lol

 **chihiro:** oh its not rlly a secret i just wanted everyone to know she had a dog jskfjdskfjdsk

**chihiro changed owns a dog's nickname to i get us out of trouble**

**i get us into trouble:** my beautiful gf be so lucky :/

 **Eggroll:** wait she has a dog????

 **chihiro:** yeah!! a lil pom actually!! remember when she was my chemistry partner last year??? i got to go to her house and dojo, and the one that greeted me at the gates was this cute lil furball he was so cute and i just askdjskfj <3333333

 **Eggroll:** omg

 **11037:** SEND PIC SEND PIC

 **juncock emoshima:** SEND PICCCCC

 **i get us into trouble:** i got some hol on

 **i get us into trouble:** shinso1.jpeg

 **i get us into trouble:** shinso2.jpeg

 **i get us into trouble:** shinso3.jpeg

 **Eggroll:** HE’S SO CUTE BYE

 **11037:** clutching chest

 **11037:** a boy. shinso good boy

 **juncock emoshima:** *passes away cutely*

 **11037:** *dies sexily*

 **i get us into trouble:** *bleeds out prettily*

 **Kirigiri:** *gets shot gorgeously*

 **juncock emoshima:** LMAO

 **chihiro:** KSJADHJSAHFJDSHFL???? KIRIGIRI???

 **11037:** hungover kyoko just so u know im a fan

 **i get us into trouble:** HSAJHDSJAHDJSAHFK

 **Eggroll:** anyways.

 **Eggroll:** ok so.

 **Eggroll:** so,

 **Eggroll:** shouldnt we be getting to sleep jfc

 **11037:** yeah but do u think we will

 **Eggroll:** i-

 **Eggroll:** no

 **juncock emoshima:** happy halloween boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok wow happy halloween like juncock says!! anyway ikuzono real
> 
> edit: nicknames (in order of appearance)  
> licked the flagpole for 500 yen - Junko  
> drank milk while doing a handstand - Mondo  
> passed out in a haunted house - Hiro  
> did a lap dance - Sayaka  
> called a minimum wage worker 'daddy' once - Leon  
> slapped pekoyama's ass one time - Hina  
> confused 'dildo' for a penis until 7th grade - Makoto  
> was the lap for the lap dance - Mukuro  
> ate makoto's pudding last week - Taka  
> cares a lot for their friends - Byakuya  
> can do cartwheels with heels on - Celes  
> blew up the microwave - Toko  
> depleted the coffee supply - Kyoko  
> and the best one of all: owns a dog - Sakura


	9. what the actual pissing monkey fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***breathes in* *screams*:** oh ibuki is very aware of that!!!! we did promise to always say no homo :^D
> 
>  **minion gijinka:** ALL MY INSIDES JUST FLEW RIGHT OUT OF MY ASSH OE L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watched oomf play arknights today and now im even more scared of downloading it. as much as i wanna play w them,,, i do not, in fact, have a brain. therefore in that game i will be ultimately useless
> 
> also timeline for this chap is after the party!

**two bros alone on an island sitting 5 ft apart bc theyre not gay**

**[1:19 PM]**

**gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** sometimes i lose track of time. when i regain my senses and look down my hands have made their way to my boobs

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** i am just chillin. sitting there……… holding da titties

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** me: idle. boobies: held

 **gamer girl gf:** hotel: trivago

 **minion gijinka:** rt

 **mama-hiru:** rt

 **Tsumikan:** rt

 **hajimeme:** same if nagito isnt holding them for me

 **komaeda <3: **hajime 😳

 **minion gijinka:** gay

 **ryotAH:** gay

 **gamer girl gf:** damn holdin those pecs my man

 **hajimeme:** chiaki <3333 bro <3333

 **gamer girl gf:** bro <3333

 **boss baby timeskip:** i cant stand yall

 **Tsumikan:** we love you too fuyuhiko-kun ^o^

 **hajimeme:** lol

 **shark week:** sup guys

 **shark week:** how yall feelin after the party

 **gamer girl gf:** like shit but thats like. normal

 **shark week:** me

 **shark week:** also what did u wear again sorry my memory of the night was so hazy djfhjdhfgjdg

 **token white girl:** She went as Link and I went as Zelda! ^^

 **shark week:** OH YEAH THAT WAS AWESOME

 **hajimeme:** i love how it fits bc link is shorter

 **gamer girl gf:** literally fuck you hajime

 **ryotAH:** mf literally came for the height jksdjfkdsjfs

 **teru fried chicken:** all this talk abt boobs is reminding me of something

 **mama-hiru:** teruteru i stg

 **teru fried chicken:** NO ITS NOT THAT SKDJSKFKSD

 **teru fried chicken:** its abt that meme where its like ‘i can hold the whole world in my arms’ and u just hug them

 **teru fried chicken:** but instead of hugging them u grab their boobs

 **ryotAH:** we’re hijacking that meme it’s for the gays now

 **gamer girl gf:** bro homo activity

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** yep 100%

 **gamer girl gf:** *me holding sonia’s boobs tenderly* ur my whole world

 **token white girl:** Love you too!!

 **hajimeme:** LMAOSHAHJD

 **teru fried chicken:** GIRL NKDGJKFJGFJS

 **shark week:** HAHAHAHGDSHASDGH

 **hajimeme:** tag urself me and nagito

 **komaeda <3: **oh um thank you hajime!!

 **minion gijinka:** me and mahiru

 **mama-hiru:** wow boob warm <3

 **minion gijinka:** yeah <3

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** my brain when i see women

 **ryotAH:** whoa gay people real

 **Tsumikan:** all is right in the world ^_^

 **ryotAH:** WHAT A MOOD

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** @stab me daddy peko-peko this is something we’d do!!! <3333

 **stab me daddy:** oh. i guess so.

 **stab me daddy:** <3

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** yay!!

 **boss baby timeskip:** r u both done fucking around w us now

 **minion gijinka:** theyre not denying it

 **gamer girl gf:** yeah

 **ryotAH:** they r dating in every sense of the word but one anyway wtf

 **shark week:** omg oomfs officially dating rn

 **hajimeme:** according to this hellhole u both r officially dating god bles

 **stab me daddy:** we’re not dating

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** we’re not dating

 **stab me daddy:** we do it as friends of course.

 **stab me daddy:** platonic boob grab, if that’s what you call it.

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** oh ibuki is very aware of that!!!! we did promise to always say no homo :^D

 **minion gijinka:** ALL MY INSIDES JUST FLEW RIGHT OUT OF MY ASSH OE L

 **teru fried chicken:** i

 **stab me daddy:** right. with friendly and platonic intentions.

 **stab me daddy:** as friends

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** as friends

 **stab me daddy:** that’s good to know.

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** yeah bro <3

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** WHAT THE FUCK.

**boss baby timeskip left the group**

**gamer girl gf:** god i wish that were me

 **hajimeme:** if someone doesnt come in my room in the next few minutes to murder me and burn my corpse im doing it myself

 **gamer girl gf:** shut up hajime somebody has to shoot me first wtf

 **mama-hiru:** it takes two ppl to stab me cmon guys me first

 **shark week:** uh

 **shark week:** dude is everyone here okay fr

 **hajimeme:** no

 **shark week:** ok understandable

 **mama-hiru:** screw it im going to the beer bottles

 **mama-hiru:** im turning to alchoholism

 **gamer girl gf:** wait wdym u havent started yet

 **hajimeme:** HUH CHIAKI WTFKE@&*&^@!?@*!

 **minion gijinka:** im supposed to stop mahiru from making bad decisions like she does for me especially since its a holiday today but u kno what go fucking ahead

 **token white girl:** ^

 **hajimeme:** NO. NO JSDFHSJF???

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** girl not sonia jadhsjhfjshl

 **hajimeme:** just so u 2 know this is ur fault

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** wtf ur such a cop hajime >:/

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** stop blaming the consequences of your bad choices on ibuki and her best friend peko-peko!!! this is ur grave so lie in it!!!

 **hajimeme:** JHSAJDHJSA??!@**&*&#!???

 **ryotAH:** IF I READ THE WORD ‘FRIEND’ ONE MORE TIME IM LEAVING

 **minion gijinka:** one day

 **minion gijinka:** one day someone will snap and u two will wake up w forks in ur shoulders and ur phones on fire

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** is that u

 **minion gijinka:** who fucking else

 **totally not a furry:** Not if someone snaps first, Saionji.

 **minion gijinka:** well let them i dont give a fuck if i hear them denying bullshit one more time it will become a reality

**xkuzuryu.fuyuhik0 joined the group**

**xkuzuryu.fuyuhik0 changed their nickname to boss baby timeskip**

**boss baby timeskip:** i’ll do it

 **boss baby timeskip:** sorry peko u and ur girlfriend drove me to this

 **stab me daddy:** she’s not my girlfriend

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** ibuki’s not her girlfriend

 **stab me daddy:** and we’re not dating

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** we’re not dating

 **gamer girl gf:** JFC

 **hajimeme:** bro i

 **mama-hiru:** I CANT LOOK AWAY THIS IS TOO FUCKING AWFUL

 **token white girl:** Well, this is troubling.

 **token white girl:** Why don’t you two date then?

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** sfjhsfj r u gonna pull an uno reverse on them i

 **boss baby timeskip:** don’t. i tried already and :/

 **teru fried chicken:** HO DONT DO IT

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** @token white girl why would ibuki and peko-peko date????

 **token white girl:** i

 **token white girl:** …you two are in love with each other?

 **gamer girl gf:** IN LOVE

 **shark week:** IN LOVE

 **ryotAH:** IN LOVE

 **stab me daddy:** in love? well yes, friends do love each other. i thought we already established that, but we’re not dating.

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** yeah best friends dont date each other guys :/

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** what the actual pissing monkey fuck

 **teru fried chicken:** god i crave death

 **minion gijinka:** u two DID MORE THAN JUST KISS ???

 **shark week:** i hate it here

 **hajimeme:** same

 **stab me daddy:** oh that. we already said no homo to each other. it’s not gay.

 **stab me daddy:** no homo.

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** no homo

 **hajimeme:** what. what

 **hajimeme:** akane im gonna need the recipe for that bleach and weed cocktail

 **minion gijinka:** one more word from you two and i WILL break my phone

 **mama-hiru:** hiyoko we dont have that much money rn

 **minion gijinka:** one more word from you two and i WILL leave this group

 **mama-hiru:** much better

 **gamer girl gf:** im well off in terms of cash bc of my streams atm so ill break mine instead for everyone’s satisfaction

 **token white girl:** And risk erasing my nudes, darling?

 **gamer girl gf:** a

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** WHAT iN FRESHH HOELL L

 **totally not a furry:** Dear LORD.

 **hajimeme:** TMI TMI TMI SONIA OH MY GOD FDOKGKSJ AFDJFJS DHGJSGH

 **mama-hiru:** FUCK YOU GUYS

**ryotAH left the group**

**shark week:** BYE*(@*(!#?*!0`!

 **minion gijinka:** WHJAHDJSAHFJKj?@?(*@!

 **teru fried chicken:** Hello, this is Tojo from first year. Hanamura-senpai threw his phone out of the kitchen window, but I caught it before it landed. May I ask for reasons why?

 **teru fried chicken:** Oh.

 **teru fried chicken:** I--uh. Have a good afternoon and Halloween. I’m sorry, and goodbye.

 **shark week:** WE SCARED HER OFF JSHFSDH|*(@*&(@_)@!

 **mama-hiru:** GOD I REALLY HATE YOU GUYS

 **boss baby timeskip:** same

 **stab me daddy:** nudes you say, sonia-san? i didn’t know you had it in you.

 **gamer girl gf:** fuck off peko go look at ibuki’s nudes instead or something

 **stab me daddy:** oh, ok. i will.

 **boss baby timeskip:** WHAT

 **boss baby timeskip:** THAT WAS. THAT WAS NOT SOMETHING I NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT MIODA. OR PEKO. WHAT THE FUCK

 **gamer girl gf:** @stab me daddy YO TAKE THAT BACK I WAS JOKING?????

 **hajimeme:** I. I.,.,.,., FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

 **minion gijinka:** WAIT SHE DIDNT SAY NO HOMO

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** OH?

 **shark week:** HOL UP

 **stab me daddy:** no homo of course. ibuki wouldn’t like it if i forgot.

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** yep yep!! thanks peko-peko!!

 **minion gijinka:** i hate this class and everything it stands for

 **COACH!:** HELLO EVERYONE THIS IS NIDAI NEKOMARU SPEAKING! I HAVE DECIDED TO DIVORCE YOU ALL AS MY FRIENDS DUE TO REASONS I HAVE SPECIFIED AS: THIS CLASS IS FULL OF IDIOTS. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING! HAVE A NICE DAY!

 **hajimeme:** lol mood

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** We made Nidai quit on us.

 **komaeda <3: **ah, i think it was a long time coming

 **teru fried chicken:** is no one gonna add ryota back

* * *

**two bros alone on an island sitting 5 ft apart bc theyre not gay**

**[5:07 PM]**

**hajimeme:** im going to die

 **hajimeme:** i really cannot stand it here what the fuck

 **Tsumikan:** >< do you need medical assistance hajime-kun?

 **hajimeme:** no im good but like

 **hajimeme:** i have no idea what ive done in my past lives to deserve this but what the ever loving fuck. i would rather apologize for my old sins and repent holy shit

 **hajimeme:** oh mighty deity from above absolve me of this carnage

 **komaeda <3: **hajime? do you need me to come there?

 **hajimeme:** no its just

 **hajimeme:** CHIAKI AND KAZUICHI WONT STFU

 **hajimeme:** this is why i hate it when theyre in the same room i swear to every god that is up there

 **mama-hiru:** what’s going on this time?

 **gamer girl gf:** im just saying facts and he wont back off

 **shark week:** SHUT UP

 **shark week:** chiaki wont accept the fact that fuyuhiko is best blonde partner >:(

 **gamer girl gf:** im sorry r u sure bc clearly sonia is the superior blonde partner tf

 **shark week:** me simping for her in half of our first year doesnt mean i agree w u bro

 **shark week:** besides she was like. my realization and awakening to Wait I’m Actually Gay

 **gamer girl gf:** lying will get u nowhere dude :/

 **shark week:** fuck off bro :/

 **mama-hiru:** oh. oh no

 **hajimeme:** yeah

 **mama-hiru:** theyre ignoring us arent they

 **hajimeme:** yeah

 **shark week:** what i think chiaki’s missing is the fact that CLEARLY fuyuhiko is the finer blonde specimen

 **gamer girl gf:** fact of the matter: sonia is best-looking blonde partner

 **shark week:** mf cant compare to the wholeass YAKUZA

 **gamer girl gf:** souda i will hunt u for sport

 **gamer girl gf:** ur full of shit. so is baby gangsta over there

 **boss baby timeskip:** hi what the fuck

 **token white girl:** Um, Chiaki?

 **gamer girl gf:** SEE SONIA IS POLITE

 **shark week:** WELL FUYUHIKO’S STRAIGHTFORWARD

 **ryotAH:** can u two not start anything wtf

 **shark week:** yeah well fuyu doesnt need to capitalize his shit bc he can express his thoughts in an honest way so suck on that

 **gamer girl gf:** sonia’s smart and has been consistent in the top 5 for our year dickshit

 **shark week:** fuyuhiko’s full name is longer

 **gamer girl gf:** sonia’s is short and sweet length doesnt mean anything bitch

 **boss baby timeskip:** @hajimeme @mama-hiru what the hell is going on

 **token white girl:** Yes, I’m curious as well.

 **hajimeme:** idk i have no idea either

 **mama-hiru:** same

 **shark week:** gender equality

 **shark week:** i will bitchslap u and ur second rate blonde partner to hokkaido

 **gamer girl gf:** oh??? oh???? ur throwing hands w me??? well ill bitchslap u first and ur second rate blonde partner to fucking taiwan. i dont give a single fuck

 **hajimeme:** ARE THEY FR

 **mama-hiru:** i cant tell lmfao

 **token white girl:** Shouldn’t we be stopping them?

 **boss baby timeskip:** no wait hold on this is kinda funny

 **teru fried chicken:** is no one gonna mention the fact that apparently kuzuryu and souda r dating

 **shark week:** FUYUHIKO HAS A TONED ASS BOD

 **gamer girl gf:** SONIA DOES FENCING SHE HAS NICE MUSCLES TOO

 **token white girl:** I can tell nothing is really happening so I’m leaving…?

 **boss baby timeskip:** oh yeah me 2. btw ur costume at the party was cool

 **token white girl:** Oh thank you! Yours too, Kuzuryu-kun. Although I may prefer the occult over the Wild West, yours was still well-made.

 **boss baby timeskip:** ty

 **boss baby timeskip:** lets dip

 **token white girl:** Right. Of course.

 **hajimeme:** lol

 **shark week:** FUYUHIKO HAS THAT BADASS SCAR ON HIS EYE HE GOT FROM A SWORDFIGHT IN A DARK ALLEY ITS COOL AS SHIT

 **gamer girl gf:** YEAH WELL SONIA CAN READ AND WRITE IN 30 LANGUAGES THAT’S HOT AS SHIT FUCK YOU

 **shark week:** FUYUHIKO HAS FRECKLES

 **gamer girl gf:** SONIA’S IS LESS OBVIOUS BUT SHE DOES TOO AND SHE HAS DIMPLES

 **shark week:** FUYUHIKO BEST BLONDE

 **gamer girl gf:** SONIA BEST BLONDE

 **mama-hiru:** you know what fuck it

 **hajimeme:** MAHIRU???

 **ryotAH:** oh god no

 **mama-hiru:** HIYOKO BEST BLONDE GIRLFRIEND YOU BOTH FUCKING SUCK

 **mama-hiru:** I’LL BITCHSLAP BOTH OF YOUR SECOND-RATE BLONDES TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLOBE

 **shark week:** HIYOKO IS RUDE AS FUCK???

 **gamer girl gf:** fucking fight me rn koizumi

 **mama-hiru:** have you two even seen her dance on stage??? she has the legs. the stamina. the coordination. the form. SHES PICTURE PERFECT AND ETHEREAL GET FUCKED

 **gamer girl gf:** ill pimp slap you

 **shark week:** i wont hesitate to bitchslap you both and ur inferior blondes

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** @hajimeme What’s going on?

 **hajimeme:** i. idk

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** Oh. So the usual? Alright.

 **hajimeme:** :/

 **totally not a furry:** I believe you mortals are forgetting something.

 **shark week:** wtf do u want now gundham

 **gamer girl gf:** this isnt ur fight man back off

 **mama-hiru:** what they said

 **totally not a furry:** Put aside your hatred.

 **totally not a furry:** In my opinion, the best blonde is indeed the Queen of Darkness. But if you three are not able to decide, at least we all agree on Enoshima being the _worst_ blonde, correct?

 **mama-hiru:**.

 **shark week:**.

 **gamer girl gf:**.

 **mama-hiru:** JUNKO WORST BLONDE

 **shark week:** ENOSHIMA’S NOT EVEN SECOND-RATE MF IS LIKE TENTH OR SHIT

 **gamer girl gf:** I’LL BITCHSLAP HER STUPID ASS TO THE NEAREST SATELLITE

 **shark week:** CHIAKI LET ME DO IT ILL GUARANTEE SHE WONT EVEN FEEL LIKE SHE HAD HER BEHIND IN THE FIRST PLACE

 **mama-hiru:** SHE DOESNT DESERVE TO BE IN THE SAME CATEGORY W OUR BLONDE PARTNERS

 **shark week:** OK BUT MY BOYFRIEND IS STILL BEST BLONDE

 **gamer girl gf:** FUCK NO

 **mama-hiru:** SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU TWO HIYOKO IS SUPERIOR

 **hajimeme:** oh no. oh god

 **totally not a furry:** Ah. It didn’t work. Oh well.

 **hajimeme:** NOOOO DON’T LEAVE ME GUNDHAM

 **ryotAH:** ykno you r all so fucking smooth brained

 **ryotAH:** YALL FORGOT ONE MORE THING

 **shark week:** AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT NOODLE MAN

 **gamer girl gf:** tf do u got to say

 **mama-hiru:** make sure what u say next is fucking relevant mitarai

 **ryotAH:** OF FUCKING COURSE. IM FUCKING RELEVANT

 **ryotAH:** IMPOSTOR BEST BLONDE. YOU ARE ALL SO STUPID

 **mama-hiru:**.

 **shark week:**.

 **gamer girl gf:**.

 **shark week:** uh. shit he’s right

 **gamer girl gf:** damn

 **mama-hiru:** well then

 **mama-hiru:** CHIAKI KAZUICHI WATCH YOUR BACKS ILL BITCHSLAP YOU AND YOUR THIRD RATE BLONDES TO THE NEXT CONTINENT

 **shark week:** FUYUHIKO SECOND BEST BLONDE

 **gamer girl gf:** YOU ARE ALL HOT SHIT SONIA IS CLEARLY DESERVING OF SECOND PLACE

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** I--uh.

 **ryotAH:** sshhh i defended ur honor just let them be

 **shark week:** FUCK YALL LOOK AT THIS

 **shark week:** fuyuworkingout.jpeg

 **shark week:** you see it???? you see it????

 **shark week:** that shit is SCULPTED

 **mama-hiru:** you guys are so dumb fr i have like 0 confidence in yall except hiyoko jfc

 **mama-hiru:** if u two mfs want to know i have photographic evidence to prove that perfect blondes, like hiyoko, exist aside from the better togami

 **ryotAH:** lol

 **gamer girl gf:** fuck you guys ive seen sonia in all states and even naked and guess what??? theyre all perfect. i will kick yalls ass on the next game night

 **shark week:** bring it bitch

 **mama-hiru:** u both fucking suck

 **hajimeme:** we really need a life oh my god

* * *

**two bros alone on an island sitting 5 ft apart bc theyre not gay**

**[11:01 PM]**

**togami 2 electric boogaloo:** Question for those awake.

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** …does anyone hear erotic moaning?

 **COACH!:** EVERYONE IS AWAKE!

 **boss baby timeskip:** ok but that was tactless as shit

 **shark week:** ur one to talk babe

 **boss baby timeskip:** nvm

 **token white girl:** Tact is bull in this class, Kuzuryu-kun.

 **ryotAH:** facts

 **gamer girl gf:** dw bro all of us hear it

 **Tsumikan:** yes ><

 **minion gijinka:** NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN DON’T MAKE ME BRING OUT MY COPYPASTA

 **boss baby timeskip:** is it hajime and komaeda

 **hajimeme:** why does everyone keep assuming its me and nagito tf

 **hajimeme:** we’re just having animated movie night again,,, and even if we did do whatever we will be subtle abt it

 **hajimeme:** unlike some bitches

 **boss baby timeskip:** oh my god its peko and mioda again isnt it

 **teru fried chicken:** OOP

 **shark week:** oh lol i was asleep for that almost the entire night when that fiasco happened lmao i never got the gist of it

 **gamer girl gf:** same

 **totally not a furry:** You wouldn’t get it.

 **Tsumikan:** Yes, you won’t.

 **komaeda <3: **that night was so odd in its own way that even gundham-kun and tsumiki-san isnt willing to talk about it

 **mama-hiru:** guys theyre totally fucking

 **minion gijinka:** willing to bet 300 yen they are

 **teru fried chicken:** ^ 200

 **gamer girl gf:** oh ill add in 500 yen that they arent bc its funny

 **hajimeme:** UHM????

 **boss baby timeskip:** 1000 yen on yes

 **ryotAH:** 500 yen on yes

 **totally not a furry:** Also 500 yen on yes, mortals.

 **mama-hiru:** we’re all voting on yes anyway but do some of u wanna say otherwise

 **token white girl:** I'll just add 1000 on No to even the odds.

 **mama-hiru:** gotchu

 **hajimeme:** R WE SERIOUSLY BETTING USING OUR CLASSMATE’S SEX LIVES WHAT IN FRESH HELL

 **komaeda <3: **actually, i'm thinking of betting on the No side too!!! 300 yen :D

 **hajimeme:** NAGITO NO

 **mama-hiru:** damn now maybe they arent actually fucking now that u of all people bet that

 **boss baby timeskip:** nah those two r weird even komaeda cant outluck whatever the fuck is happening between those two

 **mama-hiru:** …fair

 **komaeda <3: **i am not able to confirm that, but that’s what i believe as well!!

 **ryotAH:** LOL

 **gamer girl gf:** how r we gonna find out if theyre fucking tho

 **hajimeme:** just ask them in the morning like normal, functional people

 **gamer girl gf:** pftt boring

 **hajimeme:** UM.

 **boss baby timeskip:** yeah dude

 **boss baby timeskip:** who’s willing to scale the building to the 3rd floor of the girls dorm,, ofc no dudes allowed bc that’s still peko and ill fuck yall over if u even dare try

 **gamer girl gf:** ping akane see if she’s awake

 **Tsumikan:** @gordon ramsay content enjoyer

 **ryotAH:** @gordon ramsay content enjoyer

 **token white girl:** @gordon ramsay content enjoyer

 **mama-hiru:** @gordon ramsay content enjoyer

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:**????

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : yo guys whats up

 **gamer girl gf:** scroll up queen

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : kk

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : oh i can totally do that

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : ez pz actually

 **gamer girl gf:** nice

 **shark week:** damn thats cool

 **token white girl:** I like that in a woman. 

**gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : whoa 😳

 **gamer girl gf:** yo 😳

 **ryotAH:** gay

 **hajimeme:** theres no stopping u guys is there

 **boss baby timeskip:** no. not really dude

 **hajimeme:** @togami 2 electric boogaloo @COACH! why arent u guys saying anything

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** It’s better to just watch, Hinata-kun.

 **COACH!:** AGREED!!!

 **hajimeme:** on god

 **gamer girl gf:** here’s the plan gaymers

 **gamer girl gf:** maybe around 4 of us go out of the dorms to keep watch over akane. the first 2 stay under akane at all times in case she falls, which i don’t think she will but just in case, while other 2 keep watch in case any person sees us

 **hajimeme:** WHY R WE TREATING THIS LIKE A SPY OPERATION@?#!??#??? WHAT????/

 **mama-hiru:** might as well

 **hajimeme:** OH MY GOD??? GUYS???

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : good thinking yo

 **gamer girl gf:** ay

 **hajimeme:** STOP IGNORING ME WTF

 **minion gijinka:** i’ll volunteer as one of the catchers

 **Tsumikan:** me too!! in case she falls and gets any injuries !!

 **mama-hiru:** hiyoko

 **minion gijinka:** yea yea ill be nice i promise

 **mama-hiru:** :)

 **ryotAH:** bitch 😭😭 ur so whipped sjdjksfjsfkj 😭😭

 **minion gijinka:** SHUT THE FUCK UP

 **boss baby timeskip:** ill keep watch

 **shark week:** im going w him ^

 **hajimeme:** nuh uh u fuckers need a responsible adult so IM going w fuyuhiko

 **gamer girl gf:** dad friend hajime emerges from the shell

 **shark week:** oh ok :D

 **gamer girl gf:** OH MY GOD DID YOU GUYS HEAR THAT

 **teru fried chicken:** LMAOOOO PEKOYAMA SOUNDS SO BLISSED OUT

 **hajimeme:** TERUTERU I SWEAR TO GODKS@*&!*@

 **mama-hiru:** THEYRE TOTALLY FUCKING

 **gamer girl gf:** whatever guys we need to go and see

* * *

**two bros alone on an island sitting 5 ft apart bc theyre not gay**

**[11:23 PM]**

**gamer girl gf:** YALL

 **gamer girl gf:** YALL TALK TO ME WHATS THE STATUS

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : they arent fucking

 **gamer girl gf:** damn :/

 **mama-hiru:** WHAT IN TARNATION??/ ?

 **teru fried chicken:** what the hell ARE they doing then

 **boss baby timeskip:** yeah wtf did u see

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : well ibuki IS straddling peko but like

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : and like. if u word it in the right way ibuki is using the magic fingers (hehe)

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : but

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : its just a massage

 **ryotAH:** R U FUCKING W US RN

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : nope

 **boss baby timeskip:** the fuck

 **minion gijinka:** ok but private massages??? between those two??? not fucking platonic in the slightest

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : ahaha well

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : u and mikan saw me when i panicked and almost fell right

 **Tsumikan:** yes!! we were so scared for you!!

 **minion gijinka:** i wasnt

 **mama-hiru:** she definitely was

 **minion gijinka:** babe </3

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : see

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : i would be convinced it was just a friendly massage but

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : guys

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer** : peko was TOPLESS yo

 **boss baby timeskip:** BRUH I

 **gamer girl gf:** AJHjuh!u@???!((#$

 **mama-hiru:** SHE WAS WHAT\ZKJSK(@??#_!~

 **minion gijinka:** 8*&@??!))sjna!&%^@

 **Tsumikan:** UM

 **token white girl:** That is…

 **hajimeme:** THAT. THAT IS NOT PLATONIC IN THE SLIGHTEST

 **totally not a furry:** Agreed.

 **shark week:** FOR FUCKING REAL BRO

 **gamer girl gf:** GUYS

 **gamer girl gf:** u know we can just ask them to knock off the ‘bro and best friends’ act bc i know theyre doing it intentionally just to mess w us but like

 **gamer girl gf:** i rlly,,,,, rlly,,,,, want a teeny tiny bit of revenge

 **komaeda <3: **i see where this is going.

 **gamer girl gf:** yeah, yeah,,,

 **hajimeme:**????

 **gamer girl gf:** guys

 **gamer girl gf:** everyone delete ur messages come morning

 **gamer girl gf:** bc i have a plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huh. i wonder what they r planning,,, what will they do
> 
> also my friend is working on celesgiri fanfic and im a beta for it and can i just say i love how its going so far!! yro if ur reading this if u finish it i Will bully u into posting it <3


	10. remy from ratatoowee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **shark week:** lol imagine chiaki and komaeda sniffing coke and then they’re being asked to text here what do u think would happen
> 
>  **mama-hiru:** what makes u think they arent already sniffing coke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> adding sonia/chiaki/akane bc wow,,,,, i cannot decide on one ship. whats new
> 
> also sorry for being slow on updating i got busy doing beta work and college is merciless. read let me find you in the dark by ao3 user Livali very sexy very cool very fresh.

**peko’s bitches**

**[10:14 AM]**

**hajimeme:** sunday morning guys

 **hajimeme:** huh what does the new group name mean y is there like 200+ new messages jfc

 **hajimeme:** WAIT WHAT HAPPENED WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** Oh right. You quit and went to sleep when Nanami started planning. tldr; they locked Pekoyama and Mioda in a room, everything fell apart and well, you don’t really want to know.

 **hajimeme:** i

 **hajimeme:** i kinda want to

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** Are you sure?

 **hajimeme:** uh

 **hajimeme:** well

 **hajimeme:** haha

 **hajimeme:** no

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** Good.

 **hajimeme:** why does that look so ominous

 **hajimeme:** ok but nawww fr wtf happened :/

 **totally not a furry:** JsjT32A4HjKpqB2.jpeg

 **totally not a furry:** gQmBhT91PrR27a.jpeg

 **totally not a furry:** Lq8mrAyTR5m7n2.jpeg

 **hajimeme:** gundham what

 **hajimeme:** WAIT HUH

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** morning yall got any broken bones still

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** OHHH HAHAHAHAHA THE PICS FROM LAST NIGHT but rlly they blurry bro

 **hajimeme:** UM BROKEN WHAT NOW

 **hajimeme:** i. I . i,.,..,., what the fuck happened akane

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** the incident

 **hajimeme:** uh

 **hajimeme:** please. please elaborate

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** no

 **hajimeme:** why not what the fuck

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** no

 **hajimeme:** u have no rights

 **hajimeme:** @everyone ?????

 **gamer girl gf:** what she said hajime

 **gamer girl gf:** the incident

 **minion gijinka:** no one’s gonna explain it to u dickwad trust me

 **hajimeme:** yall r on thin ice

 **token white girl:** Don’t question it, Hajime-kun.

 **hajimeme:** wgar tje fuck

 **stab me daddy:** calm down.

 **stab me daddy:** everyone’s just my bitch now.

 **hajimeme:** HUH

 **hajimeme:** WHAY IN FRESHJ HWLL??&@??*@!?!?

 **hajimeme:** YPIR BTICH?/??/

 **hajimeme:** PEKO DON’T GO OFFLINE WITHOUT EXPLAINING WHAT THAT MEANS WHAT THE FUCK

 **komaeda <3: **its exactly what she said hajime :)

 **hajimeme:** NAGITO????

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** yeah exactly what she said hajimom!!

 **ryotAH:** aye

 **ryotAH:** we’re all her bitches now

 **hajimeme:** im searing my retinas

 **hajimeme:** guys im serious :/

 **hajimeme:** also what. how. why

 **hajimeme:** what does that entail

 **minion gijinka:** r u fuckin daft hinata

 **minion gijinka:** it means ur her bitch

 **hajimeme:** once again i am asking for a brain transplant give it to anyone i just want out

 **boss baby timeskip:** ok but i didnt know she had it in her fr

 **shark week:** yeah ^ what the fuck was that night srs

 **hajimeme:** CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST TELL ME

 **teru fried chicken:** chill on the caps bro

 **hajimeme:** THEN TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

 **teru fried chicken:** no <3

 **hajimeme:** i am now asking for a life refund from god

* * *

**peko’s bitches**

**[1:11 AM]**

**gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** the mood foh this 1 am is me crying over this video of a chef dropping this rlly good pot roast

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** restinpisspotroast.mp4

 **teru fried chicken:** pain. torture.

 **teru fried chicken:** not funny. did not laugh

 **boss baby timeskip:** stop texting wasted servings of pot roast at 1 am in this gc challenge

 **totally not a furry:** Disagree. That was good pot roast.

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** ^

 **COACH!:** ^

 **komaeda <3: **^

 **shark week:** babe would u rather go w chiaki texting weird shit at this same exact time instead

 **gamer girl gf:** guys what do u think would happen if the earth’s gravity was denser

 **gamer girl gf:** haha do u think we would look. rlly compressed looking,, like those looney tunes characters after they get crushed by an anvil or something

 **gamer girl gf:** wow our arms and legs wld b near each other that way

 **gamer girl gf:** walking sounds.wav be like: flat. squishy.squelch squelch

 **gamer girl gf:** chwick chwick chwick

 **shark week:** oh god i manifested it and it WORKED

 **boss baby timeskip:** what the fuck

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** You concern me most times, Nanami.

 **hajimeme:** chiaki go back to sleep

 **gamer girl gf:** how do u guys think can i scratch my ass or pick my nose in that form what do i even call myself

 **komaeda <3: **flesh frisbee

 **gamer girl gf:** yes exactly

 **gamer girl gf:** ur literally the only one who gets me nagito fr

 **ryotAH:** i

 **hajimeme:** chiaki nagito stop speaking like rn

 **mama-hiru:** FLESH FRISBEE,,..,.,.,.,.

 **gamer girl gf:** lol wait we’re closer to the ground now. i can just use the earth like a scratching post

 **komaeda <3: **or you can rub yourself against a tree like horses do :o

 **gamer girl gf:** oh yea oh yea

 **Tsumikan:** it’s not too late to seek help! please go to the clinic or contact your local therapist or psychiatrist for more info! 0XXX-XXX-XXXX!

 **teru fried chicken:** KSHJAJKHDJSAHFAS

 **hajimeme:** @token white girl go get ur dog bitch

 **token white girl:** On my way.

 **minion gijinka:** im divorcing yall as my classmates

 **komaeda <3: **she’s just being contemplative, hajime. it's not that bad

 **gamer girl gf:** yea im just beeing filocofical sonia dont cum

 **teru fried chicken:** cum lol

 **ryotAH:** filocofical

 **hajimeme:** did u gorge on our monster supply again chiaki

 **hajimeme:** y do u do this every monday on 1:11 am

 **gamer girl gf:** everyone’s 2 much of a pussy to ask

 **gamer girl gf:** who else would do it?? god?

 **hajimeme:** those who do meth maybe

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** oh so like me

 **token white girl:** i

 **COACH!:** EXCUSE ME?

 **hajimeme:** akane what.

 **shark week:** lol imagine chiaki and komaeda sniffing coke and then they’re being asked to text here what do u think would happen

 **mama-hiru:** what makes u think they arent already sniffing coke

 **teru fried chicken:** they’d be asking us what would happen if flashlights and fleshlights from all around the world switched places for like a few seconds

 **mama-hiru:** teruteru i

 **shark week:** i take it back. UR THE WORST

 **ryotAH:** i wake up and read this with my two own eyes

 **Tsumikan:** electric chair

 **boss baby timeksip:** sausage block

 **mama-hiru:** burn him at the pyre

 **gamer girl gf:** teru squared i have more class dude

 **gamer girl gf:** i'd be saying things like what if monkey piss was in the legal market

 **ryotAH:** chiaki those sleeping pills looking good rn r u sure u dont want any

 **totally not a furry:** It’s telling that you would think of texting that when you’re not even under the influence yet, mortal.

 **gamer girl gf:** oh. u right u right

 **komaeda <3: **what would happen if all the joints on our toes were reversed

 **hajimeme:** i am contacting the nearest therapist for this entire CLASS

 **shark week:** damn bro u rich or something???

 **shark week:** they kinda cost a bunch

 **ryotAH:** omg hajime rich

 **gamer girl gf:** eat the flesh of the capitalists

 **ryotAH:** devour the rich

 **minion gijinka:** hinata guillotine

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** ohhh haha that rhymes w byzantine

 **komaeda <3: **morphine

 **teru fried chicken:** limousine

 **ryotAH:** nicotine

 **gamer girl gf:** histamine

 **shark week:** watch that scene

 **minion gijinka:** digging the dancing queen

 **gamer girl gf:** poggers

 **hajimeme:** one word. therapist

 **hajimeme:** ur all giving me brain damage

 **hajimeme:** and im literally BROKE

 **gamer girl gf:** oh yea guys 78A did this game thing where fujisaki changed everyone’s names to something rlly stupid or embarrassing they did and everyone else has to guess

 **hajimeme:** we’re not playing that fuck you

 **ryotAH:** would be really funny tho lol

 **gamer girl gf:** ofc not its their brand now

 **gamer girl gf:** i asked fujisaki to hack into ur search histories so we’re going to guess each other’s google searches instead

 **hajimeme:** NO

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** oop

 **mama-hiru:** evil

 **token white girl:** Well, I mean it’s okay as long as it’s not personal things?

 **hajimeme:** sonia i mean this w all due respect but ur biased bc she’s ur girlfriend

 **boss baby timeskip:** she’s not wrong tho

 **gamer girl gf:** yea dw i took the funny shit

 **hajimeme:** BUT STILL

 **hajimeme:** NO

 **minion gijinka:** i mean i don’t remember searching anything weird so thats not my problem fuck yall

 **shark week:** suddenly i have many fears

 **hajimeme:** is there something we need to know about you kazuichi

 **shark week:** IM REFERRRING TO EVEYRONE ELESE

 **gamer girl gf:** stfu u losers im starting

 **gamer girl gf:** first one is ‘does putting hot cheetos in the freezer make them less spicy’

 **minion gijinka:** which dumbfuck searched that

 **gamer girl gf:** haha science go brrrrr

 **hajimeme:** shut up chiaki u literally talked about us turning into flesh frisbees if the earth had denser gravity

 **komaeda <3: ***i* said flesh frisbees :/ stop crediting the wrong person hajime

 **boss baby timeskip:** im convinced some of u r overworking the one (1) same brain cell and it just gets tossed around in a game of hot potato

 **totally not a furry:** Of course you would know, Kuzuryu.

 **boss baby timeskip:** WH

 **shark week:** take this L king

 **minion gijinka:** hamster man just fucking destroyed u lmaooo

 **boss baby timeskip:** i CANNOT fucking believe this. this is slander

 **mama-hiru:** ok but who did put the cheetos in the freezer

 **shark week:** YOU MEAN THEY REALLY DID IT LMAO

 **mama-hiru:** lol yea teruteru and i saw it after dinner but i didnt say anything bc nekomaru and i were helping him through his meltdown

 **COACH!:** Can confirm!

 **teru fried chicken:** WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT

 **COACH!:** She’s my training buddy and I dislike exposing her this way, but Akane hasn’t been saying anything.

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** i

 **gamer girl gf:** correctt

 **hajimeme:** akane what

 **shark week:** why does it make sense

 **ryotAH:** lol

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** nekomaru i trusted u. i trusted u wholly. My compadre. My homiee. My awesome training buddy. My bro

 **teru fried chicken:** akane ur on sight

 **teru fried chicken:** friendship ended. ur not my taste tester anymore

 **minion gijinka:** LMAO GET FUCKED

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** remy ur my homie dont do this to me

 **gamer girl gf:** not on u calling teruteru remy from ratatoowee

 **mama-hiru:** …ratatoowee

 **hajimeme:** i. chiaki. i dont think thats how u spell ratatouille.

 **gamer girl gf:** ratatoowee

 **komaeda <3: **ratatoowee

 **shark week:** girl not komaeda s jhfhsjfhdjg

 **hajimeme:** my brain matter is decaying

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** fuck u guys frozen hot cheetos taste good

 **minion gijinka:** cheetos never taste good

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** saionji i will liquidate u into the ground

 **mama-hiru:** ok but u still put the cheetos in the freezer hoping to make them less spicy dshfskfhkds

 **minion gijinka:** brain tissues rotting REAL

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** i mean,,,,,, it didnt make them less spicy but it still stands

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** THEYRE GOOD

 **teru fried chicken:** disgusting. revolting. nauseating. you HELLION. this is HERESY

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** STOP BULLYING ME

 **gamer girl gf:** i mean. this second google search is hmmm too

 **gamer girl gf:** ‘whats headmaster kirigiri’s last name’

 **hajimeme:** I????

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** HAHAHAHDSGAHDG

 **minion gijinka:** LMAOSFSKF(@*#!??#(@*(

 **ryotAH:** MF WHATSJHED!H!MKR?*(#$)%$&

 **mama-hiru:** WHY IS THIS CLASS SO DUMB WHAT THE FUCK

 **ryotAH:** how r we in third year and not falling apart

 **gamer girl gf:** what makes u assume we arent falling apart

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** Why are we even allowed in this school.

 **boss baby timeskip:** its kaz isnt it

 **gamer girl gf:** yeah

 **shark week:** BABE WHAT NOOOOO

 **minion gijinka:** i shouldve known

 **hajimeme:** kazuichi pls tell me im hallucinating rn

 **shark week:** u guys know those bowl full of skittles in the common room

 **shark week:** i ate all of it

 **komaeda <3: **oh, so that’s where those went

 **shark week:** yeah then somehow i got the weirdest sugar high and that. came out

 **boss baby timeskip:** y am i morosexual

 **mama-hiru:** mf channelled his inner ibuki

 **komaeda <3: **that implies all of us have urges that r uniquely attributed to mioda-san’s mannerisms

 **gamer girl gf:** duh nagito :l

 **gamer girl gf:** y do u think u have thoughts of screaming from the rooftop dressed up in a teletubby costume or licking the bulletin board in the classroom sometimes. its obviously our inner ibuki

 **totally not a furry:** Interesting.

 **boss baby timeskip:** this doesn’t change the fact my bf is dumb as shit

 **shark week:** SHUT UP IT WAS A GOOD DECISION I GOT TO SEE GOD

 **hajimeme:** ok mr. poor life choices keep talking

 **shark week:** ok sarcastic asshole

 **hajimeme:** ok temporary simp

 **shark week:** ok boomerang ahoge

 **hajimeme:** ok cant spell gorgeous

 **shark week:** HEY I CAN SPELL GORGIES JUST FINE

 **minion gijinka:** gorgies

 **teru fried chicken:** gorgies

 **ryotAH:** gorgies

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** me leaving chiaki and sonia on read bc i accidentally said gorgies instead of gorgeous in the dms and now i cant look at them in the eye

 **hajimeme:** why is that very, very specific

 **token white girl:** akanespellinggorgies.jpeg

 **gamer girl gf:** lol

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** SONIA WHAT THE FUCK

 **mama-hiru:** LMAO

 **boss baby timeskip:** u and kaz literally have the same brain cell what the fuck

 **shark week:** this is dumbass oppression </3

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** yeah </3

 **mama-hiru:** how. how can u misspell that when HAJIME LITRALLY TEXTED IT BEFORE U????

 **shark week:** thats just the cavities talking

 **minion gijinka:** r u sure it isnt the brain damage

 **shark week:** damn ok hiyoko no need to publicize that i have a reputation

 **boss baby timeskip:** good god why am i here talking w u people

 **hajimeme:** ok but y r u still here then :/

 **teru fried chicken:** schadenfreude

 **komaeda <3: **do you truly know what that word means?

 **teru fried chicken:** no not rlly i just heard sonia say it once

 **ryotAH:** lol

 **token white girl:** Can I say the third one chiaki? :D please?

 **gamer girl gf:** lol k i gave u the list anyways choose n have fun

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** oh she went to ur room??

 **gamer girl gf:** yea

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** cool cool

 **token white girl:** ‘is it flirting if her boobs are right in front of your face or is that just a friends thing’

 **mama-hiru:** WHO IS THIS WHY R THEY DENSE AS SHIT

 **mama-hiru:** if her tits r literally stuffed right in ur face and its staying there then im pretty sure its flirting. she wanted it there now go w it

 **minion gijinka:** boobies in the mouthie

 **teru fried chicken:** honkers in the kissers

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** udders in the muzzlers

 **shark week:** knockers in the choppers

 **hajimeme:** in exchange of my irreparable massive brain damage i will pay you all to shut up

 **boss baby timeskip:** ok but with what money

 **hajimeme:** 200 yen and this lint in my pocket

 **minion gijinka:** u can only buy our silence w 20k yen and a month’s pledge to our pages

 **hajimeme:** what the fuck is this loot box p2w content-locked bullcrap

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** is no one gonna guess who the search is or

 **hajimeme:** idk

 **hajimeme:** peko and ibuki r offline in their own world cuddling and already stopped trolling us?? and most of the girls in class r already dating

 **hajimeme:** also mikan’s not interested in anyone and shes cleared that to us already so

 **minion gijinka:** hold on

 **minion gijinka:** hey owari did u hug someone lately

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** i hug a lot of yall all the time?? except u tho bc ur like a rabid dog w affection unless its koizumi lol

 **minion gijinka:** WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST CALL ME.

 **mama-hiru:** lol

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** oh maybe sonia and chiaki more than the others bc it just how it be

 **hajimeme:** oh. oh my god.

 **teru fried chicken:** nice

 **ryotAH:** nice

 **shark week:** nice

 **boss baby timeskip:** nice

 **komaeda <3: **chiaki’s been awfully quiet

 **token white girl:** Correct!

 **gamer girl gf:** SONIA WHY ME

 **token white girl:** I’m overthrowing the parliament, darling. You were in my way. <3

 **gamer girl gf:** i

 **minion gijinka:** HAHAHAHDSGHAD

 **mama-hiru:** local ultimate princess snatches 77B class rep total authority

 **ryotAH:** NOT ON SONIA THROWING SHADE ON HER OWN GIRLFRINED LMAODJKA

 **teru fried chicken:** frined

 **ryotAH:** fuck you

 **gamer girl gf:** this is betrayal. this is TREASON

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** wouldnt be treason if its consented

 **hajimeme:** wh-what.

 **hajimeme:** consented treason??? what. akane w-what.

 **mama-hiru:** if someone here types out another stutter intentionally im cancelling u

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** lol chiaki wat would u do if there _were_ boobs stuffed in ur face. do u rlly think its flirting

 **token white girl:** ^

 **gamer girl gf:** i dont know maybe ill get cardiac arrest or something.

 **gamer girl gf:** and idk

 **gamer girl gf:** u tell me?

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** what if hypothetically,,, someone does it again. to u. like rn . pure bobbies in da face

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** what would u do

 **gamer girl gf:** gotta know who that someone is first akane

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** its a what if chiaki

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** we dont need names

 **gamer girl gf:** i need a name

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** hypothetical

 **token white girl:** Curious and curiouser. What would you do, love?

 **gamer girl gf:** well stop ganging up on me

 **gamer girl gf:** somebodys gotta say something first

 **token white girl:** Oh?

 **gamer girl gf:** yeah. stop being subtle u kno

 **token white girl:** I see.

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** cool cool

 **shark week:** WHAT THE FLYING FUCK IS HAPPENING RN

 **boss baby timeskip:** y do i feel like we’re witnessing an affair

 **token white girl:** An affair you say? What do you mean by that?

 **ryotAH:** pack it up lesbians

 **minion gijinka:** god i hate it here so much its unreal

 **mama-hiru:** owari i see u lmao

 **hajimeme:** u r all shortening my life span

 **komaeda <3: **it’s not too late to join the rest of us in that therapist deal, hajime

 **hajimeme:** ugh

* * *

**Nanami Chiaki > Hinata Hajime**

**[1:57 AM]**

**Chiaki:** help

 **Hajime:** akane

 **Chiaki:** yea

 **Chiaki:** shes been flirting w both sonia and i for months even before and after we started dating idk how to deal w this helapdsfjskf

 **Hajime:** do u like like her

 **Chiaki:** poggerific

 **Hajime:** does sonia also like like her

 **Chiaki:** pogchamp

 **Hajime:** does she like like you both

 **Chiaki:** hopefully

 **Hajime:** then why tf and what tf is happening y arent u three being gay yet. u and sonia r literally the biggest girl kissers i know

 **Chiaki:** shut up hajime

 **Chiaki:** sonia’s playing hard to get and theyre both liking but i?? me. do not function. brain failure. too gay

 **Hajime:** lol

 **Hajime:** how r u so calm all the time and class rep but also be this dumb

 **Chiaki:** idk

 **Hajime:** chiaki my brain is decaying im not the ultimate matchmaker just go get ur other girlfriend u loser girl kisser

 **Chiaki:** i hate u

 **Chiaki:** wher r u btw

 **Hajime:** w nagito

 **Chiaki:** damn clapping ass

 **Chiaki:** getting cheek

 **Hajime:** im blocking u chiaki

 **Chiaki:** deadass ??

 **Chiaki:** the people only loathed me for telling the truth

 **Hajime:** litrally fuck u ur insufferable

 **Hajime:** we just cuddling and he: sleep

 **Chiaki:** god i wish that were me

 **Hajime:** and yet u do nothing

 **Hajime:** but yearn

 **Chiaki:** damn bro u got the whole squad laughin

 **Chiaki:** fuck u

 **Hajime:** i did not sign up for this weird ass fast slow burn thing im seeing between u three. go get ur hot buff gymnast or my life will be shortened by 69 years

 **Chiaki:** nice

 **Hajime:** chiaki

 **Chiaki:** no <3

 **Hajime:** wow very funny very cool!!!!!

 **Chiaki:** society has progressed past the need for hinata hajime. perish now. or else

 **Hajime:** i am looking at u judgingly

 **Chiaki:** hajime it’s 2 am

 **Hajime:** time is a social construct

 **Hajime:** litrally invite her to ur room sonia’s w u

 **Chiaki:** i cant take two of them at the same time

 **Chiaki:** WAIT FUCK

 **Hajime:** LMAOSDJKSHFJHjh@#()!(@??!)#

 **Hajime:** girl not by the two of them???

 **Chiaki:** fuck off

 **Chiaki:** there won’t even be a missing person’s report by the time im done w u

 **Hajime:** chiaki i stg stop stalling

 **Hajime:** i may be stupid but im not an idiot

 **Chiaki:** lol 

**Hajime:** chiaki

 **Chiaki:** ugh fine

 **Chiaki:** if this fails and i die i am writing ur name down in my will and everyone in my funeral will know not to blame anyone else

 **Hajime:** why is it always me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS SO STALE im so sorry ;;
> 
> *me running out of the stage while u all boo and throw tomatoes at me* bye girl
> 
> my funny rights r getting revoked wowie. at least i got a chapter out ahaha?? 
> 
> also the flashlight/fleshlight line is courtesy of yro, vel and ange u 3 r literally the worst kind of people to talk to in the middle of the night!!


	11. mCoochie iSupreme lPussy fInternational

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yellow sharpie:** does this make tojo-san a milf
> 
>  **c sharp b gay:** what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why is this thing almost 3.5k hits haha what the FUCK
> 
> thank u i guess but like. im still confused. this chatfic is as niche as it can get

**haha 69**

**[1:46 PM]**

**plainjane:** um guys we have joint pe w 77B next class right

 **Keebs:** Yes.

 **plainjane:** ughhhh

 **plainjane:** disgusting

 **plainjane:** im going to be killed

 **rantaro shake:** finally the evil mastermind is pulverized 

**3 ft catboy:** lol

 **Keebs:** Is there something wrong, Shirogane-san?

 **rantaro shake:** yeah why tho

 **rantaro shake:** tsumugay r u alive??? hello???

 **rantaro shake:** oh m y god

 **rantaro shake:** she got k worded

 **rantaro shake:** did i wish for it too hard it actually happened

 **rantaro shake:** tsu tsu plz rise from the grave </3 contact a necromancer or something </3 u got to call me back </3

 **plainjane:** i just. did a /facedesk. I just LOATHE pe. shut up rantaro

 **rantaro shake:** nice ur alive

 **rantaro shake:** ok ik u hate pe but like. this is more than usual

 **plainjane:** u know the activity we r going to do today right

 **Keebs:** Volleyball? We also did this last week.

 **rantaro shake:** bohleebol 💔💔💔

 **3 ft catboy:** forming groups and some third years will b overseeing us practicing this time?

 **rantaro shake:** yea we’re playing an actual volleyball game w them after the practices

 **3 ft catboy:** iirc first game will be only our class in 2 groups, then the next 2 sets will be mixed w the third years

 **plainjane:** fucking guess the seniors that r looking after the group im in

 **kiyo:** Is one of them Saionji-senpai or Komaeda-senpai?

 **rantaro shake:** sup kiyo

 **rantaro shake:** also why do we always assume that if the tiniest hint of bad shit is happening saionji-senpai or komaeda-senpai has something to do w it

 **Keebs:** They’re like Ouma-kun.

 **kiyo:** Ouma’s predecessors.

 **3 ft catboy:** lmfao get dragged

 **rantaro shake:** wow ok pack it up 999999 iqs i get the point dont bully him when he isnt here

 **kiyo:** He’ll take it as a compliment.

 **rantaro shake:** …fair point

 **kiyo:** Anyways, Komaeda-senpai’s talent is unpredictable. It’s interesting to study but also a hazard under some circumstances.

 **rantaro shake:** i wonder how thats going to play out in the game later lol

 **rantaro shake:** komaeda-senpai b like *walking onto the court and then the net snaps or something*

 **plainjane:** ok but do u guys want to know whos looking after my group or

 **rantaro shake:** oh yea i keep forgetting im in ur group too lols who is it

 **plainjane:** Pekoyama-senpai, Nidai-senpai and Owari-senpai.

 **rantaro shake:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **3 ft catboy:** yikes

 **plainjane:** yeah. yeah

 **kiyo:** Ah, I’m also in your group. I get to walk around a lot because of the places I tend to end up in, but my physical fitness isn’t the best. So that doesn’t bode well for me either.

 **3 ft catboy:** i think i get why

 **3 ft catboy:** almost all of the physically fit ones like chabashira or momota r on the other team. im on theirs too i think?? Their coaches r pretty subpar in comparison to your group’s. its Tanaka-senpai and Koizumi-senpai if i remember it right. they r pretty average

 **3 ft catboy:** a lot of school varsities from our class r on my group and the ones w not much aptitude towards physical fitness like saihara or yumeno r on yours

 **Keebs:** I’m in Amami-kun’s group too.

 **Keebs:** Um, let’s do our best and hopefully come out alive?

 **kiyo:** That’s not reassuring.

 **plainjane:** luck of the draw my ass

 **plainjane:** its so onesided we’re going to lose so bad :/

 **3 ft catboy:** ig thats why they r ur coaches??

 **rantaro shake:** THEYRE GOING TO FUCKING POUND US

 **plainjane:** pound

 **3 ft catboy:** pound

 **kiyo:** Goodness, Amami-kun. Do you know how very wrong that can sound?

 **Keebs:** Do I even want to know what that means?

 **rantaro shake:** u three stfu

 **rantaro shake:** u dont want to kii btw. don’t even think of asking iruma about it jfc

 **Keebs:** Okay then.

 **rantaro shake:** look i travel a lot so my stamina is fine but WHY THEMSKDSH THAT’S LIKE??? HELL ON EATRTH????

 **plainjane:** say that to me who has noodle limbs <3

 **rantaro shake:** god im so sorry rest in pussy tsu <3

 **kiyo:** I too, have noodle limbs.

 **rantaro shake:** take my L papa kiyo <3

 **3 ft catboy:** papa kiyo lol

 **rantaro shake:** wait

 **rantaro shake:** holy fuck harukawa is in our group we might stand a chance

 **plainjane:** volleyball is a team game nitwit she cant carry us by herself

 **rantaro shake:** yea but we can follow her lead sjkfhsjf

 **3 ft catboy:** yeah well newsflash she’ll probably just get distracted by The Girls in their sportswear and not do much

 **kiyo:** That's... very little faith.

 **rantaro shake:** no he right. hoshi u right u right

 **rantaro shake:** i keep forgetting she’s a useless bisexual. damn

 **plainjane:** so like you

 **rantaro shake:** piss off

 **plainjane:** sorry i dont speak useless bi can u translate it in a language i can understand

 **rantaro shake:** WHY IS MURDER ILLEGAL.

 **plainjane:** it doesnt need to be legal for me to euthanize u

 **rantaro shake:** ill pay yumeno to hex you and yonaga to curse ur bloodline

 **plainjane:** shut up ill knock u out and sew ur mouth closed

 **rantaro shake:** i have enough money to buy u out of ur own apartment

 **plainjane:** we live in a dorm keep crying grass wig

 **rantaro shake:** shut up otaku

 **plainjane:** cry for me guillotine boy

 **rantaro shake:** okay noodle limbs

 **plainjane:** okay tax evader

 **3 ft catboy:** ok pack it up u two

 **3 ft catboy:** also lmao i keep forgetting amami’s rich

 **kiyo:** ^

 **Keebs:** You two always fight over the pettiest things. Don’t you guys get tired?

 **rantaro shake:** no 💔

 **plainjane:** no 💔

 **3 ft catboy:** lol

 **kiyo:** Oh.

 **kiyo:** Since Tojo-san isn’t here to remind us, PE’s starting in ten minutes. Let’s go prepare.

* * *

**haha 69**

**[2:55 PM]**

**angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Out of all the things i expected to see in a volleyball game

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Komaeda-senpai causing mishaps by accident is expected, and so is Saionji-senpai causing mishaps on purpose

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** but

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Harukawa-san practically getting a mouthful of Tojo-san’s boobs wasnt on the list

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** god i wish that were me

**gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy deleted a message**

**c sharp b gay:** miu what

 **yellow sharpie:** ay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **cockitchy:** ay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **rantaro shake:** ay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** @yellow sharpie Yonaga-san? new nickname??

 **yellow sharpie:** yep!!

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Oh ok

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Moving on

 **c sharp b gay:** are u guys seriously gonna ignore what miu said hwtaakdjs

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Yes

 **c sharp b gay:** SHUICHI????

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Anyways.

 **does she listen to girl in red:** oh?? tenko got subbed in by hoshi-san midgame and wasn’t there because she was getting drinks for everyone!! what happened??

 **3 ft catboy:** it was surreal lmaoooo

 **buzz lightyear:** oh can i tell?? Pls :D

 **3 ft catboy:** k go ahead

 **buzz lightyear:** ty!!

 **buzz lightyear:** so anyways,, think: the last game is almost done; end game. intense. everyone is laser focused but also rlly tired. harumaki and tojo havent been replaced in a while and no one on ur group was willing to sub for them

 **buzz lightyear:** after i served the ball towards their side of the court, harumaki and tojo didnt realize they were both gunning to return it at the same time

 **buzz lightyear:** maki was obv looking to dig, but i think tojo was planning for a returning spike so she was getting ready to jump, but then harumaki wasnt doing so hot bc shes been doing a lot of heavy lifting for their team and she hasnt had a break since the first game so like

 **buzz lightyear:** she just RAN into tojo?? like a TRAIN XD

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Jfc

 **does she listen to girl in red:** are they both okay???

 **little witch academia:** it honestly really hurt to watch lol

 **3 ft catboy:** theyre both a bit okay now lmao dw

 **3 ft catboy:** the only funny part was that harukawa ended up landing right on top of tojo’s boobs

 **rantaro shake:** HAHAHAHSAHDGSHFAS

 **rantaro shake:** GAY PEOPLE R REAL?????

 **little witch academia:** i was w tenks so idk what was up

 **little witch academia:** pics or it didnt happen

 **3 ft catboy:** nicepillowsharukawa.jpeg

 **little witch academia:** nice

 **rantaro shake:** R Y O M A

 **c sharp b gay:** the picture’s name i

 **yellow sharpie:** ay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **cockitchy:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **rantaro shake:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **buzz lightyear:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **cockitchy:** miu voice god i wish that were me

 **c sharp b gay:** which part

 **cockitchy:** yes

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** shut the fuck up cuckichi

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** ill fuck u up. u insufferable mini barney dont test me

 **cockitchy:** MINI BARNEY??? 😭😭😭 U WHORE ILL SLAP YOU???? 😭😭😭

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** bring it 5’1

 **cockitchy:** what the fuck 💔

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** im going off. fuck u barney junior

**angry. #death #i want you dieded changed cockitchy’s nickname to barney junior**

**barney junior:** WAIT WHAT

 **barney junior:** SHU UR SUCH A TRAITOR I HATE U 😭😭

 **rantaro shake:** hi my name is ouma kokichi aka minibarney69 welcome to my DICE minecraft server

 **barney junior:** amami-chan u make me want to look up body disposal </3

 **rantaro shake:** i tot u didnt approve of killing :/

 **barney junior:** ill make an exception for u king <3

 **rantaro shake:** not feeling the hope’s peak standard of being safe and secured anymore rn

 **plainjane:** as you should

 **rantaro shake:** litrally fuck u

 **plainjane:** <3

 **barney junior:** anyways

 **barney junior:** ok pls this doesnt change the fact miu wants some of that mom boobies too

 **yellow sharpie:** angie and kami-sama just had a revelation

 **barney junior:**???

 **yellow sharpie:** does this make tojo-san a milf

 **c sharp b gay:** what.

 **barney junior:** YONAGA-CHAN UR BRAIN IS SO MASSIVE

 **rantaro shake:** WHATk@*(#&!??#??$ (% ^??$ I???/ JHDFJFJSHJAD

 **plainjane:** MY EYES MY EYESJSADJHFSFHDGF

 **c sharp b gay:** why.

 **c sharp b gay:** why why why why

 **yellow sharpie:** the people only hated angie for telling the truth ✌😙

 **barney junior:** GO OFF????

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** i

 **plainjane:** tojo kirumommy

 **c sharp b gay:** NO

 **plainjane:** tojo kirumilf

 **rantaro shake:** TSUMUGI SHUT UPkejjk$)^%%?^_6WS

 **3 ft catboy:** being here isnt so good for my mental health

 **buzz lightyear:** what does milf mean XD

 **rantaro shake:** KAITO R U FUCKING SERIOUS RN I WILL COMMIT D WORD

 **yellow sharpie:** oh momota-kun. Poor, poor momota-kun

 **3 ft catboy:** momota r u sure u wanna know

 **buzz lightyear:** yeah!!

 **plainjane:** mCoochie iSupreme lPussy fInternational

 **rantaro shake:** lol

 **3 ft catboy:** thank u shirogane very cool

 **buzz lightyear:** fine ill just look it up now :/ u guys r no help

 **yellow sharpie:** have fun getting those images burned into ur retinas space boy

 **barney junior:** yall stfu

 **barney junior:** @c sharp b gay kaechan change her name now >:(

 **c sharp b gay:** NO????

 **barney junior:** pwease kaegay owo i wont annoy u for a day pwease ahaha owowowo uwuwuwu

 **c sharp b gay:** I AM NOT NAMING HER THAT?????

 **yellow sharpie:** ur cowardice will be ur downfall akamatsu-san

 **c sharp b gay:** NO.

 **c sharp b gay:** I AM NOT APPROPRIATING MY ADMIN PRIVILEGES JUST TO CALL KIRUMI A MILF???

 **c sharp b gay:** i swear to every god that is up the$2:/y-45 70-6/3bn g/.k;

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** NO KOKICHI DONT

**c sharp b gay changed no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink’s nickname to Milf**

**plainjane:** HE;Polk#)_$???@)(# IN EED AN INHALEERRETRRRF

 **rantaro shake:** BYEiu#*&#$%^(&)

 **3 ft catboy:** i hate it here

 **barney junior:** :3c

 **rantaro shake:** WHAT DID U DO???

 **c sharp b gay:** FUCK YOU KOKICHI

 **c sharp b gay:** HE TACKLED ME AND TOOK MY PHONE

 **yellow sharpie:** ouma-kun angie feels like tearing up from sheer joy :’)

 **barney junior:** POGGERS

 **die:** whats going on

 **c sharp b gay:** hi maki!!

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** kaede i

 **die:** oh hi

 **die:** hold on

 **die:** @Milf

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** LOL

 **barney junior:** WAIT WAIT TOO SOON

 **barney junior:** HARUKAWA-CHAN U R SUCH A BIG MEANIE </33333

 **3 ft catboy:** tojo left it on read lol say ur last words

 **barney junior:** kae :’((( shu ;’(((( pls listen to me :’((((

 **barney junior:** u guys have to get my funeral guests to play spin the bottle </3 whoever wins gets my corpse as the grand prize and the coffin is the consolation </33

 **kiyo:** Are you sure you don’t want to be cremated, Ouma-kun?

 **kiyo:** It would be your last chance to have a smoking hot body, after all.

 **barney junior:** i

 **rantaro shake:** KIYOOOOO DJKHSJFHJ??>$)@(*)#$

 **plainjane:** HELLO I JUST WITNESSED A FUCKING MURDER?????

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** No. no words

**c sharp b gay pinned three (3) messages**

**barney junior:** K A E D E

 **3 ft catboy:** not to ruin anyone’s fun but tojo is typing now

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** oh. oh no

 **c sharp b gay:** take this F kichi

 **rantaro shake:** rest in piss

 **yellow sharpie:** L

 **plainjane:** L

 **3 ft catboy:** L

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** L

 **c sharp b gay:** L

 **Milf:** Eat shit and die, Ouma-kun.

 **c sharp b gay:** KIRUMISDKFJKSDSJKFJSD

 **rantaro shake:** AHAHAHASGAHDGE7#*($%_

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** HELPPPkjfjkDEI5U7834

 **barney junior:** mum i just want u to know u genuinely terrify me when u curse ahaha 😁😁 plz dont b mad at me ahaha my ass is too fat for this 😁😁 pls plz </333

 **Milf:** Make it up to me by helping me with dinner for tonight then.

 **barney junior:** WAIT REALLY ????? UR NOT GONNA KILL ME IN COLD BLOOD????

 **Milf:** Do you prefer that?

 **barney junior:** no <3

 **Milf:** :)

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** g thats so hot and sexy

**gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy deleted a message**

**c sharp b gay:** MIU???????

 **yellow sharpie:** ay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **barney junior:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **rantaro shake:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **plainjane:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Iruma stop deleting your thirst texts challenge

 **3 ft catboy:** lol

 **barney junior:** (miu voice) i sure don’t hope kirumi doesn’t smother me with her big sized dumptruck wagon halahonker fatass tonka trunk massive humoungoususmus juggly balibonky ultra milf boobies no aha it would surely kill me wahaha xx

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** MF ILL KILL YOU?????

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** KOKICHIJSHDSJF(*@&$$#!

**angry. #death #i want you dieded pinned a message**

**rantaro shake:** PLEASEJDFHDJGHFJ,M(#&$%!!#!!

 **rantaro shake:** GIRL NOT THE PINNED MESSAGES

 **3 ft catboy:** imagine having a formally functioning class chat

 **plainjane:** OUMA DON’T DELETE IT PLEASEUSDSIDFDJGR

 **c sharp b gay:** god. god pls stop calling her a milf please. please

 **Milf:** Thank you, Kaede.

 **c sharp b gay:** you guys can call her a milf after she turns 18 instead

 **Milf:** Fuck you, Kaede.

 **c sharp b gay:** fuck me yourself u coward

 **Milf:** I--well.

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** WHAT 

**rantaro shake:** POGGERS TIME????? 😶

 **3 ft catboy:** LMAO9DJFJDJGKLRF????

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** NOT ON TOJO DROPPING THE F BOMB PLEASE BYEEEE

 **barney junior:** KAEDE I CANTEESKFDJGFHKGLLS?@($**!()@*#$?!

 **rantaro shake:** GAY PEOPLE

 **barney junior:** REAL

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Kaede did you finally come to your senses??

 **c sharp b gay:**??? i was just quoting this meme i saw on twitter it was the perfect time to reply haha

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** i. i

 **barney junior:** U R LITERALLY PEA BRAINED. UR BRAIN MATTER IS BEAN SIZED.

 **rantaro shake:** chad lesbian romcom protagonist energy so strong and yet the int stat is @ 2

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Stop speaking Tsumuginese

 **rantaro shake:** fuck sorry saihara. i think she infected me

 **plainjane:** EXCUSE ME

 **3 ft catboy:** lol

 **c sharp b gay:** so yall just going to pretend kirumi saying fuck didnt happen

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Your little stunt literally overshadowed her what else are we going to say??

 **plainjane:** greetings i am tojo kirumi ultimate milf at ur behest

 **c sharp b gay:** STOP !! STOP THIS RN !!

 **barney junior:** SHIROGANEJGIKHJRFKH??#$(*#???

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** HELPPPP

 **rantaro shake:** IM GOING TO CHOKE ON MY OWN SPIT

 **yellow sharpie:** imagine having your talent being attractive to the point of being fuckable

 **barney junior:** and the sharpie lives 🤩🤩🤩

 **yellow sharpie:** ‘whats ur talent’ ‘im a single mom to 15 children and i look rlly hot’ ‘…whats ur real talent’ ‘u want to fuck me. Thats my talent’

 **barney junior:** JDHFJDLU3!8?74/?u*y#b?d???

 **3 ft catboy:** im muting yall

* * *

**haha 69**

**[4:34 PM]**

**buzz lightyear:** HEY ALL I SEARCHED UP WHAT MILF WAS

 **buzz lightyear:** U GUYS R SO WEIRD XD

 **buzz lightyear:** GUYS????

 **buzz lightyear:** YO @everyone ????

 **buzz lightyear:** yall stop ignoring me wtf :/

 **buzz lightyear:** wow ok way to ruin my inclination towards internet slang and just leave me for dead

 **antman:** Momota-san, what’s milf?

 **buzz lightyear:** look it up gonta

 **buzz lightyear:** WAIT

* * *

**kokichi hate club (feat. Kokichi)**

**[8:19 PM]**

**Shooting Star:** YALL @everyone

 **claude depussy:** yeah!!

 **claude depussy:** kaito-kun and I are at the café he/shu frequents @ hp road!! we havent placed orders yet so we thought of u guys. does anyone want anything???

 **Shooting Star:** selfiewkaede.jpeg

 **claude depussy:** <3!!!!

 **Detective Conan:** @Shooting Star @claude depussy

 **Detective Conan:** cafe latte 6 espresso shots

 **Shooting Star:** see kaede i told you he added more :/

 **claude depussy:** its like asking for a heart attack oml

 **Detective Conan:** Well? It’s better than kirigiri-senpai’s

 **claude depussy:** she isnt the best model to base ur caffeine intake on shuichi :T

 **claude depussy:** in fact both of u r so bad at it u have ur own scale

 **claude depussy:** ‘on a scale of 1 to ultimate detective how caffeinated are you’ is on the bulletin board of the school clinic and a picture of you and kirigiri-senpai is just right next to it lol

 **harumaki:** good fucking god saihara

 **harumaki:** espresso machiatto for me btw

 **claude depussy:**.

 **claude depussy:** ur,,,.,.,. not any better

 **harumaki:** yukizome-sensei’s deadline is tomorrow

 **claude depussy:** oh

 **claude depussy:** yeah godsjhfjdhf shes so tight w those

 **harumaki:** right?

 **harumaki:** if i lagged behind for even a little bit i might be kept up for a few days straight.

 **claude depussy:** hhhh

 **claude depussy:** anyway @eggplant ??? kichi???

 **eggplant:** feelin like iced chai rn

 **eggplant:** can u add one glazed doughnut too pls 😳

 **claude depussy:** ok!!

 **claude depussy:** no other additions guys??? dw its my treat!!!

 **Shooting Star:** *our* >:( im paying too!!!

 **claude depussy:** ohhh haha alright sorry

 **Shooting Star:** :D

 **eggplant:** omg momota-chan has money for once???

 **Shooting Star:** >:(

 **harumaki:** unless u want to see these two fight again or give saihara more unneeded heart palpitations then no, we’re good. i have to study

 **claude depussy:** ok!! good luck maki-san!!

 **harumaki:** i thought i told you to drop the honorific it’s fine

 **harumaki:** also thanks i guess

 **Detective Conan:** I keep forgetting maki’s technically on a scholarship

 **Detective Conan:** HPA’s standards isnt that strict bc it at least acknowledges the ‘different strengths/different weaknesses’ argument, but the stress it demands for consistent academics w its cutoff scores to stay in the program still is no joke

 **eggplant:** well

 **eggplant:** the facilities r great so

 **harumaki:** yeah that’s why hpa tuition isnt fucking funny

 **harumaki:** and i come from an orphanage of all things. cant exactly pull money out of my ass

 **Detective Conan:** More fortunate ones are able to pay it off in installments on a specifically cultivated scale, but for those otherwise it’s like getting a free trial into the college experience of do your best or else The Crippling Student Debt

 **harumaki:** college trial version

 **Detective Conan:** *Satan

 **Harumaki:** right. satan

 **eggplant:** isnt that the name of one of ryoma’s cats

 **Detective Conan:** …his cat’s name is satan

 **eggplant:** yea :^) the other one’s name is bastard. i think its perfect 😍😍

 **Detective Conan:** I. I have very strong opinions.

 **Shooting Star:** YALLL

 **harumaki:**?

 **eggplant:** now say that again w buzz lightyear’s voice kaithoe

 **Shooting Star:** shut up u tiny football

 **eggplant:** miu can come up w better names than that ew

 **Shooting Star:** ugh anyways

 **Shooting Star:** we met two seniors from 78A in the cafe :D

 **claude depussy:** yeah!!

 **claude depussy:** togamiludenburgsenpai.jpeg

 **claude depussy:** 2 wild seniors have appeared !!

 **Detective Conan:** Ah yes. gucci gang

 **harumaki:** celes-senpai looks like a zombie

 **eggplant:** mf no she litrally looks like she’s about to kick the bucket any moment now please 😭😭😭

 **claude depussy:** suddenly i fear what our 2nd yr here will be like

 **harumaki:** why do they look like that

 **Detective Conan:** I heard from kirigiri-senpai that the class was grouped into two and they were working on a short film project or something

 **harumaki:** oh wow

 **eggplant:** is that why they look like walking undead

 **harumaki:** ouma arent you like ludenburg-senpai’s protege or something

 **eggplant:** THE SUPREME LEADER IS NO ONE’S FOLLOWER

 **Detective Conan:** You literally follow her around like a lost puppy

 **eggplant:** SHUMAI U R SO MEAN TODAY WHAT THE HELLLL </33333

 **Detective Conan:** She acts kind of like his big sister and he likes the attention

 **eggplant:** LITRALLY SHUT UP RN SHUTU P SHUT UPPPP RN 😭😭😭

 **harumaki:** lol

 **Shooting Star:** is no one gonna talk about the other guy cus i will XD

 **Shooting Star:** togami-senpai is blinking every few seconds haha

 **claude depussy:** fear

 **Detective Conan:** dread

 **Detective Conan:** What the hell is up w the second years

 **Detective Conan:** or this school in general

 **harumaki:** what about the third years

 **Detective Conan:** I've long decided they are always on crack and left the rest to god ever since.

 **harumaki:** understandable have a good night

 **eggplant:** y does toegami have such a big stick up his ass he GOES to hpa of all schools. he can sleep there while standing and no one will blame him kfc

 **claude depussy:** kfc

 **Detective Conan:** kfc

 **harumaki:** kfc

 **Shooting Star:** kfc

 **eggplant:** this is oppression

 **eggplant:** kinning julia scissorhands rn

 **harumaki:** …julia scissorhands?

 **eggplant:** the salad u fucking idiot

 **harumaki:** i

 **eggplant:** also my friends yall r so embarrassing kfc clearly means kentucky fucking christ

 **eggplant:** stop oppressing freedom of speech

 **harumaki:** some people clearly don’t deserve it

 **eggplant:** pft no name drop??? too weak harukawa-chan :P

 **harumaki:** like ouma kokichi

 **eggplant:** damn ok i didnt think u would rlly say it but ok ig fuck u

 **harumaki:** fuck you too

 **eggplant:** fuck ur mom

 **harumaki:** i havent seen my parents in more than a decade

 **eggplant:** oh wow bitch me too the fuck

 **harumaki:** we literally came from the same orphanage

 **eggplant:** damn yeah <3

 **harumaki:** wow very funny you’re a wholeass comedian

 **eggplant:** ikr?? i laughed so hard

 **harumaki:** dieded. immediately if possible

 **eggplant:** harukawa-chan did u fail speech and literature again omg :’(

 **harumaki:** i can kill you without a price

 **eggplant:** this juicy ass has the biggest bounty

 **harumaki:** why do i put up with you

 **claude depussy:** pack it up stand up comedians we have two zombies here !!

 **Shooting Star:** celes-senpai is giggling at her phone

 **Shooting Star:** it should b nice, but w how tired looking she and togami-senpai r its just ominous

 **Detective Conan:** celes-senpai can pull off the sleep paralysis demon look if she wanted to

 **harumaki:** what the hell is togami then

 **eggplant:** her side hoe

 **Shooting Star:** XD

 **eggplant:** her bde litrally overpowers him anyway so he can be nothing else

 **eggplant:** if they werent both gay but in a relationship w each other, togami would definitely get pegged

 **claude depussy:** we are NOT talking about this kokichi.

 **eggplant:** togami-senpai is a pillow princess

 **harumaki:** please pass away

 **eggplant:** celes gives off those femdom vibes

 **claude depussy:** oh to commit memory loss

 **Shooting Star:** what r u guys talking abt??? XD

 **harumaki:** nothing, kaito

 **eggplant:** hey shumai ur friends w kirigiri-senpai right she would know

 **Detective Conan:** I am not asking my senior if her classmate gets pegged, Kokichi

 **eggplant:** just ask the question you pussy

 **Detective Conan:** NO???

 **eggplant:** im asking her instead

 **Detective Conan:** NO!!!

 **harumaki:**.

 **harumaki:** wow its been almost 5 mins he rlly did ask her

 **eggplant:** back

 **eggplant:** also im right

 **Detective Conan:** What The Fuck

 **claude depussy:** oh to see without my eyes <3

 **harumaki:** i hate it here

 **eggplant:** she said celes also seems like a pillow princess, but if its w someone like togami she’s willing to dom

 **claude depussy:** CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS PLEASE

 **Detective Conan:** WHY WOULD SHE KNOW THAT

 **Detective Conan:** Why. why

 **harumaki:** who knows w her

 **harumaki:** she's almost on the same levels of threatening as kiyo is and they dont even have to move a single inch

 **claude depussy:** they just have to giv u their trademark thousand yard stares and they already look menacing

 **claude depussy:** maybe they secretly enjoy the threat they emit

 **eggplant:** i wonder if theyre quiet when doing the deed too 😳😳

 **eggplant:** do u think kiyo and kirigiri-senpai r tops

 **claude depussy:** KOKICHI.

 **harumaki:** shut the fuck up. please shut the fuck up

 **Detective Conan:** please stop

 **Shooting Star:** i am not following a single thing here

 **harumaki:** good

 **eggplant:** they both seem like tops right. not just service ones

 **claude depussy:** KOKICHI FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

 **eggplant:** would kirigiri-senpai b a power bottom tho,,, bc i cant see it

 **harumaki:** im blocking you kokichi

 **Detective Conan:** Wow. wow

 **Detective Conan:** Is this what we all are. A bunch of caffeinated teenagers w poor life choices talking about their schoolmates’ hypothetical sex lives just to feel something

 **eggplant:** haha 💔

 **eggplant:** if thats what u want ❤️️ that is what u get ❤️️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow what was this chapter this version of kokichi is just litrally out of control
> 
> the idea of kokichi and maki being friends but the contempt(?) being onesided is so funny pls
> 
> edit: newerish nicknames  
> vincent van got to gogh -> yellow sharpie - Angie  
> cockitchy -> barney junior - Kokichi  
> no, ouma-kun, i do not have a maid kink -> Milf - Kirumi
> 
> kokichi hate club nicknames:  
> Shooting Star - Kaito  
> claude depussy - Kaede  
> Detective Conan - Shuichi  
> harumaki - Maki  
> eggplant - Kokichi


	12. i do not, in fact, have a pee kink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Maki:** Woooo!!!! 😊😊 Go saihara-sama!!!! 😊😊 go get that astronaut dick!!! 💖❤️️💗❤️️💞💖
> 
>  **Shuichi:** Never type like that ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoa 4k ahaha hiiii
> 
> edit: i forgot kiyo's nickname was actually kork ukno what. just. to those who read this before this edit u did not see anything yes <3

**haha 69**

**[1:24 AM]**

**kork:** guys

 **kork:** guys i

 **kork:** i. he

 **kork:** plese daslakds

 **kork:** help

 **little witch academia:**???

 **die:** are

 **die:** shinguji are you good

 **kork:** i

 **kork:** im. scared

 **rantaro shake:** kiyo ur on lowercase whats up whats going on

 **kork:** b

 **kork:** bad dream

 **kork:** i

 **antman:** Oh no! Does Kiyo-san need friends?

 **kork:** no i

 **kork:** i need to

 **kork:** i need to share

 **Milf:** If it gets too overwhelming for you, you don’t have to.

 **kork:** no i have to

 **kork:** im

 **kork:** ok i

 **does she listen to girl in red:** deep breaths, shinguji-san!!

 **kork:** thank you

 **kork:** ok

 **kork:** so i

 **kork:** kiibo-kun and i

 **kork:** in my dream

 **Keebs:** Me?

 **kork:** we both

 **kork:** we both went to the barber

 **kork:** for. for

 **kork:** for haircuts

 **Keebs:** As far as I’m aware, my hair is not natural…?

 **little witch academia:** sshhh let him speak

 **kork:** thank you

 **kork:** ok

 **kork:** we went. for haircuts

 **kork:** and

 **kork:** and i

 **kork:** we both asked for

 **kork:** for mohawks

 **rantaro shake:** mo

 **rantaro shake:** mo wwhat

 **c sharp b gay:** MOHAWKS

 **does she listen to girl in red:** tenko is going to be honest but that’s in poor taste :/

 **Milf:** I’m certainly not going to judge you for that odd choice, but couldn’t your dreams have made you ask for better cuts…?

 **yellow sharpie:** sshhhh!! you heathens are interrupting story time!!

 **yellow sharpie:** moving on. get going shinguji-kun!!

 **kork:** again, thank you

 **kork:** so

 **kork:** we both planned for

 **kork:** mohawks

 **kork:** and when i turned to talk to the hairdresser

 **kork:** i

 **plainjane:**?

 **kork:** i saw

 **little witch academia:** saw wht

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** What did you see?

 **kork:** i saw

 **kork:** i

 **kork:** i saw him

 **kiyo:** o

 **kork:** ouma

 **3 ft catboy:** huh. cant blame you. that rlly is a bad dream

 **barney junior:** wh

 **rantaro shake:** LMAO mf ouma cant catch a break

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** HAHAHAHAHA

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** ok but whats there to be scary abt little grape over here

 **barney junior:** grrrr call me that again and ill maim u >:(

 **plainjane:** grrrr

 **rantaro shake:** grrrr

 **3 ft catboy:** grrrr

 **little witch academia:** grrrr

 **barney junior:** i do it better than gastronut does :P

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** GASTRONUT

 **barney junior:** GASTRONUT

 **buzz lightyear:** hwat

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Is no one going to talk about kichi being the barber or

 **barney junior:** do u doubt my skills or something :/

 **c sharp b gay:** kiyo-kun r u there??? whats up w kokichi??

 **kork:** he

 **kork:** i

 **kork:** um

 **kork:** i

 **barney junior:** SPIT IT OUT DONT K EEP ME HAN GING

 **kork:** he

 **kork:** no hair

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Omg

 **c sharp b gay:** tfw u have no hair

 **little witch academia:** the glue wasnt enough

 **does she listen to girl in red:** HIMIKO!*#&!njf?@(#

 **buzz lightyear:** XD

 **barney junior:** kiyo

 **barney junior:** wtf does it mean

 **barney junior:** WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MEAN

 **kork:** ouma

 **kork:** ouma was

 **kork:** he

 **kork:** he was

 **kork:** bald

 **c sharp b gay:** i

 **kork:** ouma was bald

 **barney junior:** im. im what

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** HE WAS WHAT XJKZNCDHGLLDKE

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** HAHAEJGDSDGKR

 **rantaro shake:** omg his hairdo

 **plainjane:** gone

 **rantaro shake:** WIG

 **Keebs:** It flew.

 **rantaro shake:** KIIBODKS!F!HJD4&*&*%%

 **3 ft catboy:** like my will to live

 **antman:** Ryoma-kun :(

 **3 ft catboy:** issa joke lmao old habit dw

 **antman:** Oh! Alright! Just talk to Gonta if you don’t feel well ^^

 **3 ft catboy:** ofc ofc

 **rantaro shake:** awwww

 **rantaro shake:** anyways

 **rantaro shake:** bald ouma real

 **c sharp b gay:** BALD KOKICHI REAL

 **rantaro shake:** BALD KOKICHI REAL

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** BALD KOKICHI REAL

 **barney junior:** SHUT UPSFHNJDSFHDJ

 **Milf:** That’s… certainly interesting?

 **die:** shinguji what was he doing

 **kork:** he

 **kork:** he was just sitting there in the corner

 **kork:** and i

 **kork:** i

 **kork:** he

 **buzz lightyear:** take ur time bro!!

 **kork:** he

 **kork:** he was

 **kork:** dressed up in

 **kork:** in komaeda-senpai’s clothes

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** HE H

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** WHA

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** WHAT

 **rantaro shake:** i

 **plainjane:** HELP

 **plainjane:** omg,,,,, komaeda kin ouma kokichi

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** HAHDJJSHFJSHFE

 **c sharp b gay:** TSUMUGISJFHDJGFDJG

 **barney junior:** SHUT UP LITERALLY SHUT UPPP OH MY GOD

 **3 ft catboy:** so to summarize

 **3 ft catboy:** you came to bald ouma’s barber shop and asked for mohawks and he was in komaeda-senpai’s clothes…?

 **yellow sharpie:** ouma-kun is super duper shorter than him so the clothes r probably loose

 **does she listen to girl in red:** JSA./_#(($#*@!

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** YONAGA CAME FOR UR FLAT ASS JDSHFJSDFXR

 **little witch academia:** angie u legend

 **barney junior:** YONAGA-CHAN TF U WERE MY HOMIE 😭😭😭

 **Milf:** @kiyo What happened next?

 **die:** why are you invested in this

 **Milf:** Shh. I’ll give you a kiss in the morning if you stay quiet.

 **die:** WH

 **c sharp b gay:** WHAT

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** HUH

 **yellow sharpie:** ay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **barney junior:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **rantaro shake:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **buzz lightyear:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **plainjane:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **3 ft catboy:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **little witch academia:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **does she listen to girl in red:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** RUMI WHAT

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** @Milf @Milf

 **Milf:** Nothing.

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** NOTHING MY ASSHOLE

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** (…rumi?)

 **barney junior:** (nickname basis el gee bee tee real)

 **little witch academia:** (ssshhhhh gay machine broke let them be)

 **does she listen to girl in red:** (tenko thinks so too!)

 **kork:** anyways

 **c sharp b gay:** WHY R WE ALWAYS IGNORED????

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** shut the fuck up kaede

 **barney junior:** shut the fuck up kaede

**angry. #death #i want you dieded changed c sharp b gay’s nickname to shut the fuck up kaede**

**shut the fuck up kaede:** i

 **kork:** ah

 **kork:** i remember now

 **kork:** akamatsu-san was also there

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** ME???

 **barney junior:** nice

 **kork:** she was in a clown costume

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** im in what

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Fitting

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** shuichi what

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** SHUICHI

 **kork:** she was also a customer

 **kork:** she was getting a bowl cut

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** b

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** BOWL CUT

 **barney junior:** BOWL CUTJKSAR/*(@$()^)))^

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** DSJFH/?@(&@!##$

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** HHAHAB4NT8|^&@!#$%|)

 **plainjane:** MF WHAT

 **does she listen to girl in red:** tenko would flatter you for comfort but she isnt sure if she should at the moment

 **3 ft catboy:** lol

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** I DON’T LOOK GOOD IN A BOWL CUT OH MY GOD DON’T EVE NCOMPLIMEN T M E

 **plainjane:** HHHAAHJGEHSRJHGRRSD

 **barney junior:** oml kaede we should get bowl cuts together <3

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** NO

 **little witch academia:** im sorry but trying to picture kaede and ouma with matching bowl cuts is giving me severe brain damage

 **buzz lightyear:** same

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** M MAT

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** MATCIHGN

 **rantaro shake:** IM GOIGN TO PISS MYSELG

 **barney junior:** MATCHING

 **barney junior:** BOWL CUTS

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** STOP

 **Milf:** @kiyo Did she say anything in the dream?

 **buzz lightyear:** tojo popping out of nowhere again and again to ask about the dream Only while ignoring everything else is peak cryptid energy

 **kork:** she said the entire bee movie script in a monotone voice

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** i did what.

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** she did WHAT.

 **does she listen to girl in red:** THAT MOVIE IS AN AFFRONT AGAINST HUMANITY

 **little witch academia:** whoa tenko chill

 **yellow sharpie:** no. no she’s right keep going

 **rantaro shake:** GO OFF TENKO

 **does she listen to girl in red:** sorry himiko but i will not CHILL wtf

 **does she listen to girl in red:** akamatsu-san i trusted you

 **barney junior:** yea me too kaechan tf :/

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Friendship over </3

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** um i

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** i???

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** ITS A DREAM????

 **does she listen to girl in red:** certain aspects of reality bleeds into dreams akamatsu-san thats just how it be

 **yellow sharpie:** angie agrees!!!

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** wha

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** DON’T LEAVE ME ON READ WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** I DONT EVEN LIKE BEE MOVIE EITHER

 **3 ft catboy:** since everyone is too busy laughing their piss out im asking if shinguji is good

 **plainjane:** i do not, in fact, have a pee kink, for your clarification

 **3 ft catboy:** shirogane do me a favor and shut up jfc

 **plainjane:** noted, but not followed

 **3 ft catboy:** bitch

 **plainjane:** :3

 **rantaro shake:** at last. somebody else who knows my pain

 **3 ft catboy:** anyway

 **3 ft catboy:** @kiyo r u good

 **kork:** Splendid.

 **3 ft catboy:** ah there it is

 **rantaro shake:** so ur telling me this was all an elaborate plan to both wingman and break everyone’s minds just for the heck of it or

 **kork:** You can’t prove anything.

 **rantaro shake:** WH

 **buzz lightyear:** is no one gonna acknowledge that maki died

* * *

**Saihara Shuichi > Harukawa Maki**

**[10:09 PM]**

**Shuichi:** Me when

 **Shuichi:** Me when Kaito

 **Maki:** no

 **Shuichi:** Maki shut up let me have this

 **Shuichi:** He is so pretty bye

 **Maki:** it’s late

 **Shuichi:** *early

 **Maki:** you do this with me every morning before class

 **Shuichi:** I do this with Kaede and Kokichi all the time get on their level

 **Maki:** then do it with them not me

 **Shuichi:** I’ve made an important decision that they need a break from my dumb bi yearning every now and then

 **Shuichi:** So you, as my fellow dumb bi who is also yearning, have a responsibility

 **Maki:** ive had enough of this

 **Maki:** im muting you

 **Shuichi:** You signed a contract

 **Maki:** i did?

 **Shuichi:** Article V Clause XVII states that at all times, Harukawa Maki must provide unconditional support and counsel to Saihara Shuichi should he request and/or demand it

 **Maki:** you’re ridiculous

 **Maki:** i dont remember signing anything

 **Shuichi:** contractsigned.jpeg

 **Maki:** what the fuck.

 **Maki:** you told me it was for our group report

 **Shuichi:** The truth isn’t always pretty

 **Maki:** you clearly learned from the worst

 **Maki:** that thing is also 5k words at the very least

 **Maki:** the hell

 **Shuichi:** Precautionary measures

 **Maki:** im out

 **Shuichi:** I will put you bluescreening in my DMs over Kirumi as leverage for the class

 **Maki:** they’ll think it’s fake

 **Shuichi:** No they won’t.

 **Maki:** fuck you’re right they won’t

 **Maki:** fine

 **Maki:** what are you complaining about this time

 **Shuichi:** Remember Shinguji and Yonaga suggesting everyone go ghost hunting after Yumeno’s magic show

 **Maki:** you mean after chabashira rammed into the girl at the speed of a freight train and basically said yes or something or

 **Shuichi:** Yeah,.,., Kaede has another recital so she’s cramming and Kokichi is procrastinating again so he needs hw done by tonight or he’s d word. They wanted to come bc of me but I told them No, so

 **Shuichi:** That leaves Momota-kun

 **Maki:** kaito said no didnt he

 **Maki:** even back when we dated for a bit, he would pee his pants at any mention of ghosts or the supernatural

 **Shuichi:** Right??? this is the funny part

 **Maki:** which is?

 **Shuichi:** haha

 **Shuichi:** The thing is

 **Shuichi:** He said yes

 **Maki:** oh

 **Maki:** you gave him puppy eyes again?

 **Shuichi:** What???

 **Shuichi:** I. I didn’t do anything?? I looked at him and he said as long as im there then he’s good

 **Shuichi:** I doubt he wanted to go because of me, maybe he just doesn’t want to be outdone

 **Maki:** oh my god

 **Maki:** you are so dense are you fucking serious

 **Shuichi:** You of all people have no right to say that to me

 **Shuichi:** You’re pining after THREE girls

 **Maki:** oh

 **Maki:** right

 **Shuichi:** Get fucked

 **Maki:** fuck off

 **Shuichi:** Anyway he said yes and he gave this rlly soft smile at me and I djshfjhjfgn djghfhl jdfjdg

 **Maki:** is that it

 **Maki:** what do you want me to say

 **Shuichi:** Idk be my moral support???? It’s not that hard!!!

 **Maki:** me?

 **Maki:** you have kaede for that

 **Shuichi:** Not feeling loved rn

 **Maki:** Woooo!!!! 😊😊 Go saihara-sama!!!! 😊😊 go get that astronaut dick!!! 💖❤️️💗❤️️💞💖

 **Shuichi:** Never type like that ever again.

 **Maki:** you asked

 **Shuichi:** You can just….. cheer me on….. in your own way like you normally would…..

 **Maki:** fuck shit up get the man trans icon

 **Shuichi:**...Feels missing

 **Maki:** dont die

 **Shuichi:** MUCH better

 **Maki:** when is it

 **Shuichi:** Midnight

 **Maki:** dont we have classes tomorrow?

 **Shuichi:** 8-12 classes only

 **Maki:** oh k

 **Maki:** where?

 **Shuichi:** Towa. The one everyone was fussing about during lunch earlier

 **Maki:** the unused building across the reserve course dorms?

 **Shuichi:** Yeah!!! Heard it’s really creepy at night

 **Shuichi:** Does that mean you’re going

 **Maki:** no

 **Shuichi:** Please :^(

 **Maki:** no

 **Shuichi:** Iruma is going and she hasn’t decided on a group or partner yet

 **Maki:** ugh

 **Shuichi:** Are you scared too

 **Maki:** what?

 **Maki:** you should know im the last kind of person to be afraid of ghosts

 **Shuichi:** It’s ok Maki I won’t judge

 **Maki:** i dont even believe in ghosts

 **Shuichi:** Me neither but for Momota-kun’s sake I will

 **Maki:** temporarily

 **Shuichi:** Yes.

 **Shuichi:** Anyway are you going w Iruma or not

 **Maki:** no

 **Shuichi:** She’s got no one to hold on to when we all get jumpscared :’(

 **Maki:** big words for someone who’s about the disappear from the face of the earth

 **Shuichi:** No strong, toned arms to cling onto,.,.,. she is all alone in the dark of the night.,.,., mayhaps there will be someone willing to??? Someone reliable, level-headed and rational…???? A beautiful, mysterious paramour with a roguish charm.,.,.,., hailing from a faraway land..,,.,., ???

 **Shuichi:** Haha just kidding

 **Shuichi:** Unless?

 **Maki:** pass away. now

 **Shuichi:** I’m taking that as a yes

* * *

**haha 69**

**[1:17 AM]**

**buzz lightyear:** I AM SAYING IT HERE TOO TO PROVE MY POINT BUT WE ARE NOT GOING TO THAT DAMN ROOM.

 **kork:** Sounds like you are chickening out.

 **buzz lightyear:** ABSOLUTELY NOT

 **antman:** Gonta didn’t join the ghost hunt, but he will go there if Momota-san feels frightened!

 **buzz lightyear:** THE LUMINARY OF THE STARS IS NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** whats going on?

 **die:** you’re not supposed to be awake.

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** aha sorry i knowww ;; im jittery again so im braiding kichi’s hair to get my hands moving when the notif for this group popped up

 **barney junior:** hello1amcrowd.jpeg

 **does she listen to girl in red:** those are nice braids!!! tenko thinks you look alright for a degenerate!!!

 **barney junior:** thx its the afterglow

 **Milf:** What?

 **barney junior:** from finishing assignments

 **Milf:** Oh.

 **die:** alright. just rest up when you can.

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** ok <3

 **die:**.

 **die:** <3

 **buzz lightyear:** OK WOW HAVE UR GALS BEING PALS(?) MOMENT AND ACT AS IF IM NOT IN AGONY VERY COOL EVERYONE

 **kork:** Ah.

 **kork:** Anyways, Akamatsu-san, to answer your question, I’ve had my eye on this particular room for a while, and I made a suggestion.

 **kork:** I don’t want to ramble so I’m cutting it short while I’m still aware of it, but Yonaga-san and I think something interesting will happen there.

 **rantaro shake:** ur saying that to intentionally scare everyone arent u

 **rantaro shake:** i am AFTER you kiyo i KNOW your ways

 **rantaro shake:** from one cryptid to another

 **kork:** Who knows? The answer will only be revealed when we’re there.

 **rantaro shake:** i have one fear

 **buzz lightyear:** THERE’S PROBABLY NOTHING IN THERE OK WE ARE NOT GOING

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** All of us will be going with you Momota-kun, don’t worry!!

 **buzz lightyear:** oh. oh yeah

 **buzz lightyear:** YEAH NEVER MIND SHU’S W ME WE’RE GOING

 **little witch academia:** he said /all/ of us here but ok

 **3 ft catboy:** lol

 **buzz lightyear:** I WILL PROTECT YOU GUYS

 **buzz lightyear:** ESP IF MY SIDEKICK IS HERE TO HELP ME

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:**!!!!

 **buzz lightyear:** :DD

* * *

**Saihara Shuichi > Harukawa Maki**

**[1:23 AM]**

**Shuichi:** I-

 **Maki:** its ok take ur time

 **Shuichi:** HE

 **Shuichi:** HELD MY HABD

 **Shuichi:** MY HSNDDD

 **Shuichi:** IT WAS SO WAMR HGKHG

 **Shuichi:** Help..,.,djgfdgjfnhgf././.dgjfkgh

 **Maki:** miu and i checked that room already so we’re just outside

 **Maki:** do virtual back pats count

 **Shuichi:** Yes,,,,,,,,,,,,

 **Maki:** sent

 **Shuichi:** Thank you for your service,,,,,,,,,,,

* * *

**haha 69**

**[1:31 AM]**

**buzz lightyear:** WHAT TGE UKCVFUCK WSA THAY

 **barney junior:** why are u on ur phone then

 **buzz lightyear:** NO FUCKING WAY IM SPEAKING OUT LOUD IN THIS HELL HOLE FUCK THAT SHIT

 **Milf:** I’m not there, but I do hope you all don’t actually come across any supernatural entities, for Momota’s sake.

 **3 ft catboy:** well i do. im not afraid of u ghosts just please take me now

 **does she listen to girl in red:** hoshi-san :/

 **antman:** :(

 **3 ft catboy:** jk jk lmaoo

 **barney junior:** kaechan and i r gonna sleep now btw

 **barney junior:** she says that everyone take care

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** ty kaebabe

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** also hey momota 👀 harukawa and i already went there wanna know something ;)

 **buzz lightyear:** FUCK OFF IRUMA I DONT NEED U MAKING THINGS WORSE FOR ME

 **little witch academia:** guys holy

 **rantaro shake:** oshit oshit

 **Keebs:** Did you guys see that?

 **little witch academia:** oh wow

 **little witch academia:** i think something just moved =o=

 **rantaro shake:** KAITO SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP SCREECHING

 **Keebs:** He really should. We technically hid behind this pile of armchairs so we don’t get seen and you’re almost giving us away…

 **plainjane:** i. i think we need to look out

 **plainjane:** the light came from the outside the door

 **rantaro shake:** the only other room down this hall is the rundown theatre?? that place is creepy as hell. even more scary than here bc theres literally NO light

 **kork:** Ominous. How peculiar.

 **yellow sharpie:** agreed!!! kami-sama thinks its very interesting!!!

 **buzz lightyear:** YOU TWO STOP TALKING IT’S NOT GOOD FOR MY HEART RATE

 **die:** do you guys seriously believe it’s a ghost

 **kork:** You and Iruma-san haven’t seen the strange light yet, no?

 **die:** oh yeah

 **kork:** I believe it’s an interesting find.

 **die:** k

 **die:** have fun

 **little witch academia:** you’re not going with us? -3-

 **die:** no. good night

 **little witch academia:** mood

 **gorilla grip 3000 deluxe supreme pussy:** same 😋😋 need my beauty sleep

 **buzz lightyear:** HAVE I NO T PRAYED ENOUGH

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** It’s probably just a flashlight or something, Momota-kun!!

 **buzz lightyear:** yeah. yeah ok i trust u

 **3 ft catboy:** ‘or something’

 **3 ft catboy:** hm. dont like that

 **plainjane:** does anyone see it omg

 **rantaro shake:** see what

 **rantaro shake:** oh

 **rantaro shake:** OH

 **buzz lightyear:** I DON’T FUCKING CARE ANYMORE SHU HOLD MY HANF AGAIN PLESE THSI IS TERRIFYIGN I HATE IT HEREEE

 **angry. #death #i want you dieded:** Oh um ok!!!

 **3 ft catboy:** the figure is very,.,..,., pale and very human

 **buzz lightyear:** I DO NOT LIKE THAT. I AM NOT LOOKING

 **3 ft catboy:** take me away demon man. take me by the hand

 **buzz lightyear:** HOSHI SHUT UP

 **plainjane:** its got to be someone’s ancestor

 **rantaro shake:** oh HELL yeah

 **plainjane:** omg this is just like anime

 **plainjane:** grass man hold my hand

 **rantaro shake:** no fuck you. im taking kiyo’s

 **plainjane:** omg </3

 **plainjane:** i saw that coming lol ill hold onto angie instead

 **little witch academia:** whats it doing i cant see =w=

 **does she listen to girl in red:** tenko thinks its

 **does she listen to girl in red:** its sitting down????

 **3 ft catboy:** what

 **kork:** Certainly not as exciting as I thought it would be, but still amusing nonetheless.

 **yellow sharpie:** angie was expecting a jumpscare

 **rantaro shake:** same

 **rantaro shake:** disappointing :/

 **plainjane:** 2/10 not that satisfying

 **buzz lightyear:** EVERYONE SHUT UP

 **buzz lightyear:** CAN WE GET OUT OF HERE NOW PL EASZE

 **3 ft catboy:** we should talk to it

 **does she listen to girl in red:** :0 we should!!!

 **little witch academia:** trust that youll keep us safe tenks ❤️️

 **does she listen to girl in red:** of course!!!! 💚

 **buzz lightyear:** NO.

 **buzz lightyear:** WE ARE NOT GOING NEAR AND TALKING TO THE WEIRD AND CREEPY SUPERNATURAL ENTITY!!!!

 **rantaro shake:** it looks friendly

 **rantaro shake:** do u think we can ask them if they know the answers for the history quiz on friday

 **kork:** Their knowledge might not be the most reliable if we take their time of death into consideration. But if they’ve been in this school for a while, then I believe there’s no harm in asking.

 **little witch academia:** what abt the bio seatwork

 **little witch academia:** just wanna make sure my answers were right =3=

 **buzz lightyear:** WHAT THE FUCK.

 **yellow sharpie:** its walking towards us!!! how divine!!!

 **kork:** Oh.

 **3 ft catboy:** yonaga r u okay ur lack of fear is super questionable

 **buzz lightyear:** NO ONONONO NO NOO

 **rantaro shake:** WAIT FUCK REALLY WHAT

 **plainjane:** WHAT DO WE DO

 **kork:** Throw salt at it.

 **yellow sharpie:** we dont have salt shinguji-kun :/

 **kork:** Throw Kiibo-kun’s antenna at it.

 **Keebs:** My what?!

 **Keebs:** Aren’t there any more plausible options?!

 **kork:** Throw Kiibo-kun at it.

 **Keebs:** NO

 **does she listen to girl in red:** momota-san threw his flashlight

 **rantaro shake:** FOLLOW HIS LEAD AND SCATTER

* * *

**haha 69**

**[7:19 AM]**

**shut the fuck up kaede:** good morning everyone!!

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** i read the backlog :D

 **shut the fuck up kaede:** and honestly what the fuck

 **die:** we don't talk about it

 **barney junior:** feeling more bad for the ghost than momota-chan rn

 **buzz lightyear:** shut up. please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suffering maki is very good. i am channeling it into existence
> 
> newer nicknames  
> c sharp b gay -> shut the fuck up kaede - Kaede


	13. #shutthefuckupgayboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Eggroll:** remember that time u locked the entire family out of the house and u were the only one inside for almost 10 hours
> 
>  **it's been 84 years:** im divorcing u as my brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a chatfic should def have a dnd chapter,.,,. bc why tf not

**Class Seventygay**

**[4:02 PM]**

**i get us into trouble:** im bored can we all play dnd again

 **Togami:** No.

 **i get us into trouble:** :’(

 **Eggroll:** oh yeah we can!!!

 **Togami:** I agree.

 **i get us into trouble:** i HATE it here

 **vroom vroom:** lol

 **11037:** whipped

 **i get us into trouble:** ok but fr can we

 **i get us into trouble:** dnd in my mouth pls pls im nothing

 **i get us into trouble:** class bonding or wateva

 **Kirigiri:** no.

 **i get us into trouble:** damn ok

 **i get us into trouble:** its always kyoko bullying me

 **i get us into trouble:** kyo disagree w me one more time and i'll kiss u

 **chihiro:** i-

 **chihiro:** dont you mean ‘kill’

 **i get us into trouble:** no i dont

 **chihiro:** ok just checking

 **vroom vroom:** i didnt actually join u guys last time yall played

 **vroom vroom:** is it good?

 **i get us out of trouble:** as did i. but i keep hearing nice things about it, is it fun?

 **stabbing is an occupation:** ^

 **Taka:** It is! You three should join us next session.

 **i get us into trouble:** YEAHHH U SHOULD JOIN US SAKURA <3333

 **ghost hater:** it’s a blast if u get into it

 **Celes:** If you ignore all the times Kuwata and Enoshima rolled to seduce inanimate objects when it was their turn, then yes.

 **ghost hater:** HAHAHADHSGDSFH

 **11037:** LISTEN when i said my character is a dude who’s attracted to anything w a pulse i MEANT it >:( im staying in character

 **juncock emoshima:** ME

 **chihiro:** a window doesnt have a pulse leon

 **11037:** yea i realized that when i sent it

 **vroom vroom:** lol

 **Togami:** Free speech shouldn’t be a human right.

 **11037:** u litrally rolled to just insult enemies every time it was ur turn shut the fuck up gay boy

 **ghost hater:** SHUT THE FUCK UP GAY BOY

 **ghost hater:** SOMEBODY PIN THAT PLEASE

**chihiro has pinned a message**

**Eggroll:** LEON I

 **discount miku:** MF CAME FOR HIS WIG AHAHAHADHDSKF

 **chihiro:** r u implying togami’s wearing a wig

 **discount miku:** yea duh wtf that cant be his real hair

 **discount miku:** it looks like a karen haircut

 **juncock emoshima:** HELP

 **11037:** KAREN HAIRCUTJHDFG&@M*(#*@

 **ghost hater:** SAYAKA HAHAHAHAHGSHFGHG

 **vroom vroom:** byakuya voice

 **vroom vroom:** let me speak to the manager

 **discount miku:** OMKSDHS8&*^#&^%^!@#$

 **Eggroll:** kuya im so sorry i just read that in your voice

 **chihiro:** KAREN!TOGAMI

 **ghost hater:** GET HIS ASS

**chihiro changed Togami’s nickname to Karen**

**juncock emoshima:** HAJDHJSJFHDJHGE

 **11037:** LMFAO LET HIM BREATHE

 **Karen:** You are all insufferable.

 **Karen:** Except you Makoto. You make pleasant company and I’m glad you’re here.

 **Eggroll:** we r litrally dating

 **discount miku:** ok pack it up gay ppl !!

 **i get us into trouble:** shut up guys can we play a proper game later or notttt

 **Kirigiri:** read that again.

 **i get us into trouble:** yea my bad :/ a proper game cant exist in this economy

 **i get us into trouble:** WAIT KYO NOT U AGAIN

 **i get us into trouble:** stop this slander ill kiss u for real like for real FORREAL

 **Kirigiri:**?

 **Kirigiri:** i’m just pointing out there won’t ever be a proper game if this class is the one that’s playing.

 **juncock emoshima:** ok wow u came for all of our tits damn

 **vroom vroom:** no hol on she’s right

 **Taka:** Agreed.

 **i get us into trouble:** kyoko ur like,.,.,.,., my platonic(?) gal pal u should b SUPPORTING me

 **Celes:** Why is the platonic part under question?

 **i get us into trouble:** u dont have the privilege to question me and kiwikrispy kokonut’s friendship yet

 **Kirigiri:** i

 **chihiro:** KIWIKRISPY

 **chihiro:** KOKONUT

 **chihiro:** HELPSJD&^#&hy&@!&@

 **11037:** JAIL

 **juncock emoshima:** JDHSJFHFJFDG

 **i get us into trouble:** KIWIKRISPY KOKONUT. KIWIKRISPYYY

**i get us into trouble changed Kirigiri’s nickname to kiwikrispy kokonut**

**Eggroll:** hina ur rights r slowly and slowly being revoked where is the FEAR

 **discount miku:** AHAHAHAHA

 **Eggroll:** let her REST

 **i get us into trouble:** NO REFUNDS ALLOWED

 **Taka:** I think we’re all derailing from the initial idea of this conversation.

 **i get us into trouble:** oh yeah as i was saying b4 i brutally murdered kyoko in cold blood

 **ghost hater:** stop coming for her ass damn

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** it’s not really a problem.

 **ghost hater:** if u say so lol

 **i get us into trouble:** im bored and ALL of us should play dnd just bc why tf not

 **vroom vroom:** dont yall need someone to dm or something??? is that the right word idk all the rules yet

 **Taka:** Oh!! I’ll DM you a list of terms.

 **vroom vroom:** thx bro

 **Eggroll:** chi can u dm for us again

 **chihiro:** no way im tired of dealing w yall

 **Eggroll:** lol

 **discount miku:** valid

 **ghost hater:** toko-chi can dm

 **Eggroll:** OH YEAH SHE CAN

 **ghost hater:** @no

 **no:** no

 **Eggroll:** pleaze :)

 **no:** that only works on togami

 **Eggroll:** oh :/

 **Eggroll:** pretty pleaze? :D

 **no:** no

**Eggroll added na0.komaru to the group**

**no:** what

 **i get us out of trouble:** oh.

 **discount miku:** LMAO LOW BLOWWWWWW

 **Karen:** He learned from only the best.

 **Celes:** *worst

 **Celes:** No other description would fit.

 **Karen:** Turn on your location, Ludenburg.

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** try anything and there won’t be a body when i'm done with you

 **ghost hater:** oi ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **i get us into trouble:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Eggroll:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **juncock emoshima:** THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG

 **na0.komaru:** hi i literally dont know any of u people???

 **na0.komaru:** what am i doing here

 **Eggroll:** i just felt like adding u here haha

 **Celes:** This is… certainly one way to meet the family. Right, Togami-kun?

 **Karen:** Soon. Soon. I WILL neutralize you.

 **Eggroll:** huh

 **na0.komaru:** ohhhh hi makoto!!

 **na0.komaru:** ahaha i just realized this is ur class my bad :D i think i recognize some of u

 **na0.komaru:** wait but why am i here

 **i get us into trouble:** dnd

 **11037:** convince ur gorlf to dm for us

 **na0.komaru:** my what now??

 **no:** they meant me

 **na0.komaru:** wha

 **na0.komaru:** OHHHH HII TOKI!! <3 <3

 **no:** hey

 **ghost hater:** lesbianisms real

 **no:** shut up

 **na0.komaru:** oh YEA it is

 **na0.komaru:** if i join will u dm

 **no:**.

 **11037:** LMAO

 **i get us into trouble:** she went right in for the kill jfc

 **Eggroll:** F

 **Eggroll:** also komaru ur name is boring ill change it

**Eggroll changed na0.komaru’s nickname to it’s been 84 years**

**it's been 84 years:** what does this mean

 **it's been 84 years:** MAKOTO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

 **Eggroll:** remember that time u locked the entire family out of the house and u were the only one inside for almost 10 hours

 **it's been 84 years:** im divorcing u as my brother

 **Eggroll:** that wont erase the past

 **it's been 84 years:** im still taller than you

 **Eggroll:** i hate it here

 **juncock emoshima:** #shutthefuckupgayboy

 **Eggroll:** GIVE ME A BREAK

 **discount miku:** omg r we finally we’re getting juicy family drama

 **ghost hater:** (tv commercial noises) and on this episode of Keeping Up With The Naegis

 **it’s been 84 years:** h

 **it’s been 84 years:** @discount miku maizono??? sayaka?? AS IN????

 **discount miku:** yep!! hi!!

 **it's been 84 years:** i

 **it's been 84 years:** ,

 **it's been 84 years:** oh uh

 **it's been 84 years:** haha hold on

 **it's been 84 years:** um

 **discount miku:**??????

 **discount miku:** komaru-san??? h??

 **Eggroll:** oh lol haha komaru’s malfunctioning bc. u were like,,,,,, her gay awakening two years ago

 **it's been 84 years:** MAKOTO SHUT THE FUCK UP

 **i get us into trouble:** LMFAOOOOOO

 **11037:** NICE SAYAKA

 **stabbing is an occupation:** she’s taken.

 **discount miku:** haha i don’t think she means it that way muku ;;

 **juncock emoshima:** never thought id see territorial mukuro today but damn im HERE for it

 **chihiro:** “territorial” she’s not an animal but ok

 **juncock emoshima:** no shes a furry have u seen the wolf tattoo on her hand

 **chihiro:** I?&?&#*^&*%Y?

 **11037:** i

 **i get us into trouble:** SHE’S WHATSFJ*#&*@)!@#$

 **discount miku:** SHE’S NOT A FURRY!!!!

 **stabbing is an occupation:** im a what now

 **juncock emoshima:** yes she is. in this essay i will

 **chihiro:** where’s the essay op

 **chihiro:** WHERE’S THE DAMN ESSAY

 **Eggroll:** WE R NOT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION TODAY

 **Karen:** There’s a difference between territorial and overprotective. Learn your nuances Enoshima.

 **11037:** wow togami just called u dumb

 **juncock emoshima:** mf ikr goddamn

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** @no will you play the dm role?

 **no:** yeah i guess

 **Taka:** Oh thank god.

 **vroom vroom:** why do u seem relieved

 **Taka:** No offense but I’d rather have Fukawa as DM compared to Chihiro or worse, Asahina.

 **chihiro:** no offense taken dw

 **i get us into trouble:** WHAT DID I DO???

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** exist.

 **i get us into trouble:** kyoko y </333 i thought we had something together </3333 y r u breaking up w me </3333

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** we’re not even in a relationship

 **i get us into trouble:** so my entire life was a LIE

 **Eggroll:** *kyoko voice* im tired of class 78 equally: naegi, togami, hagakure, fukawa, maizono, enoshima, ikusaba, kuwata, ishimaru, owada, fujisaki, yamada (skips over ogami and ludenburg),

 **Eggroll:** kyoko, narrowing her eyes: asahina

 **ghost hater:** LMAO

 **i get us into trouble:** heart been broke so many times 💔

 **11037:** ok but y is kirigiri more mean today whaddahell

 **i get us out of trouble:** we’re out of coffee and the line at the café was rather long this morning.

 **chihiro:** so shes just grumpy

 **chihiro:** makes sense

 **11037:** r u sure shes not having a withdrawal

 **Eggroll:** both of them r cries for help

 **ghost hater:** lol

 **Celes:** She’s not that hard to deal with.

 **discount miku:** r u sure ur crush on her isnt hindering ur judgement

 **Celes:** I will ‘crush’ you myself until there is nothing but powder left.

 **discount miku:** ONE FEAR

 **stabbing is an occupation:** you have to get through me first.

 **discount miku:** NO FEAR

 **it’s been 84 years:** why is everyone here so violent im scared

 **no:** @everyone when are we playing

 **i get us into trouble:** TONIGHT PLS PLS

 **Taka:** Is 8:00PM a reasonable time?

 **Eggroll:** we dont have much hw today so yep!! i think we can afford to slack off lolol

 **Taka:** Okay! 8 it is.

**Taka pinned a message**

**no:** you can share your characters here now or whatever

 **no:** for those who have no fucking idea you can ask others to help out

 **no:** you can make a proper character sheet, or a joke one. i don’t really care. you all won’t take the entire game seriously anyway

 **vroom vroom:** she came for all of us wow

 **ghost hater:** fair

 **Celes:** Do we have to make new ones, or can the characters we made for the last session carry over here?

 **no:** that’s something you can decide

 **Celes:** I see.

 **11037:** can i make a new one

 **11037:** i have a new guy

 **Eggroll:** oh no

 **discount miku:** oh god

 **Taka:** That’s not good.

 **11037:** RUDE?

 **11037:** anyways

 **11037:** his name is bob

 **it's been 84 years:** bob????

 **11037:** bob the builder

 **Karen:** For the love of god.

 **chihiro:** WHAT HAPPENED TO UR SEXY SUCCUBUS MAN WHAT IS THIS

 **chihiro:** YOU ARE *NOT* PLAYING AS BOB THE BUILDER

 **11037:** stop hogging on my ass what do u want me to call him??? bob the sexy builder???

 **chihiro:** its time to stop

 **11037:** hey fukawa im playing as bob the sexy builder

 **no:** k

 **11037:** i like to think he has good charisma

 **chihiro:** STOP

 **it’s been 84 years:** can makoto and i play as chicken wings inside the inventory of togami-kun’s character

 **Karen:**.

 **discount miku:** i-

 **i get us into trouble:** MAKOTO I LOV UR SISTER ALREADY

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** how will that work?

 **Eggroll:** we r like the angel and devil on ur shoulder

 **it’s been 84 years:** sentient chicken wings that whisper sweet nothings into ur ears

 **vroom vroom:** we did NOT need that mental image thank you

 **ghost hater:** so basically fried chicken but not fried and alive

 **it’s been 84 years:** oh. oh yeah

 **Eggroll:** tldr komaru and i r two chickens kuya brings around

 **Taka:** Starting off well I see! Good job everyone!

 **chihiro:** taka using sarcasm is always so weird to me

 **chihiro:** its like i dont even know him

 **discount miku:** is anyone here even going to play this srsly

 **11037:** no

 **11037:** whats ur character anyway

 **discount miku:** im playing as a dwarf

 **11037:** oh wow ur taking this fr?

 **no:** what’s their name?

 **discount miku:** kiwikrispy kokonut

 **11037:** LMFAO

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** wh

 **i get us into trouble:** FUCK U SAYAKA I WAS GONNA USE THAT

 **discount miku:** u can be my twin

 **i get us into trouble:** omg we’re twinning

 **i get us into trouble:** ok so me and sayaka r twin dwarfs

 **no:** and the name for yours?

 **i get us into trouble:** duh

 **i get us into trouble:** if shes kiwikrispy kokonut then i am

 **i get us into trouble:** krispy kreme

 **ghost hater:** HINA UR IQ IS OVER 99999

 **Karen:** You are all the worst.

 **Celes:** I think it’s amusing.

 **i get us out of trouble:** what are you playing as?

 **Celes:** Same as last time. A vampire. Her name is Malik, and she’s an arsonist.

 **i get us into trouble:** omg arson <3

 **Eggroll:** <3

 **ghost hater:** <3

 **vroom vroom:** HOW DOES THAT WORK

 **Celes:** That’s for you to figure out.

 **vroom vroom:** wtf

 **Taka:** It’s… mild compared to everyone else here. At the very least?

 **Taka:** Also, my character’s name is Sawyer. He is a half-elf paladin! He likes to fish in his spare time.

 **vroom vroom:** rad

 **chihiro:** poggers

 **i get us into trouble:** awww

 **i get us into trouble:** btw sakura what r u playing as???

 **i get us out of trouble:** tiefling. she’s a gardener. her name is kira.

 **it’s been 84 years:** AWWWW

 **i get us into trouble:** THAT’S MY GF YALL !!!!! ❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️

 **chihiro:** finally some semblance of NORMALCY around here

 **Taka:** Well, what flavor of normal are you playing as then?

 **Eggroll:** ‘flavor of normal’

 **chihiro:** togami byakuya

 **Karen:** What?

 **vroom vroom:** LOL

 **chihiro:** just read it again togee jfc

 **Eggroll:** TOGEE JFHDGHJDGHJFEKR

 **Karen:** I’m confused. Also don’t call me that.

 **chihiro:** aight ill say it again

 **chihiro:** im playing as togami byakuya

 **i get us into trouble:** i love it here

 **Karen:** That does not make any sense.

 **Karen:** You cannot play as me.

 **chihiro:** ofc i can ur not the dm

 **chihiro:** @no can i play as togami

 **no:** sure

 **Karen:** What.

 **chihiro:** HoE LL YEAG H

 **chihiro:** anyways togami byakuya is a ranger and he throws money at his enemies

 **juncock emoshima:** CHI UR GALAXY UNIVERSE NEUTRON STAR BRAIN

 **Karen:** Fine then. I’m playing as myself as well.

 **11037:** AHAHAHAHA

 **discount miku:** TWO TOGAMIS

 **vroom vroom:** togamiception

 **i get us into trouble:** mf how will this work 😭😭

 **ghost hater:** our team is so awful 💀

 **Eggroll:** tfw ur an enemy npc and u get beaten to death by two byakuyas

 **it's been 84 years:** two togamis

 **it's been 84 years:** u would love that wouldnt u

 **Eggroll:** KOMARU SHUT UPPPPP

 **juncock emoshima:** oh that reminds me

 **juncock emoshima:** since leon isnt playing as a sexy succubus i will

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** not again.

 **ghost hater:** on god

 **juncock emoshima:** stop being mean wtf guys </3

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** last campaign you tried to seduce a treasure chest when fujisaki-san told us you just needed to open it with the key in your inventory.

 **juncock emoshima:** not my best moment 🤟😔

 **it’s been 84 years:** SHE DID WHATKDJFKJJD

 **11037:** huh

 **11037:** what makes yall assume bob the sexy builder isnt a sexy succubus too

 **juncock emoshima:** SEXY SUCCUBUS

 **juncock emoshima:** BOB THE BUILDER

 **juncock emoshima:** YOUR MIND.

 **vroom vroom:** you guys are horrible

 **it’s been 84 years:** is everyone in this class mentally healthy like srs

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** no.

 **it’s been 84 years:** oh

 **stabbing is an occupation:** i have a character now.

 **stabbing is an occupation:** im playing as werewolf. they refuse to share their name.

 **discount miku:** baby no offense but that doesnt help ur ‘im not a furry’ case. like. at all

 **stabbing is an occupation:** what’s a furry?

 **juncock emoshima:** NOBODY TELL HER

 **discount miku:** MOVING ON

 **ghost hater:** im playing as a black cat

 **11037:** hiro what

 **ghost hater:** his name is komaeda

 **i get us into trouble:** KO

 **i get us into trouble:** KOMAEDA

 **juncock emoshima:** KOMAEDAJHS89&#*&$@*#)

 **11037:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **discount miku:** GIRL NOT KOMAEDA-SENPAI 😭😭😭

 **ghost hater:** OH TO BE A BLACK CAT NAMED KOMAEDA

 **Eggroll:**.,.,.,..,anyway

 **Eggroll:** @vroom vroom wat r u playing as???

 **vroom vroom:** can i play as a horse

 **Taka:** A horse…?

 **ghost hater:** HORSE BOY

 **i get us into trouble:** HORSE BOY

 **11037:** HELP

 **discount miku:** bruh i

 **juncock emoshima:** if horses are hung does that mean mondo is

 **Taka:** Please don’t say what I think you’re going to say.

 **juncock emoshima:** mondo is

 **juncock emoshima:** mondo

 **Eggroll:** uh huh.

 **juncock emoshima:** he’s

 **11037:** JUNKO I STG

 **juncock emoshima:** he’s. haha. He is

 **juncock emoshima:** h

 **chihiro:** PLEASE NEVER COMPLETE THAT SENTENCE PLEASE PLEASE

 **vroom vroom:** shut the fuck up. as in shut the fuck up. literally shut the fucking fuck up

**chihiro muted juncock emoshima for five (5) minutes**

**discount miku:** AHAHAHAHAHSJHADJ

 **11037:** this is so sad chihiro play palisades

 **no:** is everyone done

 **no:** the plan is im just gonna take a no prep one shot campaign so we get everything done in one night

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** are you sure one night is enough for this class

 **no:** not really

 **i get us out of trouble:** damn 😬

 **ghost hater:** #DESTROYED

 **11037:** 8 was the time right

 **11037:** common rooms or do we do it here???

 **Taka:** Don’t. It gets really hot there if it’s too crowded. And we have a reserve course student with us.

 **it's been 84 years:** ahahaha hiiiii

**chihiro added 5E Dice Bot to the group**

**chihiro:** dw guys

 **chihiro:** we can play it here w the bot

 **Taka:** Thank you.

 **Taka:** I will just tag everyone when it’s time. Until then, please complete any unfinished homework so you don’t have to worry about tomorrow. I’ll be asking from time to time today until 8!

 **vroom vroom:** later yall

 **Eggroll:** ok ok 8??? gotcha gotcha

 **stabbing is an occupation:** this is going to be a disaster.

 **it's been 84 years:** ive just known yall for like… almost an hour?? but still yeah i find myself agreeing

 **no:** it will be.

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[8:06 PM]**

**Taka:** @everyone Are you all good to go?

 **i get us out of trouble:** i think everyone will show up the more we progress.

 **chihiro:** pog

 **it's been 84 years:** hi everyone!!

 **Karen:** Other than my intense desire to throttle Ludenburg as per usual, then yes, we’re good to go.

 **Celes:** You can’t kill me in a way that matters.

 **Karen:** I will find it, and I will do it to you.

 **11037:** marriage w the straights b like

 **i get us into trouble:** LMAO

 **i get us into trouble:** mamaaa the pricks r fighting again

 **juncock emoshima:** @Eggroll @kiwikrispy kokonut go get yo dog bitches

 **Eggroll:** lol

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** my what?

 **juncock emoshima:** your bitch

 **juncock emoshima:** yo dog

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** i don’t have a dog.

 **juncock emoshima:** im talking abt celeste girl is u blind

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** she’s not my bitch.

 **juncock emoshima:** clearly she aint ur bitch bc u arent trying

 **i get us into trouble:** GET HER ASS

 **ghost hater:** ENOSHIMA I WANT THAT TEXT TATTOOED ONTO MY FRONTAL LOBE

 **Eggroll:** *crowd goes wild*

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** ,

 **Karen:** Pathetic, Kirigiri.

 **Eggroll:** GO KUYA GO

 **i get us into trouble:** GO RICH BOY GO

 **discount miku:** is today bully kyoko day or smthn

 **stabbing is an occupation:** not really. if it was, asahina-san would be having a field day.

 **i get us into trouble:** SO TRUE QUEEN R U SINGLE

 **stabbing is an occupation:** no?

 **discount miku:** hey im right HERE

 **i get us into trouble:** oop

 **vroom vroom:** @Taka @no everyone’s on u two

 **no:** OH HELL YEAH

 **11037:** heyy wazzup queen

 **Taka:** Oh! Is Syo-san fronting tonight?

 **no:** AYYYY 🤙😌

 **it’s been 84 years:** hi syo!!!! 💗💗💞💞💞💘💘

 **no:** HEY BABEE 💖💖💕💕💖💖💕💕

**it’s been 84 years: 💗💗💞💞💞💘💘**

**ghost hater:** LESBIANS REALLLL

 **no:** anyway i read the backlog and a document of shit to post that miss morose left for me so im still DMing for u guys or whatevah

 **no:** apparently she doesn’t want yall assigning turn orders to each other bc u guys fucking suck

 **i get us out of trouble:** fair.

 **no:** neways ill paste the passages she prepared and yall will just have to type in what you want your character to do

 **no:** also big mac asked chichi to pin the bot commands for the dice bot so look at it and use it when performing an action

 **no:** do yall follow or will i have to say this shit again

 **vroom vroom:** nah we good we good

 **no:** aight wait

 **11037:** can we get some pogs in the chat b4 we start

 **chihiro:** pog

 **juncock emoshima:** poggers

 **Eggroll:** pogchamp

 **it's been 84 years:** poggerific

 **11037:** god bles

 **no:** yall here it goes

 **no:** You learn that the local clerics have been going missing and a plague has exacerbated in their absence. The sickness is spreading rapidly, and you have identified that the source is spread by rats that comes from under the city.

 **no:** Underneath the city is a citadel. A crypt. Dead, eerie fog lingers in the entryways. The night is dark and you hear the rattling of bones from the inside.

 **no:** You stand at the dungeon entrance, surrounded by other adventurers with the same goal as you. They all seem to be contemplating on how to traverse to the heart of the crypt to solve this problem.

 **no:** However, the gates that lead into it can’t be opened easily, as you see chains circling the handles. You notice a strange, magical barrier is surrounding the gate as well. What do you do?

 **juncock emoshima:** i roll to seductively lick the barrier

 **Eggroll:** NO

 **ghost hater:** ICONIC

 **i get us into trouble:** SEDUCTIVELY??? 💀💀

 **Taka:** Great start everyone!

 **Karen:** For fuck’s sake.

 **no:** yo r u.,.,., like. super positive,,, blondie

 **juncock emoshima:** FUCK YEAH

 **juncock emoshima:** what ability check is this

 **no:** uh

 **no:** ,,,,,charisma?

 **juncock emoshima:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user juncock emoshima rolled a 1!_

 **it's been 84 years:** ONE-

 **no:** You lean in to 'seductively' lick the barrier, but halfway you slip and end up bashing your head into it instead. You hear a crunching sound.

 **juncock emoshima:** oh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the real adventure begins next chap!! anyways my friend told me this fic is like.,,,,,, lowkey kirihina leaning and you know what. u know what. it is. it is. i am not immune to kirihina propaganda
> 
> edit: newerish nicknames  
> Kirigiri -> kiwikrispy kokonut - Kyoko  
> it's been 84 years - Komaru


	14. thank u king its the menthol illnezz <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **kiwikrispy kokonut:** i have another question.
> 
>  **i get us out of trouble:** no, kirigiri-san, you can’t throw togami #2 into the depths like the last time you did when we came across a pit. no matter how much he deserves it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO i forgot this fic existed bc college sucks 😁 to make up for everything this chap is like. 6k words or something

**Class Seventygay**

**[8:13 PM]**

**ghost hater:** the game just started and i cant believe enoshima’s already fucking dead

 **juncock emoshima:** IM NOT DEAD YET HEADASS

 **ghost hater:** dw we’ll honor ur memory

 **i get us into trouble:** dw we got u queen

 **juncock emoshima:** IM NOT DEAD????

 **i get us out of trouble:** …does anyone have anything useful to contribute?

 **Karen:** I use vicious mockery on the barrier.

 **Eggroll:** …kuya u cant insult a barrier

 **Karen:** Unfortunate. Carry on then.

 **11037:** i roll to have bob seduce the barrier

 **Eggroll:** i

 **no:** WOW OK CHAD

 **chihiro:** jfc

 **juncock emoshima:** FUCK IT UP BOB THE BUILDER

 **Eggroll:** STOP

 **discount miku:** DO IT LEON NO BALLS

 **11037:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user 11037 rolled a 15!_

 **vroom vroom:** lmao thats high

 **no:** Your flirting is impressive and if it were a normal, breathing person, they might have fallen for your charms. However, this is a magic barrier, so it’s useless.

 **i get us into trouble:** AHAHAHASDNDJSHJ

 **juncock emoshima:** NOOOO NOT BOB AND HIS JUICY ASS

 **discount miku:** JUICY???SA/?@??#?$?

 **11037:** WORTH

 **11037:** glad to know if it were anyone else they wouldve wanted to fuck bob the sexy succubus builder

 **Karen:** Shut up. Please.

 **11037:** no :)

 **vroom vroom:** lmao is anyone else going to do something

 **stabbing is an occupation:** i roll to stab the barrier.

 **Taka:** ,

 **Taka:** Why.

 **it's been 84 years:** ur chat name checks out lol

 **Taka:** Can we at least stop and try to think of very efficient ways to make use of our turns? Please? Not just… flirting with inanimate objects or stabbing them without at least one sliver of foresight.

 **11037:** no <3

 **i get us into trouble:** no <3

 **juncock emoshima:** no <3

 **Taka:** Never mind.

 **chihiro:** mukuro b like stabbing is an emotion

 **discount miku:** while yall were busy gaying around she was studying the blade

 **chihiro:** wait hol up

**chihiro changed stabbing is an occupation’s nickname to stabbing is an emotion**

**Celes:** The fact that all of Ikusaba-san’s nicknames have and/or mention stabbing is a testament to her brand.

 **it's been 84 years:** thats kinda scary haha

 **discount miku:** i think its hot <3

 **stabbing is an emotion:**.

 **it's been 84 years:** UM????

 **11037:** woaaaaa???!?!?! ultimate pop idol has knifeplay kink?!?!?! click here to find out more?!?!!

 **discount miku:** leon you little bitch ill fucking strangle you

 **11037:** HEUEHEUEHEUFRHEDJKE

 **juncock emoshima:** YALL STFU MUKURO JUST ROLL

 **stabbing is an emotion:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user stabbing is an emotion rolled a 7!_

 **no:** You reckon you are able to stab through the barrier with some effort, but again, this is a magic barrier, so once you make contact with it you hear the clanging of metal and your weapon flies out of your hands. It’s still up.

 **stabbing is an emotion:** lol

 **discount miku:** this is so sad can yall give her an F

 **no:** F

 **11037:** F

 **ghost hater:** F

 **vroom vroom:** F

 **Eggroll:** F

 **chihiro:** F

 **it’s been 84 years:** F

 **i get us into trouble:** F

 **juncock emoshima:** no

 **discount miku:** fuck you then

 **ghost hater:** can i roll for komaeda to flirt with the barrier

 **11037:** i forgot hiro’s character was a fucking cat and for a second there i imagined komaeda-senpai giving pickup lines to a magic sphere

 **juncock emoshima:** me to da barrier like im in love w the hope that sleeps inside of you ❤️️

 **11037:** bro this is komaeda the cat how is he gonna talk all that bc hes u know. a cat

 **juncock emoshima:** imw in wove wiv the howpe that sweeps inswide of ywo owo uwu meow meow *nuzzles you* 

**Eggroll:** HELPPPPsjakdj38*@&*&#

 **i get us into trouble:** SHGHFGSHFJF@*&*&&#????

 **chihiro:** hiro ur character is a cat. How

 **chihiro:** how. how do you

 **ghost hater:** i do what i want im not a coward

 **juncock emoshima:** the barrier isnt a furry bro try it next time

 **chihiro:** HAHDJSHFJDFHKELEREKE

 **i get us into trouble:** i cant take this game seriously knowing someone named komaeda is in the party jfdhfgjdhgjfh

 **i get us out of trouble:** technically, no one is taking the game seriously.

 **i get us into trouble:** oh u right

 **Eggroll:** me throwing komaeda the cat at an enemy npc like a pokeball

 **it's been 84 years:** HAHAHASDGSHFK

 **11037:** KOMAEDA!!!!!! I CHOOSE YOU!!!!!!

 **i get us into trouble:** PLEASESAJDKJR

 **ghost hater:** can yall stop dissing me and my catboy

 **discount miku:** ME AND

 **discount miku:** ME AND MY CATBOY

 **ghost hater:** fine i roll to meow at the barrier

 **Eggroll:** i-

 **vroom vroom:** i dont think u even need to roll for that bro

 **no:** You meow at the barrier. Nothing happens.

 **11037:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

 **ghost hater:** damn dw kitty komaeda u will get them next time 😔😔

 **discount miku:** take this L king

 **Celes:** Anyone else with good and preferably useful ideas?

 **Karen:** Please.

 **i get us out of trouble:** i closely examine the area around the barrier, and the gate by extension. this is a perception check, right?

 **no:** AY 🤙🤙

 **i get us out of trouble:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user i get us out of trouble rolled an 18!_

 **no:** You start carefully examining the area around the barrier, and find that the barrier keeps fluctuating every few seconds. You are insightful enough to realize that it means the barrier has sustained magic damage overtime and is now in a severely weakened state.

 **i get us into trouble:** YAYYYY

 **i get us into trouble:** sakura once again proving how worthy she is of the crown plssss queen activity 🗣🗣🗣

 **Karen:** Good. Some progress.

 **ghost hater:** chill togababy the session just started lmao

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** makoto? i have a question.

 **Eggroll:** oh what is it???

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** what’s the name of you and komaru-san as chickens?

 **Eggroll:** oh

 **Eggroll:** uh hold on

 **Eggroll:** got it

 **juncock emoshima:** it better be good egg boy !!

 **Eggroll:** uuuhhhhhh

 **Taka:** Please be normal names.

 **Eggroll:** im emo

 **it's been 84 years:** and im swag

 **Taka:** God damn it.

 **no:** nice

 **vroom vroom:** nice

 **juncock emoshima:** nice

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** thank you.

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** i roll to steal emo and swag out of togami-kun, the real one’s, hands and throw them at the barrier.

 **Eggroll:** HUH

 **it's been 84 years:** WH

 **ghost hater:** AHAHAHAHA

 **juncock emoshima:** HAHGDHA%@*(*$%$$!!#

 **chihiro:** ISJBFJDSBFJEKRKRL???

 **i get us into trouble:** KYOKOSJ&*@&???!(*@

 **discount miku:** NOT THE CHICKENS 💀💀

 **it’s been 84 years:** this is betrayal

 **it’s been 84 years:** kirigiri-senpai i thought u were my brother’s best friend

 **Eggroll:** clucks sadly :’(

 **it's been 84 years:** :’(

 **Celes:**?

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** what?

 **i get us into trouble:** celes: h / kyoko, who’s learned celes speak thru osmosis: yes my dear what do u need my dear do those heels need polishing do u need t

 **Eggroll:** AHAHAHAHAHAHHA

 **ghost hater:** kyoko-chi bullying week fr

 **no:** lol stfu u plebs i think i get why shes ?????

 **no:** bro @kiwikrispy kokonut u dont even have a character yet

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** oh.

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** i'll play as togami.

 **it's been 84 years:** JHSJE,.@(&!o*$%???

 **Karen:** You just lost my respect for you, Kirigiri.

 **i get us into trouble:** i can’t believe this class has THREE byakuya kinnies this is catastrophic 😬😬😬

 **ghost hater:** byakuya-chi u have a clone infestation :(

 **stabbing is an emotion:** …infestation

 **it’s been 84 years:** ok but can anyone photoshop makoto into that meme w the girl in the white sofa surrounded by guys except its all togami

 **Eggroll:** KOMARUUUuuGJHJh@*&$??@(((#!!#

 **i get us into trouble:** AHAHAHAHDGHSDGHSGE

 **discount miku:** IM HOWLING????

 **no:** babe ur brain is so wide i wanna kiss u thru the phone screen 😍😍😍😍

 **ghost hater:** i

 **11037:** well if u guys don’t like that

 **11037:** they have to start voring each other to win and get the title of the REAL togami

 **juncock emoshima:** V V VVVV

 **i get us into trouble:** VORING

 **vroom vroom:** togami slither.io?

 **Taka:**.

 **ghost hater:** SLI,.,.,.,

 **ghost hater:** SLITHER.IO.

 **chihiro:** togami.io

 **11037:** PLEASESDKJR

 **Eggroll:** I HATE IT HEREEEEE

 **Karen:** You no-brained commoners _are_ aware that I’m still here, right?

 **discount miku:** vore.

 **discount miku:** say sike rn

 **discount miku:** guys say sike rn

 **chihiro:** SAY SIKE RN AHHSJKHSSHRJE

 **11037:** no quadruples

 **discount miku:** AJHAHWIYREJL)@*)*% &&#

 **Eggroll:** SHUT UP GUYS I STG

 **ghost hater:** NO QUADRUPLES

 **vroom vroom:** oh god there’s three of them

 **chihiro:** not on three of them

 **Celes:** Clearly a crime against humanity to allow that.

 **Karen:** Fuck you.

 **11037:** mf celeste isnt giving him any space to breathe 😭😭

 **i get us into trouble:** get his ass

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** …can i roll now?

 **no:** lmao go ahead

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user kiwikrispy kokonut rolled a 15!_

 **no:** You successfully throw Emo and Swag at the barrier with minimal effort. Nothing happens.

 **no:** sorry boys but the chickens aint cutting it

 **no:** even if the chicken is dekomaru

 **it’s been 84 years:** i mean ur not supposed to have a bias-

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** was worth a try.

 **11037:** F for our chicken comrades

 **discount miku:** u didnt have to throw our dinner like that

 **i get us into trouble:** yea kyo don’t play w ur food

 **it’s been 84 years:** UM

 **i get us out of trouble:** does anyone have any ideas on how to take down the barrier?

 **Celes:** I roll to set Togami-kun--the version the real one is playing--on fire and throw him at the barrier.

 **Eggroll:** i

 **juncock emoshima:** LMAOOOOOOO

 **ghost hater:** NICE CELESTE

 **i get us into trouble:** #likeatruearsonist

 **11037:** LET HIM BREATHEEEEEEE

 **i get us into trouble:** SHE’S OUT FOR BLOOD TODAY JFC

 **chihiro:** KSDOFJDSFJ WHAT IS WITH EVERYONE HERE AND JUST RANDOMLY THROWING ANYTHING AT THE BARRIER INSTEAD OF YOU KNOW???? JUST CASTING A SPELL????

 **chihiro:** I SWEAR TO GOD

 **Taka:** I’ve been asking that since the beginning.

 **Karen:** I roll to stop her before anything happens.

 **vroom vroom:** oh boy

 **Taka:** Oh no.

 **no:** thats like. a speed roll for both of u losers

 **Celes:** I’m rolling.

 **Celes:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user Celes rolled an 8!_

 **Karen:** I can beat that easily.

 **Karen:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user Karen rolled a 2!_

 **Karen:** ,

 **juncock emoshima:** LMAO GET FUCKED JEFF BEZOS

 **ghost hater:** JEFF BEZOSKSJFKAHAHAHA

 **no:** Malik successfully lights Togami #2 on fire and throws him at the barrier, and somehow, the barrier goes down. However the remaining embers have set the nearby Komaeda on fire as well.

 **no:** couldve saved catboy komaeda by rolling a double digit my guys 🤘😔

 **ghost hater:** HUH

 **i get us into trouble:** HIRO NOOOOO

 **discount miku:** NOT CATBOY KOMAEDA

 **Eggroll:** ‘komaeda on fire’ i am passing away

 **it's been 84 years:** due to personal reasons i have chosen to evaporate

 **stabbing is an emotion:** at least we got the barrier down?

 **Taka:** Yes.

 **i get us into trouble:** yeah but at the cost of our COMRADE

 **chihiro:** JUST????? DOUSE THE BURNING GUYS WITH WATER AND HEAL JUNKO AND HER STUPID CONCUSSION??? SO WE CAN GO IN???

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** you know full well we’ll take the hardest way in and out when it comes to these.

 **i get us out of trouble:** ^

 **chihiro:** ………………yeah

 **chihiro:** hold on

 **chihiro:** i roll to douse komaeda the cat with water

 **no:** bro as much as i wanna fool u i kno u don’t need to roll for that lol

 **chihiro:** OH

 **it's been 84 years:** yay!!!

 **no:** lol

 **no:** You do your best to put the fire out. Komaeda is okay.

 **chihiro:** HELL YEAH

 **ghost hater:** chi :’D

 **chihiro:** :D

 **11037:** COMRADE

 **i get us into trouble:** COMRADE

 **discount miku:** COMRADE

 **juncock emoshima:** so

 **juncock emoshima:** yall just gonna leave me concussed huh

 **Eggroll:** yeah and what about it

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[9:26 PM]**

**no:** You have been exploring the crypt for a long while now. There hasn’t been much clues that point to where you should be going, or where the source of the plague really lies. However, as you turn a corner, you are met with the sound of the rattling chains and the cold, lifeless eyes of the undead. What do you do?

 **11037:** i seduce them 

**Karen:** I use vicious mockery.

 **chihiro:** r u fucking kidding me

 **chihiro:** not now togami #2

 **Karen:** Whatever.

 **11037:** COME TO PAPA BOB MY BOYS

 **juncock emoshima:** whoaaa sexy succubus construction worker

 **Eggroll:** NO

 **11037:** ugh fine i give one of them a flying kiss

 **Eggroll:** …much better?

 **vroom vroom:** not really dude

 **Eggroll:** yeah ur right nvm

 **11037:** dont try to stop me >:///

 **11037:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user 11037 rolled a 3!_

 **11037:** bruh

 **no:** Your charms do not work on them, and you hit on Kiwikrispy Kokonut instead.

 **11037:** WH

 **juncock emoshima:** JSAHJEJHJEKSEKR???

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** …?

 **discount miku:** LMAOAJSADHSJFELE

 **discount miku:** WAIT GUYS HOL ON I THINK SYO MEANT ME HAHAHAHAGSHADGE

 **no:** YEAH LMAOOOOO

 **i get us into trouble:** SHJEHJEJKJKA I FORGOT THAT WAS UR CHARACTER’S NAME I 😭😭😭

 **i get us into trouble:** omg wait also twinnie i almost forgot u were my twinnie <3 kiwikrispy-chan

 **ghost hater:** KIWIKRISPY-CHAN????

 **Eggroll:** KIWIKRISPY-CHAN EHWHEJWRE

 **discount miku:** this is so sad can yall salute to my mans leon

 **chihiro:** my mans

 **discount miku:** leon no hetero bro

 **11037:** no hetero

 **11037:** bro

 **discount miku:** ay

 **11037:** ay

 **Karen:** Any better ideas? Even if I expect absolutely nothing from you buffoons.

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** how about you think of something that isn’t vicious mockery then?

 **ghost hater:** #kyoko: uno reverse

 **i get us into trouble:** hold up money bags stop typing i have a genius plan

 **i get us into trouble:** i roll to throw junko’s body at the undead

 **juncock emoshima:** HUH????

 **chihiro:** HAHAHAHA

 **11037:** NO MERCY PLEASEEE 💀

 **discount miku:** NOT THE CONCUSSED ONE

 **vroom vroom:** asahina the bitch is concussed

 **i get us into trouble:** and??? idc idc

 **no:** LMAO

 **ghost hater:** GET HER ASS

 **discount miku:** JHSJHEJHEJED

 **juncock emoshima:** MF ILL KILL YOU??@”$$ll@@@$#

 **juncock emoshima:** HINA U FUCKING WHORE IM UNCONSCIOUS

 **stabbing is an emotion:** just roll already.

 **Eggroll:** oop-

 **juncock emoshima:** MUKURO WHAT

 **Taka:** The image of a dwarf throwing the body of a concussed succubus twice their size at a pack of reanimated skeletons is weird to me.

 **it's been 84 years:** umm haha senpai no offense but shouldn’t u be expecting this from ur class haha

 **Taka:**.

 **Taka:** Yes, unfortunately.

 **ghost hater:** #taka: i hate gay people. i hate gay people so much its unreal

 **vroom vroom:** pack it up boys we’re done here

 **Eggroll:** sjdshfjhsjejeke

 **i get us into trouble:** it wont be weird if junko catches these nuts

 **juncock emoshima:** i hate u hina ill bash ur skull in

 **i get us into trouble:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user i get us into trouble rolled an 18!_

 **vroom vroom:** damn that’s high as shit

 **it's been 84 years:** WHY IS IT SO HIGH HAHAHAHASEGH

 **juncock emoshima:** *bashes on the metal door repeatedly* LET ME OUTTTT

 **no:** Your strength is enough to throw Junko’s unconscious body flying and at the pack of undead, however, one of them has been waiting to properly aim their bow and arrow and it seems Junko is the target.

 **juncock emoshima:** WHAT

 **chihiro:** wait

 **chihiro:** WE’RE GONNA KILL HER ?????

 **stabbing is an emotion:** hm.

 **Karen:** Finally.

 **Celes:** Perfect.

 **Taka:** Good riddance.

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** not an inconvenience.

 **i get us out of trouble:** i see no problem.

 **Eggroll:** UM

 **i get us into trouble:** junko hate club real

 **discount miku:** junko hate club real

 **juncock emoshima:** damn :/ this is what i get for having a fat juicy ass huh

 **Karen:** Please shut up and just accept your fate.

 **ghost hater:** BYAKUYA-CHI JUST SNAPPED WHOLEASSS DKJSJRSJENEKE

 **11037:** u know u got problems when it’s the millionaire coming after u 😭

 **i get us into trouble:** SKAJEKJEKDKKS

 **discount miku:** he said: then perish

 **it’s been 84 years:** i mean at least he said please??

 **chihiro:** lol

 **i get us out of trouble:** him being able to type ‘please’ through the physical recoiling of talking to enoshima is proof of his patience, at least?

 **i get us into trouble:** hell yea honeyy crush her fucking cranium 👏👏👏

 **Eggroll:** i cant fucking see through the tears realizing we’re ratio-ing junko of all people omg

 **juncock emoshima:** NOT SAKURA 😭

 **juncock emoshima:** i hate HATE it here

 **no:** theres still hope for u and ur stupid ass

 **no:** ur not gonna die yet lol

 **vroom vroom:** ayo tf just kill her

 **ghost hater:** MONDOOO HAHAHAHAHA

 **11037:** GET HER GET HER BARK BARK WOOOF WOOF GGRR BARK

 **juncock emoshima:** huh???? syo wtf u saying

 **no:** bro blondetits u gotta roll a saving throw

 **juncock emoshima:** PLEASE LADY LUCK I WILL LICK THE DIRT OFF OF YOUR BOOTS FOR ONE WEEK IF U LET ME LIVE

 **11037:** yo wat makes u assume lady luck’s wearing boots

 **11037:** what if she’s barefoot

 **stabbing is an emotion:** junko, i swear to every being that is holy, if you say that you will still lick the foot fungus i will dismember you.

 **juncock emoshima:** I

 **juncock emoshima:** I WASNT GONNA SAY ANYTHING SJHHFJHJEK

 **11037:** U TOTALLY WERE SHUT UP?????

 **discount miku:** F.

 **discount miku:** FOOT FUNGUS

 **juncock emoshima:** I WASNT I WASNTTTT FUCK OFFF

 **i get us into trouble:** KWJHHJEJDSSEKS

 **Eggroll:** the fact that i saw her typing i

 **juncock emoshima:** SHUT UPPP

 **Karen:** I’m transferring to the other section.

 **juncock emoshima:** I DIDN’T FUCKING TYPE ANYTHING I HATE YOU GUYS

 **Taka:** I. I. I don’t know how to deal with you guys anymore.

 **chihiro:** LMFAO

 **ghost hater:** im goin to pretend i dont know yall

 **ghost hater:** how do you do fellow kids!!!! ✌️😁

 **no:** all this mental stress aint good for the baby my dudes

 **it’s been 84 years:** im. im so disturbed.

 **no:** *that* baby

 **juncock emoshima:** FUCK U MUKURO UR RUINING MY IMAGE IN FRONT OF A RESERVE COURSE STUDENT I HATE U </33333

 **stabbing is an emotion:** im just looking out for you.

 **juncock emoshima:** i hate u sm fr fr

 **juncock emoshima:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user juncock emoshima rolled a 16!_

 **no:** You fly past and the undead misses their shot. You narrowly escaped death then and there.

 **juncock emoshima:** GET FUCKED U CUCKS

 **Taka:** Next time.

 **juncock emoshima:** W

 **no:** damn bitch he want u DEAD

 **ghost hater:** can i roll to meow at the skellies

 **chihiro:** uhmmm???? u don’t need to roll for that????

 **ghost hater:**!dice roll d20

 **chihiro:** nvm

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user ghost hater rolled a 20!_

 **Eggroll:** HUH

 **chihiro:** WAIT WHAT

 **vroom vroom:** what the fuck

 **it’s been 84 years:** HAGAHEGHGEHl@l()#!???!

 **discount miku:** ALL HAIL COMRADE KOMAEDA

 **i get us into trouble:** COMRADE KOMAEDA

 **11037:** COMRADE KOMAEDA

 **ghost hater:** THANK U EVERYONE KISSES U ALL

 **no:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

 **no:** bro u kno what i vibe w u guys lots

 **no:** You meow at the undead.

 **ghost hater:** enough has been said 💅💅💅

 **11037:** so true king

 **discount miku:** so true so true!!!!

 **i get us into trouble:** OOMF SAID A BANGER

 **Eggroll:** we. we arent getting anywhere

 **stabbing is an emotion:** can i have my turn now?

 **11037:** ur going to stab them arent u

 **discount miku:** lol

 **stabbing is an emotion:** i roll to stab the skeletons.

 **11037:** SEE

 **it's been 84 years:** HOW are u still on brand omg

 **Celes:** Ah. I roll to set them on fire then.

 **it's been 84 years:** i

 **Eggroll:** its ok komaru idk whats happening either

 **i get us into trouble:** WHOA WAIT HOL UP

 **Karen:** …I expected nothing from you, Ludenburg.

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** we don’t expect anything from you either, but sure.

 **i get us into trouble:** KYOKO SHJAHEJHDSJ&@*#&*^#

 **11037:** OOP

 **chihiro:** karen bezos found dead in tokyo

 **juncock emoshima:** KAREN BEZOS.

 **Taka:** We can’t come in without a plan!! I roll to stop them!

 **chihiro:** TRIPLE SPEED ROLL????

 **vroom vroom:** i roll to break all of their knees before they do anything

 **Eggroll:** o

 **i get us into trouble:** WH

 **chihiro:** surprisedpikachu.jpeg

 **ghost hater:** BRO WHAT

 **11037:** MONDO HOLY SHIT

 **juncock emoshima:** aye-

 **discount miku:** what the fuck is happening 😃😃😃

 **stabbing is an emotion:**!dice roll d20

 **Celes:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user stabbing is an emotion rolled a 12!_

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user Celes rolled an 8!_

 **Celes:** That’s unfortunate.

 **Taka:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user Taka rolled a 15!_

 **Taka:** Thank god.

 **vroom vroom:** lol

 **vroom vroom:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user vroom vroom rolled an 18!_

 **Taka:** Oh.

 **11037:** OOF

 **ghost hater:** HORSE BOY

 **i get us into trouble:** HORSE BOY

 **discount miku:** SJHDJSHSJHJD*@&#*&!!##??!

 **vroom vroom:** whoa wait i didnt expect to get that high lol

 **vroom vroom:** sorry bro

 **no:** The horse proceeds to break all of your legs. A crunch is heard and vibrates throughout the empty hall.

 **Taka:** …well, that was painful to read!

 **stabbing is an emotion:** hm

 **11037:** u guys just got fucking neigh neighed

 **i get us into trouble:** NEIGH NEIGHED SJKHFJDSHJEL

 **ghost hater:** homeboy just incapacitated like 4 ppl what the fuck

 **chihiro:** imagine getting ur bones fucking fractured by horse boy mondo. Cringe

 **discount miku:** JSHJSHDJSFHGFEOEOE

 **i get us out of trouble:** So we have five down at this point? 4 with broken limbs and 1 unconscious.

 **Karen:** The one unconscious should simply remain unconscious.

 **juncock emoshima:** i hate class 78. i hate class 78 so much. when i see them i just want to die. i feel my heart beating faster and my eyes watering, and i feel like fire is consuming my entire body. why are they so fucking horrible? i hate them

 **11037:** get out hetero !!

 **juncock emoshima:** look idc what u call me for funsies but if u call me hetero one more time i will make sure u wont remember what ur mother looks like

 **11037:** O

 **Eggroll:** u. ur not hetero????

 **Eggroll:** UR NOT HETERO???? WHAT GHEW HUWAT???

 **ghost hater:** WIAT A FUCKIGN ESEOCNDD

 **discount miku:** HUH?????

 **juncock emoshima:** IM NOT HOLY SHIT IM QUESTIONIGN I JOKE ABT PUSSY ALL THE TIME WHAT DID U THINK THAT WAS

 **i get us into trouble:** NOOOOO WE TOT U WERE TRYING TO FIT IN LIKE????? 

**juncock emoshima:** WHAT DID U FUCKING THINK THE KEYSMASHING WAS FOR????? JSHAJHE???? STRAIGHT PPL DONT KEYSMASH

 **i get us into trouble:** &*@&xse#???%((@@!>MCJe?2-bd

 **i get us into trouble:** WE DONT HAVE A TOKEN STRAIGHTIE ANYMORE

 **no:** what abt that hifumi guy lmao

 **11037:** sssh we dont talk about him

 **juncock emoshima:** anyway

 **juncock emoshima:** clear the fucking search tab

 **juncock emoshima:** el gee bee tee plus enoshima junko fat ass

 **juncock emoshima:** 16 wheel trailer massive cake

 **juncock emoshima:** dumptruck wagon

 **juncock emoshima:** women want me fish fear me

 **11037:** JSKWHEEHJHDJHKS

 **discount miku:** ok but is anyone gonna mention she’s been down since the start of the game or

 **no:** yall do know u can just. heal her character up w some shit when its ur turns right

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** we don’t care.

 **vroom vroom:** same

 **juncock emoshima:** :’(

 **i get us into trouble:** KYOKO COMING FOR JUNKO’S WIG JDJSJBEBE JE THATS SO

 **juncock emoshima:** ayo kirigiri i wanted to take u out on a date u kno but ur so mean 2 me </3

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** no.

 **juncock emoshima:** wow i got turned down TWO TIMES by the same person i hate it here

 **i get us into trouble:** what abt me owo uwu a//w//a

 **i get us into trouble:** hey kyoko i was wondering if u were free friday night bc im free friday night so if ur free friday night let me know bc im also free friday night

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** i have to get out of here. i'm feeling the bone nausea.

 **i get us into trouble:** WHA

 **i get us into trouble:** WHAT THE FUKECMK

 **i get us into trouble:** pls pls stop it kyoko were in a committed relationship stopit haha stop it stopp it 😟

 **discount miku:** rejected again this is so sad

 **chihiro:** despacito.mp4

 **ghost hater:** #update: crying. feeling: upset.

 **Eggroll:** hina about to joke flirt again and kyoko feels it and shes like: hina’s injecting vibe arsenic into the atmosphere i have to go

 **i get us into trouble:** VIBE ARSENICJHWSFJDSHJE

 **chihiro:** kyoko voice maam your vibes are atrocious

 **i get us into trouble:** JSHJHEJHJDHD

 **11037:** celeste in the background waiting to make her move be like: cool beans

 **discount miku:** celes saying cool beans is such a cursed picture leon omg pls refrain from speaking or opening ur mouth now at all times

 **i get us into trouble:** COOL BEANSNJABDSBWE

 **no:** miss morose would know how to translate that into emotionally constipated prick language but i dont so u kno :P

 **discount miku:** emotionally constipated prick language???

 **no:** the way goth gf and guillotine bezos speak what fucking else did u think i mean

 **11037:** we give togami nicknames every few seconds now huh

 **i get us out of trouble:** how about in yours then?

 **no:** im more classy than those two bc mine is simple and straight to the point 😁😁😁

 **no:** WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHGOOOOOHBNNNNnn 

**i get us into trouble:** SUI7*&^#(*&#^*@???

 **it’s been 84 years:** syo

 **it’s been 84 years:** i’m in with love you.

 **no:** AYO <3333333

 **11037:** JHSKWJEKWJEK

 **ghost hater:** SHSJHDJ#&*$&*$&@

 **chihiro:** LESBIANS take note

 **stabbing is an emotion:** almost all girls in this class are dating?

 **chihiro:** almost

 **stabbing is an emotion:** oh.

 **i get us into trouble:** LESBIANS TAKE NOTE!!! U HEARD THEM !!!! 🗣🗣

 **juncock emoshima:** shade so dark i cant see shit 🤨🤨🤨

 **Eggroll:** anyways.

 **Eggroll:** more importantly komaru and i have deliberated on our 100% genius, foolproof and wise strategy to defeat the undead

 **Taka:** I don’t like the sound of that.

 **Eggroll:** you will

 **vroom vroom:** …hey uh naegi quick second what the fuck

 **Celes:** What’s your plan then, Naegi-kun?

 **Eggroll:** komaru les go

 **it's been 84 years:** i roll to cluck at the undead

 **Eggroll:** i also roll to cluck at the undead

 **Taka:** Great game everyone!

 **stabbing is an emotion:** i attract what i fear.

 **stabbing is an emotion:** a normal game ooohhh noooooo soooo scary ahaha

 **discount miku:** MUKUROijiwh*(#*&$&@

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[10:02 PM]**

**no:** After battling through various rooms to get to the descending staircase that leads to the heart of the crypt, you feel the danger making itself known more and more each step into the depths. As you arrive, you come across a lich. It surprises you even more as you realize it’s a necromancer.

 **no:** You reckon this is the source of all your troubles, and the gate it guards is the exit back up. It comes at you first and you believe you must act now before it reaches you. What do you do?

 **Taka:** Defense first, and then we push back later. Defeating this will definitely end the game.

 **Celes:** It will make do. Analysing its weaknesses is great too while defending, no?

 **Taka:** Yes, of course! Efficiency is always welcome in a plan.

 **Eggroll:** ohhh haha nice guys. i think so too!!!!

 **11037:** i roll to seduce the necromancer

 **stabbing is an emotion:** i roll to stab the necromancer.

 **Karen:** i use vicious mockery on the necromancer.

 **Celes:**.

 **Eggroll:** ,

 **Taka:** Ah.

 **juncock emoshima:** LMAO

 **chihiro:** ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

 **Celes:** …if you must?

 **juncock emoshima:** YALL SHOULD KNOW BY KNOW LMAOOOO

 **i get us into trouble:** i was waiting for it omg

 **ghost hater:** yall never let us down w ur wide andromeda brains

 **11037:** dw we always gotchu 😘

 **11037:** clown to clown communication

 **Karen:** Don’t lump me in with the likes of you.

 **11037:** :(

 **ghost hater:** don’t worry bob the sexy builder u r such an icon

 **11037:** thank u king its the menthol illnezz <3

 **Taka:** God, it’s the end. Get a grip of yourselves please!

 **11037:** lemme seduce it taka pls ;) ;) ;)

 **Karen:** No. I have a more efficient method than this idiot.

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** i have another question.

 **i get us out of trouble:** no, kirigiri-san, you can’t throw togami #2 into the depths like the last time you did when we came across a pit. no matter how much he deserves it.

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** alright then.

 **Celes:** A shame, really.

 **discount miku:** LMAPDISOSIUJREKSKSE

 **vroom vroom:** why all the smartasses after each other’s tits lmaoooo

 **i get us out of trouble:** so everyone is fully healed and prepared except for enoshima-san, right?

 **chihiro:** lol

 **juncock emoshima:** guys pls fucking heal me ive been concussed for the entire game omg

 **i get us into trouble:** i giv junko a potion that makes her regain consciousness and then i roll to throw her body at the necromancer

 **juncock emoshima:** ,

 **juncock emoshima:** hina

 **juncock emoshima:** hina.

 **juncock emoshima:** hina

 **juncock emoshima:** hina,

 **i get us into trouble:** no

 **i get us into trouble:** since none of yall r rolling first then i will

 **Eggroll:** NO

 **i get us into trouble:** not listening to u. my misandry shield renders ur opinion as invalid

 **11037:** isnt that chabashira’s thing

 **i get us into trouble:** im borrowing it

 **i get us into trouble:** anyway

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** no.

 **i get us into trouble:** warmer

 **i get us out of trouble:** no.

 **i get us into trouble:** fine i only give her the potion :/

 **Eggroll:** HUH-

 **juncock emoshima:** OH FUCK YEAH FINALLY

 **no:** Krispy Kreme gives Junko the potion and she is able to function normally again.

 **juncock emoshima:** ok ok cool

 **juncock emoshima:** and now for my first and final move in the game

 **juncock emoshima:** i roll to seduce the necromancer

 **Eggroll:** NOOOO

 **chihiro:** FOR FUCK'S SAKE

 **Taka:** Please no.

 **Karen:** Hm.

 **11037:** LETS GO BESTIE

 **juncock emoshima:** LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

 **chihiro:** R U GUYS SURE OMG

 **vroom vroom:** that’s a fucking lich

 **juncock emoshima:** i dont see the problem

 **11037:** yeah yeah

 **vroom vroom:** those are all fucking bones. femurs. whatever fucking bone

 **juncock emoshima:** yeah and????

 **11037:** bro just let us seduce it

 **vroom vroom:** that’s a wholeass undead

 **vroom vroom:** a fucking skeleton???

 **juncock emoshima:** stop stalling dude

 **11037:** yeah dont separate us from our husband

 **Taka:** It’s no use Mondo. Just let them.

 **vroom vroom:** jfc u guys r awful

 **Eggroll:** JHSAJHAGHEGJSKJE

 **i get us into trouble:** HELPPPP

 **it's been 84 years:** syo im scared

 **no:** im not scared but what the fuck guys

 **no:** even im not into that shit

 **juncock emoshima:**!dice roll d20

 **11037:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user juncock emoshima rolled a 19!_

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user 11037 rolled a 20!_

 **ghost hater:** holy shit

 **Eggroll:** HUH

 **discount miku:** hey uh WHAT THE FUCK

 **stabbing is an emotion:** those are disturbingly high rolls.

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** do you two mind rolling again…?

 **juncock emoshima:** lol sure

 **juncock emoshima:**!dice roll d20

 **11037:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user juncock emoshima rolled a 20!_

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user 11037 rolled an 18!_

 **i get us into trouble:** WHAT ITS STILL HIGH I

 **Eggroll:** ,

 **Taka:** ,

 **vroom vroom:** bruh

 **Karen:** This is disturbing.

 **Celes:** Agreeing with you makes me uncomfortable, but yes.

 **stabbing is an emotion:** lol

 **no:** WAIT WAITTTT HOL UP ROLL AGAIN

 **no:** this is like. for dekomaru’s sake now lmaooo

 **it’s been 84 years:** i am. so perturbed. Please

 **it’s been 84 years:** i do not want to see two people seducing a lich

 **vroom vroom:** even if its dnd ??

 **it’s been 84 years:** even if its dnd

 **ghost hater:** maybe this is fate telling us that seducing the lich is the only choice

 **chihiro:** fuck fate my homies hate fate

 **i get us into trouble:** I LOVE FATE MY HOMIES LOVE FATE

 **juncock emoshima:**!dice roll d20

 **11037:**!dice roll d20

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user juncock emoshima rolled a 20!_

 **5E Dice Bot:** _user 11037 rolled a 20!_

 **Eggroll:** NOW ITS BOTH 20 WHAT THE FUCK

 **discount miku:** bleach on my eyes

 **no:** UH

 **chihiro:** NOOOOO NOOOOO WHY WHY WHY WHY

 **i get us into trouble:** SJAKDHSJHJHESKAJDKSJ

 **ghost hater:** IM SORRY BUT THIS IS LIKE. DIVINE PROVIDENCE AT THIS POINT

 **ghost hater:** FATE JUST SAYS IT HAS TO BE THIS WAY

 **Karen:** Fate is a bitch then.

 **ghost hater:** JHSAHDJSHJE/??@@?#

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** if even the ultimate clairvoyant says it so, then maybe it’s ok to just abandon all common sense.

 **no:** what the fuck

 **no:** ,

 **no:** ,,,.,.,.,.,You both managed to successfully seduce the lich?

 **stabbing is an emotion:**.

 **i get us out of trouble:** ah.

 **11037:** FUCK YEAAAAA COME TO PAPA BOB

 **discount miku:** GO GET EM GUYS

 **juncock emoshima:** ugh yes look at those bony curves wowie the amazinf slopes of ur os coxae or hip bones is so delectable and whatever

 **11037:** jhJHSJAHJHEJH3@*(!

 **chihiro:** SHUT THE FUCK UP PLEASE SHUTT HE FUCK UP

 **vroom vroom:** why am i friends w yall

 **11037:** lovin those tibia and fibulas bro!!! smooth and long dayum

 **juncock emoshima:** daddy long legs

 **11037:** ahem ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **juncock emoshima:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **chihiro:** STOPPPPP

 **stabbing is an emotion:** i can kill you both for free

 **discount miku:** HSJHJDHSJEHJDHS

 **11037:** *me softly caressing my skeleton lover’s ribcage* darling ur tits are so massive

 **juncock emoshima:** hgngnnggg.,. bone marromw.,.,w ,.,sexyyy

 **it’s been 84 years:** JHJH|*&#*^&^$@###@

 **chihiro:** *profusely shakes the bars of my jail cell* LET ME OUT OF HEREEEE

 **no:** wait i still have to somehow write an ending right are you FUCKING kidding me

 **no:** im not writing lich porn even miss gloom and doom isnt prepared for that deadass

 **11037:** L

 **11037:** LICH PORNEN23@*(#

 **juncock emoshima:** IT DOESN’T NEED TO BE PORN FNHJDHFJHEJNJNJDS KEEP IT PG 17 DKJKIJEKJNMA

 **chihiro:** junko lemme borrow ur text ok

 **chihiro:** i hate class 78. i hate class 78 so much. when i see them i just want to die. i feel my heart beating faster and my eyes watering, and i feel like fire is consuming my entire body. why are they so fucking horrible? i hate them

**Karen left the group**

**Eggroll:** O

 **discount miku:** JHSJAHDJSHJHELSLER

 **i get us out of trouble:** he did what everyone was afraid of doing.

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** add him back

 **stabbing is an emotion:** ^

**Taka added official.togamibyakuya to the group**

**Taka changed official.togamibyakuya’s nickname to Togami**

**Togami:** Let me leave.

 **vroom vroom:** dude ik this shit sucks but u have to see it to the end yk

 **ghost hater:** fr fr

 **i get us into trouble:** maybe we shouldn’t have played if we’re gonna find out what leon and junko’s secret kinks are ykno

 **juncock emoshima:** KINK???? LOOK I MAY BE STUPID BUT SJHFDJSHFJW???#?$ HINA ILL SLAP U????S,WLRKL&@*#

 **11037:** ITS FOR FUN NOT KINKS OK WHAT THE FUCK

 **vroom vroom:** it might lead into one if ur not careful bro

 **11037:** mondo what

 **11037:** MONDO WHAT

 **no:** guys stfu lemme think of something

 **no:** ur all demanding too much from lil ol me over here

 **it’s been 84 years:** go syo!!!!

 **no:** i don’t need my own gf cheering me on while i attempt write freeform for something so fucking awful but thanks

 **no:** like. all of what im texting was smthn miss morose already knew was gonna happen and prepared for but not whatever this is jfc

 **Eggroll:** JKWEKWRJEKJOWIR

 **ghost hater:** toko-chi when u read this just know ur patience is unthinkable and we r so sorry djjhjdhfjdhfje

* * *

**Class Seventygay**

**[10:24 PM]**

**no:** i spent like 20 minutes on this fuck yall

 **Taka:** Fair.

 **no:** uh

 **no:** after defeating the lich and saving the city above from the plague with your… unconventional methods, you all decide to part ways. but one day you receive an invitation

 **no:** BRO I CANT WRITE THIS IS MS MOROSE'S SCHTICK THIS IS EMBARRASSING

 **it’s been 84 years:** no no!!! its ok keep going!!!! whats the invitation for???

 **no:** ………r u sure u guys want this

 **vroom vroom:** the fact that even ur asking us that tells me we wouldnt like it

 **Taka:** You know what. Just. just give it to us.

 **juncock emoshima:** WHATS THE INVITATION FOR

 **11037:** omg if its our wedding im gonna start crying ✌️✌️✌️😭😭😭😭😭

 **juncock emoshima:** omg 😭😭😭😭😭

 **no:** no dickwad

 **no:** its for both of ur fucking funeral

 **kiwikrispy kokonut:** ,

 **discount miku:**.

 **vroom vroom:**.

 **ghost hater:** w

 **ghost hater:** what

 **i get us into trouble:** HAHAHAHAHHAHA

 **it’s been 84 years:** JSHDJSHEJJDN*@(&##

 **discount miku:** FUNERWAL??@*#(&*&$

 **no:** the lich decided to betray them after coming to its senses and sucked their life energies or shit y kno 💔💔

 **Eggroll:** JHSJHDJSHJHEJDKJNEJ

 **juncock emoshima:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **11037:** FFUCK F

 **11037:** why. who was it. was it my fault

 **juncock emoshima:** it wasnt them leon,.,.,.,., it was us.,.,.,., we made them leave. we werent so accomodating for them 💔

 **11037:** god i cant believe it ended this way. i feel like shit 💔

 **i get us out of trouble:** aren't you two the people who died?

 **Eggroll:** WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ONNNN ujhwh*&#*^@&^*@!

 **it's been 84 years:** I AM SO CONFUSEDDD

 **chihiro:** oh thank god

 **chihiro:** if it was a wedding i wouldve. i wouldve

 **Celes:** It’s okay, take your time.

 **chihiro:** i.

 **chihiro:** i

 **i get us out of trouble:** …so do we pay our respects or something?

 **ghost hater:** from one comrade to another

 **ghost hater:** rip bob the sexy builder ur buttcheeks were so fat and we respected u ugh

 **discount miku:** </3

 **Eggroll:** </3

 **it's been 84 years:** uhm

 **it’s been 84 years:** </3

 **no:** lol

 **i get us into trouble:** wait can i have one last turn

 **i get us into trouble:** please

 **i get us into trouble:** this is important to end the game ykno ✋😳

 **no:** bro what

 **Taka:**?

 **Taka:** Please don’t be anything stupid.

 **i get us into trouble:** oh dont worry

 **i get us into trouble:** i roll to throw togami #2 at the coffins

 **Eggroll:** oh

 **Togami:** ,

 **Taka:** God damn it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> free chihiro twentee twentee
> 
> i hope the chap was funny lol this isnt my best ✌️😔


	15. alligator emoji ‘flat fuck friday’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **hajimeme changed the group name to feet pic extravaganza**  
>    
> **minion gijinka:** do u take constructive criticism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if ur sense of humor is deteriorating bc of this fic then im not sorry i dont take any responsibility
> 
> also hiiiii long time no see again 😁😁 ill try updating more frequently now thats its december but hmmhmhmhm

**peko's bitches**

**[7:15 AM]**

**komaeda <3: **if, hypothetically, a bunch of first years were to scream and throw flashlights at you in the middle of the night, what would you do?

 **Tsumikan:** cry

 **ryotAH:** piss

 **teru fried chicken:** cum

 **mama-hiru:** hanamura we talked about this

 **teru fried chicken:** lmao sorry i saw the chance and couldnt help it-

 **komaeda <3: **those are all equally despairing answers, thank you

 **token white girl:** um

 **token white girl:** Just apologize to them when you get the chance?

 **komaeda <3: **oh i thought so!! i guess that is the only way to go :D

 **hajimeme:** thank fuck sonia

 **hajimeme:** i was waiting for someone sane to answer with something normal and totally doable in real life

 **gamer girl gf:** lol

 **gamer girl gf:** @komaeda <3 also why do i have the feeling what ur asking about isnt just ‘hypothetical’

 **hajimeme:** we were at one of the unused buildings earlier

 **hajimeme:** its rlly nice and quiet there at daytime but nagito decided to fuck around and invited me to go w him at like. 1 am idk

 **gamer girl gf:** bruh

 **boss baby timeskip:** yo tf

 **Tsumikan:** isnt it really scary there?? ><

 **hajimeme:** oh it is

 **hajimeme:** i left to get the both of us some food from the kitchen but when i came back nagito was holding a bunch of broken flashlights

 **hajimeme:** he went to the rundown theatre and like. that place has no lights so its really dark and apparently some first years saw him chilling in there and they thought he was a ghost

 **minion gijinka:** LMAO HOW???

 **komaeda <3: **oh haha my pajamas were almost all white?? i guess thats why they probably thought i was one

 **ryotAH:** imagine thinking u saw a ghost but then u look harder and its komaeda

 **minion gijinka:** both of them r equally terrifying

 **boss baby timeskip:** jfc saionji go chill ur jets

 **teru fried chicken:** lol

 **shark week:** ok but getting mistaken as a ghost is a big life achievement

 **totally not a furry:** According to whom?

 **shark week:** ME

 **shark week:** i want to get mistaken as a ghost

 **shark week:** that would be kinda sick

 **boss baby timeskip:** u r more likely to get mistaken as one of those worn down pink markers in the bottom drawer at the corner of the classroom that rarely gets cleaned than a ghost but ok

 **shark week:** u r literally dating this pink marker in the bottom drawer at the corner of the classroom that rarely gets cleaned but go off

 **boss baby timeskip:** ,

 **minion gijinka:** get his ass

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** He’s got you there.

 **boss baby timeskip:** stop this libel u hoes rlly aint loyal

 **ryotAH:** sorry king

 **teru fried chicken:** does anyone else here know how to cook other than me n koizumi

 **teru fried chicken:** u guys might have noticed im not preparing breakfast and thats bc im sick :/

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** Oh.

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** We already had this situation before and the class already knows to just eat outside in case you aren’t able to prepare for us. Why are you asking?

 **teru fried chicken:** uh

 **mama-hiru:** half of the kitchen is on fire

 **hajimeme:** HUH?????

 **teru fried chicken:** yeah. that

 **teru fried chicken:** neways peace out

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** MF U LEAVING US?????

 **totally not a furry:** gossip girl bye girl

 **minion gijinka:** LMAOJSH(&*@*&#@2E

 **ryotAH:** NOT GUNDHAM KNOWING TWITTER MEMES PLEASE

 **shark week:** do u guys think hes on stan twt

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** GUNDHAM....... ON STAN TWT.......

 **ryotAH:** PLEASEJy*@^*#@@$

 **minion gijinka:** TANAKA ON STAN TWT I CAN FEEL MY BONES RATTLING AND COMING APART PLEASE PLEASE*(@*&*(&#*!

 **boss baby timeskip:** gundham on destiel stan twt w an analysis and call out thread 

**shark week:** SHUT THE FUCK UP ABT DESTIEL SHUT THE FUCK UP

 **minion gijinka:** how do u both even know that eye-

 **ryotAH:** ok but kuzuryu b/w u and kazuichi who goes to super hell and who gets the tetanus

 **minion gijinka:** soda gets the tetanus bc hes stupid enough to get that

 **shark week:** bitch ass

 **boss baby timeskip:** no shes right

 **shark week:** literally the ultimate mechanic here luv

 **boss baby timeskip:** shes still right

 **shark week:** relationship ended w oomf im going to spin him around like a ceiling fan and then throw him into super hell myself

 **hajimeme:** idk what this destiel language yall r speaking but i dont want it

 **ryotAH:** good decision. u don’t <3

 **mama-hiru:** EVERYONE SHUT UP LITERALLY AN ENTIRE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE

 **mama-hiru:** anyway idk which of u guys did it but somebody left a bowl full of brownie mix in the oven for too long and now its on fire

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** wasnt me

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** yall r aware i know my way around the kitchen lol

 **mama-hiru:** dw queen theres no way we’re assuming its u

 **Tsumikan:** umm ill go down in a few minutes to check if anyone’s hurt ;;

 **COACH!:** I’LL GET THE EXTINGUISHERS!

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** OHHH ibuki is near them!! she will help!! :D

 **shark week:** bro is everyone down there ok???

 **minion gijinka:** no they r all burning alive to a golden brown crisp thats why mahiru is casually texting the group chat instead of running w nidai and mioda to get the fire extinguishers yk

 **shark week:** very helpful hiyoko. god bless you

 **minion gijinka:** ikr im the best ❤️️

 **hajimeme:** is no one going to ask why someone decided to put a bowl of brownie mix in the oven

 **hajimeme:** like.

 **hajimeme:** a bowl

 **hajimeme:** the damn bowl

 **hajimeme:** idk how to bake but i watched enough youtube videos to know that you have to put the mix in a tray before u put them in the oven right???? im???

 **shark week:** wait so u don’t put them in a converse

 **hajimeme:** HUH?????

 **ryotAH:** lol i tot u put them on a plate

 **hajimeme:** WHAT

 **komaeda <3: **oh no? on a tray and not a shoebox?

 **shark week:** the shoebox is unsanitary

 **ryotAH:** ur idea was putting the brownie mix in the actual shoe u have no room to argue

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** I question the sanity of this class every day.

 **hajimeme:** THE MORE YOU ALL TALK THE MORE IM CONVINCED NONE OF U HAVE ANY BASIC LIFE SKILLS

 **stabs me daddy:** ibuki tried it once. did it all nicely up until the tray part, then she set the oven to 450 degrees.

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** and??? ibuki likes maximum efficiency ya kno

 **hajimeme:** YOU ARE ALL LITERALLY HOMICIDAL.

 **COACH!:** OH???? BUT HINATA-KUN, ISN’T THE TERM YOU ARE LOOKING FOR ‘SUICIDAL’?

 **hajimeme:** no bc yall r going to get each other killed

 **boss baby timeskip:** fair

 **hajimeme:** that includes u most of all nagito

 **komaeda <3: **lol

 **mama-hiru:** visible concern

 **gamer girl gf:** we are all CEO of bad decisions that have the likelihood of killing the entire class at around 70-90%

 **gamer girl gf:** sonia and i were the ones who put the brownie mix bowl btw

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** WH

 **boss baby timeskip:** what the fuck were you both doing

 **gamer girl gf:** uh

 **token white girl:** Brownies! Obviously :^)

 **token white girl:** Ah, it just didn’t turn out well

 **hajimeme:** i knew it was strange u and chiaki suddenly stopped texting lol

 **gamer girl gf:** well obviously i have not a single bone who knows how to cook nor bake in this entire body

 **gamer girl gf:** i am just a lil lesbian who likes to say poggers sometimes

 **shark week:** ok what if sonia starts saying poggers instead

 **ryotAH:** soggers,,,,,

 **shark week:** S

 **shark week:** SOGGERS

 **mama-hiru:** PLEASE THAT SOUNDS SO FUCKING AWFUL

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** sogchamp

 **minion gijinka:** OWARIJDXHSJH(*(&$@@!

 **ryotAH:** SOGCHAMP

 **ryotAH:** THIS SHOULDNT BE SO FUNNY PLEALSE09*()#*()_!

 **stab me daddy:** soggers and sogchamp sounds like something i’d call my boobs.

 **minion gijinka:** HUH????

 **boss baby timeskip:** PEKO????

 **ryotAH:** AY LMFAO

 **shark week:** EVERYTIME PEKOYAMA TEXTS HERE SHES ALWAYS OUT OF POCKET

 **stab me daddy:** soggers

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** pekopeko i want to kiss u on da lips

 **stab me daddy:** ah. you can if you’d like.

 **gamer girl gf:** PEKO SAID SOGGERS LESBIANS WE WON

 **mama-hiru:** thats so coole.,.,.,.,.

 **shark week:** what lesbianism does to a mf

 **minion gijinka:** U RIGHT U RIGHT

 **gamer girl gf:** wait hol on

 **gamer girl gf:** i wanna change sonia’s nickname here to soggers but token white girl is too good pls

 **mama-hiru:** dont change it soggers looks visually horrible

 **shark week:** but???? the meme???? :(

 **totally not a furry:** I swear you are all a different breed.

 **shark week:** u wuv us

 **ryotAH:** sorri tanaka we kno u wuv us

 **totally not a furry:** Unfortunately.

 **mama-hiru:** AW

 **hajimeme:** can i say soggers

 **hajimeme:** my soggers is made for the perfect cuddling spot

 **boss baby timeskip:** nice

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** nice

 **shark week:** nice

 **minion gijinka:** nice

 **ryotAH:** nice

 **gamer girl gf:** nice

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** nice

 **gamer girl gf:** soggers in my mouth

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** which soggers

 **gamer girl gf:** yours

 **gamer girl gf:** <3

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** no homo

 **gamer girl gf:** fuck

 **shark week:** IM ILL()&*@(*@)(!#|+_

 **gamer girl gf:** akane stop saying no homo to me :(

 **ryotAH:** horninez is a diseas

 **boss baby timeskip:** i HATE this class

 **shark week:** WAIT GUYS HIYOKO’S TYPING SHES ABOUT TO SAY A BANGER

 **mama-hiru:** hiyoko pls don’t say what I think ur about to say

 **minion gijinka:** look *points at my boobs* these r my little sogchamps

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** LITTLE. SOGCHAMPS

 **boss baby timeskip:** I CANT STAND YALL.,.,.,.,

 **boss baby timeskip:** especially u saionji everytime i see u here or in person i feel like punching the wall

 **minion gijinka:** i aspire to be insufferable thank u ❤️️

 **boss baby timeskip:** fuck you

 **minion gijinka:** no i fucked your mom

 **komaeda <3: **thats ouma-kun’s joke

 **minion gijinka:** he stole it from me the little bitch

 **boss baby timeskip:** if u fucked my mom does that mean u found her

 **Tsumikan:** i

 **ryotAH:** HUH-

 **minion gijinka:** oh yea oh yea she had the time of her life that woman

 **boss baby timeskip:** oh???? she did???? the fuck she said to u???

 **minion gijinka:** u were the cumshot she shouldve swallowed

 **boss baby timeskip:**.

 **hajimeme:** UM????

 **shark week:** HIYOKO WOKE UP AND CHOSE VIOLENCE 😭

 **ryotAH:** u@&#*&jhud8HDJSHFJDF

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** THAT’S TOEING THE LINE SAIONJI UIEJEJHJ HELPDJF9844&@*&#

 **gamer girl gf:** @mama-hiru reel her in shes literally out of control

 **mama-hiru:** naw i love her im letting her go off

 **gamer girl gf:** damn :/

 **ryotAH:** tfw u have a supportive s/o and r in a happy and healthy relationship

 **minion gijinka:** get fucked cuks

 **mama-hiru:** @ryotAH u don’t have an s/o

 **ryotAH:** and??? im keeping up w u mfs

 **komaeda <3: **cringe

 **hajimeme:** nagito what

 **komaeda <3: **relationship cringe

 **hajimeme:** ur litrally dating me

 **komaeda <3: **yes and? you don’t know basic math :) you are cringe

 **hajimeme:** THAT WAS ONE TIME????

 **komaeda <3: **my cringe fail boyfriend

 **hajimeme:** H

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** AY HE MUTILATED U LMFAOOOO

 **boss baby timeskip:** get dat plain ass

 **gamer girl gf:** imagine being gay

 **hajimeme:** i hate it here

 **Tsumikan:** it’s morning…?

 **hajimeme:** i still hate it here

 **teru fried chicken:** so yall just going to ignore the kitchen going on fire or something

* * *

**peko's bitches**

**[3:09 PM]**

**gamer girl gf:** HELPDSJFKSDJFKJF

 **gamer girl gf:** YALL STOP FUCKING RATIOING ME I HATE U GUYS

 **totally not a furry:** What’s happening?

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** yeah ????

 **teru fried chicken:** LMAO WHATS UP

 **ryotAH:** oh dw its nothing worrying

 **hajimeme:** chiaki got a new phone and she was testing out the some emojis by posting her rating them on her twitter account and everyone else swarmed to it like flies

 **minion gijinka:** she called the rock emoji a fat fuck and then said the two feet emoji looks like butterfingers

 **minion gijinka:** how can u expect me to not roast her ass

 **teru fried chicken:** not the rock emoji

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** NAHHHH THE BUTTERFINGERS HELPSIDFSJFK

 **shark week:** PLS CHIAKI U POST LIKE UR ON HIGH WHAT WILL THE JUNIORS THINK OF US

 **mama-hiru:** our reputation is in shambles anyway

 **shark week:** oh. right

 **ryotAH:** thats kind of sad lol

 **boss baby timeskip:** thats not even the worst one

 **hajimeme:** LMAO FR

 **hajimeme:** idk what happened but now she publicly tagged the fucking principal asking when will hpa serve mac and cheese at lunch again

 **gamer girl gf:** IT WAS A FUCKING JOKE U GUYS JUST SJFHJDSFHJKEKD

 **komaeda <3: **quote on quote she said ‘mac n cheese on lunch if nobody got me i kno @kirigirijin got me’

 **gamer girl gf:** nagito i hate u

 **teru fried chicken:** LMFAO

 **ryotAH:** CHIAKI UR BDE 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

 **gamer girl gf:** *rattles cage* I WANT OUTTTTT

 **Tsumikan:** umm,,, what does bde mean,,???

 **gamer girl gf:** BCoochie DCoochie ECoochie

 **ryotAH:** u didnt even try

 **gamer girl gf:** i dont try at all <3

 **Tsumikan:** ummm very helpful i guess??

 **gamer girl gf:** nah ill dm u the meaning dw i gotchu

 **minion gijinka:** ok but back to chiaki's mess of a twitter 

**minion gijinka:** i think everyone hyped her up in the replies. even the first years r in there

 **mama-hiru:** i mean

 **mama-hiru:** it’s mac and cheese

 **teru fried chicken:** it has to meet my standards first b4 its close to any of ur plates

 **ryotAH:** ofc king !!

 **shark week:** THEY R ALL SO FUNNY I COPIED SOME OF THEM

 **shark week:** “@naeggimakoko: chiaki-senpai i think it was so sexy of u to completely fund my transition what would i do without you any man would be lucky to talk to user nanamistreams and get the mac n cheese for da 12 at pm tomorrow”

 **minion gijinka:** KJSAKHDJSHJEJDJKE

 **teru fried chicken:** WHEN THE SECOND YEARS GOT UR BACK !! SO TRUE SO TRUE 

**ryotAH:** PLEASE THERES THESE LDSKF@*(#(&#

 **ryotAH:** “@amamitaro: hey nanami-senpai thanks for letting me and my 12 sisters use your summer vacation house after your charity campaign. mac n cheese is barely a reward to repay ur kindness”

 **ryotAH:** “@gorgeousgirlgenius: hey senpai thanks again for visiting one of the childrens hospitals the other day i think the kids loved seeing ur ferrari"

 **boss baby timeskip:** NOT IRUMA AND THE FERRARI HAHAAHGDSHAG*@&^&##

 **teru fried chicken:** SUMMER. VACATION HOUSE 😭😭😭😭

 **gamer girl gf:** THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING I THINK EVEN THE STAFF’S SEEN IT I HATE YOU GUYS

 **hajimeme:** imagine being the fucking principal and u got tagged by someone asking for mac n cheese and the entire student body is hyping them up in the replies

 **mama-hiru:** WAIT U GUYS LEFT THE BEST ONES OUT

 **mama-hiru:** “@saionjihiyok0: oh em gee chiaki!! thanks for letting me borrow your lamborghini (the blue one, not the red one) the other day. ofc i promised to drive it back to your third mansion, i hope ur ok with that <3”

 **hajimeme:** …LAMBORGHINI

 **teru fried chicken:** IM HOLLERING*&@*@*&@

**gordon ramsay content enjoyer: 💀💀💀💀**

***breathes in* *screams*:** THIRD MANSION DJHSEK*(!)(8*

 **minion gijinka:** NOOO NOT MINE JHSDJHSJHJEO9)@*(*#

 **shark week:** kirigiri jin better be seeing these or else 😤

 **ryotAH:** all of these for mac n cheese

 **mama-hiru:** “@kuwata20: hey nanami-senpai thx for letting me borrow 25000 yen the other day i really appreciate it ur cool as hell mac n cheese is such a nice payback”

 **mama-hiru:** “@officialEnoshimaJunko **:** have u guys tried going to her personal resort??? there no entrance fee and theres fourteen pools and there was a wave one and some jacuzzis too. its lovely. i think it was lovely”

 **mama-hiru:** “@mOowada: hey senpai thanks for bailing out one of my homies w ur shit ton of money and influence and power he was innocent as hell ur cool and shit and pretty rad”

 **shark week:** JHSWAYE(*&&@*(#&(*$&!!@?$?

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** ADHJ3E958-#_+)(#_+($_

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** THE BAIL ONE HELP

 **boss baby timeskip:** IM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND

 **teru fried chicken:** enoshima and the ‘fourteen pools’ is sending me

 **minion gijinka:** 25000 yen…………

 **token white girl:** @gamer girl gf Dear you’re famous <3

 **gamer girl gf:** yeah but at what cost

 **gamer girl gf:** now the faculty’s seen my tweets calling the alligator emoji ‘flat fuck friday’

 **gamer girl gf:** or that pic where i edited the principal’s face and made him bald

 **hajimeme:** w

 **hajimeme:** what

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** HUH?????

 **mama-hiru:** U EDITED WHAT NOW

 **shark week:** CHIAKI PLEASE LWOREJR3 JIe

 **gamer girl gf:** ITS MY PROFILE PICTURE OKWNRNENR I DIDN’T THINK ANYONE FROM THE STAFF WAS GONNA SCROLL THROUGH MY ACCOUNT

 **hajimeme:** AND YOU CALL URSELF CLASS REP GIRL I

 **mama-hiru:** imagine electing chiaki as class rep

 **gamer girl gf:** couldnt be me

 **hajimeme:** what,

 **gamer girl gf:** WAIT FUCK

 **komaeda <3: **????

 **teru fried chicken:** WHATSUP WHASUUP

 **gamer girl gf:** MUNAKATA-SENSEI IS DMING ME TO CHCHANGE MY TWITETR PFP OR ELSE ILL GET PROBATION HELPPP PEJKSFHJKEE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMOER

 **hajimeme:** i

 **mama-hiru:** PROBATION JKH&*@*&*&#

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** THE BALD KIRIGIRI HATE HERE IS SO BIG WTF :’(

 **minion gijinka:** I SWEAR IM GOING INSANE 💖

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** its bc u took away his wig now the faculty is hot on ur ass :/

 **ryotAH:** t

 **ryotAH:** TOOK AWAY HIS WIG

 **shark week:** WIG

 **mama-hiru:** MIODA NOOO

 **stab me daddy:** i mean with how people are here, it’s no surprise his hair is receding faster than his lifeline.

 **hajimeme:** H

 **minion gijinka:** GIRLLLL

 **boss baby timeskip:** SHJJA*&@*&@)!@##???!

 **shark week:** OUTTA POCKET

 ***breaths in* *screams*:** PEKO YOU NEVER MISS

 **teru fried chicken:** PLEASE DJHFGDHDHKE

 **komaeda <3: **chiaki the hairline shaver

 **minion gijinka:** HAIRLINE SHAVER.

 **mama-hiru:** i swear we r so getting detention for this 😭

 **mama-hiru:** who talks abt their principal’s receding hairline

 **mama-hiru:** wait shit

 **gamer girl gf:** SEE EVEN U THINK SO TOO DHSJHDFJS

 **ryotAH:** KJSFHJDHFJE

 **shark week:** AHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **hajimeme:** see this is what brain damage does to mfs

 **komaeda <3: **yours is obviously the most damaged in here

 **hajimeme:** a

 **minion gijinka:** WEW

 **shark week:** LMAOOOO

 ***breathes* *screams*:** damn komaeda ur mean today :P

 **ryotAH:** litcherally modness luv xoxo

 **mama-hiru:** mitarai what the fuck did i just read

 **gamer girl gf:** br*tish

 **boss baby timeskip:** why is it censored

 **shark week:** ohhhh thats a disease right???

 **shark week:** i hope they get better soon <3

 **minion gijinka:** HDSJHGSDHGFJDHJFE

 **ryotAH:** DISEASE EDFHJDH*^&@^&#

 **teru fried chicken:** being in this gc is like getting hit first w a bat as a precaution, and then two other bats as a pre-warning, and then a million dudes descend on u to beat u up as the actual warning

 **hajimeme:** lol

 **gamer girl gf:** THE PRINCIPAL REPLIED TO MY TWEET JSKSDFKJ38@(8(*#

 **gamer girl gf:** no mac n cheese for us

 **shark week:** AW

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** aw man :/

 **minion gijinka:** mf hes so boring i hate him and his receding hairline

 **ryotAH:** RECEDING HAIRLINE

 **hajimeme:** CAN WE STOP TALKING ABT THE PRINCIPAL’S RECEDING HAIRLINE STOP IT PLEASE

 **teru fried chicken:** wait

 **teru fried chicken:** imagine. imagine

 **hajimeme:** teruteru i stg

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** I don’t like where this is going.

 **komaeda <3: **you don’t like where anything we say here is going

 **shark week:** OOP

 **teru fried chicken:** ok listen

 **teru fried chicken:** u r about to go in for hair surgery, and

 **teru fried chicken:** anf

 **minion gijinka:** U GOT ME HOOKED AT HAIR SURGERY ………

 **teru fried chicken:** and. and kirigiri jin is. w u. yuo are right next to him.

 **teru fried chicken:** he tells yuo everythinf will be alright and. and he watches u while u get pushed into the operation roomm

 **mama-hiru:** wait no stop

 **teru fried chicken:** anf tthen

 **teru fried chicken:** and thwn,

 **totally not a furry:** cease.

 **teru fried chicken:** when u wake up after the operation he’s gone

 **boss baby timeskip:** stop right there

 **teru fried chicken:** yyou

 **hajimeme:** uh huh

 **teru fried chicken:** you aks,

 **teru fried chicken:** you ask*

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** UR DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

 **teru fried chicken:** u ask the doctor,

 **teru fried chicken:** where on earth is kirigiri jin,

 **gamer girl gf:** is that a fucking carmen sandiego reference

 **teru fried chicken:** and then he says

 **teru fried chicken:** AND THEN HE SAYSSS

 **Tsumikan:** please no

 **teru fried chicken:** who

 **mama-hiru:** TERUTERU.

 **teru fried chicken:** WHO

 **shark week:** oh god here it comes

 **teru fried chicken:** WHO DID YOU THINK GAVE U THE HAIR?

 **boss baby timeskip:** i cant fucking stand it here

 **minion gijinka:** he was ur wig donor that’s why he has a receding hairline

 **gamer girl gf:** *bald

 **mama-hiru:** chiaki shut

 **ryotAH:** WIG DONOR

 **minion gijinka:** this is so sad

 **stab me daddy:** press f for the headmaster’s wig. it’s gone.

 **shark week:** gone like his hairline

 **hajimeme:** STOP

 **Tsumikan:** f!!

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** completely unrelated but mikan-chan u r adorable!!!

 **Tsumikan:** oh um o//o thaank yyou,,,

 **komaeda <3: **hanamura-kun that was so hopeful! a beautiful display truly ^^

 **hajimeme:** i cant tell if thats sarcasm or honesty and thats what makes it more terrifying

 **teru fried chicken:** thats bc ur iq is below -5

 **mama-hiru:** lol

 **hajimeme:** THE OCTAGON THING WAS ONE FUCKING TIME.

 **minion gijinka:** below -5

 **hajimeme:** yall r just fake friends

 **minion gijinka:** u aint my friend periodt

 **shark week:** hiyoko rlly said anyone else other than koizumi is on sight today huh

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** lmao

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** @gamer girl gf also i just went out of a jog which was why i stopped replying

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** read the backlog and fr???? no mac n cheese????

 **gamer girl gf:** yeah bro :(

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** fuck bro :(

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** chiaki i trusted u to be reliable

 **gamer girl gf:** do not trust people like me.

i will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth.

i will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. and when i leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.

 **minion gijinka:** i-

 **hajimeme:** how long was that in ur drafts and how long have u been waiting for it to be used

 **gamer girl gf:** hajime

 **gamer girl gf:** shut the fuck up

 **hajimeme:** bitch

* * *

**peko's bitches**

**[10:45 PM]**

**hajimeme changed the group name to feet pic extravaganza**

**minion gijinka:** do u take constructive criticism

 **hajimeme:** i dont take criticism from you period

 **gamer girl gf:** i have many questions

 **hajimeme:** shoot

 **gamer girl gf:** one, why change the group name

 **gamer girl gf:** two, i need context for the new group name

 **gamer girl gf:** three, what the fuck

 **hajimeme:** i wont answer two and three sorry

 **gamer girl gf:** …why

 **shark week:** wat r u hiding hajime

 **hajimeme:** anyways

 **shark week:** WAT R U HIDING HAJIME.

 **hajimeme:** i have made an important decision

 **hajimeme:** hence, the new group name

 **hajimeme:** i am done being peko’s bitch

 **hajimeme:** i am a man of my own will

 ***breathes in* *screams*:** aw but ibuki liked being peko’s bitch :/

 **stab me daddy:** ibuki,

 **ryotAH:** horninez is a DISEAS

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** no one complained being peko’s bitch and honestly i think its beautiful

 **mama-hiru:** the girlkissers this month…… unthinkable

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** its a lifestyl <3

**gamer girl gf changed *breathes in* *screams*’s nickname to thirsty bitch disease**

**thirsty bitch disease:** you know what,

 **gamer girl gf:** dont change it

 **thirsty bitch disease:** no ibuki's agreeing <3

 **gamer girl gf:** does that mean i get to kiss peko on da mouth too

 **hajimeme:** HUH

 **teru fried chicken:** eye-

 **thirsty bitch disease:** peko may have two hands but theyre both holding me

 **gamer girl gf:** sad

 **minion gijinka:** chiaki rlly said im boutta test the patience of this entire class

 **ryotAH:** @thirsty bitch disease gay

 **thirsty bitch disease:** no u

 **ryotAH:** no u

 **thirsty bitch disease:** why ofc

 **thirsty bitch disease:** call me old fashioned but i was raised to serve my wife. i clean the dishes and cook her food. i do whatever she says bc she is my wife and she makes the rules ar

 **hajimeme:** the fact that u took so long replying meaning u have it memorized and typed all of it manually is concerning

 **thirsty bitch disease:** damn ibuki got cut off :/

 **gamer girl gf:** no its ok its still iconic

 **thirsty bitch disease:** chiaki-chan says that as if she doesn’t have any copypastas memorized for sonia and akane

 **gamer girl gf:** fuck off

 **thirsty bitch disease:** ;)

 **gamer girl gf:** i feel unnerved by that wink

 **thirsty bitch disease:** ;)

 **shark week:** we can never be civilized for one minute

 **shark week:** and i think thats beautifule

 **boss baby timeskip:** i think its fucking horrible

 **shark week:** not everyone can be like u 💔

 **teru fried chicken:** we r all monke brain

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** @gamer girl gf hey r those copypastas all no homo

 **gamer girl gf:** yeah,.,.,., for u

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** 💘💘💘💘

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** no homo btw

 **gamer girl gf:** i hate it here

 **token white girl:** Oh? But what do you have for me? :D

 **gamer girl gf:** observe

 **hajimeme:** oh nooo she’s typing

 **komaeda <3: **!!!!

 **Tsumikan:** im scared

 **ryotAH:** valid

 **teru fried chicken:** CHIAKI LES GOOOOO

 **shark week:** LESS GOOOOOO

 **hajimeme:** if u type something inappropriate im dropping out

 **stab me daddy:** this entire class is inappropriate.

 **shark week:** SHE NEVER MISS

 **gamer girl gf:** what the fuck man. i'm literally sitting here on the verge of tears. slaving away in this cutthroat industry saving up for our grand anniversary. i was this close. maybe i should have done that overtime, if i could get my princess that money earlier i might have been able to convince her in the dono message. she needs a gamer girl that can treat her right, a gamer girl like me. i would open the car door for her every time, i would pull out her chair at a restaurant, i would lay my catgirl hoodie over puddles to protect her from the filth.

 **thirsty bitch disease:** MF THAT’S BEAUTIFUL 😢😢😢😢😢

 **hajimeme:** there are actually so many things wrong here,

 **minion gijinka:** NOT THE CATGIRL HOODIE JSHDJSHFJHE 😭😭😭

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** If I have to open this group just to see a wall of text of Nanami typing simp twitch copypasta one more time, I will leave.

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** damn don’t come for her

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** chiaki rlly is just vibing 

**boss baby timeskip:** ok but fr

 **shark week:** no thoughts no brain wrinkles only vibe

 **gamer girl gf:** 😌

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hajime and chiaki in a normal/nondespair setting bark aggresively at each other like chihuahuas and honestly thats the best friendship ever,,,, look at them mfs go


	16. when will i wake up from this twisted cylcel of a nightmaer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **ryotAH:** i am very tired, gay, and i have no money. so you can imagine the kind of stress im under
> 
>  **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** i think my brain is forming a new fucking synapse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sees my last update* so. yeah anyway

**feet pic extravaganza**

**[10:09 AM]**

**shark week:** today i cried watching a video of a cat moving around on a wheeled litter box while he was shitting in it for seven minutes

 **gamer girl gf:** …what

 **hajimeme:** r u ok

 **shark week:** no obviously not who tf do u think i am 😁

 **hajimeme:** im convinced im in a simulation with u clowns and i'll wake up in a mentally more stable state than i am rn

 **shark week:** do u. do u wanna watch it

 **hajimeme:** no??? i didnt say anything and i dont want it

 **gamer girl gf:** i do

 **hajimeme:** chiaki stfu

 **thirsty bitch disease:** i mean from what soda-chan said it sounds kinda funny ibuki wants to see 2

 **shark week:** cat in the litter box. what will he do

 **gamer girl gf:** what will he do

 **hajimeme:** when will i wake up from this twisted cylcel of a nightmaer

 **boss baby timeskip:** u spelled wrong

 **shark week:** crimecommittingfelinefellow.mp4

 **hajimeme:** ,

 **hajimeme:** i

 **thirsty bitch disease:** dont lie ur way out of this hajime-chan i saw u laugh

 **hajimeme:** u fucking SNITCH

 **shark week:** get fucked antenna cowlick lookin ass

 **gamer girl gf:** wait omg

**gamer gf changed hajimeme’s nickname antenna cowlick lookin ass**

**gamer girl gf:** kazuichi how does it feel to carry that massive brain all the time is it heavy

 **shark week:** its great exercise for my buttcheeks actually ;) fuyu can attest to it

 **boss baby timeskip:** i attest to nothing

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** this sunday is already bad and im not even out of the bed

 **thirsty bitch disease:** ooooohhh is komaeda-chan keeping u there :D

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** you. shut the fuck up.

 **gamer girl gf:** ibuki got scorned for saying the truth

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** one more word from you and ill destoyr you

 **gamer girl gf:** destoyr

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** destyor

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** DESYRTOY

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** DESTROY. HOLY FUCK

 **ryotAH:** bb ur language comprehension grades looking a bit bleak there :’(

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** shut ur ass up

 **boss baby timeskip:** nice to see ur brain catch up dude. u missed ten years worth of information

 **shark week:** don’t come for him he’s trying his best with his 5 iq :( right hajime my bro??

 **gamer girl gf:** destoyr

 **thirsty bitch disease:** desktop

 **gamer girl gf:** door

 **shark week:** LMAOSKJKDE

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** how many years will i land in prison if i commit serial murder

 **boss baby timeskip:** someone here just starts being the slightest bit annoying and hajime’s already up to throw hands

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** u know what.

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** @gamer girl gf u n me. just dance in three hours. lobby.

 **gamer girl gf:** ur tits would weigh u down and i'd win lol loser

 **ryotAH:** i

 **shark week:** NAH WHAT DSKFJDKE 😭😭

 **minion gijinka:** GUYS

 **minion gijinka:** wait fuck is everyone online

 **gamer girl gf:** yeah

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** i wish we werent

 **thirsty bitch disease:** duality of mankind

 **shark week:** there r 2 wolves inside of u

 **thirsty bitch disease:** one is gay

 **shark week:** the other one is also gay

 **gamer girl gf:** ohmigosh,.,.,.,. we r gay

 **thirsty bitch disease:** yeah ❤️️

 **minion gijinka:** anyway.

 **minion gijinka:** it finally happened

 **mama-hiru:** what happened??

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:**??

 **minion gijinka:** finally after all these years………………

 **minion gijinka:** the absolute legend. has done it

 **boss baby timeskip:** spit it tf out bitch

 **boss baby timeskip:** can ur height not compensate for ur vocabulary or something

 **minion gijinka:** i was getting to it but since u decided to say that ill fucking butcher you first and ur tiny oompa loompa pea sized ass

 **boss baby timeskip:** if it werent for the laws of this school u wld be going back home in a body bag

 **minion gijinka:** lol die mad abt it pussy

 **mama-hiru:** hiyoko just say it jfc

 **minion gijinka:** ugh fine

 **teru fried chicken:** whipped

 **minion gijinka:** shut up whore

 **teru fried chicken:** a

 **minion gijinka:** ANYWAY anyway.

 **minion gijinka:** was anyone going to tell me abt pekoyama’s belly ring or was i supposed to find out when i saw her at the dojo an hour ago

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** ,

 **token white girl:** Oh!!

 **shark week:** OMG SJDKFKJDF SHE REALLY DID IT

 **minion gijinka:** I KNOW I KNOWWWW

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** OH MY GODDD

 **ryotAH:** LMFAO GET SOME PEKO

 **gamer girl gf:** is that why peko keeps dming me to mute you lmao

 **thirsty bitch disease:** oh yea ibuki forgot to tell u guys we got it a few days ago lol

 **stab me daddy:** i guess there is no point in hiding that, is it?

 **stab me daddy:** we’re matching now, at least.

 **thirsty bitch disease:** :D

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** huh. that’s nice!! v cool v nice

 **komaeda <3: **hajime-kun you sound like a grandpa :/

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** shut the fuck up. shut the fuck. up

 **gamer girl gf:** dont worry peepaw its ok nagito and i will take u back to bed

 **ryotAH:** whats an old man doing in a high schooler chatroom 🤨🤨🤨

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** oomf senior citizen? so true king lets go body pains gang

 **shark week:** LMAOSKJDKJKEDFKFGJ

 **teru fried chicken:** bye i ✌️💀

 **mama-hiru:** @stab me daddy @thirsty bitch disease u two RLLY out here!!!

 **totally not a furry:** The dark lord extends his greetings as well.

 **shark week:** so yall just going to ignore hajime huh

 **gamer girl gf:** we’ll bully him later for now we have two sapphics in matching belly rings. all hail

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** HUH

 **thirsty bitch disease:** THANK :DDDD peko-peko says she isn’t comfy with showing off rn, but she will be ok in a few days !!

 **minion gijinka:** HELL YEAH WORK THAT BITCHHHH

 **thirsty bitch disease:** soon ibuki will have all of u with at least one piercing somewhere on ur body ;))

 **shark week:** besides me yk but ofc ofc

 **mama-hiru:** sjahdjshjhsdf sorry mioda-san i wish i had the bravery

 **ryotAH:** u overestimate us yo

 **teru fried chicken:** ok but what abt a dick piercing

 **mama-hiru:** i just fucking knew you were gonna say that

 **teru fried chicken:** IM SORRY IMN SORRYJDHFJRE

 **ryotAH:** shes telling u to go back to horny jail

 **teru fried chicken:** jskdfksjfkd sorry ill just go cook lunch

 **gamer girl gf:** now that THAT’s out of the way

 **gamer girl gf:** hajime why is that ur nickname

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** …you changed it ten minutes ago

 **gamer girl gf:** who? i dont know her

 **antenna cowlick lookin ass:** what the fuck do you want from me

 **gamer girl gf:** change ur nickname obv obv

**gamer girl gf changed antenna cowlick lookin ass’s nickname to please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks**

**ryotAH:** ,

 **ryotAH:** what .

 **thirsty bitch disease:** PLEASE ..,

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** HUH????

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** SKJAKJDKJEKJKSF

 **minion gijinka:** MF WHAT*&@(*&*(@@

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** WHAT THEJTRH FUCKE

 **shark week:** NOOO BROOO STFUU IS THERE SOMETHING UR NOT TELLING ME 🗣

 **shark week:** bro its ok we r bros..,.,.,., u can tell me anything bro. u were even my first kiss so its ok bro. its ok to tell me u have a feet fetish bro

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** SHUT THE FUCK UP.

 **komaeda <3: **huh? hajime-kun, you didn’t tell me you were into that.

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** im. not. holy shit

 **gamer girl gf:** i mean

 **gamer girl gf:** u named this gc feet pic extravaganza. he's just being logical

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** LEAVE ME ALONE IT WAS A LAPSE IN JUDGEMENT

 **minion gijinka:** 5 iq strikes again yeah

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** u deserve no rights. full stop.

 **minion gijinka:** if u want me dead u could just say so lol u pussy

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** i do

 **minion gijinka:** oh.

 **minion gijinka:** yeah so anyway 😄😄😄 yall hear sumthn

 **mama-hiru:** lol

 **minion gijinka:** heyy mahiru :D 💞💞💞 i hope you’re doing well!! do you want me to come over 💖💖💖

 **Tsumikan:** ahaha i wish saionji-san was that nice to all of us…

 **ryotAH:** lol fr

 **minion gijinka:** who r u guys again

 **ryotAH:** sad

 **ryotAH:** anyway back to hajime’s foot fetish

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** r u trying to change the topic to mock me

 **ryotAH:** yeah duh

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** i don’t know if i should be impressed or disappointed .

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** we all disappoint this school theres nothing new if ur disappointed too yk

 **token white girl:** Um?

 **gamer girl gf:** this is so sad

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** issa joke !!

 **mama-hiru:** r u sure

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** nah

 **mama-hiru:** noted

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** if u r all done mocking me i will now go study like a normal person

 **shark week:** lol nerd

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** are you. are you calling me a nerd because i act like a rule abiding student,.,.,.,. with rule abiding student hobbies.,.,., like studying???? R u for real

 **shark week:** WAIT SHIT I KEEP FORGETTING UR ON A SCHOLARSHIP TOO FJKDKKDEJKEJ

 **boss baby timeskip:** …ur also in the scholarship

 **shark week:** oh. oh yeah

 **ryotAH:** r u stupid or smthn /hj

 **shark week:** NO ITS NOT THAT DJKSDKSJ hajime’s in the honor roll soooo

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** eh its not that bad if ur used to it ig ig

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** it’s nice. very satisfying bc the hard work pays off !! the evaluations are bullshit tho

 **minion gijinka:** so ur not just lgbtee but

 **minion gijinka:** ur also a mega nerd

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** lmao

 **minion gijinka:** got the wholeass megamind right here

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** you are the bane and anathema to my existence.

 **minion gijinka:** die mad

 **mama-hiru:** lol hiyoko reel it in a little

 **minion gijinka:** ok!! anything for you and you only ❤️️

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** everyday u somehow get more annoying

 **minion gijinka:** u think im annoying? idk whats up in that nerd mind of urs

 **boss baby timeskip:** i miss the days we didnt know u and didnt have to talk to u and ur annoying ass

 **minion gijinka:** buy my silence.

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** actually i kinda want to can i pay u to stfu

 **minion gijinka:** with what money

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** can i please transfer to another class

 **gamer girl gf:** we ruined a perfectly good class is what we did. look at it. it’s got stupid

* * *

**feet pic extravaganza**

**[4:07 PM]**

**gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** it’s been 10 years since hajime died

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** look guys. i know its hard for yall

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** losing such a good friend/partner like that,.,., you know sometimes i go into the kitchen expecting him to be there to share a snack with or two but yeah. yeah.

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** sometimes i hear sonia crying in her room. We don’t talk about it

 **token white girl:** Um, what?

 **ryotAH:** lol

 **totally not a furry:** What in Hell’s name is going on.

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** i just went to study for a few hours what

 **shark week:** yk akane its weird i can sometimes still hear his voice

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** hey uh what the fuck

 **shark week:** do u hear that??

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** yeah,… yeah i do bro. we’re in this together

 **shark week:** ayo </3

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** what the fuck is going on

 **gamer girl gf:** hajime ur supposed to be dead can u not

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:**.

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** uh. okay

 **minion gijinka:** omg its u

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** WAIT UR ALIVE????

 **shark week:** BRO UR ALIVE???

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** i wasn’t dead,

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** ok cool so now that i got everyone’s attention

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** so pretending i was dead was a ploy for ur sick twisted plans huh

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** it’s called situational storytelling or some shit idk get ur head in the game

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** i just wanted everyone to know that i saw that togami guy from 2nd year wearing a cat ear headband

 **gamer girl gf:** w

 **gamer girl gf:** what

 **ryotAH:** kjshdkhJHWSUJAHEJH HUH

 **minion gijinka:** THERE’S NO WAY MF TOGAMI WAS WEARING CAT EARS .

 **teru fried chicken:** FR FR LMAOOO PLEASLEKLKF

 **shark week:** i???

 **shark week:** pics. pics or that shit fake

 **boss baby timeskip:** him being a catboy doesnt change the fact that the man is still a filthy capitalist bitch boy

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** full offense but in first year u were an asshole, and ur still the heir to one of the biggest yakuza families in the country so in essence.,.,., ur also a filthy capitalist bitch boy

 **boss baby timeskip:** i mean we acquire the money illegally and distribute it to not-so-well-off associates so the latter part of ur argument is void

 **gamer girl gf:** is this the time we discuss the strange ethics and moral compass this school has when it comes to recruiting or

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** my brain’s not up for that srry

 **minion gijinka:** moving on and back to fucking TOGAMI wearing cat ears

 **shark week:** right!!

 **shark week:** pics or that shit is FAKE fake

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** catboytogamisorealsotrue.jpeg

 **shark week:** holy fucking shit

 **minion gijinka:** what the FUCK

 **minion gijinka:** am i hallucinating

 **minion gijinka:** is collective mass hallucination a thing

 **shark week:** i wish we were but holy shit

 **boss baby timeskip:** is it a trend or something

 **minion gijinka:** nah lol this is just some weird rich boy fantasy power play hallucination

 **gamer girl gf:** i wish it was but i can tell that pic isnt photoshopped lol

 **gamer girl gf:** it’s legit

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** wow

 **ryotAH:** lets say, hypothetically, im a kitty cat

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** ryota shut the fuck up

 **teru fried chicken:** wait hold awn does this mean togami’s a furry

 **totally not a furry:** I’ve been curious for a while, but seeing as this is my nickname, I don’t actually know what a furry is.

 **totally not a furry:** Would any of you mortals care to elaborate?

 **minion gijinka:** you,

 **minion gijinka:** you don’t know,

 **boss baby timeskip:**.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,

 **totally not a furry:** Unlike you people, I’m not very updated on internet culture so I could care less. What’s a furry?

 **teru fried chicken:** KSJHAHDJSHEJHEJHDJSF

 **shark week:** huh so our gundham stan twitter theory doesn’t hold much water after all

 **minion gijinka:** yeah lol

 **ryotAH:** see furry stands for F – FGundham, U – UTanaka, R - , R - , Y –

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** thank u ryota very cool

 **totally not a furry:** Why did I even ask.

 **teru fried chicken:** lmao

 **teru fried chicken:** wait wait

 **teru fried chicken:** is that naegi guy togami is dating actually the furry, or is it still him

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** why r we talking about this. why

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** @gamer girl gf do something asshole

 **gamer girl gf:** if i don’t see any girls in cat ears then im not barking

 **token white girl:** :o!! Owari-san and I already have a pair and trying it on. You can go to my room if you’d like, there’s one headband for you dear ^^

 **gamer girl gf:** JSIAHUI478&^@*(&*!@#$

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** holy fucking shit you killed her

 **minion gijinka:** all sonia ever does is lurk and strike when the time is right

 **ryotAH:** i aspire to have that energy ngl

 **gamer girl gf:** sonia jshjfhsjfhjdjdhg 💕💕💕💕💕

**token white girl: 💖**

**gamer girl gf:** u too akane but u keep no homoing me i hate u

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** sad

 **gamer girl gf:** i guess i rlly am boo boo the fool here huh

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** i guess u are </3

 **thirsty bitch disease:** ibuki hates this weird slow burn shit can u guys just kiss or something 

**ryotAH:** kdhksadhjshHEUJEHJHFS IBUKI

 **gamer girl gf:** maybe we should

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** hm

 **gamer girl gf:** D:

 **thirsty bitch disease:** D:

 **minion gijinka:** savage

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** please don’t say that ever again.

 **minion gijinka:** you do know if it annoys yall more i WILL just say it again right

* * *

**feet pic extravaganza**

**[4:39 PM]**

**gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** kirigiricatearreal.jpeg

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** firstyears????catears???.jpeg

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** HELP?????

 **shark week:** KIRIGIRI?????

 **shark week:** IM SORRY IVE TALKED TO HER ONCE AND I GET THE IMPRESSION HOMEGIRL WOULD RATHER BE CAUGHT DEAD THAN WEAR THOSE I

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** i mean. That’s what we thought with togami

 **gamer girl gf:** that was half an hour ago dude. things change

 **minion gijinka:** nah if u mention it she kinda looks like shes being held at gunpoint while wearing those lol

 **mama-hiru:** i talked to asahina and she said ludenburg said something out loud and kirigiri went straight for the rack

 **gamer girl gf:** SO MEGA GAY

 **thirsty bitch disease:** SUPER DUPER MEGA GAY

 **mama-hiru:** s word

 **token white girl:** I think everyone looks cute! :D

 **shark week:** ABSOLUTELY NOT ,

 **shark week:** that ouma guy is wearing cat ears. what the fuck do u think of him

 **token white girl:** I do not think offering my opinion on this matter will be very helpful.

 **ryotAH:** DJKFHJDKJGKEDSKFS

 **teru fried chicken:** sonia b like “if i was allowed to use words they will hurt”

 **boss baby timeskip:** this entire school is fucking weird

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** this entire DAY is weird.,.,.,. i still cant believe togami wearing a cat ear headband is a real thing that happened

 **shark week:** ok but what if togami was just an illusion this entire time and in reality he doesn’t exist and our brains were conditioned to think he did.

 **teru fried chicken:** omg……

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** ok but what if I stop inviting you over to my room to watch american conspiracy videos at 2 am.

 **Gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** eh. He’s making some points dude

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** HE’S LITERALLY NOT???

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** im just saying. togami’s entire existence is kinda icky

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** i mean,.,., have u SEEN him in first year??? classist, elitist, annoying and other shit all in one package theres not a single good quality in there .

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** he obviously isnt real

 **teru fried chicken:** JHSJAHGDJHSDJSHE CUT HIM SOME SLACK LMFAO

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** ur just biased bc ur a lesbian lol

 **shark week:** i mean im gay. and i think he isnt real either

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** SEE its SUSPICIOUS as fuck 🤨

 **shark week:** yea its up for some serious debate

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** can u guys stop trying to prove togami isnt real

 **gamer girl gf:** i wish he wasnt /s

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** why do i have the feeling that sarcasm indicator was only added as an afterthought

* * *

**feet pic extravaganza**

**[9:04 PM]**

**togami 2 electric boogaloo:** Question.

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** Does anyone here have any knowledge on playing with a musical instrument, besides Mioda?

 **minion gijinka:** no

 **mama-hiru:** not really

 **gamer girl gf:** i tripped over an amplifier once

 **komaeda <3: **i remember trying a drum set and it fell apart after my first hit, if that counts :D

 **Tsumikan:** oh ummm i cant play instruments but i do like singing sometimes…… does that count ?

 **teru fried chicken:** can vouch for my dude ryota but we cant play anything like that either

 **ryotAH:** does watching synthesia count

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** So what I’m getting is none of you know how to play aside from her.

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** p much

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** i mean,.,.,. she DID take me to her sessions a few times. but i found myself having more fun than actually learning anything,.,., idk her teaching style maybe just wasnt for me haha

 **stab me daddy:** ^ i know a few things with an acoustic guitar maybe, but not enough for a performance level thing.

 **mama-hiru:** oh she taught u right?? thats so cute!!

 **stab me daddy:** yeah.

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** I suppose that’s alright.

 **token white girl:** Ah, I do remember learning for piano and violin a few years back, but it will take a while to pick them back up again. I do think I’m confident with that! However…

 **boss baby timeskip:** whats with the ellipsis

 **boss baby timeskip:** and all this music talk

 **boss baby timeskip:** whats going on??

 **token white girl:** Oh haha, remember when the Battle of the Bands event for the school festival last year was cancelled on the final day because of a storm?

 **token white girl:** The principal notified the school officials group that there will be a briefing for it tomorrow. It’s rather safe to say they’re bringing it back, for real this time since the weather’s been very kind to us recently.

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** ^ hence, all this instrument talk.

 **gamer girl gf:** oh yea the three of us we’ll b gone for first and second period tomorrow bc of the meeting so dont wait up for us ig ig

 **shark week:** WAIT SHIT the festival’s in a month or so away damn

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** im getting whiplash

 **minion gijinka:** fr im like. suddenly very aware of time rn

 **komaeda <3: **aha that sounds delightful! i don’t think i'll be able to join that event in particular though, but i will be cheering you all on :D

 **gamer girl gf:** sjkhfdjshfjdhfef thats ok nagito-kun!!

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** I don’t intend to force any of you to join this time, but I do remember a lot of you were in for it last school year.

 **gordon ramsay content enjoyer:** sure why not tho?? its like. our last school year anyways it sounds fun as hell

 **token white girl:** I do think a lot of us will be contributing to something whether they’ll join or not; thought it’s rather sure to say Mioda-san is a staple in there.

 **stab me daddy:** she would say yes, but she’s napping on me right now so i'm answering in her place.

 **boss baby timeskip:** gay

 **stab me daddy:** no u.jpeg

 **ryotAH:** SJABDNJSDJHSHJEHD

 **teru fried chicken:** SHE AINT WRONG AHAHSHAGDE

 **minion gijinka:** its so WEIRD seeing peko use memes i

 **gamer girl gf:** the fact that theyr all kinda old is also.,.,.,

 **shark week:** cryptid energy

 **boss baby timeskip:** shut the fuck up shes trying her best

 **ryotAH:** i have. a question

 **togami 2 electric boogaloo:** Ryota, if this is about your conversation to me about bigfoot and aliens, then I will not answer.

 **ryotAH:** ITSN OT THAT BSAJHDJSHEJE

 **minion gijinka:** ...bigfoot

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** wait so he had that conversation w u too??

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** he started saying bigfoot was all made up by the hand lovers fandom so ppl will start getting repulsed when they see big feet

 **gamer girl gf:** i

 **token white girl:** Um? Et tu, Ryota-kun?

 **teru fried chicken:** HAND LOVERS

 **teru fried chicken:** FANDOM

 **shark week:** KSOAKUJDKSJKE*(@&*&#

 **minion gijinka:** HELP?????

 **ryotAH:** i am very tired, gay, and i have no money. so you can imagine the kind of stress im under

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** i think my brain is forming a new fucking synapse

 **ryotAH:** leave me ALONE. i haven’t eaten anything solid in the last ten hours, and mistakes were committed on that horrible, horrible morning.

 **ryotAH:** as for my genuine question

 **ryotAH:** did yall see that oowada guy wearing cat ears too

 **minion gijinka:** LMAO WAT

 **shark week:** ok now i know ur just fucking with us 100%

 **shark week:** theres no way mf mondo was going CATBOY today

 **ryotAH:** mondofurry.jpeg

 **shark week:** what the flying albatross fuck???

 **please nagito the feet pics it’s been 5 weeks:** this school is the weirdest fucking place ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slice of life things !! :] and uh, more stupid shit. im sorry if i havent updated in a while, but i'll try my best. the response to this chatfic has been very WHOA to me and it makes me happy yall r w me in this thing bc i have no idea what im doing. like, at all.,.,. ive been reading lots of stuff recently and ao3 user Livali if ur reading this i hope u have a fantastic day
> 
> anyways, i hope this was funny for yall!!
> 
> nickname changes:  
> hajimeme > antenna cowlick lookin ass > please nagito the feet pics it's been 5 weeks: hajime


End file.
